Tattoo...

[rmet4nzkx]

rmet- she has been told that in so many different ways and in the form of the straight truth and she still is h*ll bent on trying to make dad out to be the bad guy for her not getting his okay first.

I know, it happens all the time here, and the big problem is when they don't get it, they are still angry with the judge when they envoke the law. Better they get it here than there.

 

[LdiJ]

3 1" Chinese Symbols is not discreet and yes the judge can change custody.

Rmet...you know as well as I do that its not going to happen without a WHOLE lot more than that....particularly with this dad's background. You just want to continue to bash and scare this mother because she didn't follow the rules the way that you think that they should be followed.

She didn't follow the rules...she was wrong not to have followed the rules.
However, since dad has been such a small part of the child's life...based on dad's own choice...she had become accustomed to doing that.

Ok...now she has learned better.

However she isn't going to lose custody over that....no matter HOW tacky you think that tatoos are....and no, I don't have any, and no one in my family has any.

 

[CarrieT]

rmet- she has been told that in so many different ways and in the form of the straight truth and she still is h*ll bent on trying to make dad out to be the bad guy for her not getting his okay first.

I agree. She is trying to find justification to salve her own conscience so she doesnt have to accept responsibility for making a wrong decision, as she has condemned Dad for being so wrong in so many things, while she is 'above reproach' and what is it she said? something about having no skeltons in her closet? Or words to that effect.

Carrie

 

[lisagr33]

I know, it happens all the time here, and the big problem is when they don't get it, they are still angry with the judge when they envoke the law. Better they get it here than there.

I agree. But the problem is she is still trying to hear what she wants and that is she was in the right letting her son get the tattoo. As long as she hears that what she did was wrong she is going to continue to play it at different angles until she hears what she wants. Sure, everyone that posts here doesn't always hear the advice, opinions or what have you, but the fact of the matter is that even though it might not be what you want to hear but it is the truth. I didn't get the advice that I liked but that didn't make me try to go in different angles to get what I wanted to hear. Also, the truth hurts whether or not they want to realize it. What is going to hurt her worse is if and when dad does take her to court, as you said, she will not like the fact that the judge makes her follow her court order to the letter.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

I agree. But the problem is she is still trying to hear what she wants and that is she was in the right letting her son get the tattoo. As long as she hears that what she did was wrong she is going to continue to play it at different angles until she hears what she wants. Sure, everyone that posts here doesn't always hear the advice, opinions or what have you, but the fact of the matter is that even though it might not be what you want to hear but it is the truth. I didn't get the advice that I liked but that didn't make me try to go in different angles to get what I wanted to hear. Also, the truth hurts whether or not they want to realize it. What is going to hurt her worse is if and when dad does take her to court, as you said, she will not like the fact that the judge makes her follow her court order to the letter.

Believe it or not there have been a few who were as set as OP seems who did actually see the light and were able to be open to a resolution rather than cutting off their nose to fight their face. This is not about a Tattoo. This is about getting even and control, control that mom will lose one way or the other in 2 years where Sonnyboy and dad will be free to have a relationship that is beyond mom's control. Do you honestly think Sonnyboy will forgive mom for the loss of his car and blame dad?

 

[LdiJ]

Rmet, another poster has been trying to get your attention today. I suggested that you might be able to help (other parent suffering from depression and other disorders)....people tried to send you private messages but your box is full...here's the link to the thread.

https://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?t=302633

 

[Kristyna]

Did the dad ask the mom for permission before he bought son a car?

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Did the dad ask the mom for permission before he bought son a car?

The use of the Car was a "gift", apparently both parents already consented to Sonnyboy's DL. Dad doesn't need mom's consent to a gift unless the gift requires consent as in the case of a tattoo, mom was free to control the use of the car and the car could not be in Sonnyboy's name because he is a minor.

 

[lisagr33]

Did the dad ask the mom for permission before he bought son a car?

He might not have, but the point is that a car can easily be taken away. A tattoo is permanent (whether it remains on the person who got it or it is removed). Mom didn't seem to mind the fact that dad got him a car. It probably upset her that it was a 2006 model more than the fact that he got the car.

 

[Kristyna]

Just like the OP, I have made all the decisions throughout the years regarding my kids, so I understand why she thought she didn't need to consult him on this matter. I do believe she should have mentioned it to dad or had the son mention it so he could raise any objections, as it is a permanent/life-changing decision.

The tattoo itself being right or wrong is a matter of opinion. It was all done legally except for not consulting dad.

My daughter had a friend's brother give her a tattoo on her ankle when she was 13. It looks awful and will need to be fixed later in life - she is 17 now.
My son has friends who have tattoos. They were only 14 or 15 when they got them, and they had their parents' permission. Thankfully my son doesn't want one.