stepmom wants custody..bio mom not to be found

[sharnorthcutt]

What is the name of your state? TX

Hi, I need advice. My husband and I are getting divorced. He is abusive to me, alcholic, and suicidle. I took my step daughter which I raised since her birth, to Texas, he is in Colorado, for saftey. We have been apart for 8 months now. He has threaten to take her away from me when we do get divorced, but So far he has not even tried to take her, cause he knows it will interfere with his drinking and lifestyle. Since I left, he has hired prostitutes, signed up for sex partners online, and tried to commit suicide. I am afraid of her saftey if he gets custody. I refuse to let him be alone with her.

k sorry here is my question. Do I as stepmom have any rights at all in this situation. Bio mom cannot be found and has never been part of her life whatsoever, not even in the hospital. She signed for me to take baby home, even though baby was in hospital 10 days after birth. It was me that went to hospital everyday to feed and bath her till she went home with me. Dad wasn't even there.

Any advice is much appreciated!!

thanks, Sharon (mom)

sorry so long

 

[Pfaffing85690]

Does the term kidnapping have any meaning to you?

Legally, you have absolutely no rights to that child. If the court finds that the father is unfit and cannot find the mother, then the child is made a ward of the state and other family members will be contacted to take guardianship.

IF no one can be found to take guardianship, then you can petition the court for that right. But, as of right now, if and when hubby sobers up, he can file kidnapping charges against you and you will find out how a jail cell feels.

 

[stealth2]

It's a shame you never petitioned to adopt the child - then you'd have some rights. Now? You've got yourself a huge mess. You have no legal rights to the child, not even to mention the right to take her to a different state - that could lead to some serious charges against you.

Talk to a lawyer ASAP to find out how to untangle yourself.

 

[JETX]

"Do I as stepmom have any rights at all in this situation."
*** No. You are simply a nanny.

"Bio mom cannot be found and has never been part of her life whatsoever, not even in the hospital."
*** Not relevant. A court order is necessary to terminate ANY surviving biological parents rights.

"She signed for me to take baby home, even though baby was in hospital 10 days after birth."
*** And what EXACTLY did she 'sign'.

"It was me that went to hospital everyday to feed and bath her till she went home with me."
*** Very nice of you. But, again, not relevant to the LEGAL custody issue.

"Dad wasn't even there."
*** Shame on him.... but, once again, NOT relevant to the LEGAL custody issue.

 

[sharnorthcutt]

I would rather feel what a jail cell feels like, then leave her in harms way. If you could, then you have no heart. She is only 2 years old, and yes the petition for adoption is in and has been on my mind since day one, but I never thought this day would come let alone so soon. I can't even begin to explain what kind of man I am dealing with, he wants a child, but don't want to give up drinking, internet games, and his free time to do it. The last 2 years, to him, its like she didn't exist, so I know his threats are just threats and will never act on them. He is just trying to get me to come back and put up with being abused.

Thank you for your responses, I am in process of finding a good lawyer. Because I know this situation is very messed up. I am just looking at the best interest of my child.

I am sorry but the law sucks as far as this issue is concerned, and I plan on hopefully makeing a difference in the way the LAW looks at things. She grew in my heart, not under it. That to me and allot of people makes a bigger difference then being biological.

 

[Pfaffing85690]

I am just looking at the best interest of my child.

And that's your biggest problem. This is not YOUR child. and after what you have done, it probably never will be.

I am sorry but the law sucks as far as this issue is concerned, and I plan on hopefully makeing a difference in the way the LAW looks at things.

So, after all this you're going to change the law? Now, explain what you would tell someone who steals that child from you? Would you be so forgiving?

You are lucky if you do not spend the next 15 years in prison for kidnapping.

I'm done with you. let the courts explain it to you. maybe then it will sink in.

 

[stealth2]

You really should have addressed the issues with the kid before leaving. 'Cause it IS going to bite you in the butt.

Do you have proof of his abuse? Or is it going to be his word against yours?

The law actually does have ways to deal with these sorts of issues. But you're not allowed to take it into your own hands and decide how to deal with certain situations, no matter what. If I were in your shoes, I would begin steeling myself to give the child up. Sorry.

 

[lsut1ger]

Do you intend to pursue this in TX or in CO?

 

[sharnorthcutt]

We have addressed the issue of my daughter, we both agreed she should come to Texas with me, it wasn't like I took her in the night and kidnapped her like yall are thinking. We have been trying to work things out, apart from each other, but it doesn't look like that is going to work. I am just asking in advance for advice as to what I should do, so when the time comes for divorce lawyers I will have some idea.. he is fine with me having her, until he gets drunk and start feeling sorry for himself.

Thank you all for yalls advice.

Sharon

 

[stealth2]

Until the adoption goes through, she is NOT your daughter. Not legally.

 

[Bloomer]

It is unfortunate ...

We have addressed the issue of my daughter, we both agreed she should come to Texas with me, it wasn't like I took her in the night and kidnapped her like yall are thinking. We have been trying to work things out, apart from each other, but it doesn't look like that is going to work. I am just asking in advance for advice as to what I should do, so when the time comes for divorce lawyers I will have some idea.. he is fine with me having her, until he gets drunk and start feeling sorry for himself.

Thank you all for yalls advice.

Sharon

It is really unfortunate that the way the law is that you don't have an "legal rights" to the child. I don't think dad would get far with 'kidnapping' charges as others have stated, considering the circumstances but he could show up on your doorstep at any given time to take her and there would be nothing you could do about it legally.

I would talk to an attorney ASAP and find out if it is possible to get bio-mom's legal rights terminated for abandonment and also talk to dad about having legal guardianship papers drawn up for you or something but I would definitely try to get things LEGAL in a real hurry.

Only an attorney would have the expertise to tell you the best route to take but I would definitely do it quickly, whatever you do.

I would also call the social worker in the Juvenile Department and discuss the case with them as well because sometimes in these types of situations even if the child LEGALLY becomes a ward of the state the state can/will make the recommendation that the child stay in the home where they already reside and are use to.

I am not sure but an attorney could tell you all of the possibilities and probabilities. Good luck! I know that legally she might be your daughter but in reality, she is, to all of you.

 

[Pfaffing85690]

I don't think dad would get far with 'kidnapping' charges as others have stated,

Really? Then let's see the proof of dad's "Permission" to take this child across state lines.

As it stands now, dad doesn't have to do a thing except file a missing person's report. From that point on it's the state who will file kidnapping charges against this woman who has no legal right to the child, has taken the child across state lines and who is committing a federal crime.

I would also call the social worker in the Juvenile Department and discuss the case with them as well because sometimes in these types of situations even if the child LEGALLY becomes a ward of the state the state can/will make the recommendation that the child stay in the home where they already reside and are use to.

And the first call the social worker will be to the sheriff's department. Or do you believe in the tooth fairey?

 

[Bloomer]

Oh really Pfaff? Then why exactly was it that daddy took EIGHT f*cking MONTHS to report the child missing or to press kidnapping charges if he did not give permission? Or how about the contact the two of them have had over that timeframe that is probably shown on phone records .... kind of hard for her to be 'MISSING' then, huh?

Get your head out of your ass and get off of your high horse! It is unlikely that any prosecutor would pursue such a charge.

The Social Worker probably might have some legal obligations to make some kind of calls or to even start proceedings to make the child a ward of the state but since I don't know much about that I suggested the poster talk to them (she doesn't have to give them specific information to get information) and to talk to an ATTORNEY!!!

 

[Pfaffing85690]

Yes really. Or do you have proof that what the poster has said here is the truth?

No? Yes? Crystal Ball.

The only FACTS we have is that the child is her step-child. FACT

The poster has no legal rights to this child. FACT

The poster has taken the child across state lines. FACT

nothing else in this post is fact. Just one side of a story.

 

[Bloomer]

Yes really. Or do you have proof that what the poster has said here is the truth?

No? Yes? Crystal Ball.

The only FACTS we have is that the child is her step-child. FACT

The poster has no legal rights to this child. FACT

The poster has taken the child across state lines. FACT

nothing else in this post is fact. Just one side of a story.

Well then Pfaff, I guess you don't have enough FACTS to determine or say that it is indeed kidnapping then either, considering that IF what the poster stated was true then she took the child across state lines WITH the consent of the child's legal and biological father!