sexual assualt leads to child support

[mistybeakley]

What is the name of your state?missouri
my fiancee was sexually assaulted in his sleep by a girlfriend he was living with. they had no sexual contact beforehand. anyway suddenly she has told us she has a 15 month old daughter. He took dna found out she was his. the mother is on welfare and wants child support. what can he do? why should he have to pay for a child that born born from this "rape". Being humiliated he never pressed charges, he just moved out in the am. What rights does he have. We were told that in MIssouri if a couple was not married one parent could kepe the child and not let the other have visitation without cord order. can he get her on a visitation and not return her and have the mother take him to court? Someone please help..also they are making support retroactive so he is already 1300 dollars behind on child support...Help!

 

[king sol]

OK....what to say, what to say!

The mother probably isn't the one coming after dad for child support. If mom is receiving welfare for child, child support collection/receipt is taken out of the hands of the parent and child support services for the state/county open a case for reimbersement. Mom will possibly get approx. $50 mo. of current support, the rest will repay $$ dished out by government.

I will leave the "rape" advice request for someone who is willing to say it like they see it!!!

As far as child support is concerned, regardless of how a child was conceived, it has the right to be supported by both parents.

I hope that your boyfriend will see what a gift he has been given, a child. Do not allow yourself or boyfriend to use "unloving" or "deceptive" methods to get the child away from mom, especially because of $$ issues.

It is always in the best interest of the child to have a loving and continuous relationship with both parents. The best legal advice is "do what is in the best interest of the child" and avoid court by working out matter with other parent.

Good luck and brace yourself for the "opinions" you will surely receive from the responses you are undoubtedly going to receive.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state?missouri
my fiancee was sexually assaulted in his sleep by a girlfriend he was living with. they had no sexual contact beforehand. anyway suddenly she has told us she has a 15 month old daughter. He took dna found out she was his. the mother is on welfare and wants child support. what can he do? why should he have to pay for a child that born born from this "rape". Being humiliated he never pressed charges, he just moved out in the am. What rights does he have. We were told that in MIssouri if a couple was not married one parent could kepe the child and not let the other have visitation without cord order. can he get her on a visitation and not return her and have the mother take him to court? Someone please help..also they are making support retroactive so he is already 1300 dollars behind on child support...Help!

Your fiance is a total stranger to this child. Obviously she is on welfare and the state is involved since they are asking for back support. Therefore the state at least has recognized her custody. Its unlikely that he is even going to GET visitation with the child until there are court orders. So forget the whole idea of "keeping" the child. That would be a just plain foolish thing to do.

Honey, if your fiance was living with this woman then don't you feel that you are being a bit naive in believing that he was "raped".

 

[mistybeakley]

well, im asking for advice not critisicm. Had i not known about the assault before learning of the child and had i not been with him during counseling ans so forth i probably wouldnt have believed him either. But none of us has a right to cast stones. The situation of him living with her wasnt like you would imagine there were others in the home they were initially roommates...the relationship hadnt progressed to that level, this happened after they had dated a few times and then both decided to just be friends.Why would I have any reason to doubt him considering he told me when I first met him. If he was just telling me this now I wouldnt believe it. As for the first one who replied, he does know she is a gift, he does want a relationship wiht his daughter. You place yourself in that situation finding out one day you had a child that you missed out on for 15 months. You deal with the fact that everyone is telling you...you pay for her..shes yours but too bad we dont have to let you see her..after your getting through with what happened..most people do not believe a man can be assaulted sexually by a woman,it has happened and there are legal cases to prove it.I myself was once so NAIVE to believe it couldnt happen to a man...I appreciate your replies...keep them coming please...

 

[mistybeakley]

p.s... it has nothing to do with money..it has everything to do with the child being raised by someone who for 15 months intentionally alienated the child from her father. Raped her of her chance to know and love her. Maybe its because she was trying to hide what she had done. after all she saw him with his other children and i have seen letters she had wrote to him about how impressed she was that he was such a good father to his children,,,,,he loves children he has 3 others besides her. Shouldnt she have to answer for that?

 

[BelizeBreeze]

And the plain fact is, until he Files for custody and visitation in court, he is, as was told to you, a legal stranger to the child. YOU have no legal standing to do or say anthing.

So, if your dear one isn't doing anything but pissing and moaning about it, maybe YOU should quit throwing stones long enough to view his inaction in a different light.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Misty, if this is the same man you were involved with in August https://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?t=190509 then his accusation of being raped is the least of your problems. You have asked the same questions in the past about his other children and you were told that he needs an attorney and that he must file for visitation. If he keeps the child without that, it is kidnapping. He seems to continually use you to try to get custody to avoid paying child support all the while you are getting evicted? Wake up! You are aiding and abetting and attempting and/or planning on kidnapping could be seen as conspiracy. If he is claiming he was raped to explain his last child, what will he claim you did when they tack him down if he abducts his child?

While it is possible for conception to occur without intercourse from very determined sperm in preejaculate, it is even less likely that he was raped and that it resulted in pregnancy and a confirmed paternity. He has 3 other children by how many other mothers? He was not raped, he didn't report it, if anything most likely her raped her, had moved out after threatening her if she claimed she was raped and since they lived together would be hard to prove, just as he cannot prove it. She may have waited 15 months because she was scared of him and wanted to protect her child.

Misty, he is scamming you, from day one. Most likely he has a personality disorder which may include pathological lies. His story, including the timing of it is very typical tactic to manipulate you. If they were living together and dating, they had sex. If you are in counseling with him, you need to discuss most of his stories. If you are having sex, make sure you are using birth control and think very seriously about whether or not you want to continue this relationship, which at least appears to be psychologically abusive. Please get some help.

 

[stealth2]

he loves children he has 3 others besides her. Shouldnt she have to answer for that?

But back in August:

he only has those two girls "OUT THERE".

So.... since August and today he's found out about two other children he has?? Dare we ask how many mothers? Is this REALLY the sort of guy you feel is a good example for your own children?

 

[BelizeBreeze]

"When Skanks Collide"

It's thrilling...
It's spine tingling...

It's coming to a trailer near you soon!

 

[rmet4nzkx]

"When Skanks Collide"

It's thrilling...
It's spine tingling...

It's coming to a trailer near you soon!

AHHHH! Breeze,
Don't you believe this poor guy was raped?
And with so much child support doesn't have money for another child, an attorney or condoms!

 

[BelizeBreeze]

AHHHH! Breeze,
Don't you believe this poor guy was raped?

I should be so lucky

 

[ikecvfd2]

He was not raped, he didn't report it, if anything most likely her raped her, had moved out after threatening her if she claimed she was raped and since they lived together would be hard to prove, just as he cannot prove it. She may have waited 15 months because she was scared of him and wanted to protect her child.

These are the kind of responses that blow me away. Does it all sound legit; probably not. But what info do you have to be able to make such a bold (and stupid) statement. You are going on very little info from a post. Does the guy sound like he is scamming her, sure! Does his whole rape story sound a little iffy, yes! But you do not have enough info to come out and say "He was not raped." And you sure as hell do not have enough to turn it around and say, "most likely he raped her." You have lost all credibility if you are going to go out and try to make statements as though they are facts that you have research and proven. You yourself even say in your post it is less likely that he was raped and it resulted in conception. I think we can all agree with that. But that doesn't mean it is impossible, and therefore you have no basis to draw such a conclussion. It really amazes me how some people try to act intelligent and then make factual statements about something they know little to nothing about.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

These are the kind of responses that blow me away. Does it all sound legit; probably not. But what info do you have to be able to make such a bold (and stupid) statement. You are going on very little info from a post. Does the guy sound like he is scamming her, sure! Does his whole rape story sound a little iffy, yes! But you do not have enough info to come out and say "He was not raped." And you sure as hell do not have enough to turn it around and say, "most likely he raped her." You have lost all credibility if you are going to go out and try to make statements as though they are facts that you have research and proven. You yourself even say in your post it is less likely that he was raped and it resulted in conception. I think we can all agree with that. But that doesn't mean it is impossible, and therefore you have no basis to draw such a conclussion. It really amazes me how some people try to act intelligent and then make factual statements about something they know little to nothing about.

Obviously you can't and/or didn't read very carefully, MOST LIKELY is NOT a statement of fact! It is posing a theory, and OP hasn't rejected or qualified it in any way, shape or form. I also read OP's other threads, that was considered in my theory of an alternative to his story which is full of holes.

As an expert witness, a part of what I do is evaluate the evidence and theorize the most likely theory and alternative theories, both of which were acknowledged. You are not familiar with the higher requirements for expert's or the methods we use. You even agreed what I posed was the most likely story, which is all I said.

OP has no way to get a straight story from this man and MOST LIKELY won't share it with us if she does. This guy has at least 3 or 4 children from as many mothers, and there is a different story for each, all with holes in them, just another has caught up with him. OP will become another story.

Please get your facts correct before you complain about other posters advice.

 

[ikecvfd2]

Obviously you can't and/or didn't read very carefully, MOST LIKELY is NOT a statement of fact! It is posing a theory, and OP hasn't rejected or qualified it in any way, shape or form. I also read OP's other threads, that was considered in my theory of an alternative to his story which is full of holes.

As an expert witness, a part of what I do is evaluate the evidence and theorize the most likely theory and alternative theories, both of which were acknowledged. You are not familiar with the higher requirements for expert's or the methods we use. You even agreed what I posed was the most likely story, which is all I said.

OP has no way to get a straight story from this man and MOST LIKELY won't share it with us if she does. This guy has at least 3 or 4 children from as many mothers, and there is a different story for each, all with holes in them, just another has caught up with him. OP will become another story.

Please get your facts correct before you complain about other posters advice.

First of all, you said "He was not raped." There was no "most likely" in that statement. Secondly you still do not have enough info to even make the comment that he MOST LIKELY raped her either. It's bad enough to flat out say that someone who claims rape is lying (especially with very little evidence) but then to turn around and accuse him of raping her. I certainly hope you don't go up onto the stand in court and testify as to something when you have as little info about it as you do in this situation. I don't care what other posts you have read especially since those posts don't deal directly with this situation. Do you really think posts on a forum give you enough credible info to make such a conclusion? Is the guy a loser? It would seem so, but that doesn't take away or even lessen the possibility that it happened the way he said. I'm not convinced he was raped either, but I am not arrogant enough to declare him a liar and then come up with an alternate theory; because the fact remains what he claims is possible no matter how unprobable and there is no evidence to dis-prove it. (past actions my this guy do not mean what he claims couldn't have happened) I certainly would never turn around and accuse someone of raping someone else just based on info from a forum.
Bottom line: You need to make sure you have all the necessary facts straight before you go declaring people liars, and accusing them of rape.

You sound like the kind of "expert" that will just make up any story for anyone who pays you enough. However, I'm not going to say that is MOST LIKELY because I don't have enough info.

 

[king sol]

Children....children!

How about just serving up some good old fashion "advice"? The service provided in these forums should be well-intentioned and constructive. Belittling those seeking a friendly word and helpful guideance should be handled with care. It is just plain mean, judging and poking fun at others lives for pure amusement!