The next step

[MomInNE]

Don't Understand

My husband was grant Temp. physical Possession. The judge who granted it was not the judge we normally see. Due to the holiday weekend we had to see the only Judge at the court house that day.
Friday, the lawyers went in front of our normal Judge. He over turned the Ex Parte. He never looked at pictures or any other statements.
The only thing he looked at was what the other Judge looked at. Which is just one statement.
He commented that he would of never signed the ExParte.
We were ordered to go back to the original court order.
A new date was set for Temp. Custody. Which he will look at all the statements and pictures.( Two weeks from now.)
Our problem is the bio mom is living with the boyfriend and my husband's daughter is scared to be around him.
I don't understand why one Judge would grant an Exparte and the other wouldn't. What happen to "in the child's best interest"???

All of the police records and counselor reports have to be supnea.
Which can't be done before the temp, custody hearing. We will have to get them for the final hearing.
We are very concerned about my husbands daughter and her safety.
What can we do in the meantime????

 

[SMURFEELAW]

I know the child is only 6 but what about a cell phone that she can hit one # and call you or dad or the police. Tell her to call whenever and try to make this transition easy enen though it is killing dad and you i'm sure the two of you are probably even more scared than the child. Call her every night (just to say goodnight but she will know dad and you are there) and if you can't get through send the police for a welfare check. Possibly a P.I. to "look" like undercover so dad will be scared. Try getting a restraining order on behalf of the child against the bf then if he is there call the police and have him brought in. Good Luck

 

[casa]

My husband was grant Temp. physical Possession. The judge who granted it was not the judge we normally see. Due to the holiday weekend we had to see the only Judge at the court house that day.
Friday, the lawyers went in front of our normal Judge. He over turned the Ex Parte. He never looked at pictures or any other statements.
The only thing he looked at was what the other Judge looked at. Which is just one statement.
He commented that he would of never signed the ExParte.
We were ordered to go back to the original court order.
A new date was set for Temp. Custody. Which he will look at all the statements and pictures.( Two weeks from now.)
Our problem is the bio mom is living with the boyfriend and my husband's daughter is scared to be around him.
I don't understand why one Judge would grant an Exparte and the other wouldn't. What happen to "in the child's best interest"???

All of the police records and counselor reports have to be supnea.
Which can't be done before the temp, custody hearing. We will have to get them for the final hearing.
We are very concerned about my husbands daughter and her safety.
What can we do in the meantime????

I t hink the judge is awaiting the professionals' opinions. ie; counselor reports and police records. Otherwise it's your word against the other parent. And pictures, while sometimes evidenciary- can be taken at anytime, so proving WHEN and WHERE they were taken is the obstacle.

Get all the documentation in order and supply it to the court ASAP. If you have cause for concern in the meantime re; statments your child makes or any other alarming bruises or failure on the other parents side to follow court order- report it to the appropriate authorities.

 

[MomInNE]

I understand that the Judge wants to wait for a professional opinion. But in the mean time what about the Child's safety?
As for the pictures, I still have the pictures on my digital camera which has a date and time stamped on it. It shows I took the pictures 20 minutes after bio mom dropped daughter off with me.

Bio mom isn't letting my husband talk to his daughter over the phone. She keeps hanging up or making excuses why daughter can't talk.
If we give her a cell phone, Bio mom will take it and most likely run up the bill.

The judge did not want to hear anything last Friday, we wanted to get a restraining order.

I did let my step daughter know that if she is scared and if the B/F hurts her or her mom call 911..even if she has to wait until everyone is asleep.

I guess we are doing everything we can.
We will try and hold her in contempt if she continues to dodge my husbands calls to his daughter.
She goes to school on Monday. My husband is thinking on going to the school to check on her.
Thanks.
If you have any other suggestions for us, please reply.

 

[casa]

I understand that the Judge wants to wait for a professional opinion. But in the mean time what about the Child's safety?
As for the pictures, I still have the pictures on my digital camera which has a date and time stamped on it. It shows I took the pictures 20 minutes after bio mom dropped daughter off with me.

Bio mom isn't letting my husband talk to his daughter over the phone. She keeps hanging up or making excuses why daughter can't talk.
If we give her a cell phone, Bio mom will take it and most likely run up the bill.

The judge did not want to hear anything last Friday, we wanted to get a restraining order.

I did let my step daughter know that if she is scared and if the B/F hurts her or her mom call 911..even if she has to wait until everyone is asleep.

I guess we are doing everything we can.
We will try and hold her in contempt if she continues to dodge my husbands calls to his daughter.
She goes to school on Monday. My husband is thinking on going to the school to check on her.
Thanks.
If you have any other suggestions for us, please reply.

The thing is unless the court order specifies that Dad has phone contact, she won't be held in contempt re; that.

I understand to you it is easy to see the pictures are from when they are from- but as you may know, when you set the time/date on a digital camera- so you can set an incorrect time/date. NOT saying you did that, but pictures are hard to nail down in terms of proving when they were taken.

Just hang in there until the professional's reports are in. Contact CPS if the child is turned over to you for visitation with any other marks, bruises. I know it's nerve racking for you, but following the procedures of the system is the best bet for all of you.

 

[MomInNE]

Thanks

The court order does say that my husband has "unrestricted telephone, mail and e mail contact with minor child at reasonable times while the child is sharing parenting time with the other parent."

I didn't think about the fact that someone could change the time and date on a camera.
The police also took a roll of film of daughters' injury that day.

My husband also has the right to all educational professionals that deal with his daughter.
Can he inform the school of what is going on, to make them aware to watch for any unusual marks or bruises?
His daughter has had many behavioral problems at school; we have record of this. From hitting to disrupting class for an hour, getting sent to the principal many times, and one suspension. She's only in the 1 St grade.
She has also been tardy for school 11 times so far.
Does the Judge have to take this into consideration?

One more thing...
Our Governor has been big on reforming how caseworkers handle child abuse cases. That too many children fall through the cracks and end up dead at the hands of the neglected parent or abuser.
Will it help to write our Governor about our situation?

 

[casa]

The court order does say that my husband has "unrestricted telephone, mail and e mail contact with minor child at reasonable times while the child is sharing parenting time with the other parent."

I didn't think about the fact that someone could change the time and date on a camera.
The police also took a roll of film of daughters' injury that day.

My husband also has the right to all educational professionals that deal with his daughter.
Can he inform the school of what is going on, to make them aware to watch for any unusual marks or bruises?
His daughter has had many behavioral problems at school; we have record of this. From hitting to disrupting class for an hour, getting sent to the principal many times, and one suspension. She's only in the 1 St grade.
She has also been tardy for school 11 times so far.
Does the Judge have to take this into consideration?

One more thing...
Our Governor has been big on reforming how caseworkers handle child abuse cases. That too many children fall through the cracks and end up dead at the hands of the neglected parent or abuser.
Will it help to write our Governor about our situation?

In that case, document how many times father calls the child and is not allowed to talk to her. Have father call the mother and 'remind' her of his court ordered right to call his daughter and ask the child be allowed to call him back if she's busy etc. when he calls. Then take the 'log' of times he is denied that right to your next court hearing.

It's good that the police have photos of your daughter also- Those will hold a lot of weight with the judge when he gets them.

I know it's nerve-racking and you are doing all you can. Get going on those subpoenas, so the reports/documents/photographs get into the court file ASAP. The judge may just be erring on the side of caution- They must consider all possible scenarios in cases. It's wise to take more time considering and come to the correct conclusions, than it is to come to the wrong conclusions by acting hastily.

Re; the tardiness. Schools have attendance guidelines, and unusual amounts of tardi or absences are forwarded by electronic generation to the school boards/district. He can ask the school is the childs amount of tardi days are outside of the 'norm', and if so, get documentation of that.

Father can inform her school about the situation. Schools can be excellent advocates for children. Most have psychologists or counselors on grounds, and perhaps you can ask that one speak to her to see how she's doing. This may already have happened considering her suspension etc.

Has the child been evaluated for any Learning Disabilities? Many learning disabled students get into a lot of trouble at school in the early years, until they are matched with the appropriate curriculim. What are the report cards and parent teacher conferences like? How involved has the father been in all of this?

 

[MomInNE]

My husband has been very involved with her school.
As for her report cards, her grades are great. She is a very smart girl. At parent teacher conferences,
Her teacher says she is doing very well. It's her behavior that is her problem at school. On her report card it states in the comments how she does not listen or respect her teachers. She doesn't keep her hands or feet to herself.
She had to change teachers already this year.

My husband will go to her school monday and inform them of what's going on.
I am sure she will most likely act out in school. She doesn't know how to handle her anger. With everything going on, we are doing our best to help her understand.
I will make sure I call the school district about the tardiness.
As for the subpoenas, we have to get the judge to sign for them.Which I understand takes time. Our lawyer has all the info for everything we need.
Thanks Again!

 

[gretchensanders]

the woman doesnt deserve to be a mother!

its a shame the mother cares more for her bf then she does about her daughter,some people arent fit to be parents,and this is a prime example.has your husband thought of bringing charges against the mom for failing to protect her daughter? that is a crime,btw.sounds like she has a lot of growing up to do.

 

[MomInNE]

It is sad!
Daughter told Bio mom that she love her B/F more than her.
She's only 6 and she figured it out.

My Husband and I talked about it, we are going to give her a cell phone that can only call 911.
She has other play cell phones so Bio mom won't notice.
When B/F starts hitting her mom or her she can call 911.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Of course she knows children are smart.
When you get the cell phone allow it to dial 911 and your number also.

 

[MomInNE]

Does he have to pay?

We go back to court on the 21st to try for temp. custody.

Bio mom is now putting their daughter in daycare when she is not in school.
I usually watch her, I have been for the past two years. If I can not watch her my husbands grandma watches her.
My husbands grandma has been watching their daughter since she was born.
( before my husband and I married and when I can't)
Now that the bio mom is mad that we reported the abuse and my husband is trying for custody, she says she is putting their daughter in daycare when she in not in school.
The court order says my husband is to pay half of reasonable school and work related daycare.
My husband finds this unreasonable, since Bio mom is clearly doing this out of anger.

Of course this is the least of our worries since his daughter in back under the B/F's roof.

Is my husband responsible for 1/2 of this daycare?

 

[casa]

We go back to court on the 21st to try for temp. custody.

Bio mom is now putting their daughter in daycare when she is not in school.
I usually watch her, I have been for the past two years. If I can not watch her my husbands grandma watches her.
My husbands grandma has been watching their daughter since she was born.
( before my husband and I married and when I can't)
Now that the bio mom is mad that we reported the abuse and my husband is trying for custody, she says she is putting their daughter in daycare when she in not in school.
The court order says my husband is to pay half of reasonable school and work related daycare.
My husband finds this unreasonable, since Bio mom is clearly doing this out of anger.

Of course this is the least of our worries since his daughter in back under the B/F's roof.

Is my husband responsible for 1/2 of this daycare?

QUOTE]

It sounds like, according to the court order, that Yes he is responsible for work related daycare- which includes daycare the child is in while under mom's care and mom is at work. However, you can also file paperwork re; the existing agreement being that yourself or grandmother provide daycare and affidavits from you both that you have done so for the past 2 years, and her whole life (respectively).
Enrollment paperwork from the daycare will prove the child was not in daycare until X date- which corresponds with the filing of CPS complaints. Your attorney should mention your objection to daycare is possibly that the mother does not want the child to be viewed by yourself and/or the grandmother to avoid any continuing abuse to be reported. However, be prepared for the counter-argument that daycares are mandated reporters. The key here is the previous standing YEARS of agreement re; childcare and the corresponding time of changing to daycare being after you reported signs of abuse.

Have you contacted your attorney about this recent development?

 

[MomInNE]

Yes I have contacted our attorney. We are waiting to hear from him.

Bio mom excuse for sending her to daycare is...that's what the daughter wants to do. ( She's 6)

I do have e mails stating the agreement we've had, concerning daycare.

 

[casa]

Yes I have contacted our attorney. We are waiting to hear from him.

Bio mom excuse for sending her to daycare is...that's what the daughter wants to do. ( She's 6)

I do have e mails stating the agreement we've had, concerning daycare.

Give the emails to your attorney- sometimes they are allowed in court, and sometimes they are not for various reasons.

She's 6? Why doesn't she go to school? Or is daycare afterschool? Has the child stated she wanted to go to you or your husband? (Its' possible Mom brought it up and the child liked the idea) If it's only aftercare, then 50% of that won't be a huge cost. And in a way, you can be somewhat confident that they are mandated reporters also- so they'd likely get to know the child and pay attention to any signs of abuse. (You may want to wait until the outcome of the abuse allegations- and if they are proven, ask your attorney if your husband can forward that information to the daycare so they can be aware)