Need help and advice on what to do!

[CJane]

Pearl? I don't 100% disbelieve your story.

I totally believe that Dad's a big fat jerk face.

I totally believe that he's been underhanded in his attempts to get custody of the child.

I believe you that he's behaving inappropriately in making a huge deal about race when it comes to a biracial child.

HOWEVER.

YOU need to take an impartial look at your behavior.

You have NOT provided stability housing-wise for the child.

You have serious medical issues that you've been unmedicated for and you can't tell me that hasn't affected your ability to parent your child appropriately OR coparent effectively.

You've been recently hospitalized and thought you might die, and yet you posted here wondering how to prevent your ex from retrieving HIS child.

You really need to figure out what you gain by all of this drama - because you wouldn't be engaging in it if it wasn't doing SOMETHING for you. Your child is with Dad right now. She's in school. Yes, she WANTS to come home and I know you WANT her home. But what does she NEED right now? What do YOU NEED right now?

Legally? You can go get the child and send her to school on Monday like nothing ever happened. Call the police and have them meet you at the school and raise holy hell until they turn your child over to you. Get that restraining order against Dad to prevent him from absconding with the child again. Keep on engaging in the cycle of insanity.

But personally? You've got to stop the craziness. Stay on your meds. Get therapy. Maybe move to be near your work and near Ex's house - even if it means a longer commute for you. Make Dad's time w/ the kid easier... even if HE is the one who moved and HE is the one being an *******.

You'll all be better for it.

 

[penelope10]

Pearl? I don't 100% disbelieve your story.

I totally believe that Dad's a big fat jerk face.

I totally believe that he's been underhanded in his attempts to get custody of the child.

I believe you that he's behaving inappropriately in making a huge deal about race when it comes to a biracial child.

HOWEVER.

YOU need to take an impartial look at your behavior.

You have NOT provided stability housing-wise for the child.

You have serious medical issues that you've been unmedicated for and you can't tell me that hasn't affected your ability to parent your child appropriately OR coparent effectively.

You've been recently hospitalized and thought you might die, and yet you posted here wondering how to prevent your ex from retrieving HIS child.

You really need to figure out what you gain by all of this drama - because you wouldn't be engaging in it if it wasn't doing SOMETHING for you. Your child is with Dad right now. She's in school. Yes, she WANTS to come home and I know you WANT her home. But what does she NEED right now? What do YOU NEED right now?

Legally? You can go get the child and send her to school on Monday like nothing ever happened. Call the police and have them meet you at the school and raise holy hell until they turn your child over to you. Get that restraining order against Dad to prevent him from absconding with the child again. Keep on engaging in the cycle of insanity.

But personally? You've got to stop the craziness. Stay on your meds. Get therapy. Maybe move to be near your work and near Ex's house - even if it means a longer commute for you. Make Dad's time w/ the kid easier... even if HE is the one who moved and HE is the one being an *******.

You'll all be better for it.

I totally agree with CJ on this one. I've had some health related issues recently myself. OZ and I don't get along, but I kept him appraised of what was going on. And if something should ever happen to me, that's where Lil Bit should be---with her Daddy. Dad did the right thing this time by stepping in and taking care of his/your child. Even if Dad is a complete doo-doo head he did the right thing in this instance IMO.

 

[Pearl72]

Ok, I understand where a lot of you are coming from, and i am hoping that i can get some clarification from those of you that have helped me in the past.

I just received papers yesterday from my ex for Fourthwith Custody (that is what is says on the papers) I think it is supposed to say Forthwith - Anyways, He did allow me to see my daughter wednesday for 3 1/2 hours supervised by his children since he was at work. And he is allowing me to have her for the weekend as i had inadvertantly found out he was leaving the state for 4 days. I had requested that I please have our daughter, and he said that was fine if i returned her by 7pm on Sunday. I agreed to do so.

My question is this, i looked up what forthwith custody is, and it stated that by filing this motion, the other's parenting time is automatically required to be supervised for a seven day period, during which the court must hold a "forthwith" hearing and rule on the motion to restrict parenting. He must feel that our daughter is in imminent physical or emotional danger due to me seeing her. He filed this 4 days ago, and i rec'd the paperwork yesterday. I am supposed to go pick up our daughter today here in a few hours. Does this mean that I won't get my daughter for the weekend? Should i still go pick her up? Please help me on this matter... Thanks

 

[CJane]

My question is this, i looked up what forthwith custody is, and it stated that by filing this motion, the other's parenting time is automatically required to be supervised for a seven day period, during which the court must hold a "forthwith" hearing and rule on the motion to restrict parenting. He must feel that our daughter is in imminent physical or emotional danger due to me seeing her. He filed this 4 days ago, and i rec'd the paperwork yesterday. I am supposed to go pick up our daughter today here in a few hours. Does this mean that I won't get my daughter for the weekend? Should i still go pick her up? Please help me on this matter... Thanks

Pearl, you absolutely NEED to get an attorney involved.

Also...

1) were you SERVED w/a motion for 'forthwith custody' or did your ex hand you a pile of papers?

2) Is there a court/hearing date included in the 'motion'?

3) Is the 'motion' file stamped by the court?

*********

Answer those questions and then go pick up your daughter as agreed. DO NOT discuss ANYTHING AT ALL w/your ex. NOTHING. Don't ask him a single question about what you received. Don't do ANYTHING except pick up your daughter and agree to whatever he asks you to agree to.

 

[stealth2]

I'm not buying this whole thing, either. 10/23, Pearl tells us:

I have been in the hospital for a little while, and recuperating - and will be in here for another month or so until I am able to go home.

10/29, that "month or so" has morphed into, apparently, less than a week.

I have just gotten out of the hospital - My daughter has been with her dad for about a week at this point.

Bull and ****. Sorry.

Pearl - get a lawyer. And quit playing games with your kid, your ex, and us.

 

[profmum]

You don't go from thinking you're at the point of death due to illness/ med reaction/ whatever to bouncing back and being great within a period of a few weeks. It just doesn't happen.

Ditto, if she really had a severe allergic reaction to a Rx that was life threatning either she is dead or was rushed to the hospital and DID NOT have time to post here. Pearl you have really destroyed your credibility here. Stop whining and playing the victim and focus on coparenting.

 

[profmum]

Ld, I know Pearl's posting history by now. I made that mistake once with her already. You know, and I know, the truth here.

Do let me know when YOU move to COLORADO, Ld, and start gaining experience in COLORADO Courts. It'll be fun to discuss. Then.


.

Having had extensive experience now with the CO courts in 2.5 years, I can tell you represent what any court in the country should.. fair, unbiased and focus on the best interest of the child. This aftet 11 motions from Xfiles in a 20 month period, ruled on by 4 different judges. So that is all the "experience" one needs to know about CO courts.. ie that they are fair!! Sorry no great edge here SP!

 

[ErinGoBragh]

I'm not buying this whole thing, either. 10/23, Pearl tells us:



10/29, that "month or so" has morphed into, apparently, less than a week.



Bull and ****. Sorry.

Pearl - get a lawyer. And quit playing games with your kid, your ex, and us.

Guarantee you she posts that she just recuperated at abnormal speeds.

 

[Ohiogal]

I'm not buying this whole thing, either. 10/23, Pearl tells us:



10/29, that "month or so" has morphed into, apparently, less than a week.



Bull and ****. Sorry.

Pearl - get a lawyer. And quit playing games with your kid, your ex, and us.

HOw many hospitals do you know that provide internet access for the patients?

 

[ariastar]

What I'm gathering is that Mom and Dad live an hour apart, no major drama directly between them. Mom had a severe allergic reaction, and it was unknown for a period whether or not she would recover. Grandma took the child to ensure she stayed in her current school. Dad lives an hour away, and if he were to take temporary custody, would likely try to switch schools to one more local to where he is. A judge MIGHT see Grandma taking temp. custody as best for the child to keep her in her school, or a judge MIGHT see Dad having custody as being best for the child, even if it means changing schools.

Now it was unknown if mom would get better, so any solution on the interim would be temporary until she got better or died. She's getting better now, and medication reactions are usually one-time deals, not medical conditions likely to reoccur.

What happened, in a nutshell, was Mom had a severe reaction and was hospitalized, and Grandma had the child for several weeks while Mom's fate was unknown before Dad took her. Dad tried to enroll her in school and the school refused because he wasn't CP. There was an emergency hearing set and he didn't show. Now Mom is doing better than expected and wants the child back. Did I get this right?

Pearl, you need to get this before a judge. That's all there is to it. You can banter all day with people online and get nothing done, or you can get a court date set ASAP to enforce the last order.

Also you need to keep times straight. One day you are a month away from release, and you're out six days later with no explanation. Now I'm not going to call you a liar on that (I spent my 21st birthday in surgery, December 8 some years back, and they expected me to be in the hospital until at last February, but I was released before Christmas, so know it can happen), but you need to specifically tell us if you were released earlier than expected, otherwise it will sound fishy.

 

[TheGeekess]

What I'm gathering is that Mom and Dad live an hour apart, no major drama directly between them.

Plenty of major drama.

 

[mommabearx1]

This ARISTAR person

Is going through every thread on here and posting she didn't read any prior posts

 

[CourtClerk]

Is going through every thread on here and posting she didn't read any prior posts

As she always does....

 

[ErinGoBragh]

HOw many hospitals do you know that provide internet access for the patients?

I know of a few that have wireless on certain floors, if you have your own laptop. But that still leaves this:

I have just gotten out of the hospital - My daughter has been with her dad for about a week at this point.

 

[CJane]

HOw many hospitals do you know that provide internet access for the patients?

The hospital where I had Twain, the hospital where I had gall bladder surgery and the hospital where my SDad had his transplant. As long as you're not in the ICU, I'm pretty sure most hospitals (at least around here) offer some type of 'net access.