summer vacation???

[two4two]

Texas

This may seem minor, but I've got a quick question. In the divorce decree it states that the ncp (my ex) can have summer visitation with the children any time during the summer if he informs me in writing by april first of the year of the dates that he is going to be taking them. If he does not notify me in writing by April 1st, then he is allowed to have the children fron july 1st til july 31. Here is the dilema---day's off at my employment revolve on a first come first serve basis. There are only a certain number of employee's approved off per day for the summertime, so I have to put in my request now in order to take time off of work to take the kids on a summer vacation. I have asked my ex when (even if he can just give me a general idea) he plans to exercise his summer visitation, and he refuses to tell me. I explained to him the situation and told him that i am trying to plan their vacation around his schedule, and he still refuses to give me any idea of any dates. If I wait until April I will lose my chance of getting off of work to take the children on a vacation. If I plan it now, I am afraid that he will purposesly take the kids on those dates so that they cannot enjoy a vacation with me. Is there anything I can do? Or do I just go ahead and make plans and hope for the best?

 

[BL]

Texas

This may seem minor, but I've got a quick question. In the divorce decree it states that the ncp (my ex) can have summer visitation with the children any time during the summer if he informs me in writing by april first of the year of the dates that he is going to be taking them. If he does not notify me in writing by April 1st, then he is allowed to have the children fron july 1st til july 31. Here is the dilema---day's off at my employment revolve on a first come first serve basis. There are only a certain number of employee's approved off per day for the summertime, so I have to put in my request now in order to take time off of work to take the kids on a summer vacation. I have asked my ex when (even if he can just give me a general idea) he plans to exercise his summer visitation, and he refuses to tell me. I explained to him the situation and told him that i am trying to plan their vacation around his schedule, and he still refuses to give me any idea of any dates. If I wait until April I will lose my chance of getting off of work to take the children on a vacation. If I plan it now, I am afraid that he will purposesly take the kids on those dates so that they cannot enjoy a vacation with me. Is there anything I can do? Or do I just go ahead and make plans and hope for the best?

Yes , there is something you can do . Plan vacations closer to home , like week end trips .

Yes, follow the orders , unless you want to file for modification .

I won't ask why this issue wasn't addressed , before orders were made , because the Fact is DAD has a right to summer visits .

Oh , yes , your afraid He will purposly prevent your vacation plans . Simple , don't make long term plans , and don't dis the Dad to the kids for it . It's the Orders .

 

[ceara19]

If you are worried that he will intentionally ruin your plans if you schedule your vacation days now, just don't tell him (or the kids) what days you are scheduling to take off until AFTER April 1st. There's still a chance he could guess correctly, but other than what Blonde Lebinese suggested, it's about the only thing you can do.

 

[LdiJ]

If you are worried that he will intentionally ruin your plans if you schedule your vacation days now, just don't tell him (or the kids) what days you are scheduling to take off until AFTER April 1st. There's still a chance he could guess correctly, but other than what Blonde Lebinese suggested, it's about the only thing you can do.

I agree. Plus, schedule them for a time period that he isn't likely to take....based on past history.

 

[Inquiry123]

Suggestion

Texas

In the divorce decree it states that the ncp (my ex) can have summer visitation with the children any time during the summer if he informs me in writing by april first of the year of the dates that he is going to be taking them.

It is unusual for "any time" to be used in a decree with respect to the NCP. In TX, it is standard to have a limitation placed on the date by which the NCP must return the children -- for example, "no later than seven days before school resumes."

If this is true in your case, you would have at least 7 days guaranteed. You might consider requesting the 14? days before school resumes for vacation to your employer. Plan for 14 days and be ready to reschedule the first 7 days if possible when an overlap presents itself in April. Good luck.

 

[Halls]

I'm in Texas and my court order says that the NCP(my ex) has to give me wahtever 4 weeks he wants in the summer by April as well so he does get to pick and choose whatever he would like. It is standard that way in Texas.

Now, my suggestion is that obviously you and your ex don't get along to well since he is unwilling to help you out. You have to obide by the court order regardless what happens and that is just to bad I know. I've delt with dissapointments, but that is life when you share a child with someone your not with anymore.

So, I think you need to work on a more positive Coparenting relationship with your ex. Suggest the both of you attend a Counseling session together to help resolve past issues and work on issues now. It is a great idea and it worked for me! Now, it may not work out this summer sorry to say, but just try and cooperate with your ex better and things might change. Meet him half way on petty issues now and than and go out of your way here and there to help him out when he needs it, those things make a difference.

I have a court order and for the most part we go by it, but now and than we don't. On Fridays my sons father is to get him on the 1st, 3rd, 5th weekends of the month at 6pm. He will call me at 3pm and ask me if I wouldn't mind him picking up our son at 4pm instead almost every one of his weekends. I have never said no to him and won't unless my son is doing something after school at that time he can't get out of. I do these things so that when I need a favor he meets me half way and gives me things I'd like. We are kind, pleasant to each other and it makes a difference.

Sounds to me you need to work on your relationship better, otherwise there will be more dissapointments, and that is just life!

 

[jslopez711]

Texas

This may seem minor, but I've got a quick question. In the divorce decree it states that the ncp (my ex) can have summer visitation with the children any time during the summer if he informs me in writing by april first of the year of the dates that he is going to be taking them. If he does not notify me in writing by April 1st, then he is allowed to have the children fron july 1st til july 31. Here is the dilema---day's off at my employment revolve on a first come first serve basis. There are only a certain number of employee's approved off per day for the summertime, so I have to put in my request now in order to take time off of work to take the kids on a summer vacation. I have asked my ex when (even if he can just give me a general idea) he plans to exercise his summer visitation, and he refuses to tell me. I explained to him the situation and told him that i am trying to plan their vacation around his schedule, and he still refuses to give me any idea of any dates. If I wait until April I will lose my chance of getting off of work to take the children on a vacation. If I plan it now, I am afraid that he will purposesly take the kids on those dates so that they cannot enjoy a vacation with me. Is there anything I can do? Or do I just go ahead and make plans and hope for the best?

This is simple. Under Standard Order of Possesion in Texas you have the right to one of his weekends aside from the weekend inside NCP's 30 day stint. And since Weds/Thursdays are not in effect during the Summer months, you can designate your EXTRA weekend you get and have a two uninterrupted weeks with your kid.

 

[ceara19]

This is simple. Under Standard Order of Possesion in Texas you have the right to one of his weekends aside from the weekend inside NCP's 30 day stint. And since Weds/Thursdays are not in effect during the Summer months, you can designate your EXTRA weekend you get and have a two uninterrupted weeks with your kid.

But she won't be able to know when these weeks are until AFTER dad decides what he is doing first or April 1st, whichever comes first.

 

[Inquiry123]

so he does get to pick and choose whatever he would like. It is standard that way in Texas.

"Whatever he would like," isn't reflective of the wording of most possesion orders in TX. I doubt that either of your orders say: "NCP may have the kids whatever 30/42 days he would like between the first day of summer vacation and the last day of summer vacation".

jslopez711 is correct about the process of designating the OP's period of exclusive possession...after you are notified of the NCP's dates of summer possession.

 

[ceara19]

The Texas SOP states that the NCP may have the children for 30 consecutive days starting July 1st. OR if the NCP chooses they may have an extended period of possession, beginning no sonner than 7 days after school is dismissed for the summer and ending no later than 7 days before school resumes for a total of no more than 42 days to be taken in no more than 2 seperate periods of possession IF the NCP notifies the CP no later than April 1st. And yes, the CP can have the children for one weekend during the NCP's period of possession.

None of these things however help the OP decide when to schedule her vacation days from work NOW.

 

[Inquiry123]

Am I missin' the boat, here?

The Texas SOP states that the NCP may have the children for 30 consecutive days starting July 1st. OR if the NCP chooses they may have an extended period of possession, beginning no sonner than 7 days after school is dismissed for the summer and ending no later than 7 days before school resumes for a total of no more than 42 days to be taken in no more than 2 seperate periods of possession IF the NCP notifies the CP no later than April 1st. And yes, the CP can have the children for one weekend during the NCP's period of possession.

None of these things however help the OP decide when to schedule her vacation days from work NOW.

ceara:

If the OP's order is similar to your description above, couldn't she NOW schedule with her employer a minimum of 2 weeks vacation -- the 7 days after school is dismissed...and the 7 days before school resumes?

And if that's the case, why not schedule additional time adjacent to one or both of those periods NOW -- and cancel one of the scheduled blocks when the final dates are received from the NCP.

 

[ceara19]

IF she has the SOP, she could schedule for those times IF it's available to her at work. The way I understand it is that vaca days are first come first serve at her employer. With so many single parents now days those would be prime days to have off.

 

[two4two]

[If this is true in your case, you would have at least 7 days guaranteed. You might consider requesting the 14? days before school resumes for vacation to your employer. Plan for 14 days and be ready to reschedule the first 7 days if possible when an overlap presents itself in April. Good luck.[/QUOTE]

Is this also true for non-school aged children?

 

[two4two]

Sounds to me you need to work on your relationship better, otherwise there will be more dissapointments, and that is just life![/QUOTE]

In a perfect world that would be great. Believe me I have tried everything possible and have gone far and beyond what I have had to in order for my ex and I to have a better parental relationship. When it is just him, we work together as parents perfectly, but whenever he gets a girlfriends things change, and it is in no way me the one changing them.I have even stooped to begging and pleading with my ex for group counseling or mediation, and he refuses. I know how things negatively effect the children and I want to fix them, but he doesn't care and does not care to fix them. He is only in the childrens life what little time he is to cause havoc in my life. I am trying not to give him the satifaction of causing havoc. I am not keeping the kids from him, but I am learning better ways of dealing with the problems he causes.

 

[two4two]

Thank you all for your advice. My parents were wanting to take the children and i to Disney World for a week in the summer. Maybe it is best just not to plan a big vacation until things are a little smoother with my ex and I. Thanks anyway.