motion to modify? Voluntary changes

[angeleyzad]

and it's possible he'll get them. No one can tell you. I don't even know what you mean when you say 'purchase them from you'.

Tax exemptions - purchasing exemptions from me means If it would be more beneficial for him to claim the boys on his taxes, then he would have to pay me what I would have gotten if I had claimed the boys. I still get the benefit, but he would get any extra over the amount I would have gotten.

The kids are 2.5 years older now. 6 weeks is totally reasonable.

We basically split the summer now....the judge said that he was not counting the week after school got out or the week before school started because of the transition, that left about 8 1/2 weeks - Judge ordered it at 4 weeks with NCP (he did have 6 weeks before they started school)

Aren't these the same thing?

The alternating schedule he wants now is a 1st/4th weekend one month, 2nd/3rd weekend the next month, etc...nothing regular. Our alternating schedule we have now is the EOW.

How are you alternating if his request was denied, and you have them every Christmas?

Our Christmas holiday - I have Christmas eve day through noon on Christmas day. He has noon Christmas day through noon on the 27th. It is like this every year so the kids can enjoy both families traditions (My family has party X-mas eve, his family has party X-mas night every year). So, we do split the christmas school vacation already. We also alternate New Years Day, so it pretty much evens out - one year I get majority of school vacation, the next year he gets majority. We alternate Feb/April vacations, so we both have a school vacation every year.

For occasional visitations, or completely? You're not being clear at ALL.

Removing from daycare - this is completely. With prior notification to me, he can visit the kids at daycare, but not remove them from the premesis.

 

[Zephyr]

Tax exemptions - purchasing exemptions from me means If it would be more beneficial for him to claim the boys on his taxes, then he would have to pay me what I would have gotten if I had claimed the boys. I still get the benefit, but he would get any extra over the amount I would have gotten.



We basically split the summer now....the judge said that he was not counting the week after school got out or the week before school started because of the transition, that left about 8 1/2 weeks - Judge ordered it at 4 weeks with NCP (he did have 6 weeks before they started school)



The alternating schedule he wants now is a 1st/4th weekend one month, 2nd/3rd weekend the next month, etc...nothing regular. Our alternating schedule we have now is the EOW.



Our Christmas holiday - I have Christmas eve day through noon on Christmas day. He has noon Christmas day through noon on the 27th. It is like this every year so the kids can enjoy both families traditions (My family has party X-mas eve, his family has party X-mas night every year). So, we do split the christmas school vacation already. We also alternate New Years Day, so it pretty much evens out - one year I get majority of school vacation, the next year he gets majority. We alternate Feb/April vacations, so we both have a school vacation every year.



Removing from daycare - this is completely. With prior notification to me, he can visit the kids at daycare, but not remove them from the premesis.

you need to think about your kids on the x-mas issue- the only way the current set up works is if you guys are relatively close to each other- which you are not anymore- I mean really are you going to make your kids spend 5 hours in the car every year at x-mas on xmas day? be reasonable it's much better for the kids to just alternate

and I know it's not your fault, and he is the one who moved, but think about the kids

 

[angeleyzad]

you need to think about your kids on the x-mas issue- the only way the current set up works is if you guys are relatively close to each other- which you are not anymore- I mean really are you going to make your kids spend 5 hours in the car every year at x-mas on xmas day? be reasonable it's much better for the kids to just alternate

and I know it's not your fault, and he is the one who moved, but think about the kids

I cannot see how it would be better for the kids to miss Christmas with either of their families. Besides, they have always traveled 2 hours on Christmas Day. Now with his move further away, they still would only be going the 2 hours that they have always gone on Christmas - to his family, that is where their party would be. He moved 2 hours from that. It is exactly the schedule we had when we were together, too. We would spend Christmas Eve at my family's, have Christmas morning, then in the afternoon, travel 2 hours to his family. I am trying to think about the kids...I don't think it's right for them to miss such an important holiday with either of their families. The way we have it now, it works for both families.

 

[Zephyr]

I cannot see how it would be better for the kids to miss Christmas with either of their families. Besides, they have always traveled 2 hours on Christmas Day. Now with his move further away, they still would only be going the 2 hours that they have always gone on Christmas - to his family, that is where their party would be. He moved 2 hours from that. It is exactly the schedule we had when we were together, too. We would spend Christmas Eve at my family's, have Christmas morning, then in the afternoon, travel 2 hours to his family.

and let me guess.....even though both families want the children to participate in the tradition sooo badly...neither one is willing to move their dinner either one day forward or back?


I would not stick my kids in the car for a long drive on xmas- I can have x-mas with my kids any day I want to

 

[angeleyzad]

and let me guess.....even though both families want the children to participate in the tradition sooo badly...neither one is willing to move their dinner either one day forward or back?


I would not stick my kids in the car for a long drive on xmas- I can have x-mas with my kids any day I want to

The thing is, on both families, it is not just us...my side has 12 families that get together on Christmas Eve (My mother's entire side of the family) His family is 4 families (his immediate family) that get together every Christmas night. Our Christmases were like this every year that we were together, and there was never a problem. We have also alternated the Christmas holiday now for 4 years...and there has never been an issue until now.

 

[NotSoNew]

The thing is, on both families, it is not just us...my side has 12 families that get together on Christmas Eve (My mother's entire side of the family) His family is 4 families (his immediate family) that get together every Christmas night. Our Christmases were like this every year that we were together, and there was never a problem. We have also alternated the Christmas holiday now for 4 years...and there has never been an issue until now.

although his FAMILY gets together on Xmas even he may want to see his children opening presents on Xmas morning, and if he is willing to sacrifice going to his family party for that, then its his right.

 

[angeleyzad]

although his FAMILY gets together on Xmas even he may want to see his children opening presents on Xmas morning, and if he is willing to sacrifice going to his family party for that, then its his right.

So, in other words, if he wants to sacrifice his party, then the kids should have to sacrifice all parties? Not fair to any of the parties involved. The kids benefit from having the holiday the way it is, being able to attend all the christmas parties. To alternate, that means that the kids would miss 2 christmas parties/traditions every year, no matter how it is done. Besides, originally, the judge had agreed - the kids benefit most from the schedule we have.

 

[NotSoNew]

So, in other words, if he wants to sacrifice his party, then the kids should have to sacrifice all parties? Not fair to any of the parties involved. The kids benefit from having the holiday the way it is, being able to attend all the christmas parties. To alternate, that means that the kids would miss 2 christmas parties/traditions every year, no matter how it is done. Besides, originally, the judge had agreed - the kids benefit most from the schedule we have.

but they would get to spend Xmas morning with their father, something they havent gotten to do (in a long time?) and i think that would mean more to a judge then christmas parties. dad has the right to see his kids on Xmas morning just as the kids have the right to spend that time with dad! you are starting to sound like a 2 year old stomping your feet because you arent getting your way. You dont have to convince US, you have to convince the judge, but every other year on christmas is pretty standard stuff!

 

[angeleyzad]

but they would get to spend Xmas morning with their father, something they havent gotten to do (in a long time?) and i think that would mean more to a judge then christmas parties. dad has the right to see his kids on Xmas morning just as the kids have the right to spend that time with dad! you are starting to sound like a 2 year old stomping your feet because you arent getting your way. You dont have to convince US, you have to convince the judge, but every other year on christmas is pretty standard stuff!

It's funny, you know? Questions get asked, comments get made, the OP comes back and answers/comments on it, and they're told that they sound like children that don't get their way...

That said, it is not that I do not want them to spend time with their father...on many occasions I have informed their father that time that he would be missing because of other issues that come up would not be beneficial, which would have caused him to miss weekends and such - he just wanted to miss the 2 days he would have spent with the boys on Mother's Day weekend (his normal weekend), but I told him no, keep the visitation, because it would have been 6 weeks without seeing the boys (because of Memorial weekend with me). So, I have made sure he gets his visitation.

The Christmas holiday is a holiday for the entire family, not just me, not just him, not just the boys. The judge had agreed with that in the beginning. That the kids benefit the most the way we have the schedule, because of the family traditions.

 

[Zephyr]

It's funny, you know? Questions get asked, comments get made, the OP comes back and answers/comments on it, and they're told that they sound like children that don't get their way...

That said, it is not that I do not want them to spend time with their father...on many occasions I have informed their father that time that he would be missing because of other issues that come up would not be beneficial, which would have caused him to miss weekends and such - he just wanted to miss the 2 days he would have spent with the boys on Mother's Day weekend (his normal weekend), but I told him no, keep the visitation, because it would have been 6 weeks without seeing the boys (because of Memorial weekend with me). So, I have made sure he gets his visitation.

The Christmas holiday is a holiday for the entire family, not just me, not just him, not just the boys. The judge had agreed with that in the beginning. That the kids benefit the most the way we have the schedule, because of the family traditions.[/QUOTE]


what you are not getting is the boys are the only ones inconvenienced by the schedule.....and everyone has time off at christmas either one of yall's parties could be moved a day one way or the other to accomodate alternating holidays- everyone would know months in advance so the scheduling of 12 families or whatever does not hold much water

 

[stealth2]

Thing is, when parents split up, traditions often have to be adjusted. If the two parents and extended familes cared to do so, the parties COULD be adjusted to accomodate the kids. In case you hadn't heard.... life's about changes, nothing ever stays the same.

My kids' Dad is a distance away, and we alternate holidays (save Easter). Yeah, we have our family traditions that need to be adjusted. Not every blessed person can make it every year - such is life. If you ask the kids, spending the time with me and/or Dad is more important.

Darlin'? Get over yourself.

 

[angeleyzad]

what you are not getting is the boys are the only ones inconvenienced by the schedule.....and everyone has time off at christmas either one of yall's oarties could be moved a day one way or the other to accomodate alternating holidays- everyone would know months in advance so the scheduling of 12 families or whatever does not hold much water

So, in order for the 12 families to change the Christmas holiday for 1 of those families, each of those families now has to change the rest of the plans they have for the holiday (which, in many instances, involves yet other famlies)...

so your 12 famlies (+the 4 on his side) has now turned into probably over 50 families having to change their traditional celebrations to compensate for that 1 family. So, no, the kids are not the only ones inconvenienced by the schedule. Besides, had we stayed together, this is exactly the schedule they would have had. How is that inconveniencing them? Also, the NCP actually has to work some Christmas holidays...with only a 2 hour break (being a firefighter/paramedic). I grew up with a firefighter as a Dad, and yeah, once in a while, he had to work, so we only saw him for a couple of hours for dinner during his break.

It seems now that this is now getting out of hand with the Christmas holiday. I can see that alot of you want just alternating, no questions asked. I feel that it is in the best interest of the kids to keep their traditions the same as much as possible. They have always had Christmas with both families, and would miss that if it was taken away from them due to the father's selfishness...and yes, I believe he's being selfish with this request, as it would mean that the kids miss out on half their festivities every year. That is not in the kid's best interest. I am not trying to keep them for the whole holiday, or vacation. Technically, I have less time with them at Christmas than their father. He has almost double what I have. I do not complain about that, though, I want them to enjoy the traditions of both families.

 

[Zephyr]

So, in order for the 12 families to change the Christmas holiday for 1 of those families, each of those families now has to change the rest of the plans they have for the holiday (which, in many instances, involves yet other famlies)...

so your 12 famlies (+the 4 on his side) has now turned into probably over 50 families having to change their traditional celebrations to compensate for that 1 family. So, no, the kids are not the only ones inconvenienced by the schedule. Besides, had we stayed together, this is exactly the schedule they would have had. How is that inconveniencing them? Also, the NCP actually has to work some Christmas holidays...with only a 2 hour break (being a firefighter/paramedic). I grew up with a firefighter as a Dad, and yeah, once in a while, he had to work, so we only saw him for a couple of hours for dinner during his break.

It seems now that this is now getting out of hand with the Christmas holiday. I can see that alot of you want just alternating, no questions asked. I feel that it is in the best interest of the kids to keep their traditions the same as much as possible. They have always had Christmas with both families, and would miss that if it was taken away from them due to the father's selfishness...and yes, I believe he's being selfish with this request, as it would mean that the kids miss out on half their festivities every year. That is not in the kid's best interest. I am not trying to keep them for the whole holiday, or vacation. Technically, I have less time with them at Christmas than their father. He has almost double what I have. I do not complain about that, though, I want them to enjoy the traditions of both families.

but they wouldn't have to miss out on half the festivities, if the party was moved 24 hours one way or the other**************that is what you are refusing to understand, I really can't fathom why you think it is ok for the children to spend half of christmas day driving- that is ridiculous

 

[angeleyzad]

but they wouldn't have to miss out on half the festivities, if the party was moved 24 hours one way or the other**************that is what you are refusing to understand, I really can't fathom why you think it is ok for the children to spend half of christmas day driving- that is ridiculous

What he wants is to alternate every other year now, like the other holidays. So, one year, he would get to be at the parties with my family, not his, then the next year, he would be at his parties, but not my family. And, they would have spent 2 hours (not half the day) driving, wether we were together or not. Not every family lives next door to each other.

Besides, like I said, having 12 families change their plans, even 24 hours, for the holiday such as this, would mean...those 12 families move their Christmas day plans...those families they had planned with now has to move their plans...the people they had plans with have to move their plans....it just keeps going and going. Not logical, when the current schedule works for all families.

 

[eme76]

even if you altenated the kids are not "missing out" they are just doing one thing one time and the other the next

if your family (no matter how big) thinks it is that important they will make adjustments


i know that my family figured it out because it just wasnt gunna happen to get 5 or more court orders (for 5 diff. kids) to all be the same
we have christmas whenever we can figure out that most of the kids will be home...i say most because it ends up a rare thing for all to be home on the same weeknd