Summer Visitation Question

[justlilolme]

However, the child's grades apparently slipped on.... *gasp*.... YOUR time. Guess what?!?! YOU are responsible for it. BTDT. My kid's grades slipped earlier this year - who do you suppose I held responsible for getting the grade up? Not Dad. The kid. And me.

You do not get to now decide that, since kiddo dropped the ball (as did Mommy), Dad loses half of his summer visitation. I would love for you to take this to court. Please do.

BINGO!! The child, did not do the work that the child needed to do during the regular school year, so now the child has to attend summer school! What a concept, huh!

Not everything is a conspiracy against the other parent!

Maybe next time the child doesn't get an assignment done on time, instead of taking away TV & gameboys, I'll just put the child in front of a firing squad so that I don't risk failing as a parent!!

 

[stealth2]

BINGO!! The child, did not do the work that the child needed to do during the regular school year, so now the child has to attend summer school! What a concept, huh!

Not everything is a conspiracy against the other parent!

Maybe next time the child doesn't get an assignment done on time, instead of taking away TV & gameboys, I'll just put the child in front of a firing squad so that I don't risk failing as a parent!!

No. The PARENT takes care of it during the school year, not during the summer because the other parent DARES do fun stuff with the kid. Give me a break - your motivation is crystal clear on this.

 

[Zephyr]

OP- I am really beginning to wonder if you came here for real advice or what...have you gotten your question answered?

 

[justlilolme]

OP- I am really beginning to wonder if you came here for real advice or what...have you gotten your question answered?

Yes, actually, LdiJ did a really wonderful job of answering my question, the best that it could be answered. Thank you!

And regarding your comment about the issue being discussed with dad ... it has been, extensively, and continues to be discussed but the point of the matter is that mom and dad simply don't agree and are unlikely to agree about what would be best. Only time will truly tell.

 

[justlilolme]

No. The PARENT takes care of it during the school year, not during the summer because the other parent DARES do fun stuff with the kid. Give me a break - your motivation is crystal clear on this.

My motivation has nothing to do with the fact that dad does fun stuff with the child during the summer! It's great that he does, and I am glad they have a great time together since time is not something they get a lot of. My comment was that he often fails to ensure that other parental functions, such as addressing homework, gets done ... because, he does! He ignores the homework and they run off to six flags instead of doing homework and then going to six flags! Hell, I do fun stuff with my children all year round, after homework and other responsibilities are done!

There seems to be a majority of patrons here that have a preconcieved notion that there is always some underlying conspiracy against the other parent. Although that happens all too often in today's society, believe it or not, there are still parents out there that keep their children first and foremost.

 

[casa]

Casa



Thank you for your opinion and input. I am glad that most Judges I have encountered do not simply base a parents perfomance or child-rearing abilities on a couple of slipping grades, as you seem to. By your standards any parent who has ever had a child with bad grades or a cavity for that matter would be considered a failure. Maybe we should shoot them all on sight, ya think? Because, my goodness, where the hell have they been ALL YEAR LONG, if something like that happened, right?

Shoot a child? ummmmmmm not exactly what I had in mind- but your dramatic reply sheds some light on your dynamics

I had a child who was slipping once...and I did what a responsible parent would do; Discovered the problem and worked with my child on fixing it. Honor Roll consistently since then I sure didn't WAIT til the end of the year to 'discover' the problem, and then assume the ONLY solution would be to decrease visitation time with the NCP. My goodness~ Where are your problem solving abilities?

 

[jslopez711]

This is a complete power trip by the OP. Loosing control seems to be an issue with mom.

 

[justlilolme]

Shoot a child? ummmmmmm not exactly what I had in mind- but your dramatic reply sheds some light on your dynamics

I had a child who was slipping once...and I did what a responsible parent would do; Discovered the problem and worked with my child on fixing it. Honor Roll consistently since then I sure didn't WAIT til the end of the year to 'discover' the problem, and then assume the ONLY solution would be to decrease visitation time with the NCP. My goodness~ Where are your problem solving abilities?

I was refering to the *failing parents*, not the children. My goodness, where are your reading abilities?

 

[casa]

I was refering to the *failing parents*, not the children. My goodness, where are your reading abilities?

You are the one who referred to yourself as a *failing parent* (Complex maybe? )

BTW~ I wouldn't shoot a parent either...I didn't shoot myself when my child had problems, I solved them. Whether it be by tutor, EIP, testing/screening for appropriate curriculim &/or learning disabilities etc. etc. etc. If a child's grades are slipping, you know that before the end of the year. If it doesn't warrant concern all year long- then summer school is obviously not the only option.

I think you are unable to hear what people are telling you in answer to your question(s). People keep replying and you continue to debate. How about you just go ahead and file in court to disrupt NCPs visitation because you seemingly aren't capable of adequately monitoring your child's academics. If you are capable- then there's no reason for summer school. The bottom line is the NCP isn't in charge of the child for long enough or frequent enough duration to be solely responsible for your child's success in school.

And Yes, sometimes that means physically sitting down everynight with your child while they do homework. Sometimes it means daily correspondence with the teacher. They are still children after all.

 

[justlilolme]

You are the one who referred to yourself as a *failing parent* (Complex maybe? )

BTW~ I wouldn't shoot a parent either...I didn't shoot myself when my child had problems, I solved them. Whether it be by tutor, EIP, testing/screening for appropriate curriculim &/or learning disabilities etc. etc. etc. If a child's grades are slipping, you know that before the end of the year. If it doesn't warrant concern all year long- then summer school is obviously not the only option.

I think you are unable to hear what people are telling you in answer to your question(s). People keep replying and you continue to debate. How about you just go ahead and file in court to disrupt NCPs visitation because you seemingly aren't capable of adequately monitoring your child's academics. If you are capable- then there's no reason for summer school. The bottom line is the NCP isn't in charge of the child for long enough or frequent enough duration to be solely responsible for your child's success in school.

And Yes, sometimes that means physically sitting down everynight with your child while they do homework. Sometimes it means daily correspondence with the teacher. They are still children after all.

Uhmmm, no, actually it was you that implied that simply because my child's grades slipped that I was somehow just a complete failure as a parent since I hadn't fixed the problem all year long ...

Issues a judge would more than likely consider:

1.) Is summer school being recommended by the school? ie; If he does not go, he will not continue to the next grade? If not, then the CP is clearly infringing on the NCPs parenting time.

2.) If the CP is so concerned about the child's education~ Where have they been ALL YEAR LONG?! No tutors, No help getting work/homework done all through the year? Hmmmmm The CP pushing the child's 'problems' academically will only demonstrate to the court the CPs failure in this area.

3.) The visitation order is pretty easy to comprehend (*IMO*) The child has visitation with the NCP which has to start prior to the end of the week after school ends. The child is to return to the mother before the beginning of the last week prior to school starting.

Oh and the whole shooting the *failing parent* remark was nothing more than sarcasm to show how rediculously juvenile your insinuation was! That part must have flown right over your head.

Thank you for your opinion and input. I am glad that most Judges I have encountered do not simply base a parents perfomance or child-rearing abilities on a couple of slipping grades, as you seem to. By your standards any parent who has ever had a child with bad grades or a cavity for that matter would be considered a failure. Maybe we should shoot them all on sight, ya think? Because, my goodness, where the hell have they been ALL YEAR LONG, if something like that happened, right?

 

[stealth2]

Okay. So why do you think a judge should agree that summer school - in your particular situation - is more important than time with Dad? What HAVE you done during the school year to help her bring the grades up? If it's only not handing in homework - why do you think summer school will solve that problem?

 

[justlilolme]

Okay. So why do you think a judge should agree that summer school - in your particular situation - is more important than time with Dad? What HAVE you done during the school year to help her bring the grades up? If it's only not handing in homework - why do you think summer school will solve that problem?

If the matter ended up in front of a Judge it would be to determine who had the final decision making authority when the parties were unable to agree, based on the current court order, not to determine which is more important.

It has not just been a matter of homework not being turned in. It is in class work that is not being done as well, because of socializing with friends. But I am not going to sit here and explain or justify to you what the school and I have both done, because I don't have to. The teachers and I have our reasons why we feel summer school will solve the problem and your approval or disapproval of them will not change the way I feel about them.

 

[jslopez711]

What kind of grades are we talking about here? C's, D's? How many, any N's in conduct? How serious is this?

 

[stealth2]

If the matter ended up in front of a Judge it would be to determine who had the final decision making authority when the parties were unable to agree, based on the current court order, not to determine which is more important.

It has not just been a matter of homework not being turned in. It is in class work that is not being done as well, because of socializing with friends. But I am not going to sit here and explain or justify to you what the school and I have both done, because I don't have to. The teachers and I have our reasons why we feel summer school will solve the problem and your approval or disapproval of them will not change the way I feel about them.

I suspect you'll find yourself disappointed. But have at it, eh?

 

[Zephyr]

This particular thread is no longer productive, if it ever was, and I don't think the judge would appreciate being told what he may and may not decide on, if you say you want clarification on the that wording, the obvious next question is why- so there you are school or dad.
OP it seems as if you only posted in the first place to get reaffirmation of your position on the interpretation of the order. anyone with a lick of common sense knows that that terminology means the parents decide what happens on their time with the child. otherwise are you willing to give dad the same that you expect? can he say sign her up for drum lessons because he is deciding during his time, even though the activity will have to be followed through with on your time?
and this constant bickering.......we're adults and we're not divorced from each other (at least most of us) can we act like it