Opinions please...

[Rushia]

NY

Grandfather has a court order for visitation. His wife was also a petitioner and was denied. I fought to have her removed during any visitation that was ordered and was denied.

"Initially, this court determines that the Peititioner-Step-Grandmother has no right to independent visitation outside of that enjoyed by the Grandfather. Her visitation is derivative in nature and contingent upon the good judgment of the Grandfather to insure proper contact with his grandchildren."

With that in mind, does anyone read that the same way that I do. It means that she is allowed to be there BUT he also has to be there? How can he insure good behavior leaving a child or children with her?

I KNOW the children are being separated and I believe that I can prove it. I have also previously informed him that I am aware that this is happening and I will not tolerate it continuing.

I am considering a filing for some other issues but would like to include this in there, but wanted to see if others read the same way that I did.

 

[Childrencome1st]

Do the grandparents reside in the same home?

 

[Just Blue]

Could you clarify this bit ,Hon??

I KNOW the children are being separated and I believe that I can prove it. I have also previously informed him that I am aware that this is happening and I will not tolerate it continuing.

 

[Rushia]

Do the grandparents reside in the same home?

As myself? No. With the children? No. With each other? Yes, but to clarify stepgrandparents cannot file for visitation in NY. I tried to remove her from her husband's visitations, but my attorney was hesitant to use the caselaw I gave her.

Could you clarify this bit ,Hon??

Sorry, separated as in: One child is being taken out with grandfather and he is leaving the other in the care of his wife. The order pertains to my two older children.

 

[BL]

NY

Grandfather has a court order for visitation. His wife was also a petitioner and was denied. I fought to have her removed during any visitation that was ordered and was denied.

[QUOTE]"Initially, this court determines that the Peititioner-Step-Grandmother has no right to independent visitation outside of that enjoyed by the Grandfather. Her visitation is derivative in nature and contingent upon the good judgment of the Grandfather to insure proper contact with his grandchildren."

With that in mind, does anyone read that the same way that I do. It means that she is allowed to be there BUT he also has to be there? How can he insure good behavior leaving a child or children with her?

I KNOW the children are being separated and I believe that I can prove it. I have also previously informed him that I am aware that this is happening and I will not tolerate it continuing.

I am considering a filing for some other issues but would like to include this in there, but wanted to see if others read the same way that I did.

Rushia , I'm not really familiar with the background here.Is there something of very importance here that the step should defiantly not be left alone with the children ? ( safety issues , etc ) .

If so and you know and can prove their safety is being put at risk , I wouldn't send them until it gets heard by a court again.

If not ,I read the wording to mean ,it's up to the grand on his time to use his best judgment leaving the children with her alone on his time.

 

[Rushia]

Rushia , I'm not really familiar with the background here.Is there something of very importance here that the step should defiantly not be left alone with the children ? ( safety issues , etc ) .

If so and you know and can prove their safety is being put at risk , I wouldn't send them until it gets heard by a court again.

If not ,I read the wording to mean ,it's up to the grand on his time to use his best judgment leaving the children with her alone on his time.

It's not a safety issue. It's one of where thru her own testimony that she had conversations with my oldest where she degraded me. The judge was NOT happy with her and made it clear that he believed that she was emotionally/mentally damaging my children.

ETA: I believe that the court made this clear due to her testimony and due to the fact that I submitted emails to the court where he admitted that he knew she had done this and that he wouldn't "control" her behavior.

 

[BL]

It's not a safety issue. It's one of where thru her own testimony that she had conversations with my oldest where she degraded me. The judge was NOT happy with her and made it clear that he believed that she was emotionally/mentally damaging my children.

ETA: I believe that the court made this clear due to her testimony and due to the fact that I submitted emails to the court where he admitted that he knew she had done this and that he wouldn't "control" her behavior.

Is she degrading you still while outside ( or even in the presents ) of the Grandparent ?

If so , it's hill to battle on .

Don't know if you ever read about my GF's case with the grand on here .Grand was ordered not to speak derogatorily about her or her family . She continued along with other contempts .My GF's child was in counseling ,and after about the third or Fourth contempt hearing ,the Judge ruled any communication with the child shall be through the child's therapist . That ended that .

So IMO if the step is still exhibiting the same behaviors ,I think you'd have a good chance at having other grandparent visitation arrangements ,at the least , meaning excluding her altogether .It may take a few contempt petition ,or a modification petition citing the contempts and your request for other orders .

BTW , without badgering your children for that answer , you could simply bring the subject up in around about way ,and " hearsay " by the subject children in the matter can be brought up and heard .

 

[Rushia]

Is she degrading you still while outside ( or even in the presents ) of the Grandparent ?

If so , it's hill to battle on .

Don't know if you ever read about my GF's case with the grand on here .Grand was ordered not to speak derogatorily about her or her family . She continued along with other contempts .My GF's child was in counseling ,and after about the third or Fourth contempt hearing ,the Judge ruled any communication with the child shall be through the child's therapist . That ended that .

So IMO if the step is still exhibiting the same behaviors ,I think you'd have a good chance at having other grandparent visitation arrangements ,at the least , meaning excluding her altogether .It may take a few contempt petition ,or a modification petition citing the contempts and your request for other orders .

BTW , without badgering your children for that answer , you could simply bring the subject up in around about way ,and " hearsay " by the subject children in the matter can be brought up and heard .

Luckily, it's been awhile since she's been alone with either of them and I don't have to ask them cause the kids flat out tell me. Now, mostly I hear that "when I am 11 I get to pick who I want to live with." Those I mostly laugh off because I know it will never happen. Today there was potential for separation again, apparently it didn't happen cause my dd called and tattled. I'm just curious if anyone reads that paragraph from the order the way that I do. I'm guessing not if one doesn't know the history of the case. Really, the judge was PO'd when she admitted it.

 

[BL]

Luckily, it's been awhile since she's been alone with either of them and I don't have to ask them cause the kids flat out tell me. Now, mostly I hear that "when I am 11 I get to pick who I want to live with." Those I mostly laugh off because I know it will never happen. Today there was potential for separation again, apparently it didn't happen cause my dd called and tattled. I'm just curious if anyone reads that paragraph from the order the way that I do. I'm guessing not if one doesn't know the history of the case. Really, the judge was PO'd when she admitted it.

It's still not OK for the step to bring things up like when you're 11 you can chose . Keep well documents of dates and what was said. It all adds up believe me.It all was submitted as exhibits .

She actually had a female friend too that use to be present for visits ,filling the child's head with nonsense ,and had the audacity to call her his aunt.

As far as the Judge being PO'd , the Judge I had in another county also was a sit in Judge in this county for my GF's case(s). He was a no bones about it , and let the Party(s) know it also. After so many contempts and so many admonishments, a Judge like that will look at a way to quell it down.

They tend to get tired of seeing the same litigates in front of them,especially the ones that don't follow orders they were clearly admonished about.

 

[IrishLady47]

NY

"Initially, this court determines that the Peititioner-Step-Grandmother has no right to independent visitation outside of that enjoyed by the Grandfather. Her visitation is derivative in nature and contingent upon the good judgment of the Grandfather to insure proper contact with his grandchildren."

With that in mind, does anyone read that the same way that I do. It means that she is allowed to be there BUT he also has to be there? How can he insure good behavior leaving a child or children with her?

Wow, this really proves that even one or two words can make a difference. It would have been crystal clear if it would have included this after contingent "upon the presence of the grandfather for the duration of the visit".

Right now, I would interpret it as she has no rights to her own visits, but can be in contact with the grandchildren during his visits as he deems "proper". So, he thinks it is "proper" to leave one with step-grandmom while he has an activity with the other child.

If you feel that was not the intent of the judge based on the evidence, and you're going back for other issues, it worth having it clarified. Will you likely get the same judge?

 

[Rushia]

Wow, this really proves that even one or two words can make a difference. It would have been crystal clear if it would have included this after contingent "upon the presence of the grandfather for the duration of the visit".

Right now, I would interpret it as she has no rights to her own visits, but can be in contact with the grandchildren during his visits as he deems "proper". So, he thinks it is "proper" to leave one with step-grandmom while he has an activity with the other child.

If you feel that was not the intent of the judge based on the evidence, and you're going back for other issues, it worth having it clarified. Will you likely get the same judge?

It would be the same judge and I believe that he would remember her testimony. He was so mad, he flat out told her that "I can so you have no remorse for the damage that you have done to that child." and threw her off the stand.

The other issue is more trivial but I want it cleared up. There visits the 1st and 3rd Wednesday of the month and the children aren't coming home with their homework done. I have to keep a 8 and 10 yo up until 10pm some nights to get the homework done. It isn't fair to me or them. Both children have lists with them of what is required that night. Yes, both children are old enough to understand that it is supposed to be done and they do get grounded when it isn't done HOWEVER it still isn't fair to them entirely when this man says...OH you can do that later and then time runs out for it to be done.

Another issue is no "holiday time". I want this cleared up as next year Christmas is on the 4th Sunday of the month and that is a scheduled visitation time. I have no intention of giving him a visit on Christmas. The children should be with me or their father and he and I split the day WITHOUT a court order telling us to do so. I don't know if it means that I don't have to give him a visit or not. He won't agree to a switch and I know he'll attempt to haul me into court on contempt.

 

[Childrencome1st]

I could tell you to "grow up", but I won't

Why are both families not entilted to Christmas time?

I do not mean to sound offensive, just want to know?

 

[Rushia]

I could tell you to "grow up", but I won't

Why are both families not entilted to Christmas time?

I do not mean to sound offensive, just want to know?

Grow up? Why? You asked a vague question and I covered the bases.

Do you have reading comprehension issues. BOTH families are seeing the children for Christmas. Their father and I split the day. 4th Sunday visits are scheduled from 12 to 7 for the grandfather. Do you mean to tell me that their father or I should not see our OWN children for Christmas in favor of the grandfather? The children's father is not interested in seeing his father (paternal grandfather is the one with the order) and I cannot tell him to see his own father for Christmas.

 

[IrishLady47]

Why are both families not entilted to Christmas time?

Do you have reading comprehension issues. BOTH families are seeing the children for Christmas. Their father and I split the day. 4th Sunday visits are scheduled from 12 to 7 for the grandfather. Do you mean to tell me that their father or I should not see our OWN children for Christmas in favor of the grandfather? The children's father is not interested in seeing his father (paternal grandfather is the one with the order) and I cannot tell him to see his own father for Christmas.

You beat me! Exactly what I was going to ask CC1st!

 

[Childrencome1st]

I did not say that..


What I did say was, is there a reason that all should not see the children on Christmas?