Mom Sending Legal Fees Check w/Kids

[stealth2]

My ex used to send CS with the kids. Did I like it? Not much. But it was what it was. When the kids asked, I was very matter-of-fact about it - Both their Dad and I are responsible for providing for them. Since they live primarily with me, Dad helps with the expenses.

When he was reimbursing legal fees and the question came up, I simply told them that while the judge was helping us work out what was best for them, he said we had to split the cost of that help and Dad was just paying me his portion.

Short, sweet and truthful w/o being dramatic.

ETA... while I don't like seeing a Senior called out like wiley was, I do think we need to practice what we preach. And if *WE* would call out a newb for the same type of post (and you know we would, wiley), then we should expect it ourselves. Seriously - this is when PM comes in handy. That's how I would have (and have done) asked the question.

 

[jbowman]

i could care less what jb or overstepping think of me, even tho either of them might, at any given post, have some decent input/feedback.

good night!

Im sorry but how in the heck did my name get included in what someone thinks of you? But since you brought it up, I do think you care about what I think given the random PMs you have sent me regarding your situation with your stepchildren. And since you wanted to put me on blast, I will say that I think your attitude about never wanting them and the extreme burden they have put on your life is very unfortunate.

Also, putting your business out there saying that using a child as a courier is the best way to go, only opens you up for criticsm so getting defensive with a someone who doesnt agree makes you look stupid. Involving the kids in any adult manner (regardless of how you personally feel about them) is in poor taste.

You say that its your husband's business and you have nothing to do with it but you obviously think its a good idea. Yuck

i found the child courier concept to be the way to go.

 

[truebluemd]

This is getting off topic.

back to OP post. This is possilby a difficult ex being difficult, doing what she wants, possibly to piss dad off, and if so, obviously its working.

Or, Perhaps she doesnt see it as big a deal as dad does as far as the kids knowing. If she is difficult, expect her not to change sending checks through dd, especially if dad has asked her to stop. To take it back to court would be petty and wasteful.

 

[JacobJoel]

for the record,

on second thought, none of this matters. i said my say already.

have a nce day.

 

[Silverplum]

ETA... while I don't like seeing a Senior called out like wiley was, I do think we need to practice what we preach. And if *WE* would call out a newb for the same type of post (and you know we would, wiley), then we should expect it ourselves. Seriously - this is when PM comes in handy. That's how I would have (and have done) asked the question.

I'd like to co-sign that, please.

And to offer my help via PM to any Senior/Friend O'Mine who wants it.

 

[jbowman]

Whole dumb post.

First of all, half of what you wrote makes no sense. Second of all, I would never and have never made up another screen name to tell YOU my opinions. That is the stupidest thing I ever heard. Paranoid much?

And 3rd, I dont understand your obsession with what I think about you and why my name even came out of your fingertips. I havent responded to any one of your posts in at least a year. I pretty much ignore you because of your horrible attitude towards your stepchildren (however "fresh" that attitude was.) I found it disgusting and still do. No one here probably knows the extent of your distaste for them but I do. Therefore I have chosen to ignore all of your posts, advice etc. To me, you are absolutely the LAST person on this board to advise someone on how to stepparent. If you dont want a response from me-- keep my name out of your responses.

 

[JacobJoel]

Im sorry but how in the heck did my name get included in what someone thinks of you? But since you brought it up, I do think you care about what I think given the random PMs you have sent me regarding your situation with your stepchildren. And since you wanted to put me on blast, I will say that I think your attitude about never wanting them and the extreme burden they have put on your life is very unfortunate.

Also, putting your business out there saying that using a child as a courier is the best way to go, only opens you up for criticsm so getting defensive with a someone who doesnt agree makes you look stupid. Involving the kids in any adult manner (regardless of how you personally feel about them) is in poor taste.

You say that its your husband's business and you have nothing to do with it but you obviously think its a good idea. Yuck

Since YOU brought it up; yeah, in a moment of extreme pain i sent you a note asking much the same as wiley did here, i.e., 'what would you do', what do you think...however, after a bit of time to think more clearly i decided you were probably a poor choice, being as how i was already being fried for something that was totally innocent.

and no, i do not consider the children, proper, to be a burden. i consider their parents inability or lack of desire to step up to the plate and BE the parents to be totally reprehensible.

i don't 'obviously' think anything except whatever it takes to get the job done and avoid unneccesary conflict.

this coupled with the fact that after many, MANY snide comments about how 'little' dad paid (even tho he has over paid by THOUSANDS of dollars) dad sat down and taught the definition of CS, the intent of CS, responsibility and expectation of CS.

i'm sure that got back to the other household because all discussion ceased.

drastic? yes. productive? yes.

any of my business? not.

so i am good. thankyouforyoursupport!

 

[truebluemd]

this is so elementary**************..PARENTS

 

[stealth2]

JJ and JB - are the two of you done hijacking wiley's thread? Grow up, already.

 

[Ohiogal]

JJ and JB - are the two of you done hijacking wiley's thread? Grow up, already.

Don't you just feel the love between them Stealth? I do. I am FEELING THE LOVE! Anyone want a drink or some chocolate? Or maybe a chocolate ******i?

 

[stealth2]

Don't you just feel the love between them Stealth? I do. I am FEELING THE LOVE! Anyone want a drink or some chocolate? Or maybe a chocolate ******i?

Sun's over the yardarm and I skived off work. Make it a glass of white wine, please.

 

[JacobJoel]

i'm sorry

i blame it on step parent stress syndrome.

but fires and arguements have one thing in common: their inability to continue with a lack of fuel.

love to all....and i will take both the drink AND the chocolate!

 

[wileybunch]

I actually disagree that my question is "just like any newbie" because I didn't load my question with an expectation that anyone should answer to support a certain POV. In fact, the only specific answer I suggested was "just let it go".

My question was:

WWYD? Just let it go? Or something else?

OG answered first and said "just let it go".
Others answered with such vigor and accusations, using a one size fits all reaming.

But, if you read my original post, it couldn't have been more straightforward as a sanity check. One responder (jbowman) said she took her ex to court over sending checks back and forth. I simply asked the question here whether to just let it go or something else and was accused of some high dramatics. Huh?

Anyway, I will keep PM in mind in the future, it actually hadn't occurred to me to do it that way.

No one else who may be facing something similarly would benefit from reading the responses that way, would maybe save some from taking it to a level they don't need to, but at least it will save MY hide doing it that way.

 

[Isis1]

Don't you just feel the love between them Stealth? I do. I am FEELING THE LOVE! Anyone want a drink or some chocolate? Or maybe a chocolate ******i?

apparently, i need something stronger so i can be put out of my misery.

 

[wileybunch]

Don't you just feel the love between them Stealth? I do. I am FEELING THE LOVE! Anyone want a drink or some chocolate? Or maybe a chocolate ******i?

I'm waiting for my cupcake at 2PM. Anyone want me to save them one?