Step-Parent Adoption California

[deductable rumb]

This

Mom's husband is willing to adopt the child and take on ALL obligations to support the child

is what's important.

 

[Ohiogal]

This



is what's important.

Only when the father wants to unload his child because she is disposable. If he REALLY cared about his child and didn't see her as trash, he would file for visitation/custody and attempt to enforce the order. Instead, he and his new chickie decide they don't need to deal with the child and want to throw her away because it is too difficult.

 

[txmom512]

As the sister of an adopted brother, and aunt to adopted kids, I have to say I find the responses in this thread BEYOND offensive and downright disgusting! And seriously OG - you are the worst - what is your problem??

Giving up rights to your child is not something a parent does lightly. For this person, whose boyfriend is willing to do that so that his child can grow up in an intact family with a father, and not be torn apart between them is so horrible?

Seriously - this OP does not deserve what they are getting and you people are incredibly out of line, it's just not even funny......

 

[Ohiogal]

As the sister of an adopted brother, and aunt to adopted kids, I have to say I find the responses in this thread BEYOND offensive and downright disgusting! And seriously OG - you are the worst - what is your problem??

Giving up rights to your child is not something a parent does lightly. For this person, whose boyfriend is willing to do that so that his child can grow up in an intact family with a father, and not be torn apart between them is so horrible?

Seriously - this OP does not deserve what they are getting and you people are incredibly out of line, it's just not even funny......

I have an issue when people are no longer with their ex, find a new person to have sex with and decide to unload their children as if they do not matter. Yes, he is doing it lightly because if he weren't, he would HAVE done something for visitation. I am the worst? Oh well. To me the worst are those people who decide that children are TRASH and get rid of them when something better comes along and don't want to be bothered. Yeah the OP does deserve it.

This child could grow up with the actual FATHER being a father if that person was enough of a man. Instead, he can go on and make new babies with the next chickie coming his way. When he tires of her, he can just throw that child into the garbage as well.

But I do agree, it is NOT funny when parents decide that their children are NOT worth fighting for. It is downright disgusting, pathetic and shows a complete lack of character. Glad to know you side with that lack of character.

 

[nextwife]

This child could grow up with the actual FATHER being a father if that person was enough of a man. .

An adoptive parent is not an inferior parent. There are all sorts of different motivations for a bioparent to choose to allow an adoption.

Some of us are objecting to the premise that only a bioparent is an "actual parent". Dads that became dads via adoption are ACTUALLY parenting, just like bioparents. And an adoptive child DOES grow up with an "actual" father. Just not their biofather.

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

WOW, some of the hostility here is impressive. If a woman has an abortion, the guy is told "its not your body". If she adopts the kid, he is told prove you have a right. Here, it seems to be dad wanting to give the kid up to a better home and life, he gets sacked again.

 

[Ohiogal]

An adoptive parent is not an inferior parent. There are all sorts of different motivations for a bioparent to choose to allow an adoption.

Some of us are objecting to the premise that only a bioparent is an "actual parent". Dads that became dads via adoption are ACTUALLY parenting, just like bioparents. And an adoptive child DOES grow up with an "actual" father. Just not their biofather.

I never stated that an adoptive parent is an inferior parent. NEVER. My issue is with the motivations and actions of this person. I even stated by all means dad should let his child be adopted on page 2 -- the only reason I wanted to help with that much is because the child would be better off without this person in their life. hence they need to get a lawyer in CA.
I am fully within my rights to state that I think this man and his new chickie should never have children because apparently the "man" in this case believes that children are disposable and if it is too difficult he should throw the child out with the trash.

 

[nextwife]

I never stated that an adoptive parent is an inferior parent. NEVER. My issue is with the motivations and actions of this person. I even stated by all means dad should let his child be adopted on page 2 -- the only reason I wanted to help with that much is because the child would be better off without this person in their life. hence they need to get a lawyer in CA.
I am fully within my rights to state that I think this man and his new chickie should never have children because apparently the "man" in this case believes that children are disposable and if it is too difficult he should throw the child out with the trash.

Well, I agree that if she procreates with him, it need be with the presumption that she will need to plan to do so as if she were a single parent who used a sperm bank. There are women who do become parents legally and forever solo (I have a friend who just adopted a newborn as a single, for example), and poster would need to procreate presuming this would be the case.

 

[deductable rumb]

My issue is with the motivations and actions of this person.

Something you could only speculate; irrelevant with intent to undermine the OP; immensely inflammatory to this thread as you continued to pursue it. Plain and simple.

 

[Ohiogal]

Something you could only speculate; irrelevant with intent to undermine the OP; immensely inflammatory to this thread as you continued to pursue it. Plain and simple.

actually no. Not inflammatory. Based on what has been stated. But continue in your oblivion. Ignorance must safeguard your sympathy. I, in a way, envy you due to the fact that you must be ignorant but I don't comprehend if you have any clue of whathas been said how you can ignore said ignorance.

 

[Ohiogal]

WOW, some of the hostility here is impressive. If a woman has an abortion, the guy is told "its not your body". If she adopts the kid, he is told prove you have a right. Here, it seems to be dad wanting to give the kid up to a better home and life, he gets sacked again.

If a man is NOT proven to be the father by a legal acknowledgement of paternity, he MUST prove that he has a father and a right to argue against adoption. That can be done by registering on the putative adoption registry -- if the state has one -- or NOT having sex until marriage. You need to understand the law.

Here, father wants to get rid of his child because it is NOT convenient for him to have a child and he doesn't want to deal with the responsibility because it may cost him time or money. IMHO, that makes him scum. However, I told OP (who is not father) to have father get an attorney. If the father views his father as nothing but an inconvenience then quite frankly the child is better off without this bottom feeder as a parent.

 

[Proserpina]

As the sister of an adopted brother, and aunt to adopted kids, I have to say I find the responses in this thread BEYOND offensive and downright disgusting! And seriously OG - you are the worst - what is your problem??

Giving up rights to your child is not something a parent does lightly. For this person, whose boyfriend is willing to do that so that his child can grow up in an intact family with a father, and not be torn apart between them is so horrible?

Seriously - this OP does not deserve what they are getting and you people are incredibly out of line, it's just not even funny......

You may be surprised to realize that many parents take that decision very lightly indeed, with very little thought.

We see it here all. The. Time.

 

[deductable rumb]

actually no. Not inflammatory. Based on what has been stated.

Really? Want to show me where?

That is definately not the case. This is his and his ex-wifes idea and he asked me to find out how to do this because he works alot and doesn't have time. So how does anything that I have said make it sound like I am just trying to get rid of his daughter? She lives in California and we never see her. So there isn't even any reason to try and get rid of her or whatever. Maybe you should really read everthing that is written before making false accusations because it just makes you look bad.

He has tried to pursue visitation but with him working 50+ hours a week, he cant just fly to california to see her since his ex said thats the only way he would ever see her. She has now said he wouldnt see her even if he did go to california. She wont let him have a relationship with his child and her new husband wont allow him to call their home. She is 3 years old and he hasnt seen her in almost 5 months. So you all can judge the situation however you want to but this isnt some easy decision that he has chosen to do. I would honesyly appreciate professional legal advice and not just opinions. Thank you.

Wow, I am so excited to hear another unnecessary opinion. Very helpful, not. He doesnt get paid vacations and since he spends 600 a month for cs he said he cant afford to take time off of work with it being unpaid, and then afford plane tickets. This whole free advice forum hasnt proven to be too helpful. It seems more like a "Tell us your problem and we'll try to be as rude and not helpful as we possibly can." Unless you know the situation thoroughly and know every detail, or have anything useful/worthwhile to say about what you would.recommend to do, then try to keep your opinions and feelings to yourself.

Hmm... Maybe this site? I'm not stupid just because I dont know every single state's legal system by heart. I am also positive that I joined this website for legal advice, not to hear rude opinions from people and learn who employs you. I dont to be rude but I just really thought that we would be able to get some help on here and so far most people just want to be rude. It isn.t very professional of any senior members on here to treat people like that.

Is it even possible to do that? Everything that we have read or heard on the internet or from anyone says that when you terminate parental rights the parental obligations go along with that. So where are you going with that exactly?....

wow, you have once again proven to be unhelpful, unknowledgable, and rude. You clearly know this situation better than anyone ACTUALLY involved. No, wait.... You don't know anything about my fiance or his daughter or his ex or me or her new husband or anything pertaining to this situation, so unless you are going to claim to be a psychic next, then just stop even trying to give any advice to anyone.

Nothing you jusy said was even remotely related to the question we originally asked. Which translates to NOT HELPFUL. He doesnt want to do this. He has no relationship with his daughter and his ex wife wont even let him try to have one. So when she suggested this, it seemed to be best for the child according to the child's MOTHER AND FATHER. The child has a good relationship with her stepfather and calls him dad. So if you think anything else about the situation, just keep it to yourself because you are the most uneducated and unintelligent "lawyer" I have ever encountered. You are clearly no help to me.

You are wrong. It has nothing to do with that. It has to do with what is best for the child. But I bet you are just going to assume whatever you want to because it would be easier than actually taking the time to know anything about this situation.

You can't terminate parental rights and still be required to pay child support. That is not how it works and child support doesn't even matter since it has nothing to do with the question and is in no way a factor in anything he wants to do. So unless anyone else has something USEFUL to say and not just something to say because they are bored, then please. GROW UP.

ok or starters, i am not a damn panda. it is p and a . . . We just put it together and it spells panda. . . and what is the reason they asked? to see if he would still pay money even though he isn't required? so maybe everyone here should go up to a complete stranger every month and hand them $600. Is that what you're getting at? If his ex's husband adopts his daughter, he will no longer be her father. He understands this and is willing to do what is best for his daughter. So I assume that not one person on this site who is actually a lawyer, has ever done a stepparent adoption case where the father voluntarily relinquished his rights? You all seem to think it is impossible, unheard of, and too foreign to even comprehend.

Ohiogal, you need a therapist, not a forum.

 

[Banned_Princess]

I also agree this poster was treated unfairly. you guys have such hate in your lives, you just have to let it out on people looking for help.