What is the difference?

[momof2boys1girl]

What is the name of your state?NY
What is the difference of custody or being able to move. I guess my ? is once you have custody is it easier to move? I am wanting to move, and although I know the legal aide has told me it's better to fight for cutody and get the okay to do so, my parents and the attorney I have retained there say I should just go ahead and move as soon as my oldest gets out of school. (My 2 sons are not my current spouses.) He said I should just move then due to fact I have support, child care, job, and a place to live without the verbal and physical abuse we indure here and wait and see if my spouse tries for custody, he probally will not due to financial reasons. I filed for custody of our girl last week, but mabye I should just cancel that request and just go.

 

[brisgirl825]

What is the name of your state?NY
What is the difference of custody or being able to move. I guess my ? is once you have custody is it easier to move? I am wanting to move, and although I know the legal aide has told me it's better to fight for cutody and get the okay to do so, my parents and the attorney I have retained there say I should just go ahead and move as soon as my oldest gets out of school. (My 2 sons are not my current spouses.) He said I should just move then due to fact I have support, child care, job, and a place to live without the verbal and physical abuse we indure here and wait and see if my spouse tries for custody, he probally will not due to financial reasons. I filed for custody of our girl last week, but mabye I should just cancel that request and just go.

UMMM...is this your husband?

https://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?t=241758

If it is, I don't think that you should be posting here. He's going to be able to read this thread and find out what you're planning.

Sarah

 

[momof2boys1girl]

nope hes not mine lol

 

[momof2boys1girl]

Can anyone tell me about this ??

 

[BelizeBreeze]

are you even divorced yet or is there a divorce pending?

 

[momof2boys1girl]

No no divorce or filed for divorce. Don't have the $$ for that at all.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

Then what did you mean by I filed for custody of our girl last week,

 

[justlilolme]

I believe that in New York State a married couple only needs to be physically separated, not necessarily divorced, for the Family Court to be able to hear a custody dispute.

 

[momof2boys1girl]

yes I think that is the case here in NY. I went to family court and filed for custody. I don't mind us having joint custody, I just want to be able to move. I can't afford to live here and I have no help here.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

I believe that in New York State a married couple only needs to be physically separated, not necessarily divorced, for the Family Court to be able to hear a custody dispute.

And, of course, that's not why I asked the question.

Both federal and state laws require only that an action for custody be filed before Parental Kidnapping charges be filed if the child is removed from the jurisdiction of the court without that court's permission.

 

[justlilolme]

And, of course, that's not why I asked the question.

Both federal and state laws require only that an action for custody be filed before Parental Kidnapping charges be filed if the child is removed from the jurisdiction of the court without that court's permission.

Okay. Sorry. You didn't say that, you simply asked about divorce, and when she said no then you asked what she meant by filed for custody. I must have misunderstood where you were going with your questions.

 

[momof2boys1girl]

So what do you all think??? I"m thinking just to leave in June when the school is out for summer and if I have to come here for court b/c he takes me then I do. Hopefully the judge will see we can have a good life there and since he has no real close family here for him he can easily move there as he did before when I was pregnant and when she was first born.???? Please give advice.

 

[abstract99]

So what do you all think??? I"m thinking just to leave in June when the school is out for summer and if I have to come here for court b/c he takes me then I do. Hopefully the judge will see we can have a good life there and since he has no real close family here for him he can easily move there as he did before when I was pregnant and when she was first born.???? Please give advice.

Are you really expecting to go to court and tell a judge "well, I don't see why he can't come and move to where I am"? HOPEFULLY the judge won't tear you a new a** for filing for custody and then up and leaving the state. I don't know how your state is with marriage and paternity but you might want to look that stuff up. Legally the father might not have any rights right now but it would be really interesting to watch your trial. You know... I think I can have a good life in Hawaii. Small little shack....beach right in my back yard... no worries in the world.... that doesn't mean that I can just run off there with my children.

I filed for custody of our girl last week, but mabye I should just cancel that request and just go. You have to do something. If your state says that he is legally the father because you are married and he signed the BC and you just leave then it is parental kidnapping. You are not legally divorced yet. Check into the BC thing because I think it makes a difference.

 

[abstract99]

he has no real close family here for him

The word REAL in the above quote is what concernes me. What an odd choice of words. I would read it to mean that he DOES have family there but in your opinion, they are not close relatives.

Relatives or not if his job is there then it is good enough for him to stay.

 

[momof2boys1girl]

Hi, what I meant by "real" is that there is some family here of his, his mother, grandparents, aunt's etc...but we have lived here for over a year I have yet to see any. They do not call, he does not know them well, they do not care for us.
What I want is for all my children to have the best life I can give them. Moving here was the worst mistake ever, my spouse moved to me at first but hated it so I agreed to come here. Don't get me wrong I made this bed and I will lie in it if needed. I will make a life here to the best of my ability, but I know that if I can move home our lives will be so much better, happier and fruitful. My parents live there and my 2 older children are very close to them. My father is the only father figure they have had. Their father has only recently started developing a healthy relationship with them and would like them to be closer as well. I am a stay at home mom now, and have no control over any money we have. I was working but my spouse refused to "babysit your kids" my oldest children, only our daughter. And when my 2 oldest were sick it would be horrible for them. He is very verbally mean to them. He says mean things to them to take their self esteem down! And I was told by lawyers and the police here that his threats are not "acting on them" so until he acts I can't do much. So after paying for daycare for them it wasn't worth my income.
I love all 3 of my children and they are my life, and I don't want anyone mistreating them. It's my job to keep them safe and that is what I will do. I just want us all to be happy, and here in NY we will never be.