Opinions please...

[Rushia]

Rushia ,Do any of your's or Dad's orders outline holidays ?

Holidays would trump the 4th .

And quit honestly I can't see a Judge giving a grand holidays over parents .

The only order dad and I have is our divorce decree. He defaulted and as such I got sole legal and physical custody with reasonable visitation to the father. He hasn't taken me to court to get a definitive schedule so I assume he's happy. The kids just go when he asks for them unless other plans have already been made. He's pretty relaxed about it if I tell him that a playdate/bday party/sports thing is going on. Or if he takes them anyway, they still get to do their things. We split holidays dependent upon our respective family traditions except for Christmas. I get mornings to 2ish and he gets the rest of the night until he's tired of them and calls me to come and get them usually around 9pm.

I don't either which is why if I denied it (although I've said I wanted to get it clarified) I don't think I'd be in much trouble if I offered another day instead.

 

[Rushia]

I would think this would be treated similarly to a visitation with a parent and step parent. While the visitation is for the parent, courts do not typically demand that the child be with the parent 100% of the time. They do accept that others may actually be watching the child at some time while the person with the designated visitation does other things.

and understand, this is just my opinion based on common sense and logic. Since the courts do not always use common sense and logic, I may not agree with court rulings.

I understand your point. However the difference is that a parent has the legal/constitutional point to raise their child as they see fit and have whomever they wish around the child. The grandparent has no such right. The only right they have is to see the child. They cannot make any decisions for the child including who should see the child. There is case law, but it's on my other computer and DH is using that one right now so I can't quote it. That is the difference.

 

[justalayman]

I understand your point. However the difference is that a parent has the legal/constitutional point to raise their child as they see fit and have whomever they wish around the child. The grandparent has no such right. The only right they have is to see the child. They cannot make any decisions for the child including who should see the child. There is case law, but it's on my other computer and DH is using that one right now so I can't quote it. That is the difference.

but by your strict interpretation of the ruling, g-pa couldn't even go to the bathroom.




just how old are these children?

 

[liandrajade]

"Initially, this court determines that the Peititioner-Step-Grandmother has no right to independent visitation outside of that enjoyed by the Grandfather. Her visitation is derivative in nature and contingent upon the good judgment of the Grandfather to insure proper contact with his grandchildren."

i interpret it as she does not have enough standing to warrant her own visitation time but can utilize HIS if HE lets her....technically the court is giving him the benefit of the doubt to facilitate visitation with the step GP on his own, he doesnt have to let her or tell her she CANT be around either....

as for the rest of the nonsense going on, the homework issue is a big one since he is responsible for them on his time, if their homework is not being done until they get home and then they have to stay up late to do it, that can be construed as interfering with their education and CAN possibly be made to be shown irresponsibility on his behalf. it is causing them to stay up late when they should be going to bed at a reasonable time. you have emailed him or talked to him about this, i remember you telling me this before....

parents visitation supercedes that of a GP, so you might be able to get away with not letting him get the christmas visit, especially since your divorce visitation with your ex husband is so vague, you may be able to use that to your advantage but yeah i can see how he will be stupid and try to say you are violating the order, blah blah blah... same crap i know a certain GP of mine will try to pull at some point....

and why dont you call me woman so we can strategize???...and your baby fix will be here next week, when you coming by for your hug and run session???...

 

[liandrajade]

childrencome1st.... i dont know who you are but you are totally out of line here insulting my friend rushia, she is a wonderful mother and her and her childrens father get along very well, HE LOST custody due to his OWN actions, not hers and for you to spout the nonsense you just did in the last 2 posts above this one....YOU are the one who needs help, get off the soapbox and get off this forum, her post is a legit legal one involving the GRANDPARENT not her ex husband.

HOW DARE YOU come on here and wish someone the foul comments you just made??? what kind of PARENT would wish that on another? not a REAL ONE in my opinion since you want to sling that nonsense....



oh and here is what she said regarding custody since you apparently not only have reading comprehension issues in addition to your absolutely horrendous grammar and spelling:

The only order dad and I have is our divorce decree. He defaulted and as such I got sole legal and physical custody with reasonable visitation to the father. He hasn't taken me to court to get a definitive schedule so I assume he's happy. The kids just go when he asks for them unless other plans have already been made. He's pretty relaxed about it if I tell him that a playdate/bday party/sports thing is going on. Or if he takes them anyway, they still get to do their things. We split holidays dependent upon our respective family traditions except for Christmas. I get mornings to 2ish and he gets the rest of the night until he's tired of them and calls me to come and get them usually around 9pm

THE FATHER LOST CUSTODY ON HIS OWN, the JUDGE made this ruling based on facts and evidence, Rushia's thread has NOTHING to do with her and her ex husband, she only gave background information to supplement getting better insight and opinion to her QUESTIONS. it is the GRANDPARENT who are causing problems, wake up out of your little happy goody goody gum drop world and realize that not all people who want to be involved in a child's life are GOOD for them.

 

[futuredust]

why? y sole custody?

I have to ask...

r u kidding?

y would u cut dad out?
any parent that asks 4 sole custody is an allienator ( abuse exception)

Further the parent that asks for sole, does not deserve custody at all.

I can relate to issues. But,

Who do u think u are, that u feel u are the better parent?

Children deserve BOTH PARENTS !!!!

If you feel . or if you want, means nothing, Who r u to decide u r better?

I feel sorry 4 u. I really do...



Your abusing your child/children and do not even know it.


God help u.

Quotable..

 

[futuredust]

For the sake of the child/children. I hope you lose custody!!!!!

Who told u that u were the " Better Parent"?

For God's sake, if u really loved your children, you would do what was right, NOT WHAT U WANT, but what is right.

Again, you deserve to lose custody 4 ur inability to co-parent.

You Proclaim, you have parent, step, grandparent, sibling, interaction,


But the bottom line is u want control.


Someday your children will HATE you, I can't wait.

Was there a sale at the liquor store?

 

[stealth2]

why? y sole custody?

I have to ask...

r u kidding?

y would u cut dad out?
any parent that asks 4 sole custody is an allienator ( abuse exception)

Further the parent that asks for sole, does not deserve custody at all.

I can relate to issues. But,

Who do u think u are, that u feel u are the better parent?

Children deserve BOTH PARENTS !!!!

If you feel . or if you want, means nothing, Who r u to decide u r better?

I feel sorry 4 u. I really do...



Your abusing your child/children and do not even know it.


God help u.

Please post in standard English, rather than text speak.

ETA: Stop being a moron and focus on your own issue. Although, I must say, it is becoming abundantly clear why you're having the issues you are.

 

[Rushia]

Wow? Really? All that huh? So let me get this straight CC1st, because my ex couldn't bother to respond to the divorce decree, show up to court, NOTHING. That makes me an abuser, controlling. LOL! I didn't even want child support because he wasn't working and I knew I'd never see it anyway. The judge awarded it anyway. My ex and I don't care what that piece of paper says other than the divorce part. If you only knew....LOL!

And now I go off to laugh for the rest of the day...AND I gotta tell the other set of parents about this......they're gonna laugh too!

ETA: My children will not hate me in the future over their father. What a laughable thing to say. I have not, do not, and will NEVER interfere in his relationship with our children. He even takes my youngest for visits. I take their youngest for visits.

Besides they already hate me cause I said they had to clean their rooms!

 

[Rushia]

but by your strict interpretation of the ruling, g-pa couldn't even go to the bathroom.




just how old are these children?

LOL, I understand what you're saying, but that would really be pushing it. Everyone has to go to the bathroom. LOL. The children are 10 and 8 and are certainly capable of behaving long enough for him to use the bathroom. However, this issue falls to when he leaves one child at home with his wife and takes off with the other. OR leaves both children (although I believe that only happened once since the final ruling and once during the temp) for longer periods of time than a potty break.

 

[justalayman]

I really do understand your point as well Rushia. Is this really an issue where you believe you need to make a stand? Sometimes we must choose our battles. Taking on the wrong battle can sometimes cause us to lose the war even if we win that particular battle.

Obviously only you can make that determination for yourself as you are privy to info we do not have.

Best of luck to you but be careful which battles you determine to be worth fighting for.

 

[Rushia]

I really do understand your point as well Rushia. Is this really an issue where you believe you need to make a stand? Sometimes we must choose our battles. Taking on the wrong battle can sometimes cause us to lose the war even if we win that particular battle.

Obviously only you can make that determination for yourself as you are privy to info we do not have.

Best of luck to you but be careful which battles you determine to be worth fighting for.

That's why I posted, I wanted other opinions. It turns into an issue for me because she's been trying to steal my son since he was a toddler. I love my children and take good care of them. She has no right to him and I refuse to allow her to turn him against me.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

What if you guys stipulated in court what the Christmas visitation you have been doing? If it's a court order on who gets what on Christmas, wouldn't that supercede the grandpa's visitation? It's been said that HOLIDAYS supercede normally scheduled visitation.

 

[Rushia]

What if you guys stipulated in court what the Christmas visitation you have been doing? If it's a court order on who gets what on Christmas, wouldn't that supercede the grandpa's visitation? It's been said that HOLIDAYS supercede normally scheduled visitation.

It's a little difficult. After he got married and I got married things changed to include the stepfamilies as well because we each have a child with our new spouses. Neither of us really feel it's fair to separate the children from their sibs either. If we filed a stipulation wouldn't the gp have to be involved in that? The way it looks on paper, it looks as if gp was given half of dad's time (if he had a standard schedule). It really backfired on us getting along and all and having no court ordered schedule. I'm really unsure of how that would work since gp has specific times spelled out.