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shuga24
Guest
i know theremight be more problems but can i work with the first problem first a then b okay it that alright with you
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FJ1200guy
Guest
I'd still like to know what the visitation is now (and I'm sorry, I thought the dad was in a different state, my fault). And what is the custody arrangement. Why has it taken him 6 years to want joint physical... have you been apart for that long? Ah hell, I'm lost, I'll let these guys handle this one. sigh. 
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shuga24
Guest
I was letting him see my child every weekend until we went to mediation and he declined. we never had a court order. Now he is sueing me for joint custody. The reason he waited so long that gets me too. He doesn't feel he has to help me with anything but clothes for her. I never asked him for any money. Everytime i asked him to pay for diapers or medicine i damn near got cussed out so im just as confused about this as everyone else.
shuga24 said:
Okay how long ago did you ask him to buy diapers? You say your child is school age? You need to get some services for her, you using her dislexia as an excuse is not going to get her anywhere in life. If teachers can't handle her in school, then switch schools!
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monnickasmommy
Guest
Mine is ADD, ODD, hyper-vigilant, was severly language delayed, has visual and auditory deficits and is also 6 years old. Why does a child having dyslexia require your "constant attention" and quiting your job?-Posted by nexwife
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My 3 year old is ADHD/ODD-My husband did not have to "quit his job" Have you checked with your Early intervention Program to see if your child can get a IEP ? My son is in Preschool through a IEP and learns alot- He is doing much better with his problems.
as stealth2 says- But most problems are more easily resolved if they're caught early , that is very true-my daughter is through a NICP that they will help me catch her if she falls behind her age level.
The teacher has too many kids to just pay attention to one.
How many are in the class- ?
There is no problem for dad to have joint custody.
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My 3 year old is ADHD/ODD-My husband did not have to "quit his job" Have you checked with your Early intervention Program to see if your child can get a IEP ? My son is in Preschool through a IEP and learns alot- He is doing much better with his problems.
as stealth2 says- But most problems are more easily resolved if they're caught early , that is very true-my daughter is through a NICP that they will help me catch her if she falls behind her age level.
The teacher has too many kids to just pay attention to one.
How many are in the class- ?
There is no problem for dad to have joint custody.
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FJ1200guy
Guest
Okay... from what I've read so far... he most likely won't get joint physical custody in my opinion. I say this because he has waited so long to try... of course I'm still unclear as to how long you've been apart, I'm ASSuming it's been years. Plus he refused mediation. He'll get visitation, though, and you should get child support.
As for the rest, I sure can't assume I know enough to advise you on what to do about the childs learning issues.
As for the rest, I sure can't assume I know enough to advise you on what to do about the childs learning issues.
Whyte Noise
Senior Member
Dyslexia is a learning disability, not a LIVING disability.
My ex is dyslexic, but he has no problems functioning in society. My son is ADHD/ODD, and I don't have to go sit in his classroom everyday to make sure he learns.
There is more going on with your daughter than just dyslexia I believe. You say the teachers can't understand her. Why? Have you had her evaluated for speech classes? If she's not pronouncing words correctly, have you had her hearing checked to see if there is a degree of deafness that hinders her ability to know the "correct" way to pronounce words? If her mind "wanders" as much as you say, have you had her evaluated by a pychiatrist for ADD or something similar?
I know, you said "let me deal with one problem at a time. First A, then B"... but don't you see that A could be connected TO B, and hampered even more by C? You have to treat the entire problem, not just one, or else she's not getting the help she needs.
Each different scenario I've mentioned above (dyslexia, deafness, ADD) has it's own componants. An ADD child processes differently than a normal child, as does a deaf child, or a dyslexic child. Hell, an ADD child processes differently than a dyslexic child, and a deaf child processes differently than an ADD child. Do you see what I'm saying? If you're only paying attention to ONE problem, when there could also be others going on, then you're ignoring the other parts that need help too.... in honesty, it's hindering her more than helping her if you're just worried about the dyslexia and that's it if she has other problems too. ALL the problems have to be fixed together to help her improve.
I'd have her tested for other learning disabilities. Quickly. Just from your post, it does seem to me that she does indeed have other problems as well.
JMHO
My ex is dyslexic, but he has no problems functioning in society. My son is ADHD/ODD, and I don't have to go sit in his classroom everyday to make sure he learns.
There is more going on with your daughter than just dyslexia I believe. You say the teachers can't understand her. Why? Have you had her evaluated for speech classes? If she's not pronouncing words correctly, have you had her hearing checked to see if there is a degree of deafness that hinders her ability to know the "correct" way to pronounce words? If her mind "wanders" as much as you say, have you had her evaluated by a pychiatrist for ADD or something similar?
I know, you said "let me deal with one problem at a time. First A, then B"... but don't you see that A could be connected TO B, and hampered even more by C? You have to treat the entire problem, not just one, or else she's not getting the help she needs.
Each different scenario I've mentioned above (dyslexia, deafness, ADD) has it's own componants. An ADD child processes differently than a normal child, as does a deaf child, or a dyslexic child. Hell, an ADD child processes differently than a dyslexic child, and a deaf child processes differently than an ADD child. Do you see what I'm saying? If you're only paying attention to ONE problem, when there could also be others going on, then you're ignoring the other parts that need help too.... in honesty, it's hindering her more than helping her if you're just worried about the dyslexia and that's it if she has other problems too. ALL the problems have to be fixed together to help her improve.
I'd have her tested for other learning disabilities. Quickly. Just from your post, it does seem to me that she does indeed have other problems as well.
JMHO
Heavens, if a child is ADHD and THAT is not being addressed, for example, that could be the bigger problem in functioning in the classroom. You cannot ignore other needs if they are also there. If your IEP team (do you HAVE an IEP yet?) is not fully assessing all the needs, you are all doing this child a DISERVICE.
Your child needs to learn to function without you in the classroon.
Dyslexia is a challenge, but it is not a consuming issue that requires you to constantly be with them.
Your child needs to learn to function without you in the classroon.
Dyslexia is a challenge, but it is not a consuming issue that requires you to constantly be with them.
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shy57703
Guest
WHY WOULD THEY GIVE HIM CUSTODY
suga most children who have just started school write letters and numbers backwards and also read backwards i did when i was little i have a 5 almost 6 year old and several nieces and nephews almost all of them wrote backwards and read backwards the first 2 years or so. if she is not learning right she probably has a learnig or an attention problem or maybe she is being affected by the situation with you and her father and it may be hard for her to think about anything else. and not to offend you but he has a really good chance of 50/50 custody because in the courts eyes you are not stable you do not have a steady income and you move alot which causes undo stress on your child.and you do not know how to jugle the responsibilities of being a sole provider for your child because if you cant find some way to financially provide for har at the same time you are helping her with school the court find that you are not totally equipt for taking care of her by your self.
suga most children who have just started school write letters and numbers backwards and also read backwards i did when i was little i have a 5 almost 6 year old and several nieces and nephews almost all of them wrote backwards and read backwards the first 2 years or so. if she is not learning right she probably has a learnig or an attention problem or maybe she is being affected by the situation with you and her father and it may be hard for her to think about anything else. and not to offend you but he has a really good chance of 50/50 custody because in the courts eyes you are not stable you do not have a steady income and you move alot which causes undo stress on your child.and you do not know how to jugle the responsibilities of being a sole provider for your child because if you cant find some way to financially provide for har at the same time you are helping her with school the court find that you are not totally equipt for taking care of her by your self.
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monnickasmommy
Guest
You can also go to your county or State Mental Health place and they can elvaluate her- That is how I got a second advice on my ADHD son-
If she is staring off into space it could also be seizures. Have you thought about that-
My first place I would be is in the school when the doors open to have a meeting with the IEP/Speach / Teacher everyone you can drag in there for a conference about your concerns.
If she is staring off into space it could also be seizures. Have you thought about that-
My first place I would be is in the school when the doors open to have a meeting with the IEP/Speach / Teacher everyone you can drag in there for a conference about your concerns.
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shuga24
Guest
SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHAT i SHOULD DO NOW
The father of my child sent a letter to the judge saying all this bad stuff about me. It has nothing to do with my daughter and what is best for her. I never said anything bad about him to my daughter or anyone. He is mad because my daughter wants to call my husband daddy. That is not my fault. I never told her to call him daddy. He says I'm trying to replace him with my husband as her Father. He said I kept her from him because i moved so much. That is a lie. If I didn't tell him where I was and Gave him my phone number, then how can he name every place I moved to evey time I moved. Someone please tell me what to do now in your own Opinion. No matter what.
The father of my child sent a letter to the judge saying all this bad stuff about me. It has nothing to do with my daughter and what is best for her. I never said anything bad about him to my daughter or anyone. He is mad because my daughter wants to call my husband daddy. That is not my fault. I never told her to call him daddy. He says I'm trying to replace him with my husband as her Father. He said I kept her from him because i moved so much. That is a lie. If I didn't tell him where I was and Gave him my phone number, then how can he name every place I moved to evey time I moved. Someone please tell me what to do now in your own Opinion. No matter what.
Whyte Noise
Senior Member
My own opinion...?
OK.
Would YOU be mad if your daughter started calling some other woman "mommy"?
Of course you would, because that's NOT her mommy. Same thing with your daughter calling your husband daddy. He's NOT her daddy, and apparently that really bothers your ex.
Honestly, a judge could see it as you DID keep the child from him by your moving so much. I mean.... what's your ex supposed to do? Follow you all around just so he can be able to see his daughter?
I'm not saying these things to jump on you, or make it sound like I think your ex is Father of The YEar material, because I don't. But you have to look at the legal aspects of your actions. Me telling you I'm so sorry and I feel for you won't help you at all. Might make ya feel better to get a pat on the shoulder, but it damn sure wouldn't do you any good in front of a judge to say, "Oh, but MG on Free Advice told me I was right, and she felt for me".
You've made a lot of bad choices in this. Sorry, but that's the way I see it. Now, you're going to have to work your ass off to try and fix them because it looks like your ex is getting ready to haul you right in front of the judge.
And BTW... your ex writing a letter to the judge is ex parte communications and is illegal. How do you know he wrote this "letter"? Did HE tell you he wrote one?
OK.
Would YOU be mad if your daughter started calling some other woman "mommy"?
Of course you would, because that's NOT her mommy. Same thing with your daughter calling your husband daddy. He's NOT her daddy, and apparently that really bothers your ex.
Honestly, a judge could see it as you DID keep the child from him by your moving so much. I mean.... what's your ex supposed to do? Follow you all around just so he can be able to see his daughter?
I'm not saying these things to jump on you, or make it sound like I think your ex is Father of The YEar material, because I don't. But you have to look at the legal aspects of your actions. Me telling you I'm so sorry and I feel for you won't help you at all. Might make ya feel better to get a pat on the shoulder, but it damn sure wouldn't do you any good in front of a judge to say, "Oh, but MG on Free Advice told me I was right, and she felt for me".
You've made a lot of bad choices in this. Sorry, but that's the way I see it. Now, you're going to have to work your ass off to try and fix them because it looks like your ex is getting ready to haul you right in front of the judge.
And BTW... your ex writing a letter to the judge is ex parte communications and is illegal. How do you know he wrote this "letter"? Did HE tell you he wrote one?
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shuga24
Guest
SORRY BUT YOUR WRONG
I would not be mad if She called his wife not girlfriend but WIFE mommy because actually that would be her step mother. Im not like that. My child called my HUSBAND daddy on her own. Im going about "what "wrong. What are you talking about? I sated at all times. I never deprived him of seeing my daughter. Some of you people seem to have something stuck up your ---.
I would not be mad if She called his wife not girlfriend but WIFE mommy because actually that would be her step mother. Im not like that. My child called my HUSBAND daddy on her own. Im going about "what "wrong. What are you talking about? I sated at all times. I never deprived him of seeing my daughter. Some of you people seem to have something stuck up your ---.
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