X took my son to a bar

[CJane]

I'm going to have to disagree with everyone. I don't know about TN, but our AL judges would most certainly find that leaving an 8 year old waiting in a vehicle outside a bar, even with an 18 yo with him, is inappropriate at best.

None of us said it was appropriate. We said that mom hasn't demonstrated anything that would 1) Prove the child was endangered (nevermind that a pattern of endangerment would have to be proven) or 2) make a judge do more than raise an eyebrow.

Here's what I can see happening in family court:

Judge: *big sigh* So, we're here today to hear the case of Blah vs Blah Blah. Is it true, Mr Blah, that you left your son in the care of an 18 year old, in a vehicle, while meeting up with a friend inside a public drinking establishment?

Dad: Yessir. I was inside for less than 20 minutes, I was just picking my girlfriend up from work.

Judge: Let's not let that happen again, ok?

Dad: Yessir.

Judge: Let's see... it also says here that your son saw you in bed with a woman on this same night, as there's no door on your bedroom. Is this true?

Dad: Yessir, though we were both in pajamas and under the covers, and I've since replaced the door.

Judge: Let's not let that happen again, ok?

Dad: Yessir.

 

[langley]

I agree with you mbarr. Did your son even know the 18 year old watching him?
How can you say teach the boy manners when she said there wasn't even a door to knock on.

 

[bononos]

I'm going to have to disagree with everyone. I don't know about TN, but our AL judges would most certainly find that leaving an 8 year old waiting in a vehicle outside a bar, even with an 18 yo with him, is inappropriate at best.

Well, if OP would ever answer my question so we don't ASSUME something, it might be helpful.
Remember...Gameland was next door.

 

[hereintexas]

to divorcebound

Good luck to you. It's unfortunate to lay the blame on the 8 year old for this issue. You're right--where have the morals gone? Doesn't sound like you're putting a spin on it as much as those who want to make excuses for their own actions.

 

[divorcebound]

No, the 18 year old was not driving. The roomate in which was in the bar also was driving. And correct, how could I prove that. No my son did not know the 18 year old, that was the first time he had ever saw him.

 

[bononos]

No, the 18 year old was not driving. The roomate in which was in the bar also was driving. And correct, how could I prove that. No my son did not know the 18 year old, that was the first time he had ever saw him.

Was the roomate drinking and how many did he drink?

 

[CJane]

Was the roomate drinking and how many did he drink?

Not only is that impossible for mom to know unless she was there watching the roommate consume the alcohol, it's completely irrelevant if there was no DUI issued.

Mom is ASSUMING that dad was drinking. She's ASSUMING that he picked up some sleazy ho in the bar. She's ASSUMING that her son is not exaggerating AT ALL (and if not, he's the only 8 year old on the planet who doesn't exaggerate). She's ASSUMING that the boy seeing dad 'on top of' the woman means that dad was having sex with her right in front of the kid. For all we know, it was 1am and the kid was supposed to be in bed. (and one can knock even when there's no door). Mom is also ASSUMING that dad was aware that the kid was 'watching'.

Mom wasn't there. She has no idea what happened except for an 8 year old's version of it. And frankly, that's not a hell of a lot.

 

[thetsgtswife]

Ok we are talking about what a child has relayed to mom and in my personal experience what a child relates from one parent to the other as what really happened can be much different that what the real story is.

Im not saying that the child is lying but kids get things mixed up only becuase they arent really tuned in to communication skills and can leave out important details of the story that help things to make sense. This is why its always wise to not involve the kids when we have things to discuss.

Asking the child if the 18 year old was drinking or HOW much did daddy drink is not going to get you an accurate answer. For example: if you ask my kids how much money I have they will almost always tell you "lots becuase she has tons of those checks in her purse" becuase they dont understand that just becuase mom has checks she doesnt always have money in the bank to cover them.

Asking a child how much they had to drink or how long he actully sat in a vechile outside waiting for dad is not a reliable source of information.

I mean really, kids dont have the most reliable sense of time either. My 5 year old comes home from school and tells me she hasnt seen me in days when she actually has only been in school for a few hours.

So ask away, but dont rely on the answers you get from this child and lets not forget the damage you are doing by putting this child in the middle.



tsgtswife

 

[thetsgtswife]

Not only is that impossible for mom to know unless she was there watching the roommate consume the alcohol, it's completely irrelevant if there was no DUI issued.

Mom is ASSUMING that dad was drinking. She's ASSUMING that he picked up some sleazy ho in the bar. She's ASSUMING that her son is not exaggerating AT ALL (and if not, he's the only 8 year old on the planet who doesn't exaggerate). She's ASSUMING that the boy seeing dad 'on top of' the woman means that dad was having sex with her right in front of the kid. For all we know, it was 1am and the kid was supposed to be in bed. (and one can knock even when there's no door). Mom is also ASSUMING that dad was aware that the kid was 'watching'.

Mom wasn't there. She has no idea what happened except for an 8 year old's version of it. And frankly, that's not a hell of a lot.

Ok so this is what I was trying to say but you did it much better.

TSGTSWIFE

 

[bononos]

Not only is that impossible for mom to know unless she was there watching the roommate consume the alcohol, it's completely irrelevant if there was no DUI issued.

Mom is ASSUMING that dad was drinking. She's ASSUMING that he picked up some sleazy ho in the bar. She's ASSUMING that her son is not exaggerating AT ALL (and if not, he's the only 8 year old on the planet who doesn't exaggerate). She's ASSUMING that the boy seeing dad 'on top of' the woman means that dad was having sex with her right in front of the kid. For all we know, it was 1am and the kid was supposed to be in bed. (and one can knock even when there's no door). Mom is also ASSUMING that dad was aware that the kid was 'watching'.

Mom wasn't there. She has no idea what happened except for an 8 year old's version of it. And frankly, that's not a hell of a lot.

EXACTLY!
Kind of the point of my questions.
OP cannot prove any of this and also, I'm guessing, is probing her son when he comes home.
I don't think her son just offered this full detailed account.
Have you approached Dad about this?
That is about your only solution. He can take heed and try to rectify these situations or keep doing what he wants to do.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

........Maybe there was a snake loose and daddy was protecting the poor girl

 

[westcoastdaddy]

butt out

what can you do about it? simple-you can mind your own business. who dad sleeps with is none of your concern.

 

[Zephyr]

.

I'm just sorry that this original post was posted by mom and not the GF after mom confronted her, so that Kelly could inform GF that she has no legal rights to the child.

she must just have a pretype list of responses, then just copy's and pastes as needed

 

[snostar]

she must just have a pretype list of responses, then just copy's and pastes as needed

I wish she would run the list through a spelling, grammar and punctuation check! <hint, hint KELLY>

 

[Mbarr]

None of us said it was appropriate. We said that mom hasn't demonstrated anything that would 1) Prove the child was endangered (nevermind that a pattern of endangerment would have to be proven) or 2) make a judge do more than raise an eyebrow.

Here's what I can see happening in family court:

Judge: *big sigh* So, we're here today to hear the case of Blah vs Blah Blah. Is it true, Mr Blah, that you left your son in the care of an 18 year old, in a vehicle, while meeting up with a friend inside a public drinking establishment?

Dad: Yessir. I was inside for less than 20 minutes, I was just picking my girlfriend up from work.

Judge: Let's not let that happen again, ok?

Dad: Yessir.

Judge: Let's see... it also says here that your son saw you in bed with a woman on this same night, as there's no door on your bedroom. Is this true?

Dad: Yessir, though we were both in pajamas and under the covers, and I've since replaced the door.

Judge: Let's not let that happen again, ok?

Dad: Yessir.

Guess it depends on the Judge. If requested by either party, our judges fairly routinely order no consumption of alcohol during visitation/custodial periods. And they would definitely frown upon leaving the child in a vehicle in the care of a person the child doesn't know while dad was in a bar for more than a moment. I would expect more than just a "don't let it happen again." I would expect an order to be entered specifically prohibiting such an occurrence in the future, and a dressing down for dad. Further, if either party expects it, the judges in my area also routinely restrict cohabitation with the opposite sex (unless related by blood or marriage) during visitation and custodial periods.