name change

[tinam0308]

What is the name of your state?illinois
Does a cp have to agree to have the child's name chaged to the ncp's last name? I know that he has the right to be added to the birth certificate, and I was agreeing to have her last name changed to his. however, he since has fallen behind in child support, and cancelled/changed some visits. I feel that when he can show that he is serious, and can take real responsiblility for his child, then I will agree to the last name change. Straight answers only please.

 

[stealth2]

If you don't agree, he has the right to take it to court. A judge may ro may not order the name change.

 

[tinam0308]

In the beginning of this, I agreed to have her name changed to his. The judge signed the agreement, and we had to do the paper work. The ncp messed up the paper work, and now we are going to court for the judge to handle the name change. However, I have since, talked to my daughter about this, she doesn't want her name changed, her name is all ready established. Plus, we would have change it with the school, doctor, dentist, social security, bank, insurance, etc. How do I over turn this? I am very nervous talking to the judge, I haven't been to court very much at all, and the whole thing, makes me feel like I am not standing up for my rights. I truley don't know what I can/cannot do. The ncp has not been involved in my daughter's life, only a few months. I encourage the visits, (over night), I encouraged her to call him "Dad." I just feel like I am being made to change my daughter whole life to what he wants it to be, when I am the one that never needed a court order to tell me I am a MOM. Please, anyone with some good advise. I really would like to not what I can do.

 

[stealth2]

You can simply explain to the judge what you have here. Your daughter's wishes will depend a great deal on her age. And then a judge will decide. S/he may be understanding or not.

 

[snostar]

Type out a clear list of reasons why you believe the name change will not be in your child's best interest, and the negative effects you believe it will have on your child. Having it stated in an orderly fashion and in your hand in court will make it easier to present to a judge.

 

[tinam0308]

Do I need to file a petition for Denial of name change, or may I object to the name change, at the time already set, for court? The ncp does not know yet, that I am objecting to this. Should I tell him before hand?

 

[critterperson]

What is the name of your state?illinois
Does a cp have to agree to have the child's name chaged to the ncp's last name? I know that he has the right to be added to the birth certificate, and I was agreeing to have her last name changed to his. however, he since has fallen behind in child support, and cancelled/changed some visits. I feel that when he can show that he is serious, and can take real responsiblility for his child, then I will agree to the last name change. Straight answers only please.

I am a CP in Illinois, This would depend on how old your child is...........My son was almost 2 years old when his (sperm donor) wanted his name added.........Since there were doctor bills, and records already in place alonge with a SS card and Bonds in his name (SD didn't pay a dime for anything)........It was up to me to allow the name change........No Thanks! I like my name better...

 

[tinam0308]

critterperson: I don't mind if he is added to the birth certificate, infact, I think he has the right to do that. But to completely change her name, she is eight years old, and she doesn't want her name changed. She told me she feels like her whole life is changing, and she doesn't like it. I am encouraging on all important asspects of this, visits, phone calls. thanks for your support!

 

[critterperson]

critterperson: I don't mind if he is added to the birth certificate, infact, I think he has the right to do that. But to completely change her name, she is eight years old, and she doesn't want her name changed. She told me she feels like her whole life is changing, and she doesn't like it. I am encouraging on all important asspects of this, visits, phone calls. thanks for your support!

In that case the name most likely won't change........BTW I do encourage my son to like his dad.............I am just having a I HATE HIM day Most of the time he and I actually get along................My ex is on the birth certificate as his father............My son just has my name...........

 

[critterperson]

In that case the name most likely won't change........BTW I do encourage my son to like his dad.............I am just having a I HATE HIM day Most of the time he and I actually get along................My ex is on the birth certificate as his father............My son just has my name...........

If you don't want to completely change her name...........You could also add his name as a second middle name, or an additional last name if you want......These were some of the options given to me...........It's been a couple of years, and at the time I didn't want any of it..........but you can choose these options also if you would like... to meet in the middle.......

 

[tinam0308]

thank you so much, you have been very helpful, and encouraging. BTW, we all have our days...good luck to you and your son.

 

[kmom23]

What is the name of your state?illinois
Does a cp have to agree to have the child's name chaged to the ncp's last name? I know that he has the right to be added to the birth certificate, and I was agreeing to have her last name changed to his. however, he since has fallen behind in child support, and cancelled/changed some visits. I feel that when he can show that he is serious, and can take real responsiblility for his child, then I will agree to the last name change. Straight answers only please.

As far as I know the mother does not have to agree to a name change. I know every state has a different law, but in CT the mother has the right to decide what last name the child gets. My ex through a fit when I gave my daughter my last name. The courts said that I am the only person with that choice to make. No one can make you change it.

 

[stealth2]

No one can make you change it.

A judge most certainly can.

 

[Ron1347]

I know that stealth2 certainly doesn't need 'my' backup support but, oh yes, stealth2 is correct in that [A judge most certainly can.]

 

[tinam0308]

Illinois.
As I stated before, I originally agreed to the name change, however, my daughter is 8 years old, and the name has been established through doctors, medical records, insurance, school, teachers, etc., etc. What, if any, factors can I use to over turn my decision to orginally have the name changed? The ncp has at least 3 times, cancelled and changed visitations through me, and can't seem to make up his mind when he can see her, or how she is going to get there. I have never denied the visits, but I don't see how a parent/child relationship can grow this way. My daughter has even stated to me, she does not want her name changed, but she says, "dad won't love me if I don't." And I feel with him changing/cancelling the visits is making her feel that even more. I tell her, it is not her fault, and we end up doing things to get her mind off of it. This is very hard, and confusing for both of us. You would think that after not seeing your daughter for 7 1/2 years, and then getting to see her with out any argument from the cp, and even being called "dad". would make a person happy. The way he acts, makes know since to me. He has only been in her life since Dec. 2004, this is not showing her that she can trust him, or rely on him for anything. I don't feel that he deserves to have her name changed at this point, it is all an ego trip on his part, and that isn't being concerned for your child.