surrendering rights to child

[CALGON_ANYONE?]

[



Sorry, but YOU brought it up. Remember?

YOU ARE THE REASON YOUR HUSBAND LEFT YOU!!!
YOUR X-HUSBAND FOUND ANOTHER WOMAN TO REPLACE YOU!!!
YOU ARE HURTING YOUR KIDS!!!
STOP PUNISHING YOUR KIDS, FOR YOUR MISTAKES, AND FOR YOUR X-HUSBAND'S CHOICE TO BE WITH ANOTHER WOMAN!!!(QUOTE)


Again, this is ALL about a pissed off mother whose pride and heart have been hurt. This SHOULD NOT INVOLVE HER CHILD--PERIOD! And the fact that this child's life is being destroyed, because of the selfish actions of his mother, is absolutely unfair.

If this was an issue that involved a boss deciding to terminate employment of the mother and replace her with a 'better' employee, the child should not be put in the middle. Equally, the child should be left out of this matter as well!

I remember pulling my kids off my legs while they were screaming and crying, making them go with their dad. However, they love me for it to this day because, if I had defied court orders and had done nothing to 'push them' to have a relationship with their father, they would not have the stability and emotional balance they have today as a result of their relationship with their father AND his wife.

It is the right of every child to have 2 parents, and it is WRONG for one of those parents to deny, interfere with or discourage those rights! It is our duty as parents I, for one, plan to do everything I can to make sure my children get all the love they deserve!

Show me one statement that proves this woman's actions are based on anything other than her own issues and strictly out of love and respect for her son. Having an affair caused a lot of hurt and as a result their living arrangements changed. But that man is still that child's father and nothing this mother can do will EVER change that fact--even if the child never sees his father again, HE WILL ALWAYS BE HIS FATHER!

If this woman does not change her attitude and her methods of 'handling' her son's anger and sadness over his father leaving the marriage to be with another woman, then it won't be long he will cut the ties with his mother too. Then what, he will have no binding ties with either parent! Is that how a mother shows her love for her children? I think it shows selfishness and foolishness on her behalf! [/B][/QUOTE]

 

[Born to Lease]

You still don't get it! I am not saying this woman CAUSED her husband to cheat or leave...I am saying, clear the dirt from your head & listen! She is the reason, whether or not she caused it or whatever it does not matter! I do not know that, and she might not know why he left either! The point is, she is the REASON...and it is becoming very clear to me that you are in fact...

dnara/calgon person!
NO ONE ELSE WOULD AGREE WITH YOU, EXCEPT YOURSELF!

Some day, when your son is grown and he hardly ever calls you or comes to visit, you will have no one to blame but yourself. Instead of trying to direct your anger and bitterness toward those of us who have tried to help you get it through your thick head, out of concern for your son & even for the sake of trying to get you to stop all of this now--for your sake as well--before it is too late, you should get off your ass & go to your son. Then be there for him, and that includes doing everything that will ensure he gets all the love and emotional support he needs and deserves, & that includes a relationship with his father!

Again, I have not seen one act of kindness or concern by you for your son...don't destroy this kid's chances of having all he can get, the love of two parents! Could you live with yourself, knowing your son did not reach his full potential in life (including accomplishments & happiness) because of your resentment toward your X-Husband???

You don't have to tell us, but you do owe it to yourself & your son to GET OVER IT! (Look at it the way it is--you have given your X-husband ALL the power, even the power to do what is best for your son! Do you realized that you are allowing him to control and further destroy your life??? Take back your power, take care of your son & let your X-husband answer to your son for his sins!)

 

[CALGON_ANYONE?]

I cannot argue with someone like you on a message board. You apparently are not very clear and your attempt to clean up your words is moot.

 

[Born to Lease]

My 17yr. old son said something to me recently that made me realize the importance of my decision to follow the advice of a man who was living the consequences of his parents' resentment and anger toward each other.

This man told me to GET OVER IT, and TAKE BACK MY POWER. My thoughts were much the same as those you have right now...That is crazy! Why would I help my X-Husband, the man who destroyed our family? The long and short of it is, after giving some serious thought to what this guy told me, I made the decision to no longer let my anger toward my X-husband affect my life and the lives of my children.

My son’s comment, “It is weird being old enough to understand things, but I am glad you let me find out for myself what a jerk Dad is. He used to say so much bad stuff about you but you never said one bad word about him or [his wife] Now that I know better, I know all the stuff he used to tell us was all a bunch of lies. I guess that is what you mean about loving your kids no matter what, huh…”

Then he said something that made me understand what taking back my power really means, “I am kind of scared about going away [to college this year[, but I am going to do exactly what you always do…I am never going to let anyone make me mad enough to keep me from doing what I want. Just like you did with Dad, I am going to deal with people but not let them affect my life. Just think, if you were as mad as Dad [was all those years] we would probably be homeless or something! That’s the problem with Dad, he gets all mad whenever things don't go his way and then he can’t accomplish things, lets it get in his way--too busy being all worked up.”

I am glad I am realizing what it means to GET OVER IT & TAKE BACK MY POWER by my son thanking me rather than telling me what he wished I had done. (by the way, in no way did I "help" my X-Husband...only my children.)

And, according to the court's order, I fulfilled my legal obligations to the fullest! (Maybe they know a thing or two about all this "mandatory visitation" stuff being better for our children...)

 

[stealth2]

Great post, BtL.

 

[CALGON_ANYONE?]

As I stated I will not argue with you. Maybe it is time for the poster to experience what you have. That said, you really went off on this woman, and I stuck up for her. If she comes back to post here, hopefully she has enough information to heal, and her son and his father.

 

[CALGON_ANYONE?]

Great post, BtL.

You are correct, it was a great post. However, I firmly believe this site is intended for legal advice.

 

[stealth2]

You are correct, it was a great post. However, I firmly believe this site is intended for legal advice.

It is. And yours was not necessarily correct.

 

[CALGON_ANYONE?]

It is. And yours was not necessarily correct.

I will differ with you on that, and part way's. I will not let a thread keep going without the origional poster posting.

 

[stealth2]

I will differ with you on that, and part way's. I will not let a thread keep going without the origional poster posting.

So you'd say that your post was 100% correct for her situation? And you can't control whether a thread continues or not, chickie.

 

[CALGON_ANYONE?]

I am not a "CHICKIE". Yes I believe I gave the best advice for this person, however, you are playing games. Do you feel that every post you respond to is 100% correct? Hardly.

 

[stealth2]

I am not a "CHICKIE". Yes I believe I gave the best advice for this person, however, you are playing games.

No, I'm not, actually. You gave advice based specifically on your own experience, in a different state. Advice which is not applicable across the board and could lead her to some legal problems. Might not, but could.

But I thought you were done posting to this thread?

 

[TNparent]

chikie -

on law of averages, seeing stealth has over 6000 posts and you are at 12...I'd say steath has a better ratio of correct advice over incorrect when compared to you.

And IMO, this woman needs some serious therapy and so does her kid. She's raising him to disrespect authority and live his life in hate. Kids brought up that way are just going to end up meanaces to society.

 

[CALGON_ANYONE?]

No, I'm not, actually. You gave advice based specifically on your own experience, in a different state. Advice which is not applicable across the board and could lead her to some legal problems. Might not, but could.

But I thought you were done posting to this thread?

No, I said I did not want to continue a thread based on nothing from the poster.

Give the lady advice, I am sure it will be what I stated, (Emotions aside)

 

[CALGON_ANYONE?]

chikie -

on law of averages, seeing stealth has over 6000 posts and you are at 12...I'd say steath has a better ratio of correct advice over incorrect when compared to you.

And IMO, this woman needs some serious therapy and so does her kid. She's raising him to disrespect authority and live his life in hate. Kids brought up that way are just going to end up meanaces to society.

You must be special, because you gave no advice. I already stated the therapy for the son and father.

So I take it this site is not what it say's,because I am getting jumped on by cyber friends.

Let me tell you a little secret. I don't go for that at all, be friends, but at least post in a productive manner.

I don't care how many post's anyone has, is this a problem for this site?

Good Night.