Step parent adoption

[Proserpina]

If you want something done right you have to do it yourself, I advised my wife to find the attorney that made the largest campaign contribution to the judges election campaign. She took the easy route and used her friends divorce attorney, now she is paying cause we have an attorney with no adoption exp and no relationship,with the judge.

Translated: I just went down the street and they didn't tell me what I wanted to hear, either.

 

[justalayman]

Ok so the attorney is not on your side. Your side is lying to the child. They means the attorney is on the side of not lying to your child


Or do you want to argue it is something different? The other position is that he is neither for or against it. Is that what you are claiming?

Oh, I see now. The attorney is the problem. Of course.

Then discharge him/her and hire one you approve of. There are thousand of attorneys in Texas. I'm sure you'll find one that agrees with you somewhere, I mean that you like.

 

[justalayman]

This is from the state of Texas themselves


How Can I Get My Records?
In the State of Texas, adoption records are sealed by law. However, an adoptee can obtain a redacted copy of their adoption record. The redacted copy will have certain personal information deleted to ensure privacy of the involved individuals. In order to honor a request for closed adoption records the Texas Department of Family and Protective Services must have been involved in the placement and adoption of the adoptee.


Does that sound like the intent is to hide that there was an adoption from the child?

go educate yourself so you understand the purpose of sealed records.

 

[Kevin23]

This is from the state of Texas themselves


How Can I Get My Records?
In the State of Texas, adoption records are sealed by law. However, an adoptee can obtain a redacted copy of their adoption record. The redacted copy will have certain personal information deleted to ensure privacy of the involved individuals. In order to honor a request for closed adoption records the Texas Department of Family and Protective Services must have been involved in the placement and adoption of the adoptee.


Does that sound like the intent is to hide that there was an adoption from the child?

go educate yourself so you understand the purpose of sealed records.

It's not a DFPS adoption. Perhaps you should educate yourself further. DFPS has nothing to do with it.

I do not completely disagree with telling him, I just disagree with the timing. Why do you continue to avoid answering my question specifically? What age should a child be told this? Why are closed adoptions even legal then?

That is the fault in your theory is that the system allows it for a reason, the opinion of 1 person that knows little to nothing about my family is the least of my concern. My child does very well currently under my parenting.

 

[Kevin23]

This is from the state of Texas themselves


How Can I Get My Records?
In the State of Texas, adoption records are sealed by law. However, an adoptee can obtain a redacted copy of their adoption record. The redacted copy will have certain personal information deleted to ensure privacy of the involved individuals. In order to honor a request for closed adoption records the Texas Department of Family and Protective Services must have been involved in the placement and adoption of the adoptee.


Does that sound like the intent is to hide that there was an adoption from the child?

Go educate yourself so you understand the purpose of sealed records.

Besides if the intent was to inform then it would be required! The intent is to give the option which I am choosing to delay. Read the post before you jump into a conversation.

 

[not2cleverRed]

Actually my attorney has not told me to, I said "my attorney does not seem to be on my side" meaning that they are saying it will be easier to do everything the home study requests but it is not required. We can still go to the judge and then appeal if the desired outcome is not achieved.

Let's tell all the children of the world there is not Santa or Easter bunny while we are at it!

I'm asking for an option for someone with actual experience, not the opinion of a potato farmer!

And that is the point of a closed adoption which I have been a part of in the past. That is was the birth certificate is changed to have the name of the adopted parent as the birth parent, if that was not the point and it was expect you tell a child that then why would the court go through the problem of issuing a new birth certificate? I'm glad there are so many on here quick to offer advice but most of you have not thought you logic through and just spout out stuff after reading a thread for 5 minutes, me and my wife have had several hours if not days of discussions about this over the past 8 years. For Pete sake the chikds own mother does not want to tell him. I guess we are all crazy right?

I guess we are bad parents for telling the kids Santa brought them presents too!

We don't hardly have any potato farmers left here on Long Island, sadly. But yes, you and the mother are WRONG. What is wrong with this woman that she has been perpetuating this lie?

Now, when I lived in Texas, I knew that there was a bit of corruption in some places, but really, I would never consider hiring a lawyer based on his/her public propensity to bribe judges. I would rather hire based on *competence*. Now, just because the lawyer you currently has isn't the most experienced at adoption doesn't mean that he's less competent than one who depends on bribery. And he's *certainly* more competent than you.

But then, liars do seem to see nothing wrong with bribers.

 

[not2cleverRed]

Why do you think that being truthful from that start would make the teen years more difficult?

It's the lies that are more likely to cause problems.

My step-grandmother was very proud of her family's potato farming heritage. Ivy League educated potato farmers.

 

[Kevin23]

We don't hardly have any potato farmers left here on Long Island, sadly. But yes, you and the mother are WRONG. What is wrong with this woman that she has been perpetuating this lie?

Now, when I lived in Texas, I knew that there was a bit of corruption in some places, but really, I would never consider hiring a lawyer based on his/her public propensity to bribe judges. I would rather hire based on *competence*. Now, just because the lawyer you currently has isn't the most experienced at adoption doesn't mean that he's less competent than one who depends on bribery. And he's *certainly* more competent than you.

But then, liars do seem to see nothing wrong with bribers.

Call it what you want, it's perfectly legal. I would rather hire based on track record. Why would you go to court against an attorney that contributes to the judge? I am not having to fight against an attorney in this situation but if you know that is how the system works why would not not use it to your advantage?

You really think your local system doesn't work the same way? It's called lobbying in Washington.

 

[justalayman]

Besides if the intent was to inform then it would be required! The intent is to give the option which I am choosing to delay. Read the post before you jump into a conversation.

The intent is to not hide it from them


And if isn't involving the state (which of course I knew because I'm a mind reader) the same records the state provides when the adoption is through the state are available from the private agency.

They seal them so people outside of the adoption cannot access them.

 

[Kevin23]

The intent is to not hide it from them


And if isn't involving the state (which of course I knew because I'm a mind reader) the same records the state provides when the adoption is through the state are available from the private agency.

They seal them so people outside of the adoption cannot access them.

You act like you know everything on here.mhow could you not figure out from your quick search on adoption in Texas that DFPS adoption are for kids in foster care or being adopted by 2 parents? A single parent adopting does not go through DFPS because there is still a biological parent involved and this is all down between private attorneys and the county court.

I'm sure the forum would be much better if individuals like you did not post on topics they know nothing about.

 

[not2cleverRed]

That's alright.

Dither long enough and the kid will be 12 - then you'll have no choice, he will HAVE to be informed. By law. Texas law.

And no, not every judge goes with the highest bidder/briber/campaign donation. That you think that is the best route speaks volumes about YOU, not the system. Seriously. If the Dad is willing to give up his parental rights, all you need is an attorney who is competent doing the paperwork, if everything else is in order. The problem is that the home study seems to indicate otherwise... if you do not comply with the home study recommendations it is YOU who are delaying the forward momentum of the adoption process, I suspect, not the attorney.

 

[Proserpina]

You act like you know everything on here.mhow could you not figure out from your quick search on adoption in Texas that DFPS adoption are for kids in foster care or being adopted by 2 parents? A single parent adopting does not go through DFPS because there is still a biological parent involved and this is all down between private attorneys and the county court.

I'm sure the forum would be much better if individuals like you did not post on topics they know nothing about.

Try again there, sparky.