question re: address provision stipulation

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

In Colorado there is no minimum age. It is when the children show enough maturity to make a decision on their own without influence from either parent. I have a friend who just LOST custody of her 10-yr-old for that reason.

The JUDGE chose for her - the child expressed an opinion. There had to be more than just that though otherwise warring parents would be hostages to their children.

 

[dogmom228]

I guess I should have been punished for the winter camping I did. And that involved SNOW.

*sigh* did you take your kids into consideration when you went? That's the point I'm getting at.

PLEASE.

I'm tired of defending my reasons.

HELP!!

 

[2MsWife]

In Colorado there is no minimum age. It is when the children show enough maturity to make a decision on their own without influence from either parent. I have a friend who just LOST custody of her 10-yr-old for that reason.

You have been 100% misinformed.

Bottom line? You want to be able to impose a consequence on dad at your whim. Call it whatever you want, but that's what it is.

 

[Zigner]

*sigh* did you take your kids into consideration when you went? That's the point I'm getting at.

Poor Eskimos

 

[dogmom228]

Are you sure that he didn't want you to stipulate that he had already given you an address, when he actually has not? He might not have meant that he was willing to stipulate that you were required to give each other addresses.

Also, on the road rage thing...I personally know someone out in the real world who gained custody of his children simply because mom committed road rage on him, with the children in her car. There was an emergency hearing, and the judge switched custody right there temporarily, and a month or so later made it permanent.

There is that possibility, LdiJ. Am I best off just taking this to the Status Hearing?

I had full temporary custody of my kids at the time the restraining order, but Colorado will only allow 120 days. He loves the kids, has proven he loves them, but he has Narcissistic Personality Disorder and is not capable of looking out for their interests before himself. I know this because I went to counselling sessions with him before we divorced. Despite this (and the fact that this extremely difficult to prove in Court), Colorado has allowed him to have parenting time. When we were divorced he was allowed supervised visitation until he could prove to a psychologist that he would not harm the children. He was able to schmooze his way through that. NPD's do that. They're very good at it. He has been able to work up to the time that he now has. He has not harmed the children (with the exception of scaring all three of us with the road rage incident) since. Neglect is not considered harm.

Without defending myself, does this make sense to all of you? Are you beginning to get a light as to why I'm so concerned? I get controlling because I'm constantly worried about my kids when they're in his care. I know I have to let go, and I do... for the most part.

 

[Zigner]

There is that possibility, LdiJ. Am I best off just taking this to the Status Hearing?

I had full temporary custody of my kids at the time the restraining order, but Colorado will only allow 120 days. He loves the kids, has proven he loves them, but he has Narcissistic Personality Disorder and is not capable of looking out for their interests before himself. I know this because I went to counselling sessions with him before we divorced. Despite this (and the fact that this extremely difficult to prove in Court), Colorado has allowed him to have parenting time. When we were divorced he was allowed supervised visitation until he could prove to a psychologist that he would not harm the children. He was able to schmooze his way through that. NPD's do that. They're very good at it. He has been able to work up to the time that he now has. He has not harmed the children (with the exception of scaring all three of us with the road rage incident) since. Neglect is not considered harm.

Without defending myself, does this make sense to all of you? Are you beginning to get a light as to why I'm so concerned? I get controlling because I'm constantly worried about my kids when they're in his care. I know I have to let go, and I do... for the most part.

You haven't even offered any concrete evidence of neglect, much less danger.

 

[dogmom228]

You have been 100% misinformed.

Bottom line? You want to be able to impose a consequence on dad at your whim. Call it whatever you want, but that's what it is.

Ummm.... no... I have not been misinformed. I have done a great deal of research on this, I have asked questions, I have talked to attorneys.

Sure. I want to impose a consequence. Didn't I say that at the beginning? If I don't have the right, then I don't have the right. I get it. I'm a big girl and I can handle it. All I wanted to know was if I was out of line, and how to word it to make it right. A couple hours later, I'm no further, and I'm defending myself.

 

[Zigner]

All I wanted to know was if I was out of line...

You've been told that you're out of line over and over (and OVER) again.

 

[2MsWife]

The road rage incident was 3 years ago. Don't expect to limit dad's time based on that.

And honestly? The more you post, the more it comes across as that being your end-game. You want to be able to suspend dad's visitation at your whim. And then you're operating under the misguided notion that in a few years your children can decide...

 

[dogmom228]

You haven't even offered any concrete evidence of neglect, much less danger.

How about threats of suicide? Is that enough for you? He wasn't getting his way during the divorce, he stated he had considered it, therefore he had supervised visitation. Do you not think I am continually scared about that? What if he decides to follow through and takes my kids out with him? He's threatened it before when my kids were with him (shortly before the road rage incident).

 

[dogmom228]

The road rage incident was 3 years ago. Don't expect to limit dad's time based on that.

And honestly? The more you post, the more it comes across as that being your end-game. You want to be able to suspend dad's visitation at your whim. And then you're operating under the misguided notion that in a few years your children can decide...

OK... fine.... forget it.

 

[Zigner]

How about threats of suicide? Is that enough for you? He wasn't getting his way during the divorce, he stated he had considered it, therefore he had supervised visitation. Do you not think I am continually scared about that? What if he decides to follow through and takes my kids out with him? He's threatened it before when my kids were with him (shortly before the road rage incident).

Yeah, keep throwing stuff on the wall...maybe something will stick.

Good luck.