stephaniesm2010
Junior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NC
I gave birth to my oldest son, Michael, when I was 17 years old. I lived with my father until I was 18. I spent the majority of my childhood in DSS custody because my mother left and my father was very physically abusive. When I was 18, my father abused me so bad I almost lost my eye. when i got the opportunity i clammered out from under him, grabbed my one year old son, and left. At that point I was homeless and I had nothing.
After about a month of being homeless, I could not afford child care, nor did I trust any of the people around me enough to watch my son while I looked for work. I tried different shelters but none of them offered childcare and were not in areas that offered public transportation. I had no outlet to get on my feet or better my life for my son and he needed a roof over his head whether i could provide it or not. I signed kinship custody over to a couple i knew that fosters children. They couldn't keep him anymore, so I signed kinship custody to a woman that I knew well. Upon visiting him, i found bruising on him and immediately took him away from the situation. I was still homeless and i could not provide for him so at this point i signed kinship custody to my mother, who was my very last resort. It was always the plan that I would get him back when I was stable.
I agreed to take classes to work towards getting him back to me, even though i had no idea how i would provide for him. it became apparent that without transportation or a place to sleep I would not be able to continue these classes. At this point I hitch hiked back and forth between 5 different counties for a place to lay my head with friends occasionally. Besides that, I slept outside or in laundromats or where ever i could really. DSS was getting pretty angry with me for missing classes and not completing classes, so i signed full custody to my mother to avoid the state taking custody. After court, they drug tested me and I failed for marijuana and clonopins. I actually had a prescription to clonopin but because my medicaid had lapsed the month before my prescription wasnt current and i was accused of abusing my medication. I was granted 1 hour a week supervised visitation. DSS was not very thrilled with me and tried to present a list of things that I had supposedly done wrong. It was my idea to sign over custody and they had no validation or proof of any of their accusations. The only thing that remained on the list after i told my lawyer they had no evidence was that i was homeless.
Once this happened, I moved to the closest large city with public transportation and refused to bounce around anymore. I worked as a telemarketer for an insurance company but I only made $187 a week. I looked for another job and tried to push for more hours with the company to no avail. I went to parenting classes and drug classes but I did not finish the drug classes. Still at this point I was homeless and every penny i made went to food or to my mom for my son. I didn't bother to have the visitation order changed because at this time I would spend every weekend with them, but only if i could give her money.
In January of this year i moved in with my boyfriend. i had transportaion, a roof over my head and things were starting to look up. i got a job on a horse farm and I made pretty decent money. We saved enough to get a one bedroom apartment for the time being.
In March I found out I was pregnant. I had to quit my job at the farm due to the safety risks and I started working at McDonald's for minimum wage. In July I was put on bedrest due to a condition I developed during my pregnancy. In October, my son was born.
I know that I did wrong in the beginning. I had no clue what to do exactly and I had absolutely no support system. I have been sober for a year now. I'm going back to college in the spring and I plan to get at least a 2 bedroom home with my pell money.
Here is the problem:
My mother recieves aid from the government because she has my son. She is trying to get disability and is lying to them about having my son. She knows that when I get him back she will loose her income. I have mentioned "when i get him back" to her and she screamed at me that i was threatening her lievlyhood.
She refuses to let me see him with no rhyme or reason. Then, when she wants money from me she will let me visit him for the weekend. Recently she has asked if she could move in with me and I told her no. I didn't see my son for 2 months. When I was 8 months pregnant he had surgery done to repair a herniated belly button. She told me if i came to the hospital she would all the cops on me and say that i threatened her and have me thrown in jail. I havent seen my oldest son since october. When she brought him to the hospital to meet his baby brother, they were sick and I wouldn't let her hold the new baby and I told her i didnt appreciate her coming to see us while sick. On her way out the door she told me it would "be a cold day in hell" before i saw my oldest son again. Once again, I have visitation rights, but she calls the cops on me if i try to visit. She took me to court for child support. She told me that if i reported the money I had given her that I would never see my son again. For 2 months before I was put on bedrest I handed her every single paycheck I got, plus paid her child support just so i could visit with him, and since i was not allowed to travel i had to pay her $90 twice to bring him to see me in the last 2 months of my pregnancy plus take her out to eat. It would have costed her $30 dollars total for both visits in gas.
It is becoming more and more apparent that she is mental unstable. She calls me screaming at the top of her lungs cursing me about stuff that i have no clue about. i can also tell that she is not taking as good of care of my son as she would like people to believe. When they came to visit at the hospital I had to say something to him for running around in the room (yes, i had just givin birth and my mother absolutely would not keep an eye on him) but when i went towards him to put him in time out he cowered down and covered his face like i was going to hit him. Also, his daycare is making him see 2 different kinds of therapists because he isnt developing emotionally the way he should.
Clearly it is time for me to get back to work on getting him back. I am taking every measure that i can, saving money for an attorney, saving money for a bigger house because i know i can't get him back living in a one bedroom. how difficult is it going to be for me to get him back? I know I made mistakes but I was young and I tried very hard to make sure my son was taken care of even though I couldnt do it. My mom says that because I signed kinship custody to so many people means that I didn't want him and has told people in my family that I am trying to get her to adopt him, which couldn't be further from the truth. what do i need to do to get my son back?
I gave birth to my oldest son, Michael, when I was 17 years old. I lived with my father until I was 18. I spent the majority of my childhood in DSS custody because my mother left and my father was very physically abusive. When I was 18, my father abused me so bad I almost lost my eye. when i got the opportunity i clammered out from under him, grabbed my one year old son, and left. At that point I was homeless and I had nothing.
After about a month of being homeless, I could not afford child care, nor did I trust any of the people around me enough to watch my son while I looked for work. I tried different shelters but none of them offered childcare and were not in areas that offered public transportation. I had no outlet to get on my feet or better my life for my son and he needed a roof over his head whether i could provide it or not. I signed kinship custody over to a couple i knew that fosters children. They couldn't keep him anymore, so I signed kinship custody to a woman that I knew well. Upon visiting him, i found bruising on him and immediately took him away from the situation. I was still homeless and i could not provide for him so at this point i signed kinship custody to my mother, who was my very last resort. It was always the plan that I would get him back when I was stable.
I agreed to take classes to work towards getting him back to me, even though i had no idea how i would provide for him. it became apparent that without transportation or a place to sleep I would not be able to continue these classes. At this point I hitch hiked back and forth between 5 different counties for a place to lay my head with friends occasionally. Besides that, I slept outside or in laundromats or where ever i could really. DSS was getting pretty angry with me for missing classes and not completing classes, so i signed full custody to my mother to avoid the state taking custody. After court, they drug tested me and I failed for marijuana and clonopins. I actually had a prescription to clonopin but because my medicaid had lapsed the month before my prescription wasnt current and i was accused of abusing my medication. I was granted 1 hour a week supervised visitation. DSS was not very thrilled with me and tried to present a list of things that I had supposedly done wrong. It was my idea to sign over custody and they had no validation or proof of any of their accusations. The only thing that remained on the list after i told my lawyer they had no evidence was that i was homeless.
Once this happened, I moved to the closest large city with public transportation and refused to bounce around anymore. I worked as a telemarketer for an insurance company but I only made $187 a week. I looked for another job and tried to push for more hours with the company to no avail. I went to parenting classes and drug classes but I did not finish the drug classes. Still at this point I was homeless and every penny i made went to food or to my mom for my son. I didn't bother to have the visitation order changed because at this time I would spend every weekend with them, but only if i could give her money.
In January of this year i moved in with my boyfriend. i had transportaion, a roof over my head and things were starting to look up. i got a job on a horse farm and I made pretty decent money. We saved enough to get a one bedroom apartment for the time being.
In March I found out I was pregnant. I had to quit my job at the farm due to the safety risks and I started working at McDonald's for minimum wage. In July I was put on bedrest due to a condition I developed during my pregnancy. In October, my son was born.
I know that I did wrong in the beginning. I had no clue what to do exactly and I had absolutely no support system. I have been sober for a year now. I'm going back to college in the spring and I plan to get at least a 2 bedroom home with my pell money.
Here is the problem:
My mother recieves aid from the government because she has my son. She is trying to get disability and is lying to them about having my son. She knows that when I get him back she will loose her income. I have mentioned "when i get him back" to her and she screamed at me that i was threatening her lievlyhood.
She refuses to let me see him with no rhyme or reason. Then, when she wants money from me she will let me visit him for the weekend. Recently she has asked if she could move in with me and I told her no. I didn't see my son for 2 months. When I was 8 months pregnant he had surgery done to repair a herniated belly button. She told me if i came to the hospital she would all the cops on me and say that i threatened her and have me thrown in jail. I havent seen my oldest son since october. When she brought him to the hospital to meet his baby brother, they were sick and I wouldn't let her hold the new baby and I told her i didnt appreciate her coming to see us while sick. On her way out the door she told me it would "be a cold day in hell" before i saw my oldest son again. Once again, I have visitation rights, but she calls the cops on me if i try to visit. She took me to court for child support. She told me that if i reported the money I had given her that I would never see my son again. For 2 months before I was put on bedrest I handed her every single paycheck I got, plus paid her child support just so i could visit with him, and since i was not allowed to travel i had to pay her $90 twice to bring him to see me in the last 2 months of my pregnancy plus take her out to eat. It would have costed her $30 dollars total for both visits in gas.
It is becoming more and more apparent that she is mental unstable. She calls me screaming at the top of her lungs cursing me about stuff that i have no clue about. i can also tell that she is not taking as good of care of my son as she would like people to believe. When they came to visit at the hospital I had to say something to him for running around in the room (yes, i had just givin birth and my mother absolutely would not keep an eye on him) but when i went towards him to put him in time out he cowered down and covered his face like i was going to hit him. Also, his daycare is making him see 2 different kinds of therapists because he isnt developing emotionally the way he should.
Clearly it is time for me to get back to work on getting him back. I am taking every measure that i can, saving money for an attorney, saving money for a bigger house because i know i can't get him back living in a one bedroom. how difficult is it going to be for me to get him back? I know I made mistakes but I was young and I tried very hard to make sure my son was taken care of even though I couldnt do it. My mom says that because I signed kinship custody to so many people means that I didn't want him and has told people in my family that I am trying to get her to adopt him, which couldn't be further from the truth. what do i need to do to get my son back?
