Need advice on ex-husband & kids!

[Silverplum]

Yes both parents rule should be respected in their own homes but the phones need to be returned. I don't see the point he would even make by keeping them.

You don't need to see his point. Neither does the OP.

It's his house, his rules. OP helped the kids get around his rules. Punishment ensued. Fraud occurred. Contempt of court orders happened.

 

[Jillian483]

I really think that Silverplum must either be my ex-husband or related to him; based on all of his replies to me and everyone else, that's the only conclusion.

I think silverplum is a girl.

 

[Jillian483]

You don't need to see his point. Neither does the OP.

It's his house, his rules. OP helped the kids get around his rules. Punishment ensued. Fraud occurred. Contempt of court orders happened.

No I mean what WOULD be the point? All it is going to do is cause his kids to be pissed at him when all he has to do is give the phones back to mom. So now he doesn't have the kids on the phone but they won;t talk to him anyway because they are pissed at him. But, hey, if he doesn't mind.....

 

[jkanttila]

Kindergartners

"A judge is going to have a field day with the way the two of you are acting like kindergartners."

Dear Stealth2,

I completely agree with you. This is stupid. Insane. Idiotic. Immature. Juvenile. Three years ago when I told my ex that I wanted a divorce, I never wanted this. I truly didn't. I wanted to have a civilized, mature divorce where we would both still raise our kids together. I should not have been so naive. Since our raising and discipline of our daughters was one of the reasons I wanted to leave him, I should have known that it would turn into a big ugly mess. By the way, I wish you could tell him that he is acting like a kindergartner. He would be mortally offended and angry and unreasonable. And he would deny it totally. You see, he does nothing wrong...ever.

Sincerely,
Jan

 

[stealth2]

And while you may think I don't understand - I was married to his twin. I know exactly what it's like. Disengaging is the only way.

 

[Chevy156]

This EX-HUSBAND AND WIFE are CONTROL FREAKS

There is no reason why your girls cannot have cell phones. They are 16 and 13 years old and have every GOD giving right to contact you whenever they want. I think that this ex-husband and wife are insecure and both of them need to seek out some serious counciling. I also have the same problem with an EX thank GOD I never married him!!!! Good luck!!! Don't let him BULLY your kids or you!!!!!

 

[mrsbrown]

There is no reason why your girls cannot have cell phones. They are 16 and 13 years old and have every GOD giving right to contact you whenever they want. I think that this ex-husband and wife are insecure and both of them need to seek out some serious counciling. I also have the same problem with an EX thank GOD I never married him!!!! Good luck!!! Don't let him BULLY your kids or you!!!!!

Well, God given rights aren't what is legal. Yes, they are 16 and 13 and like said before they could use the house phone to call. I don't think the EH and SM are the insecure ones. I think that they have something against cellphones and like most teenagers these days the kids can't imagine life without one. The court isn't going to insist the kids carry a cell phone..it is a luxury. And unfortunately at the BF house it is a no no. End of story.

 

[LdiJ]

Well, God given rights aren't what is legal. Yes, they are 16 and 13 and like said before they could use the house phone to call. I don't think the EH and SM are the insecure ones. I think that they have something against cellphones and like most teenagers these days the kids can't imagine life without one. The court isn't going to insist the kids carry a cell phone..it is a luxury. And unfortunately at the BF house it is a no no. End of story.

Actually msrbrown...if the judge determines that the cell phones are the only real means of contact between the mom and the kids (free, unrestricted contact) a judge might very well order dad to allow them to have the cell phones. Some judges might even find it ridiculous that that dad and stepmom would prohibit the cell phones.....and just about EVERY judge would get nasty about dad not returning the phones to mom since they are mom's property.

The reality of the situation is that cell phones are an everyday fact of life in today's world. A huge number of parents provide cell phones to their teenagers for many reasons...not the less safety and a guarantee that the parents can always reach the child. My daughter has had one since she was 12 and she knows that it is a "grounding" offense if either her father or I cannot call it at ANY time and get an answer (she is 17 now).

I can think of at least a half a dozen situations in the last 5 years where I was darned glad that my daughter had her phone...and the last one was just two weeks ago when she got a flat tire out in the "boonies".

Any parent who is opposed to cell phones for teens has never dealt with a communication emergency....and would think things very differently if they ever had.

Ever heard the words "mom/dad I am scared, come and get me"? I have...and I was darned glad that cell phone existed.

 

[Jillian483]

Actually msrbrown...if the judge determines that the cell phones are the only real means of contact between the mom and the kids (free, unrestricted contact) a judge might very well order dad to allow them to have the cell phones. Some judges might even find it ridiculous that that dad and stepmom would prohibit the cell phones.....and just about EVERY judge would get nasty about dad not returning the phones to mom since they are mom's property.

The reality of the situation is that cell phones are an everyday fact of life in today's world. A huge number of parents provide cell phones to their teenagers for many reasons...not the less safety and a guarantee that the parents can always reach the child. My daughter has had one since she was 12 and she knows that it is a "grounding" offense if either her father or I cannot call it at ANY time and get an answer (she is 17 now).

I can think of at least a half a dozen situations in the last 5 years where I was darned glad that my daughter had her phone...and the last one was just two weeks ago when she got a flat tire out in the "boonies".

Any parent who is opposed to cell phones for teens has never dealt with a communication emergency....and would think things very differently if they ever had.

Ever heard the words "mom/dad I am scared, come and get me"? I have...and I was darned glad that cell phone existed.

Wait where are your sources for this information???? I wouldn't want someone just to take your advice and not consult a lawyer and ruin their whole life. I will be checking this post every half hour and I expect you to provide your sources missy.

 

[stealth2]

Wait where are your sources for this information???? I wouldn't want someone just to take your advice and not consult a lawyer and ruin their whole life. I will be checking this post every half hour and I expect you to provide your sources missy.

Go to bed, Jillian.

 

[Jillian483]

Go to bed, Jillian.

Oh are you and plum the only two that are allowed to do that? Oh sorry I didn't know. From now on I will make sure that all of my posts are very serious all of the time so as to not cause any confusion.

 

[FLFamof5]

House Rules!

Plain and simple... these are the house rules (no cell phones). There is a landline to be able to make phone calls from (although not as trendy, it does still work).

Unless she wants to take it back to court and spend more money fighting the issue of cell phones then cell phones stay home or get taken away again.

As petty as it all is.. you are getting new phones.. let it die, tell the girls not to bring cells with them, and pay the man his money so he doesn't file a contempt charge against you.

 

[mrsbrown]

Actually msrbrown...if the judge determines that the cell phones are the only real means of contact between the mom and the kids (free, unrestricted contact) a judge might very well order dad to allow them to have the cell phones. Some judges might even find it ridiculous that that dad and stepmom would prohibit the cell phones.....and just about EVERY judge would get nasty about dad not returning the phones to mom since they are mom's property.

The reality of the situation is that cell phones are an everyday fact of life in today's world. A huge number of parents provide cell phones to their teenagers for many reasons...not the less safety and a guarantee that the parents can always reach the child. My daughter has had one since she was 12 and she knows that it is a "grounding" offense if either her father or I cannot call it at ANY time and get an answer (she is 17 now).

I can think of at least a half a dozen situations in the last 5 years where I was darned glad that my daughter had her phone...and the last one was just two weeks ago when she got a flat tire out in the "boonies".

Any parent who is opposed to cell phones for teens has never dealt with a communication emergency....and would think things very differently if they ever had.

Ever heard the words "mom/dad I am scared, come and get me"? I have...and I was darned glad that cell phone existed.

Yes, the judge might determine that but it hasn't been done yet. I understand that cell phones are popular and personally I wouldn't object either way. This isn't a matter of carrying the phones all the time it is a matter of sneaking them to the BF's house. If there was a emergency then I would hope that the BF or SM would be able to handle it. I just think it still comes down to the fact the BF didn't want the phones in his house. Yes, they still need to be returned and I do think that it needs to be reported as stolen or something because it isn't fair that he thinks he can just hold your property hostage. The fair thing would have been to return the phones and the BM make sure they don't go to the house again. There is a secure phone line to use but the BM feels uncomfortable calling it....that isn't the BF or SM's fault.

 

[jkanttila]

Now the Cell Phone BF is saying (via e-mail) he won't pay for orthodontics for my youngest daughter as it's "a discretionary expense." This is in response to me not giving him my latest expense check for $488.11 until he returns the cell phones or reimburses me $200. She has been wearing headgear for over a year and is about to get braces. She needs her jaw re-aligned and may need surgery down the road. I am going through all my paperwork from the ortho and saving the Ex's e-mail about not paying. In addition, our oldest is smack dab in her third phase of orthodontics - I guess he can't refuse to pay for that as it is medically necessary - she was born with a cleft lip and palate. The oldest is about to get 100 cavities filled - dental insurance won't cover it all - the Ex has not yet refused to help pay that.

I have to go ahead and start her treatment - I guess I will just set up a payment plan and pay for now - but this can't go on - I may need to seek legal action.

What do you all think?

Cell Phone BM (Jan)

 

[stealth2]

I think you both need to de-escalate this. The only ones who are going to get hurt by the juvenile behavior are the kids.