So what is your advice to OP?ikecvfd2 said:First of all, you said "He was not raped." There was no "most likely" in that statement.
No! What I said was, "While it is possible for conception to occur without intercourse from very determined sperm in preejaculate, it is even less likely that he was raped....... He was not raped, he didn't report it, if anything most likely her raped her, had moved out after threatening her if she claimed she was raped and since they lived together would be hard to prove, just as he cannot prove it. She may have waited 15 months because she was scared of him and wanted to protect her child." Many women wait to name the father out of fear or it may take that much time to track him down, this guy has children in many states so he moves around.
Please quit mis-quoting me to prove a point that doesn't exist except in your troubled mind? OP reported that her BF claimed to have been raped, she said she believed him, I was merely giving her reasons to question his claims, you would encourage her to trust this man and be abused by him? If he is telling the truth, it will work out, other wise he will move on again and again as he has done in the past, getting as many women pregnant as possible and abandoning them and the children.
Secondly you still do not have enough info to even make the comment that he MOST LIKELY raped her either. It's an opinion based on information provided by OP.
It's bad enough to flat out say that someone who claims rape is lying (especially with very little evidence) You are right, there was NO evidence he was raped, none what so ever, all I did was point it out and how slim the possibility was that he had been.
but then to turn around and accuse him of raping her. That woiuld explain why he left so quickly, he obviously wasn't a virgin with a string of babys across the south, and the counter story to his next girlfriend to manipulate her into trusting him. It's a theory, and she is the one who bore a child after 1 encounter that he slept through! What would you believe?
I certainly hope you don't go up onto the stand in court and testify as to something when you have as little info about it as you do in this situation.
I base it on what I have.
I don't care what other posts you have read especially since those posts don't deal directly with this situation.
They DO have to do with this situation, she has been advocating for him to gain custody of the other children so he doesn't have to pay child support, many of the women were not competent and lost their children and he abandonded them. The most recent is just another in a string, it is very important to read the other posts for information.
Do you really think posts on a forum give you enough credible info to make such a conclusion?
We have to work with what we get, we beg them to tell the truth, sometimes it is more obvious than not when things don't jive or the story changes.
I am not arrogant enough to declare him a liar
But you are arrogant to lie about what I said or pose a theory based on known facts.
the fact remains what he claims is possible no matter how unprobable and there is no evidence to dis-prove it. (past actions my this guy do not mean what he claims couldn't have happened)
The world is not black and white, there is a lot of gray, the nature of advice is a judgement call, what you are saying is that every criminal who claims to be innocent should be let go if they claim their innocence.
I certainly would never turn around and accuse someone of raping someone else just based on info from a forum.
I didn't accuse I said it was more likely that he was not and she was raped, there was more evidence that she was raped, because she bore a child and paternity was established.
Bottom line: You need to make sure you have all the necessary facts straight before you go declaring people liars, and accusing them of rape.
Right YOU should be sure to do that!!!!! I didn't declare anyone a liar or accuse them of rape, YOU need to read!!!!
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No! What I said was, "While it is possible for conception to occur without intercourse from very determined sperm in preejaculate, it is even less likely that he was raped....... He was not raped, he didn't report it, if anything most likely her raped her, had moved out after threatening her if she claimed she was raped and since they lived together would be hard to prove, just as he cannot prove it. She may have waited 15 months because she was scared of him and wanted to protect her child." Many women wait to name the father out of fear or it may take that much time to track him down, this guy has children in many states so he moves around.
I love how in your own rebuttal you say again exactly what I quoted you as saying which is "He was not raped" Apparently you have the reading problem. And I love how you conveniently put the ... in there to try to make it look good for you. What you really said was, "While it is possible for conception to occur without intercourse from very determined sperm in preejaculate, it is even less likely that he was raped and that it resulted in pregnancy and a confirmed paternity. He has 3 other children by how many other mothers?" (you could have kept your credibility if you stopped here.) "He was not raped..." etc
Please quit mis-quoting me to prove a point that doesn't exist except in your troubled mind?
Are you telling me something or asking me something? And all I quoted you as saying is "He was not raped." which you again quoted above.
OP reported that her BF claimed to have been raped, she said she believed him, I was merely giving her reasons to question his claims, you would encourage her to trust this man and be abused by him?
I wholeheartedly agree that she should question his claims. I am not saying I think he was raped. I don't believe he was either, but I am not going to come out and say he wasn't as though I know. I also never said she should trust him. (again apparently you have a reading problem.)
Secondly you still do not have enough info to even make the comment that he MOST LIKELY raped her either. It's an opinion based on information provided by OP.
Then state so when you say it, and don't make it out to be an accusation.
It's bad enough to flat out say that someone who claims rape is lying (especially with very little evidence) You are right, there was NO evidence he was raped, none what so ever, all I did was point it out and how slim the possibility was that he had been.
There is as much evidence that he was raped as there is that he raped her. i.e. ZERO
but then to turn around and accuse him of raping her. That woiuld explain why he left so quickly, he obviously wasn't a virgin with a string of babys across the south, and the counter story to his next girlfriend to manipulate her into trusting him. It's a theory, and she is the one who bore a child after 1 encounter that he slept through! What would you believe?
Wouldn't him getting raped by her also explain him leaving so quickly or would you still live with someone who raped you? Your theory is a giant leap from one extreme to the other. Did you ever consider it was concentual?
I certainly hope you don't go up onto the stand in court and testify as to something when you have as little info about it as you do in this situation.
I base it on what I have.
That's the problem. If you don't have enough info, you should be drawing conclussions.
I don't care what other posts you have read especially since those posts don't deal directly with this situation.
They DO have to do with this situation, she has been advocating for him to gain custody of the other children so he doesn't have to pay child support, many of the women were not competent and lost their children and he abandonded them. The most recent is just another in a string, it is very important to read the other posts for information.
The speak to the man's character, yes. But of this exact situation.
Do you really think posts on a forum give you enough credible info to make such a conclusion?
We have to work with what we get, we beg them to tell the truth, sometimes it is more obvious than not when things don't jive or the story changes.
I am not arrogant enough to declare him a liar
But you are arrogant to lie about what I said or pose a theory based on known facts.
Don't call me a liar. I quoted what you said verbatem.
the fact remains what he claims is possible no matter how unprobable and there is no evidence to dis-prove it. (past actions my this guy do not mean what he claims couldn't have happened)
The world is not black and white, there is a lot of gray, the nature of advice is a judgement call, what you are saying is that every criminal who claims to be innocent should be let go if they claim their innocence.
Again you have trouble reading. Never did I say she should take what this guy said at face value, nor do I believe that if someone claims innocence they are being truthful. But you apparently think that just because someone is guilty of past misdeeds they are automatically guilty of anything they are accused of.
I certainly would never turn around and accuse someone of raping someone else just based on info from a forum.
I didn't accuse I said it was more likely that he was not and she was raped, there was more evidence that she was raped, because she bore a child and paternity was established.
Where is the evidence that she was raped? The fact that she bore a child and that it was his only proves that they had intercourse in some way. It does not prove rape either way. My wife bore a child and it is mine. Are you saying that proves I raped her?
Bottom line: You need to make sure you have all the necessary facts straight before you go declaring people liars, and accusing them of rape.
Right YOU should be sure to do that!!!!! I didn't declare anyone a liar or accuse them of rape, YOU need to read!!!!
You just earlier said I was a liar about what you said, which is crap. Apparently you not only need to read what I wrote again, but you need to look back over what you wrote.
My whole point is that you can't make statements like, "He was not raped" when you have no where near enough info to go on. That's all. otherwise my advice is similar to yours. She needs to ditch the loser, and get on with her life.
I love how in your own rebuttal you say again exactly what I quoted you as saying which is "He was not raped" Apparently you have the reading problem. And I love how you conveniently put the ... in there to try to make it look good for you. What you really said was, "While it is possible for conception to occur without intercourse from very determined sperm in preejaculate, it is even less likely that he was raped and that it resulted in pregnancy and a confirmed paternity. He has 3 other children by how many other mothers?" (you could have kept your credibility if you stopped here.) "He was not raped..." etc
Please quit mis-quoting me to prove a point that doesn't exist except in your troubled mind?
Are you telling me something or asking me something? And all I quoted you as saying is "He was not raped." which you again quoted above.
OP reported that her BF claimed to have been raped, she said she believed him, I was merely giving her reasons to question his claims, you would encourage her to trust this man and be abused by him?
I wholeheartedly agree that she should question his claims. I am not saying I think he was raped. I don't believe he was either, but I am not going to come out and say he wasn't as though I know. I also never said she should trust him. (again apparently you have a reading problem.)
Secondly you still do not have enough info to even make the comment that he MOST LIKELY raped her either. It's an opinion based on information provided by OP.
Then state so when you say it, and don't make it out to be an accusation.
It's bad enough to flat out say that someone who claims rape is lying (especially with very little evidence) You are right, there was NO evidence he was raped, none what so ever, all I did was point it out and how slim the possibility was that he had been.
There is as much evidence that he was raped as there is that he raped her. i.e. ZERO
but then to turn around and accuse him of raping her. That woiuld explain why he left so quickly, he obviously wasn't a virgin with a string of babys across the south, and the counter story to his next girlfriend to manipulate her into trusting him. It's a theory, and she is the one who bore a child after 1 encounter that he slept through! What would you believe?
Wouldn't him getting raped by her also explain him leaving so quickly or would you still live with someone who raped you? Your theory is a giant leap from one extreme to the other. Did you ever consider it was concentual?
I certainly hope you don't go up onto the stand in court and testify as to something when you have as little info about it as you do in this situation.
I base it on what I have.
That's the problem. If you don't have enough info, you should be drawing conclussions.
I don't care what other posts you have read especially since those posts don't deal directly with this situation.
They DO have to do with this situation, she has been advocating for him to gain custody of the other children so he doesn't have to pay child support, many of the women were not competent and lost their children and he abandonded them. The most recent is just another in a string, it is very important to read the other posts for information.
The speak to the man's character, yes. But of this exact situation.
Do you really think posts on a forum give you enough credible info to make such a conclusion?
We have to work with what we get, we beg them to tell the truth, sometimes it is more obvious than not when things don't jive or the story changes.
I am not arrogant enough to declare him a liar
But you are arrogant to lie about what I said or pose a theory based on known facts.
Don't call me a liar. I quoted what you said verbatem.
the fact remains what he claims is possible no matter how unprobable and there is no evidence to dis-prove it. (past actions my this guy do not mean what he claims couldn't have happened)
The world is not black and white, there is a lot of gray, the nature of advice is a judgement call, what you are saying is that every criminal who claims to be innocent should be let go if they claim their innocence.
Again you have trouble reading. Never did I say she should take what this guy said at face value, nor do I believe that if someone claims innocence they are being truthful. But you apparently think that just because someone is guilty of past misdeeds they are automatically guilty of anything they are accused of.
I certainly would never turn around and accuse someone of raping someone else just based on info from a forum.
I didn't accuse I said it was more likely that he was not and she was raped, there was more evidence that she was raped, because she bore a child and paternity was established.
Where is the evidence that she was raped? The fact that she bore a child and that it was his only proves that they had intercourse in some way. It does not prove rape either way. My wife bore a child and it is mine. Are you saying that proves I raped her?
Bottom line: You need to make sure you have all the necessary facts straight before you go declaring people liars, and accusing them of rape.
Right YOU should be sure to do that!!!!! I didn't declare anyone a liar or accuse them of rape, YOU need to read!!!!
You just earlier said I was a liar about what you said, which is crap. Apparently you not only need to read what I wrote again, but you need to look back over what you wrote.
My whole point is that you can't make statements like, "He was not raped" when you have no where near enough info to go on. That's all. otherwise my advice is similar to yours. She needs to ditch the loser, and get on with her life.
ikecvfd2,
You quoted out of context, each time leaving out the qualifying phrase, That is why I was careful to include the entire text, your quoting out of context, is mis quoting. I said, "less likely that he was raped....... He was not raped, he didn't report it," He didn't report it, if it isn't reported, it didn't happen, that is a fact. If he had reported his "rape" to a counselor, a doctor, the police in a timely manner, he might have some sort of claim, it might not be provable but as it is telling it to a future girlfriend well after the fact, hearsay, and without substantion, his claim is SLANDER, not opinion, which by definition is a LIE. Her claim that he is the father is substantiated by the DNA test.
You quoted out of context, each time leaving out the qualifying phrase, That is why I was careful to include the entire text, your quoting out of context, is mis quoting. I said, "less likely that he was raped....... He was not raped, he didn't report it," He didn't report it, if it isn't reported, it didn't happen, that is a fact. If he had reported his "rape" to a counselor, a doctor, the police in a timely manner, he might have some sort of claim, it might not be provable but as it is telling it to a future girlfriend well after the fact, hearsay, and without substantion, his claim is SLANDER, not opinion, which by definition is a LIE. Her claim that he is the father is substantiated by the DNA test.
rmet4nzkx said:
You again left out the important part your phrase said "less likely that he was raped and that it resulted in pregnancy and a confirmed paternity."
Which you then followed with, "He has 3 other children by how many other mothers?" and then in a new and seperate phrase you said, "He was not raped, he didn't report it."
rmet4nzkx said:
You are just showing your ignorance. Are you aware that less than half of all rapes that occur are reported? Are you saying that anyone who is raped but doesn't report it to the police immediately out of fear or embarasssment is then a liar when they finally confide in a loved one about it? Based on what you are saying when someone, anyone, is raped; if they don't report it soon they better not ever say anything about it again or else they are guilty of slander. What a sick person you are. You expect someone who is raped to carry that with them the rest of their lives and let it tear them up inside all just because they were to affraid or embarassed to report it.
rmet4nzkx said:
That would make your accusation that he MOST LIKELY raped her just as slanderous as you are going on hearsay, and have no substantion of it.
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BelizeBreeze
Senior Member
Will The Two Of You Shut The Hell Up?
BelizeBreeze
Senior Member
SHE? Do you REALLY want me to join this cat fight?ikecvfd2 said:She was talking to you too, moron.
All right. Now that we've had our fun, shall we move on. I think what both rmet4nzkx and I would like to say is, the guy sounds like a real loser, and may be scamming yet another woman, so it would be a good idea to leave him be and move on with your life. Am I expressing your opinion correctly rmet4nzkx?
Now lets all shake hands and go on about our business.
Now lets all shake hands and go on about our business.
LdiJ
Senior Member
ikecvfd2 said:All right. Now that we've had our fun, shall we move on. I think what both rmet4nzkx and I would like to say is, the guy sounds like a real loser, and may be scamming yet another woman, so it would be a good idea to leave him be and move on with your life. Am I expressing your opinion correctly rmet4nzkx?
Now lets all shake hands and go on about our business.
Rape is a crime of violence. While it is technically possible for a woman to rape a man, its very difficult to prove...because, biologically its really tough, if not almost impossible, to make a man do "it" if his isn't inclined.
Its really "suspect" in court if a man tries to claim rape against a woman....particularly when its 9 months plus 15 months after the fact and directly in conjuction with a child support case.
Its even more "suspect" if the man was living with the woman prior to the "rape".
The OP is living in fantasyland if she is believing her fiance's story...and anyone defending her position is living there too. No court will believe it...that is reality.
M
mistybeakley
Guest
he has now 4 children, one of which is with me...and to let you know...he now has custody of ALL his children except the new one. You know the poor choices he made in his life have no effect on what kind of parent he is.He is a great father, and I was only asking for advice, not your opinion. And further note that this morning at preliminary child support hearing, mother did admit to assualt, saying her "chances" at motherhood were running out and she didnt think he would really mind. You should also know that since child has been born mother has been declared to have mental problems, possibly rendering her unfit to parent alone. He is now working with the prosecutor on agreed visitation, she asked if she gave him JOINT custody would they not prosecute her, prosecuter says he really doesnt have a choice, its states problem now but they could work out a plea for sexual misconduct or the like. He doesnt want her punished, he really just wants his daughter, he feels like he has been alienated from being a parent to this child and feels that him and child are victims. Also to the man who said HE raped HER, she is the one with the criminal record not him.He is only guilty of making poor choices, Im sure we can all relate.
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