NCP Visitation Rights/Tough Choices

[stealth2]

Your sig intrigues me - why are you desperate?

 

[ETG]

The mother should just tell her daughter to discuss the activity with her father and that she (the daughter) will have to abide by the father's decision. It is his decision. The mother is doing nothing in that scenario except allowing the father to make decisions and live with the consequence of his decision. Maybe his daughter will be upset---maybe not---but that is what parents have to deal with every day.

 

[casa]

Nor do I "Play UP" activities to my son--nor do I have my son "involved" in so many activities so as to "conflict" with fathers time. I'm dealing with a man that no matter what I do--he will want something different. He wanted to be involved in my son's scouts and then when the meetings took place on his weekends--he asked that they be changed. He wanted to be involved in my son's school activities and then when an event happened on his visitation weekend--he suggested that perhaps next time the activity could be changed. He wanted to be invited to recitals and communion and then declined to attend suggesting that perhaps these events could be scheduled to be held on the weekends of his visitation.

As I have stated--I would suggest that this man simply NOT turn a minor request from his daughter into a matter to be settled via litigation and accusations. No one wins here except the lawyers. He should simply COMMUNICATE WITH HIS DAUGHTER.

This thread is not about you- it's about the OP. Quit reading your obnoxious Xhusband's behavior into the OPs concern.

 

[casa]

The mother should just tell her daughter to discuss the activity with her father and that she (the daughter) will have to abide by the father's decision. It is his decision. The mother is doing nothing in that scenario except allowing the father to make decisions and live with the consequence of his decision. Maybe his daughter will be upset---maybe not---but that is what parents have to deal with every day.

I'm beginning to suspect your X may have cause to bring you into court for contempt on such a continual basis

You just suggested the mother 'set-up' the father to be the bad guy by allowing the child to plan and get her hopes up for an event, THEN tell her to talk to the father. It's the mother and father's job to talk to each OTHER if they are making plans on the other parents time. It's not fair or sane to put the child in the middle as you've suggested, pushing her to resolve the issue YOU allowed to be set up in the first place. It's also not fair for you to pit the child against the father knowing full well if he says no the child will be upset with him.

A parent should NOT make plans for child(ren) during the other parents time - PERIOD. If there are extracurricular activities the child wants to join, which will affect the other parents time, they should be discussed by the parents in ADVANCE so they both can make plans accordingly.

This is not rocket science~ This is common courtesy

 

[Rushia]

I'm beginning to suspect your X may have cause to bring you into court for contempt on such a continual basis

You just suggested the mother 'set-up' the father to be the bad guy by allowing the child to plan and get her hopes up for an event, THEN tell her to talk to the father. It's the mother and father's job to talk to each OTHER if they are making plans on the other parents time. It's not fair or sane to put the child in the middle as you've suggested, pushing her to resolve the issue YOU allowed to be set up in the first place. It's also not fair for you to pit the child against the father knowing full well if he says no the child will be upset with him.

A parent should NOT make plans for child(ren) during the other parents time - PERIOD. If there are extracurricular activities the child wants to join, which will affect the other parents time, they should be discussed by the parents in ADVANCE so they both can make plans accordingly.

This is not rocket science~ This is common courtesy

Exactly what I've been trying to tell her.

 

[casa]

Exactly what I've been trying to tell her.

Yeah, I tried this morning (a few pages back)...but she's not getting it. I suspect she doesn't WANT to 'get it' because then she'd have a harder time justifying her own behavior and what she's been putting her own child through all along.

 

[casa]

Your sig intrigues me - why are you desperate?

oh didn't you know? She's not desperate, she's PERFECT- as she's been typing in circles to explain to us!! And it's starting to grate on my nerves

 

[Rushia]

Yeah, I tried this morning (a few pages back)...but she's not getting it. I suspect she doesn't WANT to 'get it' because then she'd have a harder time justifying her own behavior and what she's been putting her own child through all along.

Yeah, I noticed that. What she's doing is digusting isn't it?

 

[Chelle0511]

Yeah, I noticed that. What she's doing is digusting isn't it?

~My question is ... how can she spend so much time on the net when her child is involved in so many activities??

 

[stealth2]

~My question is ... how can she spend so much time on the net when her child is involved in so many activities??

Uuuuh, I can answer that! Some of us are naturally well organized!

 

[Rushia]

Uuuuh, I can answer that! Some of us are naturally well organized!

Teach me how to do that!!!!!

 

[Chelle0511]

Teach me how to do that!!!!!

Me too, one child which is too young for extra curricular activities, a full time job, a house and a dog are a hand full around here!

 

[Rushia]

Me too, one child which is too young for extra curricular activities, a full time job, a house and a dog are a hand full around here!

Same thing here, 2 kids, one just starting this stuff, one too young, hubby, full time job, apt and a dog. Help us stealth?

 

[stealth2]

LOL and give away my secrets?!?!?!

 

[Rushia]

LOL and give away my secrets?!?!?!

Aww nuts, it was worth a shot. That's what my mom tells me too, and she had four of us!