So my 11 year old calls me crying..

[osmosis]

What is the name of your state? Florida

history -> https://forum.freeadvice.com/search.php?do=finduser&u=338700&starteronly=1

the short version: despite my best efforts, my 3 children are still living with a baby sitter and are now sharing their 2 bedroom mobile home with 3 adults and an infant. Mom is showing signs of psychosis and making great attempts at PAS. She still works nights giving her no time with the kids. She's been asking me to modify my weekends so that she can have some time with the kids on her thursday and or friday off, to which i have been amenable.

i finally said "no, that's my time." to her yesterday. she agreed and we hung up. she called me back a few minutes later and threatened to withhold visitation from me because she doesn't want to meet me at the designated spot, but somewhere more convenient for her and more difficult for me. (we live 100 miles apart) so pending this friday's events she may have a contempt charge.

she has also informed me that if i come within 100 feet of her at our daughter's fifth grade graduation she will make a scene (Florida DVI). There is no where in the school cafeteria that will be 100 feet away from her. somewhere in my paperwork it says that i may come within 100 feet of her at these events but may not make direct contact with her. i'll bring it with me so that if and when she's makes a scene she'll look like a fool.

tonight my 11 year old daughter calls me crying and informs me that she is scared to be where she is, scared of her mommy and wants to come home (my house). i explained that it was not going to be overnight but that i am doing whatever i can do to make this right for her and my 2 sons. all three children (ages 11, 8 and 6) are literally begging me to take them from their mother. i don't feel the children are in immediate danger physically, but her mother is emotionally and verbally abusive towards her. the only "proof" i have is my daughter's word. fortunately her mother and step father were at work during the phone call.

i suggested to her that she try to speak with her school counselor tomorrow to see what the counselor suggests. i'm not sure this is a case for child protective services, but there has to be something i can do to get the kids help sooner than filing a motion for custody and GAL, then having to wait until the court gets around to it.

any suggestions?

 

[Just Blue]

Did she assure the Judge during the last hearing that she was moving to a larger place and changing shifts?

 

[osmosis]

Did she assure the Judge during the last hearing that she was moving to a larger place and changing shifts?

yes she did. due to me not requesting a recording of the hearing prior to the hearing i have no way to prove that. stupid hind-sight.

everything is the same except for the addition of the baby and the 20 year old step brother.

 

[CJane]

yes she did. due to me not requesting a recording of the hearing prior to the hearing i have no way to prove that. stupid hind-sight.

everything is the same except for the addition of the baby and the 20 year old step brother.

Didn't you also relocate the 100 miles away after the order?

 

[osmosis]

i only moved 50 miles away. she'd moved the same distance but in the other direction.

she's been meeting me half way, as per the court order since i moved. now she refuses to. i told the kids just a moment ago that i'm going to meet her at the police dept near her home rather than miss out on time with our kids. i don't want to play games.

order says that should the residential parent move out of the county where the order was filed that they are responsible for meeting the ncp half way for exchanges, regardless of my home location. she moved out of county during the custody dispute last year.

 

[wileybunch]

i'm not sure this is a case for child protective services, but there has to be something i can do to get the kids help sooner than filing a motion for custody and GAL, then having to wait until the court gets around to it.

any suggestions?

It doesn't seem like there's anything here that's a true "emergency", but you could try to file for an emergency order to change custody temporarily pending a custody hearing that would come later on the regular calendar. Worst case you wouldn't get the temporary order, but would still get on calendar for the custody hearing anyway.

Regardless if you have a tape of the hearing, isn't one made and you can order a copy?
Is that bigger place and change in work schedule in the minute order?
One would think the judge made note of that, but too bad it wasn't actually in the order.

 

[osmosis]

It doesn't seem like there's anything here that's a true "emergency", but you could try to file for an emergency order to change custody temporarily pending a custody hearing that would come later on the regular calendar. Worst case you wouldn't get the temporary order, but would still get on calendar for the custody hearing anyway.

Regardless if you have a tape of the hearing, isn't one made and you can order a copy?
Is that bigger place and change in work schedule in the minute order?
One would think the judge made note of that, but too bad it wasn't actually in the order.

I'm calling today to verify the existence of some sort of record of the hearing with the clerk's office. That would definitely help us out. I believe that when I called them last year about this they told me that unless I request a transcript be created during the hearing that there would not be one.. but there has to be something. At the end of the hearing we walked away with nothing, and a few days later I received the final judgment in the mail stating that my motions were denied, but not laying out any specifics.


ETA: The closest thing I can find to an emergency temporary custody order is this, and this isn't going to work, as I am the NCP.

EMERGENCY VERIFIED MOTION FOR CHILD PICK-UP ORDER
When should this form be used?
This form should only be used in an emergency by a
person who has a pre-existing legal right to physical possession of a minor child. This means that
you already have a court order awarding you legal custody of the child(ren) OR you are the birth mother of
one or more children born out of wedlock and no court order has addressed any other person’s parental rights.

 

[wileybunch]

Just b/c there isn't an online form for that specific action doesn't mean you can't file a motion for an emergency order. Why don't you consult an attorney on this and then decide which way to go? The worst case is that you'll get into court on a regular child custody motion. Right now you're not on the calendar for anything.

 

[osmosis]

Just b/c there isn't an online form for that specific action doesn't mean you can't file a motion for an emergency order. Why don't you consult an attorney on this and then decide which way to go? The worst case is that you'll get into court on a regular child custody motion. Right now you're not on the calendar for anything.

I would have to limit it to *just* a consultation as I do not have the money necessary to retain legal council. The low-income legal assistance program tells me that they can not assist me because they helped her during the initial divorce, so it would be a conflict of interest.

I will try the "find a lawyer" feature here and see if I get any better advice than what you all have given thus far. Thanks for your assistance, wileybunch.

 

[wileybunch]

I would have to limit it to *just* a consultation as I do not have the money necessary to retain legal council.

That's what I was suggesting. You need to understand what you're seeking and how to go about it, what's realistic, given you're representing yourself (and since you've lost on motions previously you felt were slam dunks).

 

[osmosis]

The attorney said:

What you really need is a modification action - coupled with a custody evaluation. I don't think an emergency motion will do it.

It sounds like the situation borders on abuse. You may want to call the child abuse hot line. Doing so may open a can of worms you cannot easily close. But it is certainly a low cost (free) option.

Even though you have no money - I still should say the obvious: you need a private investigator that can document the ongoing situation over a period of time. The PI can then testify in your modification action.

BTW- just take any motion, doctor it up yourself, and place the word "emergency" in the title. There is nothing special about the specific format - it just needs to be the truth.

I have visitation with the children today at 3 pm. I will get an opportunity to speak with them more in depth, as during the phone conversation their baby sitter was eavesdropping. I'll keep you posted on what I find. I'm seriously considering calling the abuse hot line just to see if the psychological and emotional things mom is doing is considered abuse by their standards. My wife is a PI, so that part is already taken care of. She's been tracking this since the beginning.

As our daughter explains it, when Mom is home and the family is conversing over dinner, for example, regardless of the topic of conversation Mom will blurt out "You don't remember what he did to you?!? I'm really glad you don't remember because it was awful." and never reveal what it is I supposedly did to them. She also tells them violent fictional stories of how I supposedly abused her physically while she was pregnant with our children, which is completely false and totally uncalled for. Back when we first divorced she used to tell our then 3 year old son that if I knew where they lived I would sneak in while they were sleeping and kill her. When one of the children asks Mom to stop talking about me like that, usually because she is scaring them, she disciplines them for talking back or accuses them of defending me and gets angry with them.

Our daughter also went on to say that when she was 6 her Mom sat her down and explained that one day I was going to take them to court and the judge was going to make her pick who she wanted to live with. She then made her promise that she'd pick her mom. In her words "I don't want to break a promise to Mommy, but I can't live like this anymore!"

I have a copy of the injunction application where she states under oath "I never knew I was in an abusive relationship until (the night I snatched on the table). That was the first time he ever put fear in my heart for our safety." Thus proving that I did nothing to harm or threaten her or the children until I snatched on the dinner table one night, with the children in another room. And even then, if that was "scary" enough for her to file for an injunction, why wasn't this previous alleged abuse of her and the children enough to call the cops? Or get out of the house? If I really had done these things, wouldn't that have been brought up at the injunction hearing in order to further prove her case? Or the divorce hearing?

I digress. I will keep you posted. Thanks again.

 

[Humusluvr]

"I never knew I was in an abusive relationship until (the night I snatched on the table). That was the first time he ever put fear in my heart for our safety." Thus proving that I did nothing to harm or threaten her or the children until I snatched on the dinner table one night, with the children in another room.

What does it mean to "snatch" on the dinner table?

 

[osmosis]

What does it mean to "snatch" on the dinner table?

I was standing at the end of the table. Out of anger I grabbed the edge of the table and pulled hard, not realizing that the center leaf would drop on the floor. This bought me a restraining order.

 

[Just Blue]

I was standing at the end of the table. Out of anger I grabbed the edge of the table and pulled hard, not realizing that the center leaf would drop on the floor. This bought me a restraining order.

And in case anyone that reads this doesn't believe you...The ex was on here and admitted that is all that happened. EX is a total lying POS.

 

[Humusluvr]

And in case anyone that reads this doesn't believe you...The ex was on here and admitted that is all that happened. EX is a total lying POS.

I had been skeptical. Thanks for going to bat for the OP, bay!