tigger22472
Senior Member
lokeen said:He gets to claim one of the two boys as long as he is current on his support and she gets to claim one of the boys until the oldest can't be claimed, then they switch off. She is remarried (as of June 2005) and she makes too much money to qualify for the EIC credit.
**** K... that's a plus, she's not going to have a windfall of money coming in/
Everything was filed and signed in Allen County. She moved to Hamilton, but it would still be handled in Allen County, right?
****Yes, it would be filed in Allen County.
The first daycare she contracted was terminated because it was too expensive for her. This information comes via email from her (hence my thread today asking if emails were admissible). The second provider she contracted was pregnant when the boys started there. They were in her care for 11 weeks before she gave birth and this 2nd provider decided that she didn't want to 'babysit' anymore (again info comes via email), so a third was contracted. We have had the boys for the past several weeks while this third provider was found. They are scheduled to return this Sunday to start this 3rd new daycare Monday morning. (By the way this is the 3rd daycare since 01/02/05, the date she moved to Hamilton County).
**** This could be important. Does your husband know anything about the new daycare? This could show her lack of making good choices. A lawyer would know best.
We have lost overnight parenting time because of her move.
****Because of this a modification is necessary regardless
We have a police report that she filed accusing her new husband of physical abuse. She later dropped the charges claiming that he really didn't hurt her, she was just 'off her meds'. (I have a copy of the recorded voicemail she left for the detective assigned to the case. He sent me the recording along with the police report.)
****I would also attempt or have you lawyer see if there are any other police reports as they are public record.
We have proof that she hasn't covered the boys on medical insurance as she was court ordered to do.
****This is another contempt issue but not a 'ball buster' for say custody, but it could help.
And then there are little petty things that I'm not sure matters:
She routinely calls my husband at work even though it is written in their agreement that she is 'not to contact his place of employment'.
***** This one's iffy. Technically it's contempt but how is he going to prove that it wasn't an emergency about the kids which would supercede the order in a way. Of course if he can prove 'times' she may be forced to prove the emergency. In and by itself it's not a huge thing but could help when combined with other stuff
On three occasions she has sent us the boys with an illness that requires perscription medication and doctor visits. All of which we have paid for, but have not been reimbursed. (Per their Agreement she is responsible for the first $633 in medical expenses yearly.)
***** The non reimbursement is another contempt issue to be brought up. Show a lawyer the proof of the doctor visits and such that COULD be a custody breaker.
Per the Indiana Parenting Time Guidelines, she is to send an adequate supply of clothing and any perscription and/or over-the-counter medication with the boys for their time with us and she never has. So, I just keep a log of our expenses for clothing, medication, car seats, etc. along with receipts.
***** ok.. agreed that's what the parenting guidelines but I don't see a lot of things happening with that. With a lawyer you could show the receipts but if he goes pro se, not sure I would seeing as IMO it could work against you depending on the judge. The lawyer would know how the particular judges look at things.
She is consistently late in arriving to the agreed 1/2 way point for pick up and drop offs. I don't mean a couple of minutes late, I mean an average of 42 mins late in coming to pick them up and 27 mins. late dropping them off.
**** My advice is to get a camcorder if you don't already have one. Tape when your husband gets to the spot showing her not there... show the time. Then show the time and proof when she DOES show up. Lawyer would tell you how much weight you'd have with it but IMO it could help.
Um, (and I really don't want to open up a can of worms here...) she has both boys call her new husband 'daddy' and my husband 'daddy <firstname>'. I know that is a touchy subject and has been addressed several times on this forum, but my husband and I feel that because he is an ongoing and active participant in their lives, that this only adds to the confusion of what their extended family means. Further, there is the following verbage in their agreement which leads me to believe that she is in contempt:
"Neither Husband nor Wife shall attempt, or condone any attempt, directly or indirectly, by any artifice or subeterfuge whatsoever, to estrange the children from the other party or to injure or impair the mutual love and affection of the children and the other party"
Again we feel that by calling their dad 'daddy <firstname>', it cheapens the time that he spends with them.
**** And with the wording and with his feelings it should be addressed..
Then there are the typical problems that come with having Joint Physical Custody with regards to choosing doctors, schools, and the like. We were under the impression from our research that Joint Physical Custody was given only to parents that live in close proximity to one another, with her move his hands are tied. We don't know what goes on down there and what the options even are...
**** There is 'joint physical' and then TRUE 'joint physical'. Typically any NCP that has visitation has physical joint on paper. I"m assuming he has joint LEGAL hence talking about the doctor issue. Problem with that is they live primarily with mom and as long as she's telling him when there's an issue little would be done about him not getting to choose the doctor. Sides if he fights about choosing the doctor he should fighting choosing the day care provider. Now, with that said my husband does have TRUE joint legal and when he expressed his concern that his ex got a daycare provider and his concern was that his ex had not told him, nor was he given a say on who it was the judge told him too bad!
Bleh...I could go on and on with all of the petty things. I document them, but I'm not sure what, if any, credence they hold. Basically we are just waiting for a 'bomb' to drop and holding our breath in the meantime.
****Sometimes it's a lot of little things and sometimes the little things can irritate the judge.. it really just depends.
She does have a history of drinking and rehab, but this was all presented to the judge at the preliminary hearing before the divorce was final and it didn't seem to make much of a difference, as she was still awarded physical custody during the prelim...
The new hearing can only address the things that have happened since the last one so unless she's been in rehab or had legal issues with drinking since the last hearing it won't be heard.
