Wow
Talk about overreacting!! Some of these posts are hard to believe! Anyway, let me first say that somehow, most of you have taken what I've said and ran like hell with it in the opposite direction! I'm not saying that you've done it intentionally, but this has turned into something that isn't based on MY SITUATION anymore. I'm not sure how you've concluded that my x is a decent dad. The sad truth is, he is not. I do believe he could be, if he would stand up to his wife. Since he's been with her, my daughter is very low on his list of priorities. Why do you think it is that I really didn't even expect him to show up on Friday?? Because, that's what he does! For the past 2 1/2 years, myself and most of HIS family have tried to get him to show interest in Haylee. She does dance and gymnastics and has had 4 different recitals. He (and wife) have been invited each time. Not once have they came. Not once. Now, his new wife has a little girl from previous relationship that does beauty pagents. My x manages to travel all over the southeast going to her competitions. Should he? Of course he should. But, what message do you think he is sending to my daughter? She has issues with this and he is aware. I don't expect him to neglect his stepdaughter. But, I do expect him to be there for our daughter. He completely ignored her birthday in April. I gave him plenty of time, even called his mother to let her no that Haylee had mentioned that he hasn't called or even sent a card. His mom called him and finally 18 days after her birthday, a video game came in THE MAIL. No call. And, the game was incredibly violent. Even it's rating on the case was for mature teens. She's 8. Why is he stepping up now? I am not exactly sure. I only hope that it lasts but I am doubtful. I honestly think it's because his wife is bored and wants to stir the pot. She knows I want him in Haylee's life, and she knows I think it's important that he and I communicate. On a daily basis? Of course not. Only when something comes up with her. And especially if he is scheduled to get her, because of his past of not showing up, it would be nice if he would call to confirm. Never would I not answer one of his calls. Never. That's my childs father. If he is calling, it's something I need to hear. That goes both ways. I don't know if I mentioned it or not, but he lives 10 miles from here. That's it. As far as some of you saying that it should have been obvious that he picked her up at school, I sure thought I explained to you that it was only mentioned ONE time, when this stuff first started (around the end of July) and I said I would not agree to that, my attorney agreed also and IT WAS NEVER BROUGHT UP AGAIN. Now, other disputes have been going between both attorneys, but this was a dead issue. At that same time, he had also asked for EVERY spring break. I said no, we could split each break or trade years. But not EVERY one. This issue keeps coming back. He is still arguing, trying to get it. Why didn't the issue of the after school pickup continue? I assumed he accepted that it wasn't going to happen. And, knowing him as I do, I honestly thought he was relieved I had not agreed to that. As I think I've explained, this isn't what HE wants. This is his wifes plan to keep me out of the scene all together. I'm sure that's why they waited until school started back up to even ask for her. She is on some kind of power trip and my daughter is paying the price. As I told you, my x has never shown ANY interest in her school. This is his wife and I'm thinking my x is actually hoping the courts will shoot it down. Remember, he will NOT stand up to her, and would be more than happy to have the courts take control. Then, he doesn't have to stand up at all. He can simply tell her that it's not his fault, he tried to do what she asked. See? And as far as the cell phone goes, I thought I had made that clear also. He IS NOT ALLOWED TO TALK TO ME UNLESS SHE IS PRESENT. If I called him and left a message that I needed to speak with him about Haylee, he would get the message but he wouldn't call me back until either A. He went home for lunch(wife present) or B. He clocked out and went home for the day.(wife present) or C. Not call me back at all. (most frequent) I'm telling you this woman has admitted this to me!!! He hasn't, of course. But this girl actually tried to justify it once by telling me that my x was the same way with her x. I later found out that's not the case. She tried to get me to believe that he was so jealous of her x that she wasn't allowed to talk to him unless my x was present. My x's family say that's not the case, she is actually ALONE with her x on a pretty regular basis. When I called his phone @ 2:50, he was in traffic most likely, not yet home. Later when I thought Haylee was missing and I called, he was home and was allowed to answer. Although he didn't, Haylee did. Don't kid yourselves. If his wife had not been with him, NO ONE WOULD HAVE ANSWERED THAT CALL. Am I the only one who thinks that is crazy?? Bris & gabrat....thank you for not not putting your own twist on my situation. I am still trying to figure out how some of you came to the conclusions that you did. Especially this Kat person. Hog the kid? Geez, you are WAY OFF. So is concernedmom & Belize. I have reread and tried to figure out how you may have formed your impressions and I just can't make sense of it. Sorry. Bris...you got the message and I am thankful. I was starting to wonder if I was just doing a horrible job explaining this mess. Gabrat, Casa and Mudhoney, thanks for being able to offer advice without conviction. It seems to be a rare occurence here.
I have chilled out by painting my entire livingroom this weekend. I will ask my attorney what in the world happened on Friday, but that's as far as I will take it. I am incredibly thankful that she was not abducted. Oh yeah, one other thing that only added to my fear was this....I always drive her to school because the bus is sometimes late at the bus stop and I have seen little kids left up there standing a good hour after school starts at times. She likes the bus and it's a compromise to let her ride it home so I do. This past Friday was a bit different. When my teen was heading out to school, she popped back in to tell me that I had a flat tire. ALL THE WAY FLAT. (2 nails) Anyway, Haylee had to ride the bus. I watched her walk to the bus stop, but I did not actually SEE her get on. I was back in the house and I saw the bus go by. It was not late. So, this was on my mind also when my neighbor tells me Hay wasn't on the bus home. I was thinking that she could have been missing ALL DAY. Was I thinking clearly? No. Did I ask all the right questions with the school?? Probably not. I am not even exactly sure how many times I called up there. 2 at least, and we drove up there once.
Back to the point, depending on what my attorney says, I will most likely just let it go. After all, if he is finally ready to be involved in her life, that's what I've asked for all along. I am just hoping that the courts will tell him he has to communicate with me if I am calling about our child. I honestly think he is probably hoping for that to happen also. What I was curious about was how the courts will most likely see this. Their argument for not wanting to be around me or communicate with me is that we always fight. That's not true in the least. I've no doubts that there is fighting going on whenever we talk, but it's not him and I. It's the two of them.
It sounds to me like Dad may be pursuing the school pick-up/drop-off because it avoids any contact with the ex (no offense Bethlam, but few of us like meeting with the ex) Maybe he's pushing the after school pick-up because it means he doesn't have to go to your house or some awkward meeting place. I think it is admirable that you are interested in their school work, but if Dad is with them it will have to be his responsibility. I suggest you keep a good rapport with teachers so you will know if school responsibilities start to slip. Or if you are still concerned about receiving certain paperwork/correspondence, speak to the teacher. You would be surprised how many teachers have to deal with divorced parents and special requests (although it should be within reason). 
