Need advice on ex-husband & kids!

[ENASNI]

Are you sure.

who the hell is kelly? my name is donna

Are you sure it is not Samantha?

https://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?t=218347&highlight=adoption

Sorry Jkanttila... really just a obsessive sideline I have... I will take pink pill and shut up and let you get help... sorry

 

[ENASNI]

er... small claims court

This is Jan - the one who orignally wrote the post. Yes, I will abide by their rules - stupid as they may be. I just want the phones back or my $200. He has stolen my property. I went ahead and stopped payment on expense money I owed him - sent him an e-mail about it and all he sent back was an e-mail saying he was not going to return the phones. I am considering small claims court - has anyone had experience with that? [/QUOTE]


Hi Jan... small claims court... trying it out for the first time in California with a landlord... let me try to Google some information up for you.

Good luck

 

[ENASNI]

info

Some links

http://www.consumeraffairs.com/consumerism/small_co.html
http://www.courts.state.co.us/chs/court/forms/smallclaims/smallclaims.html

Good luck Jan... I am sure you could have done this, you seem real bright... Gut I love to google and I felt bad for bringing my errg....little.... erg... pet peeve onto your.... ergggg.. thread... really sorry... gonna have to have a donut to punish myself... if you think I am being facetious.... I am not... donuts do weird things to me.

Really good luck and post back if you get your phones.
I have a 16 year old myself and she lost her phone and suffered withdrawal pains till we got it back... watch out for those too.. Starts with the pimples then... mood swings... GOOD LUCK!
Okay CSI is on...got to further my education. See ya in the funny papers.

Addendum: CSI is NOT on! stupid March Madness.... (my team is already out )
Tis Okay.. Miss Congeniality is on and I need some lessons...

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

This is Jan - the one who orignally wrote the post. Yes, I will abide by their rules - stupid as they may be. I just want the phones back or my $200. He has stolen my property. I went ahead and stopped payment on expense money I owed him - sent him an e-mail about it and all he sent back was an e-mail saying he was not going to return the phones. I am considering small claims court - has anyone had experience with that?

Hi Jan... small claims court... trying it out for the first time in California with a landlord... let me try to Google some information up for you.

Good luck [/QUOTE]


OK, I'm missing something as I didn't see this post of hers.

None the less, why small claims? Got your receipt for the phones? Report them stolen and who stole them, keep your email of him refusing to give them back..

He cannot keep your property, and it may just take a officer knocking on his door to give them back. Since he is refusing to give them back you need to file a police report, just try not to let the kids know.

Blue pills for the ladies.

And who is Kelly Donna Samantha? Do I even want to know?

 

[ENASNI]

Oh Paradise you don't want to catch my disease!!!

Hi Jan... small claims court... trying it out for the first time in California with a landlord... let me try to Google some information up for you.

Good luck

OK, I'm missing something as I didn't see this post of hers.

None the less, why small claims? Got your receipt for the phones? Report them stolen and who stole them, keep your email of him refusing to give them back..

He cannot keep your property, and it may just take a officer knocking on his door to give them back. Since he is refusing to give them back you need to file a police report, just try not to let the kids know.

Blue pills for the ladies.

And who is Kelly Donna Samantha? Do I even want to know?[/QUOTE]


No you don't want to know but... here.... if you must.
I am obsessed...
I am like Doc Rmet on a quest to get someone to back down on this one... it ain't pretty.
This is Kelly's last post but I think it has most of the links to her other threads
good luck...https://forum.freeadvice.com/member.php?u=155275
I am gonna try to go back to the Sandra Bullock movie but that hot guy.. whats his name (like I can forget it it) Benjamin Bratt... is giving me hot flashes before my time

Cheers to ye on this St Patricks Day... Good ta know ye are home and off da streets... me poor roommate tis bartendin' I worries... as a mom and a friend..


Addendum... oops sorry thats her profile... but you know what to do from there... but Warning... do not open package

 

[Silverplum]

You're going to spend $500, last I read (Aug.2004), to bring the case to small claims court in CO.

Pick your battles.

 

[ENASNI]

plum?

You're going to spend $500, last I read (Aug.2004), to bring the case to small claims court in CO.

Pick your battles.

Where did you read that? Its only $25.00 to file and if she can get her ex to accept a CRRR... she won't have to pay a service fee?

I wouldn't want to lead her in the wrong direction...so please correct me if I am wrong... but I think its more time than money that is going to be spent?

 

[Silverplum]

"Once you have completed the form, take it to the courthouse and give it to the clerk of the small claims court — this is called “filing.” When you file the complaint, you will have to pay a filing fee. The fee that you will have to pay depends on the amount of your claim. The court clerk can tell you how much to pay for the filing fee."
http://www.courts.state.co.us/exec/pubed/brochures/smallclaimsweb.pdf

Ah, that's what I get for ass-u-ming about the fees. The last time I checked in CO...for what **I** wanted to sue for in small claims court...the fees totalled approximately $500. My claim was for more than the OP, therefore the OP may pay less for small claims court filing fees.

On the other hand, the OP and her daughters would do well to accept that dad's house be dad's house...with his rules. Whether the SM is making everyone happy or not, that's her house and her rules along w/dad.

If something is contraband, it's going to be confiscated. At school, the airport, wherever. Accept it and move on. Learn to, ya know...OBEY! Even if you don't agree. That's called LIFE.

 

[jkanttila]

Stupid Cell Phone Issue Update

Thanks to everyone for your replies and advice on the stupid cell phone issue. Here's the latest word from the ex and my options:

* I stopped payment on an expense check I owe him for $488.11. I am reissuing him a check for $288.11 - $200 less to reimburse me for the cell phones.
* He says that "Keeping the money from expenses is a violation of our separation agreement and a contempitble offense in the eyes of the court." And until I reissue him the check in full - he will not reimburse me for any of the girls' expenses - school, sports, dance, orthodontics, etc.
* I had insurance on the cell phones and I reported them stolen to Cingular. They are sending me new ones - not that I have told him that.

My options:
* Pay a $25 filing fee for Small Claims Court
* Hire an attorney - not just for this cell phone issue - but for all the harrassment issues I have to put up with him (although I cannot afford an attorney - I would have to do a 401K loan)
* Pay him the full amount for expenses, and make sure the girls NEVER bring their cell phones over to his house again.
* Just hold out for the $200 until he returns the phones.
* Call the police to get them back (although the prospect of his reaction is rather frightening, frankly)

I hate this! I am good mother and cannot see why he has to make our lives so difficult - both for me and our daughters!

Jan

 

[Silverplum]

(snip)
* I stopped payment on an expense check I owe him for $488.11. I am reissuing him a check for $288.11 - $200 less to reimburse me for the cell phones.
* He says that "Keeping the money from expenses is a violation of our separation agreement and a contempitble offense in the eyes of the court."

He's right. You don't take money out of court-ordered payments to even up your perceived wrongs.

And until I reissue him the check in full - he will not reimburse me for any of the girls' expenses - school, sports, dance, orthodontics, etc.

And why should he? He's treating you like you treat him. Don't complain at that if you aren't innocent. Is the reimbursement of extras court-ordered?
* I had insurance on the cell phones and I reported them stolen to Cingular. They are sending me new ones - not that I have told him that.

This is a "pigwoman" thing to do. Wrong, wrong, wrong. Theft. If you disagree, call Cingular and tell them the real truth. Also, tell your X the real truth. Don't want to? Then you know you are wrong.(snip)
I hate this! I am good mother and cannot see why he has to make our lives so difficult - both for me and our daughters! Jan

Uh...your daughters could learn to obey house rules and they wouldn't get their stuff confiscated. He's not making your life difficult...you are and your daughters are, because you are not obeying his house rules. How would you like it if he helped them to disobey one of your rules??

 

[Jillian483]

Uh...your daughters could learn to obey house rules and they wouldn't get their stuff confiscated. He's not making your life difficult...you are and your daughters are, because you are not obeying his house rules. How would you like it if he helped them to disobey one of your rules??

What happens if the father is not well off and the children want the phones to communicate with their friends while they are at their dads house. I don't think that it is too unreasonable to allow the phones in the house. Are they really hurting anybody?

 

[jkanttila]

Response to Silverplum

Unfortunately, you don't know this man (my ex-husband). If you had put up with him for the last three years since separating from him, your response would be different. If you had also been married to him for 18 years, your repsonse would be different. I make no apologies for how I am handling this matter as he makes none for the way he treats me and has treated me. He is a man who thinks nothing he does is wrong. Everything he does is right, he is the world's best father. According to him, everything I do is wrong - EVERYTHING. I am not to be trusted, treated decently, nothing.

This is ironic considering that during our marriage, I felt like a single parent. Even though I had a full time job teaching, I took care of the girls while they were young. Got them up, got them ready, got them to school, picked them up, got them to activities, fixed them dinner, got them baths, helped with homework and got them to bed. Then I could begin MY work. About then he would come home from work. He regularly worked 10-14 hour days because he has adult ADD and couldn't pull himself away from his computer. Then he would often log on at home an literally work all night or all weekend. He paid no attention to what was going on around him. Yet he thinks he was a good husband and father. He cannot understand why I wanted out of the marriage. He will hate me forever and keep treating me like this while raising our kids.

By the way, I had to accept only two years' maintenance from him. He said I did not deserve anymore. I could not afford to go to court; I already had $12,000 in lawyer fees. Now I have to have two jobs, and just last week he complained about me working two jobs, saying our daughters are not getting enough supervison. They are 16 and 13 and I teach one or two nights a week at a university and am home by 10 p.m.

So before commenting, Silverplum, try walking a mile in my shoes.

 

[jkanttila]

What happens if the father is not well off and the children want the phones to communicate with their friends while they are at their dads house. I don't think that it is too unreasonable to allow the phones in the house. Are they really hurting anybody?

Bingo! It is unreasonable. And it's not the friends they communicate with that it's important - it's being able to get ahold of a parent when they need to. I want to be able to talk with them without having to call the house and ask their father or step-mother to talk to them. I feel weird doing that. When my daughters are not with me, I want them to be able to easily get in touch with me, via cell phone or text messaging, anytime of the day and night. I have a great relationship with my daughters and want that continue when they are with their Dad. I don't ever stop being their mother just because they are with them. What is wrong with this?

By the way, they can't wait until they are 18 and don't have to live with he and his wife.

 

[Jillian483]

Kelly, sweetheart - Dad is the one who confiscated the phones. Not the g/f. Try to stay with the plot.

jkanttila - Dad is well within his rights to refuse their use of cell phones while he has custody of the kids, and if it takes confiscating them to make them comply - he can do so. If you don't like it - take it to court. You cannot deduct the cost of cell phones from money you otherwise owe him.

He has now stolen something that belongs to the mom. Even if he does not allow them in his house, the mom does allow them in hers. He should have taken them away for the weekend (if it was that big of a deal) and returned them with the kids when they went back to moms. Even though he has rule in his house he does not in moms.

 

[Jillian483]

Furthermore

The mother has the right to contact her child when they are at their fathers house and if she does not want him to have to front the cost of the contact then the cell phone would allieviate this inconvience from him. She is in fact doing him a favor.