Family trip

[stepmom4ever]

YOU NEVER ANSWERED IF DAD WAS GOING TO GO. Ld has answered several times. But you have not answered that.

You don't have to let her go but a judge COULD ding you and hold it against you.

dad is not going the grandparents want to just take my daughter and his other son with them...

 

[Proserpina]

dad is not going the grandparents want to just take my daughter and his other son with them...

Do you intend to facilitate the relationship between your daughter and her father, and her half-brother?

There's a reason I'm asking, S4E.

 

[stepmom4ever]

Do you intend to facilitate the relationship between your daughter and her father, and her half-brother?

There's a reason I'm asking, S4E.

I need to be honest...we are going through a rough seperation and i would rather not have anything to do with my husband or his family , nor his son from another women...I'd rather it be just my daughter and I....but yes, he see his daughter, infact more than he see his son from the other women....as far as GP's they see my daughter when they come into town

 

[Proserpina]

I need to be honest...we are going through a rough seperation and i would rather not have anything to do with my husband or his family , nor his son from another women...I'd rather it be just my daughter and I....but yes, he see his daughter, infact more than he see his son from the other women....as far as GP's they see my daughter when they come into town

Well, thank you for you candidness.

A rough separation is rough on everyone involved (you know this). The reason I asked is that this is when you can directly influence how easy or difficult co-parenting with him is going to be. He's pretty much responsible only for his actions - not yours. If you can - and believe me you're not the only one who's gone through something like this! - find it in yourself to do just about whatever it takes to be the "good guy" in this, your daughter will thank you, Dad may (eventually) wise up enough to thank you and..maybe more importantly, you'll know that you've done everything in your power to make sure your little girl grows up into a well-adjusted, confident, secure young lady.

I know it's hard. Please believe me - I do know. But you have to try as much as you can to put your hurt and your heartbreak to one side and focus on what's best for this little girl.

And what's best for her is her family - all of you.

 

[Just Blue]

I need to be honest...we are going through a rough seperation and i would rather not have anything to do with my husband or his family , nor his son from another women...I'd rather it be just my daughter and I....but yes, he see his daughter, infact more than he see his son from the other women....as far as GP's they see my daughter when they come into town

Wow. You are such a surprise.

 

[stepmom4ever]

Well, thank you for you candidness.

A rough separation is rough on everyone involved (you know this). The reason I asked is that this is when you can directly influence how easy or difficult co-parenting with him is going to be. He's pretty much responsible only for his actions - not yours. If you can - and believe me you're not the only one who's gone through something like this! - find it in yourself to do just about whatever it takes to be the "good guy" in this, your daughter will thank you, Dad may (eventually) wise up enough to thank you and..maybe more importantly, you'll know that you've done everything in your power to make sure your little girl grows up into a well-adjusted, confident, secure young lady.

I know it's hard. Please believe me - I do know. But you have to try as much as you can to put your hurt and your heartbreak to one side and focus on what's best for this little girl.

And what's best for her is her family - all of you.

If I haven't , I will soon see how his first child's mother was feeling when I did all that horrible stuff to her just to enforce my entitlement.....now I'm the one who dont want to be bother...it's funny how tables change eventually...which I was warned not only by you guys but his first child's mother as well....he almost hardly get that child nor still pay support but...I will be looking for to no support either....not listening , leaves a soft behind because he did to me what he did to her..thank you guys!

 

[LdiJ]

Well, thank you for you candidness.

A rough separation is rough on everyone involved (you know this). The reason I asked is that this is when you can directly influence how easy or difficult co-parenting with him is going to be. He's pretty much responsible only for his actions - not yours. If you can - and believe me you're not the only one who's gone through something like this! - find it in yourself to do just about whatever it takes to be the "good guy" in this, your daughter will thank you, Dad may (eventually) wise up enough to thank you and..maybe more importantly, you'll know that you've done everything in your power to make sure your little girl grows up into a well-adjusted, confident, secure young lady.

I know it's hard. Please believe me - I do know. But you have to try as much as you can to put your hurt and your heartbreak to one side and focus on what's best for this little girl.

And what's best for her is her family - all of you.

This is excellent advice.

On top of this, you now know what the other mom went through. You now should have a pretty good clue how she felt and what she was dealing with.

You can pay that back. You can help friends of yours not make the same mistakes that you made. You can also learn from this and make better choices in your own future.

 

[Proserpina]

If I haven't , I will soon see how his first child's mother was feeling when I did all that horrible stuff to her just to enforce my entitlement.....now I'm the one who dont want to be bother...it's funny how tables change eventually...which I was warned not only by you guys but his first child's mother as well....he almost hardly get that child nor still pay support but...I will be looking for to no support either....not listening , leaves a soft behind because he did to me what he did to her..thank you guys!

Learn from it.

You can't change it, but you can learn from it. Now you also get the chance to show him that you too can show the same grace she showed you - remember that one email? She was incredibly graceful and kept her dignity and at the same time got her point across....and now you're in (unfortunately) the same situation, this is your chance to take that higher road and prove to him that YOUR priority isn't you, but your daughter. Maybe eventually he'll learn from both of you.

Nobody deserves what you're going through but at least you DO know now what his ex went through and you can learn from it.

 

[Ohiogal]

If I haven't , I will soon see how his first child's mother was feeling when I did all that horrible stuff to her just to enforce my entitlement.....now I'm the one who dont want to be bother...it's funny how tables change eventually...which I was warned not only by you guys but his first child's mother as well....he almost hardly get that child nor still pay support but...I will be looking for to no support either....not listening , leaves a soft behind because he did to me what he did to her..thank you guys!

Actually you won't understand how Kim felt until dad gets another girlfriend who believes that you are trash that deserves to be scraped from the bottom of her shoe and left on the road. When you are treated as you treated Kim, you will know how she felt. When dad gets another girlfriend who interferes to the extent that you interfered (be prepared if you ever get pregnant having that woman harrass the heck out of you in the hospital) then you will understand.

That being said, my advice still holds. you COULD be dinged. You COULD be sanctioned by a judge. You COULD be reprimanded for your behavior.

 

[Ohiogal]

This is excellent advice.

On top of this, you now know what the other mom went through. You now should have a pretty good clue how she felt and what she was dealing with.

You can pay that back. You can help friends of yours not make the same mistakes that you made. You can also learn from this and make better choices in your own future.

The bolded is wrong. She can NEVER pay it back for the hell she put Kim through. She could however correct her behavior and become the better person. She could be open and willing to coparent and willing to admit mistakes. i don't see that happening though.

 

[Ohiogal]

dad is not going the grandparents want to just take my daughter and his other son with them...

Quite frankly you already knew what you were going to do before you posted, didn't you? You just wanted verification or someone to agree with you, didn't you? Well you got it in LD.

I give a standing ovation to the fact that you were going to say no from step one and just wanted someone to back you up.

Again, the JUDGE COULD still ding you for it. COULD.

 

[Proserpina]

Actually you won't understand how Kim felt until dad gets another girlfriend who believes that you are trash that deserves to be scraped from the bottom of her shoe and left on the road. When you are treated as you treated Kim, you will know how she felt. When dad gets another girlfriend who interferes to the extent that you interfered (be prepared if you ever get pregnant having that woman harrass the heck out of you in the hospital) then you will understand.

That being said, my advice still holds. you COULD be dinged. You COULD be sanctioned by a judge. You COULD be reprimanded for your behavior.

Very, very true and on all counts.

Still, I have hope. Y'know?

(what flavour ice-cream btw? Honestly, I think this thread has run its course...I'm all for serving ice-cream )

 

[CJane]

Again, the JUDGE COULD still ding you for it. COULD.

Because I'm just a commercial construction hardware buyer, I'm sure I'm missing something here.

Can you please explain to me and all of the other non-attorneys here (because I know this site is visited by WAY more non-attorney types than attorney-types and we're ALL sadly lacking in legal knowledge) why a judge would "ding" S4E for not allowing her child to go to Florida with the grandparents that have only seen her 4 or so times in her LIFE?

 

[Proserpina]

Because I'm just a commercial construction hardware buyer, I'm sure I'm missing something here.

Can you please explain to me and all of the other non-attorneys here (because I know this site is visited by WAY more non-attorney types than attorney-types and we're ALL sadly lacking in legal knowledge) why a judge would "ding" S4E for not allowing her child to go to Florida with the grandparents that have only seen her 4 or so times in her LIFE?

Because DAD wants it to happen - and Mom is basically refusing DAD's wishes, not those of the grandparents. Not directly, y'know?

 

[CJane]

Because DAD wants it to happen - and Mom is basically refusing DAD's wishes, not those of the grandparents. Not directly, y'know?

That's BS. I'd LOVE to see the case law to back up a claim that Mom would get "dinged" for not allowing kiddo to go on a trip with the grandparents who have NO relationship with the child at all. (Kiddo is 16 months and Gparents have seen her ONCE in the past 12 months).

If kiddo was currently in Dad's physical custody and he wanted to send her w/the grandparents, there'd be nothing Mom could do and a judge would not ding HIM for not complying with HER wishes.