mom's a skank, I want custody

[discusted daddy]

What is the name of your state? AR

About 5 years ago I lived with a woman and she became pregnant. When it came time to fill out the birth certificate at the hopital at the birth of our daughter (H), the nurse informed me that I couldnt be put on the birth certificate b/c the mother was married to another. I freaked, she told me she'd been divorce for a long time. Anyway, we stayed together for a while until about 2 years later when she ran off to god know's where. I looked for her but as soon as I would locate her she was off again. I convinced her to move up to AR from FL about 8 mos ago. I have been giving her money and clothes for my dau. I took a paternity test and she is definately mine. There is no set visitation and the only thing holding her here is that she's on probation for theft about 4 mos ago. My dau is 5 and has missd so far, 12 days of school in her first semester of kindergarten. Her teacher has had to give her clothes b/c she's filthy and socks b/c it's cold and she's not wearing any. The mom's on meds for manic depressant/paranoid schitzophrenic. I tried to get human services to take her from her mother when she rubbed my crotch a couple times and told me her mom taught her how to do that. This came to no avail. Her mom and her boyfriend were busted for drugs about a month ago and she's awaiting trial on that. While the boyfriend was in jail he confessed to raping her other 7 year old boy. I freaked again and begged and begged for some counseling or something. I guess they got him on the one kid so no one seems to care about the others. In an emergency custody hearing, the judge granted me emergency custody pending the location of her husband. Ya, the same one that she was married to 5 yrs ago since she was born w/in that marriage and he may be an interrested party. She never has gotten a divorce. Oh, by the way, this is the same guy who won custody of her first 2 children(she has 5 total) when she abandoned them at the babysitter's. The judge postponed everything, including set court ordered child support, visitation and my emergency custody until this man is found. He also told me that he would recommend some councelors for me to take her to when the case was settled. So, I have a catch 22, I have emergency custody, but I don't. I have exausted every method I know of to find him. My dau's mom doesnt know or wont say. I've hired a man from the sherriff's office that locates people for a living to find him. He's not come up w/anything. So............................
1)What kind of proof do I have to give the judge that says this man can't be found or will he even accept that?
2)Do I have a substantial case for temporary and then full custody?
yes, I do have a lawyer, he's been diagnosed with cancer recently, so he's quite preoccupied. Thanks for any comments.

 

[ellencee]

discusted daddy

Is that a play on dis-custody or a typo for disgusted or just a username?

Anyway--you should be able to attempt to find him by placing a notice in the legal notice section of the newspaper in the town of his last known residence. I believe the notice has to run for 30 days. Then, take your proof of your attempt to notify him and present it to the judge.

For what it's worth, the description of what this child has had to endure makes me sick. I wish only the best for her and for you.

EC

 

[discusted daddy]

Ya, that's it, I'm a perfect typist, the play on words was intentional

That's the problem, I don't know where he was last. I paid for a search on the internet and they gave me a person by the same name in the state where he was supposedly living. The information was current as of 1999. If this was him, he is not there now. I was told he was in jail in 1998 in Florida, but that is just hearsay now. Can I go by the last know residence of when he and she were still together? But that's been 7 years ago and I don't think she will willingly give up that info.

 

[ellencee]

discusted daddy
I'm not an attorney, but if 7 years ago is the last really and truly known address, I think it is appropriate. Maybe someone in that town will recognize his name and let him know he has a legal notice in the paper and he'll respond. lol, yeah...

I do think it would be appropriate to use that last known address, though.

EC

 

[nextwife]

So there is a ready, willing and able bioparent begging for custody, and they have the child where? In foster care? And they may never locate dad and in the meantime this child is losing an opportunity to live with her parent. Oh, and they will charge YOU for this foster care BTW.

The whole thing makes me sick. PLEASE try to get your lawyer to do something. THis stinks.

 

[CAPrincess]

Ditto what everyone else said and good look to you.

I also wanted to say that I like the title of this thread.

 

[discusted daddy]

She's not in foster care, she's still with her mother. I was told that if they put her in foster care that I would also have to go to court and fight them to get her back on top of fighting her mother to get her back. I just need to find this guy or someway of proving that I cant find him. Thanks for the feedback.

 

[raddadthomas]

Our Prayers U Got

Place an ad in 3 of the most likely cities. I pray noone will respond. Hopefully, this will apease the judge that you made a legitimate attempt.

Run the notices for 30 days like Ellence said.

God be with you and your little girl.

 

[jjacobs852]

Hi Dad,

My heart goes out to you. Not sure if this will help, but I have a GREAT PI that's a childhood friend of my husband's. And before I met my husband, he's done some PI work for me dirt cheap. He's quality. If nothing else, perhaps he knows someone who can help. If you're interested, let me know.

You have my prayers......

 

[Myheart2yours]

I liked the title of this post too!

nm

 

[discusted daddy]

I did hire a man from the sherriff's office who is a "people finder" for them. I don't think he has a title of PI. I've asked him to look for another week or so and write a report to me that he cant find the man. Hopefully this will suffice. I am planning on running the article in at least three different papers(thanks raddad). Problem is, I just have what people have told me to go on as to which locations I post them in. I did hear he was in jail in 1998 in Jacksonville,FL. Who would I call to find out for sure? I can't find anything on the web that will date back that far if he's not still on probation.

The title of this thread was actually not my first thought but some things ya just cant say out loud.

 

[The It]

Pardon my ignorance..

But, if mom has custody and "I took a paternity test and she is definately mine" why not take the pt to a judge through an attorney to establish custody/parenting? I don't understand why you would have to track down a man who is not even the father in order to proceed.

Again, this is out of my own ignorance...and BTW, how does one just become pregnant?

 

[VeronicaGia]

Re: Pardon my ignorance..

But, if mom has custody and "I took a paternity test and she is definately mine" why not take the pt to a judge through an attorney to establish custody/parenting? I don't understand why you would have to track down a man who is not even the father in order to proceed.

Again, this is out of my own ignorance...and BTW, how does one just become pregnant?

Because she was married to someone else when she got pregnant with out posters child. That automatically makes him the father, and bio dad a stranger.

 

[Boxcarbill]

Because she was married to someone else when she got pregnant with out posters child. That automatically makes him the father, and bio dad a stranger.

Just a slight correction but law is all about fine points. Because she was married to someone else when she became pregnant with the poster's child makes the husband the presumed father. As a general rule (but the law is about fine points) presumptions are rebuttable. The DNA would rebut the presumption.

 

[Boxcarbill]

What is the name of your state? AR

About 5 years ago I lived with a woman and she became pregnant. When it came time to fill out the birth certificate at the hopital at the birth of our daughter (H), the nurse informed me that I couldnt be put on the birth certificate b/c the mother was married to another. I freaked, she told me she'd been divorce for a long time. Anyway, we stayed together for a while until about 2 years later when she ran off to god know's where. I looked for her but as soon as I would locate her she was off again. I convinced her to move up to AR from FL about 8 mos ago. I have been giving her money and clothes for my dau. I took a paternity test and she is definately mine. There is no set visitation and the only thing holding her here is that she's on probation for theft about 4 mos ago. My dau is 5 and has missd so far, 12 days of school in her first semester of kindergarten. Her teacher has had to give her clothes b/c she's filthy and socks b/c it's cold and she's not wearing any. The mom's on meds for manic depressant/paranoid schitzophrenic. I tried to get human services to take her from her mother when she rubbed my crotch a couple times and told me her mom taught her how to do that. This came to no avail. Her mom and her boyfriend were busted for drugs about a month ago and she's awaiting trial on that. While the boyfriend was in jail he confessed to raping her other 7 year old boy. I freaked again and begged and begged for some counseling or something. I guess they got him on the one kid so no one seems to care about the others. In an emergency custody hearing, the judge granted me emergency custody pending the location of her husband. Ya, the same one that she was married to 5 yrs ago since she was born w/in that marriage and he may be an interrested party. She never has gotten a divorce. Oh, by the way, this is the same guy who won custody of her first 2 children(she has 5 total) when she abandoned them at the babysitter's. The judge postponed everything, including set court ordered child support, visitation and my emergency custody until this man is found. He also told me that he would recommend some councelors for me to take her to when the case was settled. So, I have a catch 22, I have emergency custody, but I don't. I have exausted every method I know of to find him. My dau's mom doesnt know or wont say. I've hired a man from the sherriff's office that locates people for a living to find him. He's not come up w/anything. So............................
1)What kind of proof do I have to give the judge that says this man can't be found or will he even accept that?
2)Do I have a substantial case for temporary and then full custody?
yes, I do have a lawyer, he's been diagnosed with cancer recently, so he's quite preoccupied. Thanks for any comments.

All right, discusted daddy, I will give you some comments just because you acknowleged that behind every successful man there is a woman and behind the successful woman there is a gay hairdresser. Besides you have such a fabulous eye for colour that I thought you might help me decide whether to paint the walls of my salon a lavender or a dusty rose. The fixtures are black. Sorry, I become so distracted when the creative side of my brain kicks in. On to the comments.

[ EDIT: my bad.]


If the husband did pen time in Florida. The county courthouse in which he was sentenced from, Jacksonville FL, has a criminal file that will give you a wealth of information--including SSN, birth date, relative's addresses, etc.. In short, damn near anything that you want to know. What it doesn't tell you, the file will provide you with the information to find out everything else. My money says that if he was in the pen, his parole officer knows exactly where he is and I would be willing to bet that he is back in the pen, if not in FL then somewhere.