MS
Here is my other thread https://forum.freeadvice.com/child-custody-visitation-37/does-she-have-enough-change-custody-604155.html
I tried to unlock it and add to it, but it just keeps logging me out, so....
Apparently my ex has fired her first attorney and has hired a new one. I was served yesterday with an amended complaint. I would like help both with legal opinions on her points and help with my answer. Here are her changes in circumstances, along with my answers in bold:
A. (S) is in jeopardy of failing 5th grade.
I found out today that he passed. Yes he struggled, but through hard work and getting him help, he passed with flying colors. Would it be best to keep it simple and just deny this point, or explain that in my answer?
B. (S's) teachers have expressed concern about his behavior.
The only behavior his teachers have expressed concern about to me was his lack of effort on classwork and tests. I have also printed his discipline record for the year. He was written up only one time this entire school year. That was in October 2013, and he was given 12 demerits. Since then, at the start of each 9 weeks after that, 4 demerits were removed for good behavior and he has no demerits.
C. Respondent (me) and his wife refuse to acknowledge joint custody obligations that require joint decisions concerning medical and school issues. Petitioner (her) is not put on school registration cards or emergency contact information. Respondent and wife have advised the school to contact them if Petitioner has lunch at or shows up at (S's) elementary school. Petitioner is not advised of medical issues, tests, or reports until last minute. Children's medical and dental insurance is not kept on a continuous basis and Petitioner is not consulted about the lapse of said insurance, and the types of insurance that Petitioner pays half the premium for is not consulted prior to Respondent and his current wife accepting said insurance coverage.
Petitioner’s information was not always known to Respondent to list on school forms, but when I had it, it was listed. Because Petitioner has always lived a minimum of 8 hours away, emergency contact spots were used for local family members who could actually promptly respond in case of an emergency. The Petitioner has always known what schools the minor children attended, and had the duty and responsibility to be active with the children’s education, but until now has chosen not to. The Respondent and current wife have never advised the children’s schools to contact them if Petitioner were to show up. On one occasion approximately 4 years ago, the school took it upon themselves to do so because they did not know who the Petitioner was when she showed up to eat lunch with (Son), due to her complete lack of involvement. The Respondent has always kept the Petitioner informed of medical issues, to the extent that he has been able to. Again, the Petitioner has a duty and responsibility to contact medical providers directly, but until now has chosen not to. Medical insurance for the minor children is kept on the children. There was a brief lapse because neither Petitioner or Respondent have medical benefits available through their employment, and said coverage is provided by the Respondent’s wife’s employment. The brief lapse was due to a change of employers. Petitioner was timely notified, and has always been consulted about new coverage. Is this too wordy of an answer?
D. (S) is allowed to watch adult movies, television shows, and video games that are inappropriate. (S) does not participate in any extracurricular activities other than playing video games.
(S) is allowed to watch and play video games that the Respondent has deemed that he can watch and play, as is his constitutional right as a parent, and is a parenting choice. Extracurricular activities that (S) has expressed an interest in are not available at his school until he reaches the 7th grade. While in 2nd grade, (S) participated in community T-ball but chose not to the following and subsequent years. (S) recently expressed an interest in joining beginning band and has been signed up to do so this coming school year.
E. The Respondent and wife refuse to follow up on dental orthodontic appointments and do not take the children for critical medical tests in a timely manner.
As far as the orthodontic stuff, I'm assuming she is talking about when our daughter lost her retainer at my ex-wife's house for 5 weeks last summer. The insurance we had switched to in the mean time didn't cover orthodontia, and I didn't have the extra money to pay cash for new retainers. Not sure what she means by the critical medical tests part. Should I just stick to deny and move on?
F. The Parties have an acrimonious relationship, due to Respondent's wife, and are unable to communicate effectively regarding their minor children. Respondent's wife refuses to allow any telephone calls between the Respondent and Petitioner. Further, emails and text messages between Respondent and Petitioner are monitored by the wife and wife responds to those emails/text messages as if she is the Respondent.
The Respondent’s wife has no authority to restrict communication between Petitioner and Respondent. As has been explained to Petitioner several times by the Respondent, the Respondent prefers to keep communication via email when possible to avoid misunderstandings (he said-she said), as the Petitioner has a propensity to distort the facts when there is no proof of what was actually said. All emails from the Respondent to the Petitioner come from the Respondent’s email address, and are written and signed by the Respondent. I would also like to request that Family Wizard be utilized and the cost be split equally. Would this be the proper place (in the answer) to make that request?
G. Respondent and wife refuse to encourage a close relationship between the children and the Petitioner and have so much animosity for the Petitioner they are unable to promote a healthy relationship between the Petitioner and the children. Respondent and wife discuss issues with the children that should not be discussed with the children and attempt to sabotage visits with Petitioner and children.
I don't even know how to answer this other than to simply deny it. None of that has happened. The kids are 17 and almost 12. They are old enough to facilitate their own relationship with their mom. It's not like they're 5 and 6 and need my help setting up Skype, etc.
H. Respondent and wife make disparaging remarks, feelings of ill will, dislike, hatred, lack of respect, and anger towards the Petitioner in the presence of the children.
Again, none of this has happened. Would I just say deny?
I. Minor children are unreasonably punished.
In my house, punishment consists of the following: loss of cell phone privileges, loss of video game/TV privileges, and/or extra nights doing the dishes and taking out the trash. Should I explain that, or just answer with deny and leave it at that?
J. Respondent's current wife is emotionally unstable and not taking medication. Current wife is also pregnant which adds to the instability.
My wife is not unstable. She doesn't take medication for that because she's never been prescribed anything. She is pregnant, but so what? How to best answer this?
K. Respondent's wife has demonstrated irresponsibility when driving the vehicle and puts the children at risk while they are in the vehicle.
This is untrue. Knock on wood, in 20+ years of driving my wife has never had an accident. Her 7 year driving record shows one ticket 2 years ago and the kids were not with her. Just deny, or explain all that and attach her driving record?
L. The Respondent and wife are unable to provide a harmonious atmosphere as they fight in front of and within earshot of the children. Respondent and wife have an ongoing tumultuous relationship.
We've been married for almost 10 years. The kids have lived with us almost 9 years. Do we argue sometimes? Yeah. Fight? No.
Con't in next post...
Here is my other thread https://forum.freeadvice.com/child-custody-visitation-37/does-she-have-enough-change-custody-604155.html
I tried to unlock it and add to it, but it just keeps logging me out, so....
Apparently my ex has fired her first attorney and has hired a new one. I was served yesterday with an amended complaint. I would like help both with legal opinions on her points and help with my answer. Here are her changes in circumstances, along with my answers in bold:
A. (S) is in jeopardy of failing 5th grade.
I found out today that he passed. Yes he struggled, but through hard work and getting him help, he passed with flying colors. Would it be best to keep it simple and just deny this point, or explain that in my answer?
B. (S's) teachers have expressed concern about his behavior.
The only behavior his teachers have expressed concern about to me was his lack of effort on classwork and tests. I have also printed his discipline record for the year. He was written up only one time this entire school year. That was in October 2013, and he was given 12 demerits. Since then, at the start of each 9 weeks after that, 4 demerits were removed for good behavior and he has no demerits.
C. Respondent (me) and his wife refuse to acknowledge joint custody obligations that require joint decisions concerning medical and school issues. Petitioner (her) is not put on school registration cards or emergency contact information. Respondent and wife have advised the school to contact them if Petitioner has lunch at or shows up at (S's) elementary school. Petitioner is not advised of medical issues, tests, or reports until last minute. Children's medical and dental insurance is not kept on a continuous basis and Petitioner is not consulted about the lapse of said insurance, and the types of insurance that Petitioner pays half the premium for is not consulted prior to Respondent and his current wife accepting said insurance coverage.
Petitioner’s information was not always known to Respondent to list on school forms, but when I had it, it was listed. Because Petitioner has always lived a minimum of 8 hours away, emergency contact spots were used for local family members who could actually promptly respond in case of an emergency. The Petitioner has always known what schools the minor children attended, and had the duty and responsibility to be active with the children’s education, but until now has chosen not to. The Respondent and current wife have never advised the children’s schools to contact them if Petitioner were to show up. On one occasion approximately 4 years ago, the school took it upon themselves to do so because they did not know who the Petitioner was when she showed up to eat lunch with (Son), due to her complete lack of involvement. The Respondent has always kept the Petitioner informed of medical issues, to the extent that he has been able to. Again, the Petitioner has a duty and responsibility to contact medical providers directly, but until now has chosen not to. Medical insurance for the minor children is kept on the children. There was a brief lapse because neither Petitioner or Respondent have medical benefits available through their employment, and said coverage is provided by the Respondent’s wife’s employment. The brief lapse was due to a change of employers. Petitioner was timely notified, and has always been consulted about new coverage. Is this too wordy of an answer?
D. (S) is allowed to watch adult movies, television shows, and video games that are inappropriate. (S) does not participate in any extracurricular activities other than playing video games.
(S) is allowed to watch and play video games that the Respondent has deemed that he can watch and play, as is his constitutional right as a parent, and is a parenting choice. Extracurricular activities that (S) has expressed an interest in are not available at his school until he reaches the 7th grade. While in 2nd grade, (S) participated in community T-ball but chose not to the following and subsequent years. (S) recently expressed an interest in joining beginning band and has been signed up to do so this coming school year.
E. The Respondent and wife refuse to follow up on dental orthodontic appointments and do not take the children for critical medical tests in a timely manner.
As far as the orthodontic stuff, I'm assuming she is talking about when our daughter lost her retainer at my ex-wife's house for 5 weeks last summer. The insurance we had switched to in the mean time didn't cover orthodontia, and I didn't have the extra money to pay cash for new retainers. Not sure what she means by the critical medical tests part. Should I just stick to deny and move on?
F. The Parties have an acrimonious relationship, due to Respondent's wife, and are unable to communicate effectively regarding their minor children. Respondent's wife refuses to allow any telephone calls between the Respondent and Petitioner. Further, emails and text messages between Respondent and Petitioner are monitored by the wife and wife responds to those emails/text messages as if she is the Respondent.
The Respondent’s wife has no authority to restrict communication between Petitioner and Respondent. As has been explained to Petitioner several times by the Respondent, the Respondent prefers to keep communication via email when possible to avoid misunderstandings (he said-she said), as the Petitioner has a propensity to distort the facts when there is no proof of what was actually said. All emails from the Respondent to the Petitioner come from the Respondent’s email address, and are written and signed by the Respondent. I would also like to request that Family Wizard be utilized and the cost be split equally. Would this be the proper place (in the answer) to make that request?
G. Respondent and wife refuse to encourage a close relationship between the children and the Petitioner and have so much animosity for the Petitioner they are unable to promote a healthy relationship between the Petitioner and the children. Respondent and wife discuss issues with the children that should not be discussed with the children and attempt to sabotage visits with Petitioner and children.
I don't even know how to answer this other than to simply deny it. None of that has happened. The kids are 17 and almost 12. They are old enough to facilitate their own relationship with their mom. It's not like they're 5 and 6 and need my help setting up Skype, etc.
H. Respondent and wife make disparaging remarks, feelings of ill will, dislike, hatred, lack of respect, and anger towards the Petitioner in the presence of the children.
Again, none of this has happened. Would I just say deny?
I. Minor children are unreasonably punished.
In my house, punishment consists of the following: loss of cell phone privileges, loss of video game/TV privileges, and/or extra nights doing the dishes and taking out the trash. Should I explain that, or just answer with deny and leave it at that?
J. Respondent's current wife is emotionally unstable and not taking medication. Current wife is also pregnant which adds to the instability.
My wife is not unstable. She doesn't take medication for that because she's never been prescribed anything. She is pregnant, but so what? How to best answer this?
K. Respondent's wife has demonstrated irresponsibility when driving the vehicle and puts the children at risk while they are in the vehicle.
This is untrue. Knock on wood, in 20+ years of driving my wife has never had an accident. Her 7 year driving record shows one ticket 2 years ago and the kids were not with her. Just deny, or explain all that and attach her driving record?
L. The Respondent and wife are unable to provide a harmonious atmosphere as they fight in front of and within earshot of the children. Respondent and wife have an ongoing tumultuous relationship.
We've been married for almost 10 years. The kids have lived with us almost 9 years. Do we argue sometimes? Yeah. Fight? No.
Con't in next post...
About the cooking thing....whatever. He can cook here.
