question

[msdad]

well sorry. because I always seem to cause an uproar in here, I can't seem to remember what YOU said. That's why I asked the question again. Despite all of your loving affection for me, you were one of the only ones giving actual advice.

I know that my ex is going to put every possible roadblock in front of me with this, but I'm assuming that that can only go so far. It doesn't seem that in the end it would be worth it for her. From my understanding almost all judges will award some kind of visitation...even with the time I've been absent and even with DUI's.

 

[Rushia]

You are so kind to me!

Anyway...My lawyer did do a backround check on her. There was no DUI's. The only public record they found on her was a judgment that was paid, and one that was not.

Do you think, (though it might not be a big deal to you) that the judge asked him some of these questions (smoking, drinking?) I could be able to use that.

Does anyone know what kind of questions he would have been asked on this situation?

So what if she drinks socially, it seems that you have the bigger problem with that. What gives you the right to drink (with 5 DUI's no less) and not her? What makes it OK for you with children in the home the same age as your son to drink and not her around her son? Not to mention helping to raise them, and not your own? So what if she smokes, as long as she isn't popping the cigs into her son's mouth and lighting them up, it isn't going to get you anywhere. I'm with stealth here, I hope the judge puts you in your place and let's the child have the same name as the rest of his family.

 

[stealth2]

well sorry. because I always seem to cause an uproar in here, I can't seem to remember what YOU said. That's why I asked the question again. Despite all of your loving affection for me, you were one of the only ones giving actual advice.

Dude - everyone gave you the same answer, so quit being coy. Frankly, I'm astounded that your g/f hasn't kicked you to the curb. I hope she's at least got the sense to not allow you to drive her kids around.

 

[msdad]

well, I'm sure I'll get the visitation. It might be a long road, but I'll get it.

My girlfriend use to tell me to get visitation and now thinks my ex is a bitch because I still have to pay and my son might get his name changed. As much justice as you guys think that my ex has, there is no justice in me paying for a kid, who calls another man dad and has his last name.

Oh, and yes she lets me drive the kids around! Yes I had a DUI in the past year, but before that I haven't had one since 1997.

 

[Rushia]

well, I'm sure I'll get the visitation. It might be a long road, but I'll get it.

My girlfriend use to tell me to get visitation and now thinks my ex is a bitch because I still have to pay and my son might get his name changed. As much justice as you guys think that my ex has, there is no justice in me paying for a kid, who calls another man dad and has his last name.

Oh, and yes she lets me drive the kids around! Yes I had a DUI in the past year, but before that I haven't had one since 1997.

You should have thought of this 9 years ago when you decided you didn't want anything to do with him and another man took over your job.

Whoopee, then she's nuts too. Personally, I wouldn't put myself or my children in a car with an alcoholic.

 

[msdad]

I'm not an alcoholic. Even with the DUI's the courts can't say/prove I am either.

 

[Rushia]

Wow, talk about denial.

 

[msdad]

There are plenty of people who have more DUI's than I. The first three was when I was very young. Even if they bring these up, it doesn't PROVE that I have a problem. Raise question maybe, but it doesn't prove anything.

I doubt it would have any effect on my getting visitation either!

I read a story where a man who was in a gang and in prision for killing someone, got to meet his child for the first time, after taking the mother to court...you think 5 dui's in almost 20 years is going to do anything?...Probably not.

 

[Rushia]

There are plenty of people who have more DUI's than I. The first three was when I was very young. Even if they bring these up, it doesn't PROVE that I have a problem. Raise question maybe, but it doesn't prove anything.

I doubt it would have any effect on my getting visitation either!

I read a story where a man who was in a gang and in prision for killing someone, got to meet his child for the first time, after taking the mother to court...you think 5 dui's in almost 20 years is going to do anything?...Probably not.

It seems that you are missing the point. I never said that you wouldn't get visitation, that is up to the judge. My points are these:
1: You make an issue of the mother drinking SOCIALLY, while you have 5 DUI's.
2: You had no problem helping to raise 2 children that are not your own, while ignoring your own son.
3: You seem to think that the mother should stay at home with your child, while you and your girlfriend can go out and do as you please.
4: You contest the name change on the fact that you still have to pay support, if you don't want to pay then let his FATHER adopt him.

You sir, are a hypocrite. You are playing silly games and all you are doing is hurting that poor boy.

 

[msdad]

My lawyer told me to consider letting his step-father adopt him, so I wouldn't have to pay anymore. Problem is, is that my son and his step father haven't lived together long enough. It has to be 1 year. They've only been married 5 months. They were together since my son was 1 and never lived together...yeah right! She's doing this to take my money and that's that.

 

[casa]

well, I'm sure I'll get the visitation. It might be a long road, but I'll get it.

My girlfriend use to tell me to get visitation and now thinks my ex is a bitch because I still have to pay and my son might get his name changed. As much justice as you guys think that my ex has, there is no justice in me paying for a kid, who calls another man dad and has his last name.

Oh, and yes she lets me drive the kids around! Yes I had a DUI in the past year, but before that I haven't had one since 1997.

If you are so sure you'll get visitation~ Why are you here asking everyone about it?

I don't know what brewery you grew up in, but 5 DUIs is NOT NORMAL. The fact that you have to compare your case to a murderer to rationalize your actions, should be your first clue.

The mother (as you indicated in your earlier posts) went OUT drinking one night with friends and had a cigarette...she didn't drink around your child or drive while under the influence. It was YOU that was worried you'd not be able to pass a drug test for Marijuana!!! You felt a drug test on YOU was "an invasion of your rights" but you think you can use a night out with friends against the mother?

And stop acting like the mother is removing your name...the child had the MOTHER's name and NEVER had your name to begin with.

Of course the child is calling the husband Dad- He's the only man who's ever been in the child's life. He IS his 'Dad'.

 

[casa]

My lawyer told me to consider letting his step-father adopt him, so I wouldn't have to pay anymore. Problem is, is that my son and his step father haven't lived together long enough. It has to be 1 year. They've only been married 5 months. They were together since my son was 1 and never lived together...yeah right! She's doing this to take my money and that's that.

Like I said, for 8 years this has been the only man your son has had as a father figure. The fact that the mother waited to live with him until they were married- only demonstrates she was putting the child first and not herself. Meanwhile, you were using drugs, getting DUIs, and never seeing your own son (In fact by your own words- avoiding your own family if your son was visiting them!)

I think you need to have your head examined

 

[Rushia]

My lawyer told me to consider letting his step-father adopt him, so I wouldn't have to pay anymore. Problem is, is that my son and his step father haven't lived together long enough. It has to be 1 year. They've only been married 5 months. They were together since my son was 1 and never lived together...yeah right! She's doing this to take my money and that's that.

So then suck it up for the next 7 months and let him go. Your X is not taking your money, your child deserves to be supported by you. You helped create him and you should help pay for him. Until his father can adopt him, at least.

 

[stealth2]

I'm going to change my assessment. You're not a boil on the buttocks of humanity. You're the pus in the boil on the a$$ of a whale at the bottom of the ocean.

 

[Rushia]

I'm going to change my assessment. You're not a boil on the buttocks of humanity. You're the pus in the boil on the a$$ of a whale at the bottom of the ocean.

LOL, Nah, I think even that might be thinking to highly of this guy.