Travel Expenses

[stealth2]

What is the name of your state? NJ

Just curious on what others think is reasonable. My ex and I split transportation/expenses (sometimes they fly, sometimes they're driven). In the past, when I've made reservations (and paid up front), the ex has reimbursed me his share once the trip is completed (usually as a separate check sent with the next CS). Fine - my choice whether I book more than a trip at a time.

The ex has now decided that HE will make the reservations, and will deduct my portion of the fare when the expense is incurred - whether he books only one trip at a time, or five. And then deduct it from the support check. I have asked him repeatedly not to do so, and I would reimburse him within 7 days of the flights. He's ignored that in the past.

I've yet to receive an August check from him (he pays directly), and suspect that he's done it again, booked several trips in advance, and just taken it out of the CS - basically booked as many trips as the CS would cover.

Does this seem reasonable to anyone? I don't rely on the CS, but the budget's cut pretty close and I do figure it into other expenses (such as school supplies and school clothes). While the fares would have to be paid regardless, it would be easier for me if I were able to budget into several months rather than in one fell swoop. We're talking roughly $250 a pop for each of us. And no, I haven't received any paperwork that reservations have been made.

Am I being unreasonable? Should I look into having future CS go through CSE (okay, that's kind of a stupid question)?

 

[TLWE]

JMHO, but I have never believed in messing around with the CS.

Years ago with DH's ex..if she owed him for a non-prescription drug she charged, then that would be deducted from...say the next doc bill she paid up front and had to be reimbursed for. Nothing was ever added or deducted from CS; that was always kept separate.

Edited for spelling correction.

 

[Smarty Panties]

Am I being unreasonable?

No, your ex is being his usual dickhead self.

Should I look into having future CS go through CSE

Definately!

 

[BL]

Stealth , how is the Order written ?

IF the Orders do not give him a right do deduct it like that , I would point that out .

I would also demand that any reimbursement be done on a visit to visit basis , and proof of the cost before reimbusement be paid .

Reimbursement is Just that , reimbursment . Why should you have to pay for reimbursement BEFORE the fact ?

Tell him you figure it that way ( After the Fact that the transport has already taken place ) into your budget.

I would not allow the deduction to come out of CS payments , unless he's allowed to by court order, and then on ONLY the transport that has ALREADY occurred. And I'd want proof .

 

[tigger2two]

tell him that he never felt that he had to pay before the trip was completed so why does he think it should be any different for you! I wouldn't suggest going through CSE those ppl are idiots. A year after the fact and having the order signed back in July i still haven't seen a penny from those ppl.

 

[stealth2]

The transportation order was written simply that we split transportation. At the time, we were closer together and driving was the only way it was done - he'd get them Friday from school, I'd get the Sunday from his house. Since then, he's moved further away, making it a 6+ hour O/W drive. Usually the kids fly, but if he doesn't feel like paying the airfare, he decides to drive and I can get them home any way I please (as long as I don't pick them up before 6pm). It's a contentious situation and has been since we separated.

There is no verbiage about any deductions from the CS. When we've had reimbursements (medical or transportation) that he's owed me, I've asked him to send a separate check for accounting purposes for both of us. Similarly, I've sent him separate checks when I've owed him. My thinking is that it's best for both of us if these other finances are separately marked so that neither of us can claim the other isn't meeting their obligations. He has, in the past, returned my checks to me voided and deducted from the CS. Can someone say "control freak"?

tigger2 - I have told him that. And he simply disregards it. He makes the rules, and that's it.

 

[BL]

In NJ , can you file a Modification Petition ? If so I would and get it spelled out in specifics .

Also , if there is NO reference to him deducting it this way , he is in violation . But I suppose he's willing to argue that point too .

I'd take him to court instead of contacting CSE .

 

[stealth2]

Well, we are actually just waiting for a judgement on a CS modification (ongoing for 18 mos now). My lawyer is waiting for his lawyer to find out what's going on.

Also just had a contempt judgement (all of his claims were denied by the judge).

Needless to say, the judge is totally fed up with this whole situation. I would prefer not to take it to court yet again if it's not necessary, 'cause I think he's gonna blow pretty soon.

 

[BL]

18 months is way too long . The judge should blow up , and throw a big thick book at him

 

[stealth2]

LOL it took close to a year to get any sort of financial info from him and to get him in for a depo. 15 mos to get to arbitration (tho he refused to attend himself). 17 mos to actually end up in 3 full (!) days of trial - which is when he FINALLY produced tax returns and W-2's - one of which was played with (ever hear of W-2's with whited out info and hand-written numbers?). Now over a month waiting for the ruling. PITA.

 

[SM5NY]

No why he should make the reservations and take it from you CS. I'd keep it separate. Or continue to do it the way you did before where you made the reservation and he paid you half back. Why all of the sudden does he want to change it??

 

[stealth2]

Because then he's in control. Of course, now I have received our son's school schedule which complicates things - he has two core subjects (Lit & Pre-Algebra) at the end of the day - which he'd have to miss if they take the flights my ex would book.

 

[SM5NY]

MMMmmm, well then does your court prior order (like most) state that visitation can not interrupt with school?

 

[stealth2]

We actually have an order that if the kids are flying commercially, they may be pulled out of school at noon. If their grades suffer, that will be revisited. I think our son will be able to handle it - as long as Dad accepts that there will be some time needed by him to do some schoolwork while there. To make up 3 periods of class, plus the weekend's homework, on top of the regular homework on Monday is going to be a real strain on the boy.

 

[tigger22472]

I would contact your lawyer and tell him that with all this going on that with the CS mod you want it to start going through CSE. I too find it wrong for you to pay for those flights before they happen... hell he didn't pay you until afterwards.. You never know what's going to happen. I would have the order(if you decide to take it to court) say that if YOU fly them there, HE flies them back or something like that and hopefully that would prevent anyone having to pay someone else back. And YES unless that order says the transportation money can be taken out of CS then he's in contempt.