Please help me

[LdiJ]

No, the officers didn't say anything about criminal charges, or victims assistance or really anything at all. The cart pusher and I wrote out statements (he saw my head get slammed into the truck) and my daughter gave the police officer a verbal statement of what she saw. They left, came back, watched the tape, took a copy of the tape and said they would be in touch. At some point they left the card, but I can't say when that was because I don't remember getting it at all.

Dad grew up in that town, I didn't. He may "know" people. I'm not sure.

The store manager took pictures of my bleeding lip, and I've since taken pics of it as well as the huge bruise she left on my leg when she kicked me.

The store manager said if I bought the tapes she would make me as many copies of the parking lot surveillance. I have one copy and will get 3 more tomorrow.

This NEVER should have happened. Dad should have stopped it, instead he staged the whole freakin thing. If the situation were reversed, I would most definitely NOT allowed my significant other to beat up on Dad. He wouldn't do it anyway, but that's beside the point. He wanted to find grandpa last night and "teach him how to treat a woman". I told him NO. We aren't going to dig our own graves like they are doing with theirs. We act appropriate and give them NO reason to take me to court.

I wish now that I would have denied visit yesterday. It would have definitely been in his best interest to stay home and receive his treatments and rash cream. As well as not be around other people who could hurt his already vulnerable immune system. He didn't need to be out in the cold and wind, either.

Make sure and tell the doctor. Doctors are mandated reporters and its quite possible that the doctor will report dad to DHS.

 

[happybug]

When you go to the police station tomorrow, make sure you tell them that you are 100% committed to pressing assault charges on these people.

 

[DawnPlusTwo]

Dawn, I think you're in Oklahoma City, correct?

Here's the page at the Oklahoma County Sheriff site that explains "Safe Zone" exchange procedures. It's a service they provide.

Oklahoma County Sheriff's Office -- Judicial Services

Thank you.
But no, I live in okfuskee county and Dad lives in Okmulgee County. I will google something similar for our counties and see what I can find.

If all else fails, I will talk to my brother and see if he will talk to some of his cop friends in MY town to see if they can be present at 8a at the grocery store. I'm not sure Dads town police would do the same thing. Generally my daughter and I do our shopping at Walmart before the 6p drop off so I will see if a manager can "conveniently" walk out of the store with me to get son, each and every visit. I don't want to involve my family if I don't have to, ya know?

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

In light of what has happened, you are NOT going to be meeting in store parking lots anymore. What you need to have the judge order is exchanges inside police stations - that is in case a judge even allows visitation for dad at this time.

You were assaulted. Let your brain wrap itself around that. THAT is why a TRO needs to be issued. You have dad allowing YOU to be assaulted. He allowed an assault - domestic violence to happen in front of the children. From what you have said, add that an assault happened to a pregnant woman. THAT is the message that needs to be loud and clear to the judge.

Now, add to that, you have dad and wife medically neglecting a child. Per doctor's orders, child was NOT to be in public places, in the cold, and needing treatment every two hours.

In addition to that, dad took a contagious child into a public setting, therefore possibly contaminating all those around the child.

I am beyond angered that this so called loving dad would treat his child so callously.

 

[DawnPlusTwo]

Make sure and tell the doctor. Doctors are mandated reporters and its quite possible that the doctor will report dad to DHS.

I absolutely will tell her. I did like CJane suggested in my last thread and have kept a log of all breathing treatments, antibiotics and application of Nystatin cream. Dad (falsely) wrote on the log that he administered treatments at 3p and 5p. The WM manager witnessed me opening the nebulizer bag and finding the unopened packet of solution and unopened tube of Nystatin. (yes, I made it easy to monitor and glad I did it now)
And if Dad even tries to say I didn't send the nebulizer, the cart pusher put in his statement that he removed the bag from Dads truck while I got my son out.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

http://www.justice.gov/usao/oke/vwassist.html

http://www.ocfrc.org/

Assault & Battery – These may be used together, but they generally refer to two separate crimes. Assault does not require actual physical contact between the offender and the victim. Assault may only in be forms of intimidation, indirect action, fear based threats, or actions that put the victim fear or in harm’s way. Battery doesn’t to always include actual physical harm. A typical battery charge may only include touching another individual in a rude, angry, insolent, or unwelcomed manner. Many forms of touch, depending on circumstances, may be called battery.

[snip]

Domestic Violence – This charge may be field separately or in conjunction with other charges such as assault or battery. The major difference between this charge and other charges is the relationship status between the perpetrator and the victim. The seriousness of this crime depends on all the factors involved such as the degree of injury, if children were involved, property damage, if children were present, and other pertinent factors. In some states a second incidence of domestic is automatically a felony even if no other factors are involved. In recent years it is increasingly common for prosecutors to press charges with or without the cooperation or consent of the victim(s) involved.

 

[Hisbabygirl77]

Thank you.
But no, I live in okfuskee county and Dad lives in Okmulgee County. I will google something similar for our counties and see what I can find.

If all else fails, I will talk to my brother and see if he will talk to some of his cop friends in MY town to see if they can be present at 8a at the grocery store. I'm not sure Dads town police would do the same thing. Generally my daughter and I do our shopping at Walmart before the 6p drop off so I will see if a manager can "conveniently" walk out of the store with me to get son, each and every visit. I don't want to involve my family if I don't have to, ya know?

Ok, Listen if you get that TRO then at least for the time being there will be NO visitation allowed to dad as he will be listed on the TRO more than likely. Hopefully if dad contests the TRO the judge with all the evidence you have will make it an RO and dad again will not be allowed near child. So for now do not plan any exchanges. You need to get that TRO first thing monday. Once they are served if they so much as text you they would be breaking the restraining order and could suffer criminal charges for it.

Make sure you put in the TRO no verbal, physically, even text, emails, IM's, phone calls from those three monsters.


One more thing, when you get the TRO/RO make sure anyone who will have the kids has a copy. That way if the monsters try anything they can call the police and have the copy to show police. It really is neccesary.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Assault & Battery

Definition of Assault – Okla. Stat. tit. 21, § 641

“Assault” – An assault is any willful and unlawful attempt or offer with force or violence to do a corporal hurt to another.

Definition of Battery – Okla. Stat. tit. 21, § 642

“Battery” – A battery is any willful and unlawful use of force or violence upon the person of another.

Assault & Battery – Okla. Stat. tit. 21, § 644

The standard criminal punishments for Assault and/or Battery in Oklahoma are the following:

A. Assault shall be punishable by imprisonment in a county jail not exceeding thirty (30) days, or by a fine of not more than Five Hundred Dollars ($500.00), or by both such fine and imprisonment.

B. Assault and battery shall be punishable by imprisonment in a county jail not exceeding ninety (90) days, or by a fine of not more than One Thousand Dollars ($1,000.00), or by both such fine and imprisonment.

C. Any person who commits any assault and battery against a current or former spouse, a present spouse of a former spouse, parents, a foster parent, a child, a person otherwise related by blood or marriage, a person with whom the defendant is in a dating relationship as defined by Section 60.1 of Title 22 of the Oklahoma Statutes, an individual with whom the defendant has had a child, a person who formerly lived in the same household as the defendant, or a person living in the same household as the defendant shall be guilty of domestic abuse. Upon conviction, the defendant shall be punished by imprisonment in the county jail for not more than one (1) year, or by a fine not exceeding Five Thousand Dollars ($5,000.00), or by both such fine and imprisonment. Upon conviction for a second or subsequent offense, the person shall be punished by imprisonment in the custody of the Department of Corrections for not more than four (4) years, or by a fine not exceeding Five Thousand Dollars ($5,000.00), or by both such fine and imprisonment. The provisions of Section 51.1 of this title shall not apply to any second or subsequent offense.

D. Any person convicted of domestic abuse as defined in subsection C of this section that results in great bodily injury to the victim shall be guilty of a felony and punished by imprisonment in the custody of the Department of Corrections for not more than ten (10) years, or by imprisonment in the county jail for not more than one (1) year. The provisions of Section 51.1 of this title shall apply to any second or subsequent conviction of a violation of this subsection.

E. Any person convicted of domestic abuse as defined in subsection C of this section that was committed in the presence of a child shall be punished by imprisonment in the county jail for not less than six (6) months nor more than one (1) year, or by a fine not exceeding Five Thousand Dollars ($5,000.00), or by both such fine and imprisonment. Any person convicted of a second or subsequent domestic abuse as defined in subsection C of this section that was committed in the presence of a child shall be punished by imprisonment in the custody of the Department of Corrections for not less than one (1) year nor more than five (5) years, or by a fine not exceeding Seven Thousand Dollars ($7,000.00), or by both such fine and imprisonment. The provisions of Section 51.1 of this title shall not apply to any second or subsequent offense. For every conviction of domestic abuse, the court shall:

1. Specifically order as a condition of a suspended sentence or probation that a defendant participate in counseling or undergo treatment to bring about the cessation of domestic abuse as specified in paragraph 2 of this subsection;

2. a. The court shall require the defendant to participate in counseling or undergo treatment for domestic abuse by an individual licensed practitioner or a domestic abuse treatment program certified by the Attorney General. If the defendant is ordered to participate in a domestic abuse counseling or treatment program, the order shall require the defendant to attend the program for a minimum of fifty-two (52) weeks, complete the program, and be evaluated before and after attendance of the program by a program counselor or a private counselor.

b. A program for anger management, couples counseling, or family and marital counseling shall not solely qualify for the counseling or treatment requirement for domestic abuse pursuant to this subsection. The counseling may be ordered in addition to counseling specifically for the treatment of domestic abuse or per evaluation as set forth below. If, after sufficient evaluation and attendance at required counseling sessions, the domestic violence treatment program or licensed professional determines that the defendant does not evaluate as a perpetrator of domestic violence or does evaluate as a perpetrator of domestic violence and should complete other programs of treatment simultaneously or prior to domestic violence treatment, including but not limited to programs related to the mental health, apparent substance or alcohol abuse or inability or refusal to manage anger, the defendant shall be ordered to complete the counseling as per the recommendations of the domestic violence treatment program or licensed professional;

3. a. The court shall set a review hearing no more than one hundred twenty (120) days after the defendant is ordered to participate in a domestic abuse counseling program or undergo treatment for domestic abuse to assure the attendance and compliance of the defendant with the provisions of this subsection and the domestic abuse counseling or treatment requirements.

b. The court shall set a second review hearing after the completion of the counseling or treatment to assure the attendance and compliance of the defendant with the provisions of this subsection and the domestic abuse counseling or treatment requirements. The court shall retain continuing jurisdiction over the defendant during the course of ordered counseling through the final review hearing;

4. The court may set subsequent or other review hearings as the court determines necessary to assure the defendant attends and fully complies with the provisions of this subsection and the domestic abuse counseling or treatment requirements;

5. At any review hearing, if the defendant is not satisfactorily attending individual counseling or a domestic abuse counseling or treatment program or is not in compliance with any domestic abuse counseling or treatment requirements, the court may order the defendant to further or continue counseling, treatment, or other necessary services. The court may revoke all or any part of a suspended sentence, deferred sentence, or probation pursuant to Section 991b of Title 22 of the Oklahoma Statutes and subject the defendant to any or all remaining portions of the original sentence;

6. At the first review hearing, the court shall require the defendant to appear in court. Thereafter, for any subsequent review hearings, the court may accept a report on the progress of the defendant from individual counseling, domestic abuse counseling, or the treatment program. There shall be no requirement for the victim to attend review hearings; and

7. If funding is available, a referee may be appointed and assigned by the presiding judge of the district court to hear designated cases set for review under this subsection. Reasonable compensation for the referees shall be fixed by the presiding judge. The referee shall meet the requirements and perform all duties in the same manner and procedure as set forth in Sections 7003-8.6 and 7303-7.5 of Title 10 of the Oklahoma Statutes pertaining to referees appointed in juvenile proceedings.

The defendant may be required to pay all or part of the cost of the counseling or treatment, in the discretion of the court.

F. As used in subsection E of this section, “in the presence of a child” means in the physical presence of a child; or having knowledge that a child is present and may see or hear an act of domestic violence. For the purposes of subsections C and E of this section, “child” may be any child whether or not related to the victim or the defendant.

G. For the purposes of subsections C and E of this section, any conviction for assault and battery against a current or former spouse, a present spouse of a former spouse, parents, a foster parent, a child, a person otherwise related by blood or marriage, a person with whom the defendant is in a dating relationship as defined by Section 60.1 of Title 22 of the Oklahoma Statutes, an individual with whom the defendant has had a child, a person who formerly lived in the same household as the defendant, or any person living in the same household as the defendant, shall constitute a sufficient basis for a felony charge:

1. If that conviction is rendered in any state, county or parish court of record of this or any other state; or

2. If that conviction is rendered in any municipal court of record of this or any other state for which any jail time was served; provided, no conviction in a municipal court of record entered prior to November 1, 1997, shall constitute a prior conviction for purposes of a felony charge.

will be continued

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

continued

H. Any person who commits any assault and battery with intent to cause great bodily harm by strangulation or attempted strangulation against a current or former spouse, a present spouse of a former spouse, parents, a foster parent, a child, a person otherwise related by blood or marriage, a person with whom the defendant is in a dating relationship as defined by Section 60.1 of Title 22 of the Oklahoma Statutes, an individual with whom the defendant has had a child, a person who formerly lived in the same household as the defendant, or a person living in the same household as the defendant shall, upon conviction, be guilty of domestic abuse by strangulation and shall be punished by imprisonment in the custody of the Department of Corrections for a period of not less than one (1) year nor more than three (3) years, or by a fine of not more than Three Thousand Dollars ($3,000.00), or by both such fine and imprisonment. Upon a second or subsequent conviction, the defendant shall be punished by imprisonment in the custody of the Department of Corrections for a period of not less than three (3) years nor more than ten (10) years, or by a fine of not more than Twenty Thousand Dollars ($20,000.00), or by both such fine and imprisonment. As used in this subsection, “strangulation” means a form of asphyxia characterized by closure of the blood vessels or air passages of the neck as a result of external pressure on the neck.

I. Any district court of this state and any judge thereof shall be immune from any liability or prosecution for issuing an order that requires a defendant to:

1. Attend a treatment program for domestic abusers certified by the Attorney General;

2. Attend counseling or treatment services ordered as part of any suspended or deferred sentence or probation; and

3. Attend, complete, and be evaluated before and after attendance by a treatment program for domestic abusers, certified by the Attorney General.

J. There shall be no charge of fees or costs to any victim of domestic violence, stalking, or sexual assault in connection with the prosecution of a domestic violence, stalking, or sexual assault offense in this state.

K. In the course of prosecuting any charge of domestic abuse, stalking, harassment, rape, or violation of a protective order, the prosecutor shall provide the court, prior to sentencing or any plea agreement, a local history and any other available history of past convictions of the defendant within the last ten (10) years relating to domestic abuse, stalking, harassment, rape, violation of a protective order, or any other violent misdemeanor or felony convictions.

L. For purposes of subsection D of this section, “great bodily injury” means bone fracture, protracted and obvious disfigurement, protracted loss or impairment of the function of a body part, organ or mental faculty, or substantial risk of death.

http://www.jeremykward.com/criminal/assualt-battery/

 

[mom482]

file for all children to be covered, and all adults to be 'restrained' - but know that its very possible the child will not be included after the final hearing since he was not actually abused. His father acted like an idiot, but he's a baby, inside a truck, probably didn't see anything. Not that I agree w/ it - but the courts will not likely take away, or even supervise, his visitation because of conflict with you.
Also you need to file emergency custody the same day you file for the TRO because you need both orders to be consistent. if the RO does include the child - you will need the custody order to reflect that the wife is not to be around the child, or present at exchanges etc as well. There is nothing worse that calling the police if they violate an order, and they show up w/ another order that says something different. I was in a similar situation years ago and denied visitation based on an RO - and was found in contempt and told that the RO does not trump the custody order.
Just letting you know to be aware of all possibilities - not as legal advice.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

In this case, dad & wife failed to have provided medical treatment to the child. THAT needs to be part of it - so yes, the child is included in this process.

 

[Hisbabygirl77]

file for all children to be covered, and all adults to be 'restrained' - but know that its very possible the child will not be included after the final hearing since he was not actually abused. His father acted like an idiot, but he's a baby, inside a truck, probably didn't see anything. Not that I agree w/ it - but the courts will not likely take away, or even supervise, his visitation because of conflict with you.
Also you need to file emergency custody the same day you file for the TRO because you need both orders to be consistent. if the RO does include the child - you will need the custody order to reflect that the wife is not to be around the child, or present at exchanges etc as well. There is nothing worse that calling the police if they violate an order, and they show up w/ another order that says something different. I was in a similar situation years ago and denied visitation based on an RO - and was found in contempt and told that the RO does not trump the custody order. Just letting you know to be aware of all possibilities - not as legal advice.

WRONG! If child is listed on the RO or the TRO before an RO is in effect then the the RO or TRO trumps the custody order. PERIOD
Also, the likelihood of the child being on the left on the RO is actually pretty good with the child being present AND the medical neglect.

 

[maryjo]

This NEVER should have happened. Dad should have stopped it, instead he staged the whole freakin thing. If the situation were reversed, I would most definitely NOT allowed my significant other to beat up on Dad. He wouldn't do it anyway, but that's beside the point. He wanted to find grandpa last night and "teach him how to treat a woman". I told him NO. We aren't going to dig our own graves like they are doing with theirs. We act appropriate and give them NO reason to take me to court.

The first thing that popped into my mind after reading it was "why didnt she fight back?!" But that was probably the best thing you could have done. They could have totally turned it around on you. Or tried to anyway. Thank God Walmart has security cameras.

I am sure you are going through hell right now but please know that there are a lot of people thinking about you right now. I hope your son isnt sick from all this and that your daughter calms down and can recover from it.

Just reading it earlier upset me so much I had to close it and come back later to respond. I feel so bad for you.

 

[>Charlotte<]

Oklahoma County does the safe exchange for anybody, regardless of residency. I just looked on Google Maps, and obviously OK Co. is too far for you to go, but if your specific county doesn't provide that service someone else nearby might.

I hope you know what you're in for, because you have to be prepared for it. These people seem determined to make your life hell in as many ways as they can. As the situation escalates I won't be surprised if they push every envelope and test every limit in an effort to bully you into backing down. You might get all the right people to order all the right paperwork, but you're the one that's going to have to enforce it by reporting every single violation. They need to know you are absolutely not going to take anymore of this.

This might become even more overwhelming than it already has been and you have so much deal with right now there are probably going to be days you just want to drop the whole thing. You can't do that. You have to push through all the way to the end. If you give these people an inch they're going to pull this crap with you for the next seventeen years. You've tried the "let's be civil" routine. It's time to bring the bitch.

And the part about not involving your family unless you have to? That ship has sailed. You have to now. You need to involve anyone who can help you in any way possible. You need all the support you can get.

 

[troublesleeping]

It's time to bring the bitch.

[/QUOTE]

I agree, you cannot be nice to these people for one minute. If you are then they will smell your weakness and use it against you.