What happens if I move?

[kw0602]

What is the name of your state?AL
My wife and I will be moving to CA for a year and maybe longer for her to do a travel nursing assignment. During that time, I will not be working. I currently have full custody of my 6 and 7 year olds. There is nothing in my court order about moving, it says that I must inform my ex of the whereabouts of the kids.

She is telling my kids that she will never let me take them out of this state, can she stop me? Is there anything that she can do legally to make us come back? Will we have to go back to court to modify her visitation? We currently have standard visitation and we can easily find out what the standard is with us being seperated.

Lastly, my ex is not working, she is "disabled". She gets government benfits and is ordered to pay CS from those benefits. Will her CS change since I will not be working? Can my wife's income be used at all in the CS figuring with me not working? If so what happens if she refuses to have her income used?

Thanks for answering.

 

[stealth2]

She can contest the move. A court can allow the move, or can order the kids to stay in AL - which will cause you to choose moving with your wife and giving up custody, or staying in AL with the kids.

Yes, visitation will have to be modified - and you can expect to have to pay for travel expenses to facilitate visitation. At a minimum, expect all school holidays and the bulk of the summer to go to Mom (assuming the move is allowed).

 

[ktarra617]

yes your ex can fight your move. She can go to court and ask that the court limit your children's residence so that they cannot leave the state. You can effect be told by the court if you want to move go ahead but the kids are not going anywhere.

Ofcourse this depends on if she actually files something.

You must give her ample notice by whatever timeframe is spelled out in your decree for notification. Usually 30-60 days. During that time it is her option to get a lawyer and file to stop the move...

and btw she can wait till you are packing up the moving van and literally walking out the door to leave to have you served...seen this done, so don't think that can't happen. Btw my hubby stopped his ex from moving so these kinds of rulings are done..

so I would get yourself to a lawyer in your area and find out what your options are...

as to the child support you should really consult a lawyer or maybe one of the other posters would reply to that....

 

[kw0602]

Since it does not actually say that I have to give her notice of a move, do I? Why can't I tell her where they are once we are there? We actually will not have changed residence until we have moved. This is what my order says Each parent shall keep the other informed on a current basis as to the primary residence address and telephone number where the child(ren) reside(s) or visit(s).

It is doubtful that my ex would get custody considering that she was ruled as an unfit parent. If I can be told that I can go but the kids can't who will they be with, I am sure that my ex could not have them live with her again.

What I have read about the AL visitation when seperated by distance is that the NCP must pay for visits if she wants to visit with the kids. How would it be possible for me to pay for them to visit her if I am not working? This means that I have no income. According to AL standard visitation when seperated by distance if she wants to see them then she has to provide a way for them to get to her.

Thanks for your replies.

 

[tigger22472]

Your best bet is to file on your own for a change. Yes, the judge can stop the move but if you can prove WHY it is beneficial to you and the children they can grant it. No one can tell you exactly what hte judge will do. If you file for it and it's granted your ex can't stop you at the last minute and cause a bunch of trouble.

 

[stealth2]

So... you intend to move the children half a country away, not tell their mother until after the fact, and make her pay for travel if she wants to see the kids. Nice. If you were the bioMom, you'd be called a b*tch for that. Deservedly. Being the bioFather makes it no better.

Once again, relevant info is only included when the answer isn't the one desired. Making it suspect.

And you may want to check what AL statutes are regarding notification of a move.

 

[haiku]

wow! is all I have to say.

And I was under the impression that if you, as CP are willfully unemployed, and it can be proven you are living off your spouse to do so, it may be possible to use the spouses income for child support purposes. (or I would at least reccommend to your ex, your imputed income be used, including the expenses you insist she will have to incur to visit her children)

 

[stealth2]

I missed that willful unemployment part! LOL I can just hear the shrieking if this was a bioMom posting!

 

[kw0602]

So... you intend to move the children half a country away, not tell their mother until after the fact, and make her pay for travel if she wants to see the kids. Nice. If you were the bioMom, you'd be called a b*tch for that. Deservedly. Being the bioFather makes it no better.
YEP! I could care less about her all I care about is my kids. She can talk to them once or twice a week as she does now if she chooses to exercise that right. How would I be able to pay for my kids to visit her if I am not working??????
They don't care to visit wit hher anyway, but they do want to talk to her. I will not take that away from my kids.
As my court order says I have to let her know where the kids are, no more.
Anything else you would like to know about the siutation with my kids please ask. I would be more than happy to share.

 

[stealth2]

You're not working because you choose not to, apparently. I'm not saying anything I wouldn't say to a CP who happened to be a mother.

If state law requires you to give prior notice - you have to do so regardless of what your order says.

How do you expect her to pay for visitation if she's on disability? She pays the support she's ordered to, she sees the kids as per the visitation schedule. She's holding up her end of the bargain. Expect that if a CS modification is filed - you will be imputed your previous income. The courts don't appreciate CPs quitting their jobs and then expecting the NCP to pay more anymore than they appreciate the flip side of the situation.

How big of you to allow the phone calls. And as long as there is a visitation schedule - you're required to abide by it regardless what the kids want or where you live. If you move and can't provide every other w/e - expect a contempt charge. I would bet cold hard cash that the judge would not be amused by your actions.

And no - you don't need to provide any further info. You provided what you thought was relevant already. Anything else is going to simply come across as a way to make bioMom look bad.

 

[haiku]

YEP! I could care less about her all I care about is my kids.

*****Nice attitude!, whether you like her or not, she is THIER MOTHER, and they have a RIGHT to a relationship and to love her. Part of your job as custodial parent i sto make sure yo udo everything in your power to make sure this happens, or you risk losong your rightto custodial custody.****

She can talk to them once or twice a week as she does now if she chooses to exercise that right. How would I be able to pay for my kids to visit her if I am not working??????

***GET A JOB. You moved the kids away, so it becomes YOUR responsibility. Using that analogy, why does your ex have ot pay child support? she is on disability, after all.********

They don't care to visit wit hher anyway, but they do want to talk to her. I will not take that away from my kids.

***Why is that? could it be YOUR animosity, and the fact that children will always want to please the parent they have to live with? very sad****

As my court order says I have to let her know where the kids are, no more.
Anything else you would like to know about the siutation with my kids please ask. I would be more than happy to share.

***I hope for your childrens sake she does take it to court. Because your post just makes me very sad.**

 

[kw0602]

Actually, she is not holding up her end of the bargain. She does not see the kids on a regular schedule, sometimes she does sometimes she doesn't. But my kids know when they are supposed to go and guess who gets to change their plans when she does not show? ME! She has not given them anything in the last two years, not a pair of underwear, so I would not even start on CS. As a man I feel like it is my resonsibility to take care or my own kids, whether she does her part or not.

The reason my kids don't cry to see her anymore is because they know that half the time she does not show up anyway.
I will be unemployed because someone has to be there to take care of the kids ALL of them. (I will have two babies with my current wife.)

How could she expect me to pay for visits if I am not working? Working or not if I wanted to see my kids I would.

 

[stealth2]

Again - if it was important, you would have mentioned it from the get-go. Now you're adding on 'cause you don't like the responses you're getting.

You CHOOSE not to work. Too bad. If a court orders you to pay for visitation travel - you'll have to pay it. Get a job. Or your wife can pay it.

Sorry, I have no sympathy for your situation.

 

[kw0602]

If the court ordered me to pay for the kids to visit, it would be impossible for me to do without a job. What more can they do, hold me in contempt, as they would also have to hold her contempt for not paying her court ordered CS.

I don't expect their mother to do anything. This keeps my kids and I both clear headed. I am sorry to my your hearts troubled for my kids well being but I can assure you that they will be well taken care of. If what you are saying is true, I am assuming that by the time all this is cleared up my kids will be back home in AL.

Thanks again for your responses. I am not at all offended by your comments, I welcome them. I dislike their mother so much that I am often not willing to hear what she has to say. I guess I can think of you as her spokespersons. AS much as I hate to say it, I do need to know what the other side thinks.

 

[stealth2]

And you know what - your kids feel that dislike.

And if you're ordered to pay (and don't), the court can find you in contempt and reverse custody. You say it'll never happen - never is a long, long time.