Need advice on ex-husband & kids!

[jkanttila]

What is the name of your state? Colorado

I have been divorced for 2-1/2 years. My ex and I share joint custody of our two daughters, 16 and 13. The divorce was my idea, so my ex has made my life a living hell for the past few years. I consider it harrassment and emotional/verbal abuse. It's one thing after another....I could go on and on....I hope you believe that this is the truth and I am not exaggerating! (I'm sure some people do).

This seems like such a trivial issue....but it's fast becoming a huge one. About 18 months ago, I got my daughters cell phones. They are on my account and I pay for them totally as my ex-husband did not want them to have phones and did not want to help pay for them. For awhile he let them bring their phones over to his house, until he re-married. His new wife disapproved of cell phones and now my daughters cannot bring them over. When I want to talk with them, I have to go through their father and his wife.

My oldest daughter began bringing over her cell phone secretly. I did know about it, and frankly I did not care. I want her to have that security of being able to get ahold of someone - she is 16 and involved in many things. The reason I got them cell phones is not as a luxury (I live on a teacher's salary - no more maintenance), but for peace of mind - mine and theirs. Last week, my youngest daughter, 13, snuck her phone over, and this time I did not know about it. My ex found out and has confiscated the phones. I consider this a theft of property, as I paid approximately $100 for each phone. I have stopped payment on an expense check I owe him, and will write a new one for $200 less. I sent him an e-mail about this and have not heard back.

So my question is, what legal recourse do I have for:
* Getting the phones back
* Allowing my daughters to have their phones over at his house so I can contact them?

For that matter, what legal recourse do I have to stop his emotional/verbal abuse of me?

Thank you.

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

Your entitled to the phones back, but if he does not allow them in his house you need to not send them. It's stupid I know, but thats the gist of it.

Call the police and see what they can do to help you get them back. Don't charge him with anything, that will only fuel the fire and your kids will know.

The verbal abuse? Not much you can do except hang up, walk away and forget him.

 

[huntersmommy06]

If there is a clause in your parenting plan that allows unimpeded and unmonitored phone calls, your children should be allowed to call you at any time, should they need you, from a land line phone.

 

[bradybunchmom]

tell stepmom to butt out

tell the stepmother that its not up to her to decide wether YOUR daughters can bring the phones to their fathers house-shes not their parent.also make it clear to her that you will only talk to the father,not her,about the girls.YOUR daughters are no damm concern of HERS.sometimes you have to put meddling stepparents in their place.

 

[stealth2]

Kelly, sweetheart - Dad is the one who confiscated the phones. Not the g/f. Try to stay with the plot.

jkanttila - Dad is well within his rights to refuse their use of cell phones while he has custody of the kids, and if it takes confiscating them to make them comply - he can do so. If you don't like it - take it to court. You cannot deduct the cost of cell phones from money you otherwise owe him.

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

tell the stepmother that its not up to her to decide wether YOUR daughters can bring the phones to their fathers house-shes not their parent.also make it clear to her that you will only talk to the father,not her,about the girls.YOUR daughters are no damm concern of HERS.sometimes you have to put meddling stepparents in their place.

Hold Up, She's asking a question about the phones being allowed and taken from the Dad. This is her house also, and they combined rule that nest just as she rules her's.

If they don't allow the cells, then they simply don't.

Your way off base with your post.

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

Stealth,

You said that so much nicer. Pass me the nice pink pill.

 

[stealth2]

Heh. Someone said I was nicer. That was sweet. The one time someone talked me into posting an online profile, I was totally honest. Said what was important to me, what I was looking for, etc. My best response? "Well, you sound like a bitch, but I guess I'd give you a try." I'm not known for "nice".

 

[bradybunchmom]

im a stepmom too and i dont butt in where it doesnt concern ne

why does she have to go thru his new wife to talk to HER daughters? if i pulled that crap my stepkids mom would have a hissy fit.i know better then to interfere where matthew and sammy are concerned,and the stepmom should not interfere either.if she needs to talk to the father about the girls,its no damm business of the stepmom's,PERIOD.i dont care if it is her house,she is NOT their mother.

 

[stealth2]

Kelly - would you like a nice pink pill?

 

[FLFamof5]

I couldn't resist.

tell the stepmother that its not up to her to decide wether YOUR daughters can bring the phones to their fathers house-shes not their parent.

True... SM is not their biological parent but she is a parental figure in that house and does deserve some respect. You being a SM from your post you should understand that. This is just not their "father's house" but SM's house as well and in any house there are rules.

also make it clear to her that you will only talk to the father,not her,about the girls.YOUR daughters are no damm concern of HERS.sometimes you have to put meddling stepparents in their place

I didn't really see in the post where she had a problem with SM. She just mentioned that SM didn't approve of them bringing the cell phones. Although very trivial... if that is their rules then they have to abide by them.


As far as the phones being returned... if the advice of the other posters of contacting the police etc doesn't work then your only other alternative is to possibly take Ex to small claims court.

 

[bradybunchmom]

whos kelly?

who the hell is kelly? my name is donna

 

[stealth2]

Yeah yeah yeah. If it sounds like a kelly and it talks like a kelly and it quacks like a kelly..... But okay - we'll just keep calling you bbm. You're giving a lot of incorrect info. So stop it.

 

[ENASNI]

Uh Oh!

Kelly - would you like a nice pink pill?

I would like a nice pink pill.

Is it Kelly? She is using names the comma thing.. Same M.O. God save me.

jkantilla... sounds like you have to make some nice talky talk with your ex if you can... If not... Go back to court... I know I know... you don't like it there.
But as huntersmommy said if you do not have a clause about unimpeded or unmonitered phone calls in your papers... sounds like you need one.

About getting your property back... Paradise also had a good suggestion, but maybe just the suggestion of calling the authorities might get your property back...? I don't know...
Good luck..

 

[jkanttila]

I didn't really see in the post where she had a problem with SM. She just mentioned that SM didn't approve of them bringing the cell phones. Although very trivial... if that is their rules then they have to abide by them.


As far as the phones being returned... if the advice of the other posters of contacting the police etc doesn't work then your only other alternative is to possibly take Ex to small claims court.[/QUOTE]

This is Jan - the one who orignally wrote the post. Yes, I will abide by their rules - stupid as they may be. I just want the phones back or my $200. He has stolen my property. I went ahead and stopped payment on expense money I owed him - sent him an e-mail about it and all he sent back was an e-mail saying he was not going to return the phones. I am considering small claims court - has anyone had experience with that?