What happens if parents disagree over a developmental evaluation?

[InfantCustody]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NC

When a child has been referred for a developmental evaluation, what happens when one parent (can you guess which one? ) is saying they disagree with the evaluation being carried out?

We share joint legal and physical custody. Ex's attorney never typed up the final custody order (it is the hand written order from the trial day), so all it says re: joint legal custody is "Standard joint custody language will apply."

Reason for the evaluation is Little IC isn't speaking any words, doesn't stack blocks, is still resisting eye contact/any close physical contact and is not "on track" for his age. Additionally, if he is in a noisy environment, he will cover or hit his ears.

How does this work? At this point, I have not cancelled his evaluation and do not intend to do so unless I am advised otherwise. I feel like 2 MD's (both mine and ex's) think he may have a delay, so the evaluation is necessary.

Thoughts?

 

[mistoffolees]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NC

When a child has been referred for a developmental evaluation, what happens when one parent (can you guess which one? ) is saying they disagree with the evaluation being carried out?

We share joint legal and physical custody. Ex's attorney never typed up the final custody order (it is the hand written order from the trial day), so all it says re: joint legal custody is "Standard joint custody language will apply."

Reason for the evaluation is Little IC isn't speaking any words, doesn't stack blocks, is still resisting eye contact/any close physical contact and is not "on track" for his age. Additionally, if he is in a noisy environment, he will cover or hit his ears.

How does this work? At this point, I have not cancelled his evaluation and do not intend to do so unless I am advised otherwise. I feel like 2 MD's (both mine and ex's) think he may have a delay, so the evaluation is necessary.

Thoughts?

Who recommended the evaluation?

LEGALLY, you shouldn't take the child for an evaluation without the other parent's permission. If they refuse and you think the child needs an evaluation, you'd have to go back to court to get it. Unfortunately, a court order can take quite a while. I guess if it was recommended by a physician and the physician says it's critical, you might be able to get an expedited or emergency hearing.

Practically, though, that's all very difficult. If it were me, I'd ask the doctor to put the recommendation in writing with a statement that he considers it to be essential for the child's development. I'd then send a copy to ex with a letter saying that since it's essential, you plan to do it and have an appointment with Dr. Y for {date}. The next paragraph would offer that if he is uncomfortable with Dr. Y or wants to discuss the procedure, to give you a call.

In theory, you could be held in contempt, but it is very unlikely.

 

[InfantCustody]

The evaluation was recommeneded by dad's choice of MD (she recommeneded Early Intervention Services through the Federal Program) and by Little IC's primary care MD. He is referring him to a developmental pediatrician/developmental psychologist and a speech pathologist.

Thanks for the advice. I will get it in writing from both docs and put it all in a pretty little letter to ex.

Ex has the "there's not a d*mn thing wrong with my son" syndrome going full force. I'm not saying there IS something wrong, but there are certainly red flags that must not be ignored. He is simply not developing like other children his age. Ex has not attended a single MD appt since the whole CPS issue back in May...it was just a show and he never went to another appointment. Ugh...

 

[mistoffolees]

The evaluation was recommeneded by dad's choice of MD (she recommeneded Early Intervention Services through the Federal Program) and by Little IC's primary care MD. He is referring him to a developmental pediatrician/developmental psychologist and a speech pathologist.

Thanks for the advice. I will get it in writing from both docs and put it all in a pretty little letter to ex.

Ex has the "there's not a d*mn thing wrong with my son" syndrome going full force. I'm not saying there IS something wrong, but there are certainly red flags that must not be ignored. He is simply not developing like other children his age. Ex has not attended a single MD appt since the whole CPS issue back in May...it was just a show and he never went to another appointment. Ugh...

Under that scenario, if you DO have to go to court, it's almost guaranteed that the judge will order an evaluation. It's not like going in for some experimental medical procedure where there are major risks. In fact, you might even consider having your attorney draft the cover letter explaining that in his experience with the judge that the judge will almost certainly order it - and that you'll be asking for ex to reimburse your legal fees if it has to go to court.

 

[LdiJ]

The evaluation was recommeneded by dad's choice of MD (she recommeneded Early Intervention Services through the Federal Program) and by Little IC's primary care MD. He is referring him to a developmental pediatrician/developmental psychologist and a speech pathologist.

Thanks for the advice. I will get it in writing from both docs and put it all in a pretty little letter to ex.

Ex has the "there's not a d*mn thing wrong with my son" syndrome going full force. I'm not saying there IS something wrong, but there are certainly red flags that must not be ignored. He is simply not developing like other children his age. Ex has not attended a single MD appt since the whole CPS issue back in May...it was just a show and he never went to another appointment. Ugh...

I kind of disagree with Misto on this one a little. I agree that its pretty unlikely that you will be held in contempt, and think that his advice to get the letters and present them to dad is good, but I am thinking that this isn't one of those "medical decisions" that requires an agreement.

With joint legal custody, either parent is allowed to get the child routine or emergency care while the child is in their physical custody. They do not need permission from the other parent for that.

I would consider this evaluation to be more on the side of "routine", because its not any kind of invasive procedure that will have any lasting physical effect on the child. You aren't putting tubes in his ears, or doing any kind of elective surgery. You are just getting him evaluated.

 

[mistoffolees]

With joint legal custody, either parent is allowed to get the child routine or emergency care while the child is in their physical custody. They do not need permission from the other parent for that.

Where do you get this stuff???

Types of Child Custody | Nolo.com

Legal custody of a child means having the right and the obligation to make decisions about a child's upbringing. A parent with legal custody can make decisions about schooling, religion, and medical care, for example. In many states, courts regularly award joint legal custody, which means that the decision making is shared by both parents.
If you share joint legal custody with the other parent and you exclude him or her from the decision-making process, your ex can take you back to court and ask the judge to enforce the custody agreement. You won't get fined or go to jail, but it will probably be embarrassing and cause more friction between the two of you -- which may harm the children. What's more, if you're represented by an attorney, it's sure to be expensive.

 

[LdiJ]

Where do you get this stuff???

Types of Child Custody | Nolo.com

Where do you get that what you quoted means that parents must get permission from the other parent for either routine or emergency care?

Joint legal custody, as far as I have always seen it defined, is that each parent gets to make the ordinary and routine (or emergency) decisions on their own time, but that the major decisions (decision that impact both parents or impact the child long term) must be made jointly. How is getting a young child evaluated for development issues a "major decision"?

Seriously? How is the act of the evaluation something that impacts both parents or impacts the child long term? The results of the evaluation could have a long term impact, but only if the parents choose to act on those results. Example: If the evaluation recommends surgery to correct a hearing issue (which isn't impossible based on what OP described), then the SURGERY is a major decision that needs to be made jointly.

 

[SESmama]

I have to agree with Misto. Maybe the act of getting an evaluation is not major but the doctors that perform them are specialized and Dad has every right to know and agree. Mine was evaluated and I did inform Dad. He agreed, luckily, but has refused to k ow anything about Little Dude's therapy, progress, etc.

Evaluations, simply because of their ramifications, constitute a major decision. This is also NOT a routine appointment nor is it an emergency.

 

[InfantCustody]

Thank you for all of your feedback. I am sending him the letter and going ahead with the evaluation. If he wants to take me to court over it, I will go to court with the MD's and explain that two seperate MD's wanted him evaluated, and have the results of the evaluation with me in court either showing he was cleared (no harm done) or diagnosed as needing further help. I will leave the choice to take legal action on him, since I am just following medical advice. Hopefully following medical advise won't bite me in the butt...

 

[mistoffolees]

Where do you get that what you quoted means that parents must get permission from the other parent for either routine or emergency care?

Joint legal custody, as far as I have always seen it defined, is that each parent gets to make the ordinary and routine (or emergency) decisions on their own time, but that the major decisions (decision that impact both parents or impact the child long term) must be made jointly. How is getting a young child evaluated for development issues a "major decision"?

Seriously? How is the act of the evaluation something that impacts both parents or impacts the child long term? The results of the evaluation could have a long term impact, but only if the parents choose to act on those results. Example: If the evaluation recommends surgery to correct a hearing issue (which isn't impossible based on what OP described), then the SURGERY is a major decision that needs to be made jointly.

Please tell me what part of this you don't understand:
"If you share joint legal custody with the other parent and you exclude him or her from the decision-making process, your ex can take you back to court and ask the judge to enforce the custody agreement. "

 

[mistoffolees]

I have to agree with Misto. Maybe the act of getting an evaluation is not major but the doctors that perform them are specialized and Dad has every right to know and agree. Mine was evaluated and I did inform Dad. He agreed, luckily, but has refused to k ow anything about Little Dude's therapy, progress, etc.

Evaluations, simply because of their ramifications, constitute a major decision. This is also NOT a routine appointment nor is it an emergency.

Actually, if you read the above, you're supposed to involve the other parent in ANY medical decision, not just emergencies or major ones.

 

[Isis1]

you know, because of my expericence, and the THREE different judges i have dealt with, NOT ONE docked dad for having evaluations without my permission. or my knowledge. shoot, to this day, dad still refuses to tell me who diagnosed my 9 yer old as ADHD when he was in his care. and the judge never made him answer my question.

getting an evaluation is not contempt. dad can express his wish by taking you to court to stop you. if he doesn't, he agreed.

 

[mistoffolees]

you know, because of my expericence, and the THREE different judges i have dealt with, NOT ONE docked dad for having evaluations without my permission. or my knowledge. shoot, to this day, dad still refuses to tell me who diagnosed my 9 yer old as ADHD when he was in his care. and the judge never made him answer my question.

getting an evaluation is not contempt. dad can express his wish by taking you to court to stop you. if he doesn't, he agreed.

That's not what the law says about joint legal custody.

Your ex got off easy. That doesn't make it legal.

 

[CJane]

Involving the other parent in a decision is not the same thing as getting the other parent's permission.

I find it funny that often parents are told they cannot act unilaterally in a joint custody situation, but then are told the other parent is in the right for unilaterally refusing whatever it is.

You've involved Dad in the decision. He's against it. You're for it. This is an ongoing issue with the child, because you'd mentioned it before.

It's not ILlegal for you to get the evaluations against Dad's wishes. It's not even against your court order, since 'standard language' apparently does not say that the parents must AGREE to any appointments, etc. He has the right to disagree with the decision to evaluate. That doesn't mean you don't have the right to get it done. At least, not according to YOUR court order.

 

[SESmama]

Actually, if you read the above, you're supposed to involve the other parent in ANY medical decision, not just emergencies or major ones.

Oh, I agree, just pointing out that this is not a simple yearly checkup