What is the name of your state? Tennessee
My wife physically and verbally abuses my 15-year old stepdaughter. The physical abuse is on the light side - no black eyes or broken bones - but the verbal and psychological abuse is as bad as it gets. My wife curses her and calls her an idiot, ****ing c*nt, wh*re, and piece of ****. This is daily, and it leads to them fighting at home or in the car while my wife is driving. They pull hair, bite each other, and scratch each other. To compound my concern, my wife and I have a 18-month old baby who I fear is going to get caught up in all of this. Our baby is constantly subjected to their fighting, yelling, and cursing, as she cries out when she hears them screaming at each other, or when sees them fighting and wrestling. I constantly find myself at home at night simply trying to keep my baby insulated from this. These instances have increased in frequency and intensity since she was born last year. The 15-year old has been pushed to the limit, and it is now common for her to throw things in the house and damage walls/doors. She threw an exercise weight through a door just last week. To make it even worse, my wife is home schooling my stepdaughter, meaning the three of them are at home together an awful lot. Many of their fights stem from the 15-year old's problems with comprehending home-schooling work. Those are the times when my wife makes her repeat aloud (or write 25 times) "I am an idiot" when she does not understand her work or makes a mistake. Often, the 15-year old locks herself into different rooms in the house to protect herself. This prompted my wife to take doorknobs off several doors in our house - she also went as far as removing the 15-year old's bedroom door from it's hinges.
I have taken my wife to counseling, where she does not deny any of the above, but has not made any progress. The counselor is recommending a call to the department of children's services, however the three divorce attorneys I have visited say this is the worst rout to take. I plan to file papers and leave with my baby for her safety very soon. Unfortunately, I have no legal right to take the 15-year old other than her going voluntarily (which she would), however my wife can have the police come get her if she knows where she is. It is an everyday occurrence for my stepdaughter to contemplate aloud suicide or the killing of my wife. She is physically capable of hurting my wife, and the possibility of extreme violence is very real. She constantly tells me she wants to kill her, and that she wants another mother, one who loves her. At this point, both my wife and stepdaughter are a danger to my baby.
I have months of documentation (journals, etc.) backing this up in preparation for an ugly custody battle for my baby - my stepdaughter will testify to the above. I have called a detective agency to see about surveillance or recording of such incidents. From what I gather, it is illegal to record this, but if you have a baby in danger who can not speak for itself, there may be an argument for recording these actions to confirm this danger, thus making an exception for admissibility of secretly recorded evidence in a courtroom. The reason I mention this is because I know for sure if any judge ever heard a recording of this abuse, there would be no question as to my wife's lack of being a fit mother. The real gamble of a court battle is that if I'm not awarded custody, my baby and stepdaughter will continue to grow up in this environment, and my baby will likely be abused in a similar manner when she is older. Also, when my stepdaughter was younger, my wife made it almost impossible for her biological father to visit her. He eventually gave up, but still sends child support.
Unfortunately, at this point, I have no other choice but to go to divorce court, as my wife is not willing to go to a psychiatrist for an examination. Our previous counseling was with a licensed clinical social worker. Maybe I should have my head examined for still being with my wife and having a baby with her, but it is too late to look back now.
Any advice forum?
My wife physically and verbally abuses my 15-year old stepdaughter. The physical abuse is on the light side - no black eyes or broken bones - but the verbal and psychological abuse is as bad as it gets. My wife curses her and calls her an idiot, ****ing c*nt, wh*re, and piece of ****. This is daily, and it leads to them fighting at home or in the car while my wife is driving. They pull hair, bite each other, and scratch each other. To compound my concern, my wife and I have a 18-month old baby who I fear is going to get caught up in all of this. Our baby is constantly subjected to their fighting, yelling, and cursing, as she cries out when she hears them screaming at each other, or when sees them fighting and wrestling. I constantly find myself at home at night simply trying to keep my baby insulated from this. These instances have increased in frequency and intensity since she was born last year. The 15-year old has been pushed to the limit, and it is now common for her to throw things in the house and damage walls/doors. She threw an exercise weight through a door just last week. To make it even worse, my wife is home schooling my stepdaughter, meaning the three of them are at home together an awful lot. Many of their fights stem from the 15-year old's problems with comprehending home-schooling work. Those are the times when my wife makes her repeat aloud (or write 25 times) "I am an idiot" when she does not understand her work or makes a mistake. Often, the 15-year old locks herself into different rooms in the house to protect herself. This prompted my wife to take doorknobs off several doors in our house - she also went as far as removing the 15-year old's bedroom door from it's hinges.
I have taken my wife to counseling, where she does not deny any of the above, but has not made any progress. The counselor is recommending a call to the department of children's services, however the three divorce attorneys I have visited say this is the worst rout to take. I plan to file papers and leave with my baby for her safety very soon. Unfortunately, I have no legal right to take the 15-year old other than her going voluntarily (which she would), however my wife can have the police come get her if she knows where she is. It is an everyday occurrence for my stepdaughter to contemplate aloud suicide or the killing of my wife. She is physically capable of hurting my wife, and the possibility of extreme violence is very real. She constantly tells me she wants to kill her, and that she wants another mother, one who loves her. At this point, both my wife and stepdaughter are a danger to my baby.
I have months of documentation (journals, etc.) backing this up in preparation for an ugly custody battle for my baby - my stepdaughter will testify to the above. I have called a detective agency to see about surveillance or recording of such incidents. From what I gather, it is illegal to record this, but if you have a baby in danger who can not speak for itself, there may be an argument for recording these actions to confirm this danger, thus making an exception for admissibility of secretly recorded evidence in a courtroom. The reason I mention this is because I know for sure if any judge ever heard a recording of this abuse, there would be no question as to my wife's lack of being a fit mother. The real gamble of a court battle is that if I'm not awarded custody, my baby and stepdaughter will continue to grow up in this environment, and my baby will likely be abused in a similar manner when she is older. Also, when my stepdaughter was younger, my wife made it almost impossible for her biological father to visit her. He eventually gave up, but still sends child support.
Unfortunately, at this point, I have no other choice but to go to divorce court, as my wife is not willing to go to a psychiatrist for an examination. Our previous counseling was with a licensed clinical social worker. Maybe I should have my head examined for still being with my wife and having a baby with her, but it is too late to look back now.
Any advice forum?
Last edited:
