ok, I am FINALLY asking a question.... and it's a doosie!

[3kidsmom]

What is the name of your state? FL, however case is in CA


The latest in our saga with SD and BM is... I am going to be a 32 year old GRANDMOTHER!! SD is 7mos pg, has had ONE prenatal visit, which was this past friday. She GOT pg, at 15!! *the father is 18.

BM DID NOT notify DH of the pregnancy.

SD has had ONE prenatal visit, which was last friday, I, personally, consider this medical neglect.

BM KNEW she was sleeping with an 18 year old, and failed to provide adequate supervision. *to the mediator, when DH expressed his concern about the 18 y/o BF, BM replied "it is ok, I pick her up from his house"

DH is a stay at home dad, and could care for the child, so she could continue her education.

BM failed to complete court ordered parenting classes within Judges ordered time frame (she is still going, should have been done and shown proof of completion, by 12/31/03)

BM did NOT "seek counseling" for SD, as ordered by Judge.

1 ) Would this be considered "significant change in circumstances?"

2) ANYTHING else you can offer, I am really at a loss!!

THANK YOU!!!!!

 

[3kidsmom]

32 views....

Anyone have ANY advice??? DH is chomping at the bit!!

 

[nextwife]

String up the ex?

Good heavens, I have no idea. How any Mom can deliver her child into the arms (and bed) of an 18 year old boyfriend is beyond my understanding. I am very vocal about my opinion that babies should not be parenting babies, but what I think has no bearing on what idiot biomom is likely to do. My personal opinion is that this future baby deserves to have responsible grownups as parents. Not that it matters.

That kid should have been out of that environment a long time ago. I don't know why the courts insist that Status Quo is generally the better choice if it is BAD status quo!

 

[BL]

What is the States Laws on RAPE ?

Honestly My X , in legal Terms Kidnapped our children. They as teenagers ( babies ) , had babies.

Then what gets me is, the Parent allowing it can sign for them to get married at that age .

I tell ya !!

 

[nextwife]

You know what? If the PARENT didn't see a problem with this, the 18 yr old BF should not be the only adult held accountable. To me, the biomom is JUST as culpable because she FACILITATED the statutory rape. Good grief, she delivered the child to the boyfriend and picked her up afterwards! She indeed should be seen as responsible for this situation.


I'm sure it won't happen, but I just wish both parents would encourage the daughter to consider not ruining theirs and the babie's lives by trying to parent at 15. Adoption is a viable option- babies shouldn't be raising babies.

Heck, at 15 they don't even trust your judgement enough to allow you to drive a car.

 

[bambi66]

In Indiana the parent allowing the act can be charged with neglect of a dependent.

 

[Lil Miss Smarty Panties]

Re: 32 views....

Anyone have ANY advice??? DH is chomping at the bit!!

I think everyone is too shocked to answer. And I dunno what to tell you. Maybe he should seek a free consult with an attorney in the area.

 

[3kidsmom]

Alas... I am SO glad I share NO genetic material with them!!

DH's thought process as a 19 year old Airman, stationed in the Philippines (where they met...) well, you can IMAGINE, WHAT it was he was thinking with

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

Re: Alas... I am SO glad I share NO genetic material with them!!

DH's thought process as a 19 year old Airman, stationed in the Philippines (where they met...) well, you can IMAGINE, WHAT it was he was thinking with

My response:

So then, what's the big attraction to having anything to do with the step-daughter, her pregnancy, and the potential live birth? Who cares? You're not the kid's mother, and you're certainly not going to be a grandmother.

Why are you bothering with the trash?

IAAL

 

[3kidsmom]

I do suppose you are correct... as usual

my "attraction" as you so eloquently put it, is I would like my husbands offspring to have some kind of a future, OTHER than a career at McDonalds.

There is also an innocent child involved too, that didn't have a choice. The "potential live birth" deserves to have loving parents, who WANT a child, and who are mature enough to raise one!

IF my SD chooses to keep this child, she should be encouraged to finish school, so she CAN provide a future for her child, and be guided by people who ARE capable of a mature thought process.

 

[HomeGuru]

Re: I do suppose you are correct... as usual

my "attraction" as you so eloquently put it, is I would like my husbands offspring to have some kind of a future, OTHER than a career at McDonalds.

**A: your statement is rather discriminatory in nature.

signed,

Ronald

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

Re: I do suppose you are correct... as usual

my "attraction" as you so eloquently put it, is I would like my husbands offspring to have some kind of a future, OTHER than a career at McDonalds.

MY RESPONSE: Why? Your husband didn't seem to care 15 years ago.



There is also an innocent child involved too, that didn't have a choice. The "potential live birth" deserves to have loving parents, who WANT a child, and who are mature enough to raise one!

MY RESPONSE: Look, it's not going to happen. The reality is, that in the end, the step-daughter will stay right where she's living. Not every child is born with a silver spoon in their mouth. In other words, you haven't given me anything that would indicate a legal need for a "change of circumstances" that would be recognized by a court to require a change in custody. Nothing in these circumstances has given me any "pause" to believe a court is going to change the current orders.




IF my SD chooses to keep this child, she should be encouraged to finish school, so she CAN provide a future for her child, and be guided by people who ARE capable of a mature thought process.

MY RESPONSE: SD has a mother. Stop trying to be one. Not every child "has a future". Your husband made sure of that when he made his Philippine concubine spread her legs, and then left her. Your husband doesn't care enough, or at all, about the situation - - because if he did, he wouldn't have left in the first place.

So, why are you breaking your chops now? Your husband had 15 years to do something about this situation, and didn't. Now, all of a sudden he wants to "play daddy" with his daughter? Look, if having someone else's child in your life is so important, just have one of your own, or adopt.

There is a need for poor, trailer trash, people. It keeps the economy balanced.

IAAL

 

[JoandJa'smom]

As sad is this situation is, in my opinion there is not enough "change of circumstance" to change custody. I'm sure your DH feels awful about his dd and what she has gotten herself into, but there isin't much he can do about it now. There is a price to pay when you have sex w/the wrong person and sometimes it means a child gets hurt. Very sad, but part of life.

JoandJa'smom

 

[JoandJa'smom]

By the way, I think your McDonald's statement wasn't very nice. Not everyone in our world can afford to go to college, or better themself in some way. Wish they could, but just cause someone works at any fast food restaurant doesn't mean that person doesn't have a life or a future. Hye, the fact someone is working at all means they are trying to make a living somehow. Gotta give them credit for that.

JoandJa'smom

 

[hjallge]

Plus that, everyone eats fast food, someone has to work at fast food resteraunts.