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So my 11 year old calls me crying..
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Just Blue
Senior Member
is it wrong that I'm hoping beyond hope that she once again fails to comply?
Considering the ex you have?? NO! It is not wrong. Your children NEED to be out of that trailer.
The CPS investigator for my county called this morning. She began the call with an irritated tone stating "I'm calling regarding a report of a mother hitting her children with a belt." Once she realized I was the one who made the report her attitude changed considerably and she became really sweet.
The weird part is that she said that about the belt.. that was a report from February 2007. I guess they've consolidated the files into one.
She said she will be here tomorrow at 8:30am to speak with me, my wife and my stepdaughter. She was in a hurry to set the appointment, but didn't elaborate or give reason.
*fingers crossed*
The weird part is that she said that about the belt.. that was a report from February 2007. I guess they've consolidated the files into one.
She said she will be here tomorrow at 8:30am to speak with me, my wife and my stepdaughter. She was in a hurry to set the appointment, but didn't elaborate or give reason.
*fingers crossed*
Just Blue
Senior Member
Mine as well!!
The CPI came out Wednesday morning to "inspect the home for possible future placement". She interviewed my 11 y/o stepdaughter in private and then interviewed my wife and I together. My 2.5 y/o daughter gave her the grand tour of the house. We were able to show her the Myspace page for the children's stepbrother/live-in sitter and she was absolutely appalled.
The investigator said that she doubts they will pull the children from the X's home due to the amount of court hearings and such involved and instead strongly recommended going back to court for custody and using the CPS investigation as additional support for our case. (gee, thanks lady.
)
When we picked the kids up from school yesterday we got the run-down of what happened on their end. CPS came to the school and spoke with each of them, then the investigator showed up at their home later. They took a tour of the home and were supposed to have gone back out yesterday for a second inspection.
They said they didn't get in trouble this time, but X and stepdad sat them down and had a long talk with the two older children regarding everything but the situation at hand. She told them that I am a liar, that I only want to hurt her, etc. She told the children "If Daddy wins you won't go directly to him, you'll go to a foster home." So now they are even more confused and afraid.
She even asked our daughter if she really still wanted to live with me, and then begged her to give her "one more year". Our daughter said "okay" but has expressed to us that she didn't know what else to say. (keep in mind this poor kid is only 11 and has already been recommended for specialized counseling by CPS due to PAS)
Our 8 y/o son says X made him cry because she was "saying so many mean things about Daddy" and he doesn't believe what she says. He claims to have caught her in several lies already (giving specific examples) and that he's never known me to lie.
So... I'm going to call the investigator again and discuss with her what the children are telling me now. Perhaps I can get her to reassure the children that they won't go to foster care and maybe they can come out and talk with the kids again. I don't know what else to do beyond the custody petition.
We were able to show her the Myspace page for the children's stepbrother/live-in sitter and she was absolutely appalled. The investigator said that she doubts they will pull the children from the X's home due to the amount of court hearings and such involved and instead strongly recommended going back to court for custody and using the CPS investigation as additional support for our case. (gee, thanks lady.
) When we picked the kids up from school yesterday we got the run-down of what happened on their end. CPS came to the school and spoke with each of them, then the investigator showed up at their home later. They took a tour of the home and were supposed to have gone back out yesterday for a second inspection.
They said they didn't get in trouble this time, but X and stepdad sat them down and had a long talk with the two older children regarding everything but the situation at hand. She told them that I am a liar, that I only want to hurt her, etc. She told the children "If Daddy wins you won't go directly to him, you'll go to a foster home." So now they are even more confused and afraid.
She even asked our daughter if she really still wanted to live with me, and then begged her to give her "one more year". Our daughter said "okay" but has expressed to us that she didn't know what else to say. (keep in mind this poor kid is only 11 and has already been recommended for specialized counseling by CPS due to PAS)
Our 8 y/o son says X made him cry because she was "saying so many mean things about Daddy" and he doesn't believe what she says. He claims to have caught her in several lies already (giving specific examples) and that he's never known me to lie.
So... I'm going to call the investigator again and discuss with her what the children are telling me now. Perhaps I can get her to reassure the children that they won't go to foster care and maybe they can come out and talk with the kids again. I don't know what else to do beyond the custody petition.
The investigator said that she doubts they will pull the children from the X's home due to the amount of court hearings and such involved and instead strongly recommended going back to court for custody and using the CPS investigation as additional support for our case. (gee, thanks lady.
This is pretty typical.
To yank kiddo from Mom it would have to be so bad that CPS finds imminent danger. It would have to meet the same standards for placing the child in foster care. They simply don’t feel they have enough to meet this standard.
However, kiddo has two parents. CPS can happily recommend the better placement in family court if they see one environment is harmful.
Consider it great news.
Our 11 y/o came to me today and told me that after the CPS investigator left her home X began crying and hugging our youngest son (6) saying "your brother and sister don't love me anymore. they're trying to leave me! you won't leave me, will you?" all the while giving our daughter mean looks. She said "it was like she was teasing me, but not in a funny way.. more like when someone is trying to be mean to you." she says she recalls blurting out "THIS is the reason I don't want to be here anymore!"
"If I'm not old enough to decide who I want to live with then why does she keep making me choose?"
Thanks, Bloopy. I feel we have a strong case, especially with CPS involved and recommending the things that they are.
I'll try to cut back on the amount of "updating" I do in the future. I'm not trying to turn this in to a blog.
"If I'm not old enough to decide who I want to live with then why does she keep making me choose?"
Thanks, Bloopy. I feel we have a strong case, especially with CPS involved and recommending the things that they are.
I'll try to cut back on the amount of "updating" I do in the future. I'm not trying to turn this in to a blog.
QUICK QUESTION:
I am not certain if this is something to report to the investigator or if it's just something that needs to be included in the custody petition. What would you suggest?
After the CPS visit to the children & their Mother:
1. X told kids "If you live with Daddy, I'll have to pay him child support. Is that what you want?"
2. Begged our 11 y/o for "one more year"
3. Refuses family counseling if I am involved
4. Stepdad said to the children "You wanted me to be your Daddy and now you're trying to leave me?" (kids didn't ask him to be their Daddy. X got knocked up in the first weeks of dating this guy and forced the marriage.. that's beside the point. he's a legal stranger, but he is not helping anything.)
5. hugged our 6 y/o son and said tearfully "Your brother and sister are trying to leave me! You won't leave me, will you?" (While giving our daughter & oldest son dirty looks)
6. X said "If Daddy wins, you won't go directly to him. You'll go to a foster home." and elaborated by saying I was just trying to put them in foster care to be mean to X.
7. Makes the kids feel guilty if they don't call her every day they are here, and refuses to let them call me unless she has a message or there is something wrong.
She's basically confusing and manipulating the children, making them afraid to leave. This past weekend they were so happy to be here, and taking them home was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. All 3 cried the entire 2 hour trip home. (We don't want to go, Daddy! Please let us stay with you!" Today my daughter called from the road saying that she was being taken to the ER for her first migraine.
So, do I bother contacting the CPI for this or should I just put it in the court paperwork?
I am not certain if this is something to report to the investigator or if it's just something that needs to be included in the custody petition. What would you suggest?
After the CPS visit to the children & their Mother:
1. X told kids "If you live with Daddy, I'll have to pay him child support. Is that what you want?"
2. Begged our 11 y/o for "one more year"
3. Refuses family counseling if I am involved
4. Stepdad said to the children "You wanted me to be your Daddy and now you're trying to leave me?" (kids didn't ask him to be their Daddy. X got knocked up in the first weeks of dating this guy and forced the marriage.. that's beside the point. he's a legal stranger, but he is not helping anything.)
5. hugged our 6 y/o son and said tearfully "Your brother and sister are trying to leave me! You won't leave me, will you?" (While giving our daughter & oldest son dirty looks)
6. X said "If Daddy wins, you won't go directly to him. You'll go to a foster home." and elaborated by saying I was just trying to put them in foster care to be mean to X.
7. Makes the kids feel guilty if they don't call her every day they are here, and refuses to let them call me unless she has a message or there is something wrong.
She's basically confusing and manipulating the children, making them afraid to leave. This past weekend they were so happy to be here, and taking them home was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. All 3 cried the entire 2 hour trip home. (We don't want to go, Daddy! Please let us stay with you!" Today my daughter called from the road saying that she was being taken to the ER for her first migraine.
So, do I bother contacting the CPI for this or should I just put it in the court paperwork?
Just Blue
Senior Member
QUICK QUESTION:
I am not certain if this is something to report to the investigator or if it's just something that needs to be included in the custody petition. What would you suggest?
After the CPS visit to the children & their Mother:
1. X told kids "If you live with Daddy, I'll have to pay him child support. Is that what you want?"
2. Begged our 11 y/o for "one more year"
3. Refuses family counseling if I am involved
4. Stepdad said to the children "You wanted me to be your Daddy and now you're trying to leave me?" (kids didn't ask him to be their Daddy. X got knocked up in the first weeks of dating this guy and forced the marriage.. that's beside the point. he's a legal stranger, but he is not helping anything.)
5. hugged our 6 y/o son and said tearfully "Your brother and sister are trying to leave me! You won't leave me, will you?" (While giving our daughter & oldest son dirty looks)
6. X said "If Daddy wins, you won't go directly to him. You'll go to a foster home." and elaborated by saying I was just trying to put them in foster care to be mean to X.
7. Makes the kids feel guilty if they don't call her every day they are here, and refuses to let them call me unless she has a message or there is something wrong.
She's basically confusing and manipulating the children, making them afraid to leave. This past weekend they were so happy to be here, and taking them home was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. All 3 cried the entire 2 hour trip home. (We don't want to go, Daddy! Please let us stay with you!" Today my daughter called from the road saying that she was being taken to the ER for her first migraine.
So, do I bother contacting the CPI for this or should I just put it in the court paperwork?
I would just include this in the custody petition. I would also request a GAL. Your ex is a real POW...
I would just include this in the custody petition. I would also request a GAL. Your ex is a real POW...
POW, POS.. all the same.
What does the GAL do? I know that they are supposed to be an advocate for the children, but what is involved with all of that?
The only issue I see with the GAL is that I can only motion for one if there is already a custody modification pending, and even then the judge won't make a ruling on the GAL until the custody hearing, which makes no sense to me. That's what happened last time, anyway.