visitation/warrant

[BeckySue]

What is the name of your state? Wisconsin

Here is the problem my current husband and I have, My ex-husband was sentenced to 150 days in jail for non support with a $4000.00 purge amount. The judge then stayed the sentence for 3 years as long as he remained current and paid toward the arrears. He has now failed and I filed a affidavit and commitment papers to have a warrant issued. The papers are going to take a week or so to get processed and for him to get picked up by the sheriffs department. He is scheduled to have a extended Christmas visit with the kids. Now that a warrant placed for his arrest do we have to send the kids down to see him? There is a good chance he could be picked up when they are in his custody. We are finically limited and cannot afford to work with our lawyer at this time and the people at child support and the state have no real advice to offer us. What do you think??

Frustrated in Wisconsin
Becky

 

[stealth2]

It would really be worthwhile asking your lawyer's opinion on this.

 

[LdiJ]

It would really be worthwhile asking your lawyer's opinion on this.

Although I agree with Stealth, I will go ahead and throw out a few comments anyway. Yes, its very possible that he could get arrested while the kids are with him and that could be traumatic for them.

Also, if he somehow manages to avoid getting picked up on the warrant, and files contempt against you for the denial of the holiday visitation, then when he goes to court he would certainly be somewhere where he could easily be picked up if the proper authorities were notified that he would be at a particular place at a particular time. (hint hint)

 

[VeronicaGia]

You do not have the right to deny his court ordered visitation. Visitation and support are separate issues.

And if he gets put in jail, how exactly do you expect him to pay support?

 

[karma1]

nice Christmas present for the kids, too...

while dad is failing, according to this post, to meet his obligations, I would not want to be the one responsible for putting the children through the trauma of dad being arrested (if that happens) during the holidays--nor would I want to be the one to explain this to them....

 

[stealth2]

Yeah... if you absolutely felt the need to do this, your timing sucked bigtime. What would it have hurt to wait another week or two so that the kids could have Christmas with their Dad w/o the risk of being locked up?

 

[LdiJ]

Yeah... if you absolutely felt the need to do this, your timing sucked bigtime. What would it have hurt to wait another week or two so that the kids could have Christmas with their Dad w/o the risk of being locked up?

Thats a valid point but lets remember that she may have had very little control over the timing. If she were in my area she could have initiated this months ago and just now got to this point.....and would have had a specific deadline to sign and return the paperwork.

 

[stealth2]

He has now failed and I filed a affidavit and commitment papers to have a warrant issued. The papers are going to take a week or so to get processed and for him to get picked up by the sheriffs department.

It's possible, but the above (from her initial post) would indicate that this was recently filed - by OP. I'd give credence to the possibility of it taking several months for processing if she hadn't stated that it takes a week or so....

 

[BeckySue]

re:

This is not the first time that my ex-husband has been taken to court for non-payment. The state is also has a case running at this time. He has not worked for over a year. He also quit his last 3 jobs all good high paying jobs with benefits. He further has not paid any medical bills, Day care or even had a roof to put over the kids head from time to time when they were with him on visitation. He loses water,electric,Phone services for months at a time. His own mom was paying his support to keep him out of jail,She has now even given up on him. Mind you this is a women whom is a episcopal nun and has very little to give, I think her for her efforts on his behalf but its time for this 40 year old man to learn that he is hurting the kids.The Judge had placed these orders on him due to his lack of responsibility. To say im being heart less for for my actions are misunderstood, This is a man that once told me to live on welfare so he could ignore his responsibltys to his kids. The timeing might not be nice, However I need for him to understand his role in the kids life,and keep in mind that the timeing for him to not pay is also not right. As far as our kids missing a christmas with their father there scared of him and don't want to have to stay god knows where.

Holding up my end of the deal
Becky

 

[haiku]

This is not the first time that my ex-husband has been taken to court for non-payment. The state is also has a case running at this time. He has not worked for over a year. He also quit his last 3 jobs all good high paying jobs with benefits. He further has not paid any medical bills, Day care or even had a roof to put over the kids head from time to time when they were with him on visitation. He loses water,electric,Phone services for months at a time. His own mom was paying his support to keep him out of jail,She has now even given up on him. Mind you this is a women whom is a episcopal nun and has very little to give, I think her for her efforts on his behalf but its time for this 40 year old man to learn that he is hurting the kids.The Judge had placed these orders on him due to his lack of responsibility. To say im being heart less for for my actions are misunderstood, This is a man that once told me to live on welfare so he could ignore his responsibltys to his kids. The timeing might not be nice, However I need for him to understand his role in the kids life,and keep in mind that the timeing for him to not pay is also not right. As far as our kids missing a christmas with their father there scared of him and don't want to have to stay god knows where.

Holding up my end of the deal
Becky

it always amazes me how it is never in the FIRST post that not only is dad behind on support, but the kids are scared and don't want to visit dad.

As a MOM this boggles me, because the money would NOT be my first concern, if I was posting to a message board.

seems to me this poster knows exactly what she is doing...... (denying dad his christmas visits to punish him for his lack of financial responsibility, which will likely accomplish nothing financially....just cause emotional confusion for the children)

 

[stealth2]

I was thinking the same thing, haiku.

 

[LdiJ]

I was thinking the same thing, haiku.

Again, that's possible, but I do think that we often stereotype people on these boards too much. Honestly, how many deadbeat parents are also actively participating in their children's lives? In terms of percentages its pretty low. When it gets to the point where a judge actually gives them a jail sentence and suspends it based on future good behavior, we all know that its gotten really serious....and we all know that they probably haven't been active in their children's lives.

This obviously this isn't a dad who just got behind due to a layoff or an unexpected financial problem. This is obviously a dad who is chronically in arrears.....and if we were talking to dad we would be telling him that his kid's needs don't change just because his financial circumstances change.

Also...and COME ON GUYS AND GALS...newbies come to message boards with specific questions on their minds. I doubt it occurs to most of them to give an entire history before asking their questions....and some of them probably don't realize that the details even matter...and half the time they really don't...the details only make us decide whether or not we CARE about the parent's case.

The bottom line is that this dad deserves to have his jail sentence imposed. Its unlikely that he is an active parent. His kids are probably suffering because he isn't paying his child support. The board is beating up mom because of her timing and ignoring the fact that dad DESERVES to be in jail.

Maybe her "timing" will get dad's attention better than anything else could. Have you considered that? Maybe her timing will get dad's whole family on his case pushing him to make good on his responsibilities.

I have a friend whose husband was a "deadbeat dad" for a long time. (4 kids) he was also an emotionally abusive father (she ADMITS this..and he has been emotionally abusive to HER kids too, but she won't leave him because of religion...don't even get me started....sigh). They ignored child support for his 4 kids until he got jailed....and that happened to be at a holiday time too....that why his family found out he was a deadbeat and ALL got on his tush.

He pays his child support now...because NOW if he doesn't his entire family, including his wife won't support him....he knows that if he gets jailed again they will leave him there. His wife (my friend) now also WORKS...which she didn't before. She is now in charge of the household budget which she wasn't before......and I still think she needs to leave him because he is emotionally abusive to HER children....sigh...but at least the finances are under control.

 

[Whyte Noise]

Now that a warrant placed for his arrest do we have to send the kids down to see him?

***If there is a current court order stating he has visitation as such and such time... then you most certainly do.

There is a good chance he could be picked up when they are in his custody.

***According to your post... yes... yes, there is.

We are finically limited and cannot afford to work with our lawyer at this time and the people at child support and the state have no real advice to offer us.

***That's because they only handle the "money" aspect of it and have nothing to do with Visitation or custody.

What do you think??

I think that until you have another court order that says dad doesn't get extended visitation for Christmas, you better be sending the kiddies on to dad's for his current court ordered visitation.

He may be in contempt for the CS issue... but you could also be found in contempt for the visitation issue.

 

[Lils]

"However I need for him to understand his role in the kids life"

Here's the reality: the best role in his kids' life is being able to be in contact with them, exercise his visitation, and communicate with them regularly. Don't mix CS with visitation.

Also, he's the one who should understand his role in his children's life....not to sound crass about it, but you are his ex.....it's his decision how involved he wants to be in their life......you don't control him anymore. Hopefully, he wants to be involved, and that's all you can do....HOPE!

Lils

 

[haiku]

Again, that's possible, but I do think that we often stereotype people on these boards too much. Honestly, how many deadbeat parents are also actively participating in their children's lives? In terms of percentages its pretty low. When it gets to the point where a judge actually gives them a jail sentence and suspends it based on future good behavior, we all know that its gotten really serious....and we all know that they probably haven't been active in their children's lives.

***No where in the initial post is mom concerned that dad never sees the kids and is only now seeing them at christmas. it seems he does have an ongoing relationship with his kids. whether its 'enough' or to moms liking is irrelevent to the fact he is taking his visits. And through out my life I have come across quite a few dads in passing who had issues with support yet still saw thier kids.****

This obviously this isn't a dad who just got behind due to a layoff or an unexpected financial problem. This is obviously a dad who is chronically in arrears.....and if we were talking to dad we would be telling him that his kid's needs don't change just because his financial circumstances change.

***Actually it sounds like dad has likely had chronic issues with responsibility through out his life, and it is likely not a surorise to the OP if she thinks about it.... And as far as kids needs not changing, tell that to kids in intact families. the problem is alot of NCP have no idea they can attempt to get a decrease in support...******

Also...and COME ON GUYS AND GALS...newbies come to message boards with specific questions on their minds. I doubt it occurs to most of them to give an entire history before asking their questions....and some of them probably don't realize that the details even matter...and half the time they really don't...the details only make us decide whether or not we CARE about the parent's case.

***COME ON, first post she does not want the kids traumitized by an arrest, second post it more the kids just don't want to go arrest or not.***

The bottom line is that this dad deserves to have his jail sentence imposed. Its unlikely that he is an active parent.***Now who's stereotyping*** His kids are probably suffering because he isn't paying his child support.***BOO HOO....(not saying dad shouldn't be living up to his responsibilities but come on....)**** The board is beating up mom because of her timing and ignoring the fact that dad DESERVES to be in jail. ***NO...we are thinking of innocent children who should not be exposed to this stuff, especially at christmas, might of been better if mom had thought of dads visitation times before planning his arrest? got it done during a block of time he does not have?***

Maybe her "timing" will get dad's attention better than anything else could. Have you considered that? Maybe her timing will get dad's whole family on his case pushing him to make good on his responsibilities.

***yeah because his finally paying support will help pay for the kids therapists*****

I have a friend whose husband was a "deadbeat dad" for a long time. (4 kids) he was also an emotionally abusive father (she ADMITS this..and he has been emotionally abusive to HER kids too, but she won't leave him because of religion...don't even get me started....sigh). They ignored child support for his 4 kids until he got jailed....and that happened to be at a holiday time too....that why his family found out he was a deadbeat and ALL got on his tush.

He pays his child support now...because NOW if he doesn't his entire family, including his wife won't support him....he knows that if he gets jailed again they will leave him there. His wife (my friend) now also WORKS...which she didn't before. She is now in charge of the household budget which she wasn't before......and I still think she needs to leave him because he is emotionally abusive to HER children....sigh...but at least the finances are under control.
****"stereotyping" and certainly not relevant to most blended family situation I know......*****

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