grandparents rights?

[Ninariki]

grandparents rights? edit for more questions.

Everyone mentioned below is in the state of WI

I am a mother of two children. My mother was/is verbally abusive to me and I believe has Narcissistic personality disorder but is un-diagnosed. She is a very cruel person, yet hides it to the general public by being charming...etc. I would really like to protect my two kids from this very toxic person by going 'no contact' with her.

My fears are that when I do, she will attempt to get 'grandparent's rights' and force me to allow visits. If you need more information, please let me know.

Thanks in advance.

EDIT to add:
I will also add that I am wondering what kind of information I would need to get a restraining order? If I understand it correctly, I need proof of harassment to do so.

I would also like to know what to do should she decide to call CPS on us. They can look all they want, but they won't find anything here. Is that something I need to keep track of, or does CPS do that?

 

[sandyclaus]

Everyone mentioned below is in the state of WI

I am a mother of two children. My mother was/is verbally abusive to me and I believe has Narcissistic personality disorder but is un-diagnosed. She is a very cruel person, yet hides it to the general public by being charming...etc. I would really like to protect my two kids from this very toxic person by going 'no contact' with her.

My fears are that when I do, she will attempt to get 'grandparent's rights' and force me to allow visits. If you need more information, please let me know.

Thanks in advance.

There are specific Wisconsin statutes that address when grandparents can assert their right to visitation with a grandchild. The 3 specific grounds for granting such visitation rights are:

- When a grandparent has maintained a relationship with a child that is similar to a parent-child relationship
- When both natural parents are deceased
- When a child has been adopted by a stepparent or other relative, "certain persons" have the right to request visitation. Those persons are relatives who have maintained a relationship similar to a parent-child relationship, a definition that includes some grandparents but excludes others.

Assuming that both parents are still alive, and the child hasn't been adopted, that takes out two of the potential reasons for granting grandparent visitation. Have your children ever maintained a close relationship with the grandmother in question? If not, then that's strike three.

Without the other factors, the courts usually defer to the parents' judgment as it pertains to whom they choose to have their children maintain relationships with. If you feel that your children's best interests aren't being served by allowing visitation with your mother, it's doubtful that the court would be willing to go against you.

 

[Ninariki]

There are specific Wisconsin statutes that address when grandparents can assert their right to visitation with a grandchild. The 3 specific grounds for granting such visitation rights are:

- When a grandparent has maintained a relationship with a child that is similar to a parent-child relationship
- When both natural parents are deceased
- When a child has been adopted by a stepparent or other relative, "certain persons" have the right to request visitation. Those persons are relatives who have maintained a relationship similar to a parent-child relationship, a definition that includes some grandparents but excludes others.

Assuming that both parents are still alive, and the child hasn't been adopted, that takes out two of the potential reasons for granting grandparent visitation. Have your children ever maintained a close relationship with the grandmother in question? If not, then that's strike three.

Without the other factors, the courts usually defer to the parents' judgment as it pertains to whom they choose to have their children maintain relationships with. If you feel that your children's best interests aren't being served by allowing visitation with your mother, it's doubtful that the court would be willing to go against you.

Yes, both of us (parents) are still alive and still married and are in a healthy relationship. No, the kids are not adopted. No, she has not had that type of relationship with them, she sees them maybe once every 6 weeks, and when we were living closer, it was maybe once a week. However, couldn't she just lie about that? (my mother is a special kind of crazy...) And if she does, what can I do? I want to be prepared for the worst, she might not do anything, but it would not surprise me if she did this.

 

[Proserpina]

Yes, both of us (parents) are still alive and still married and are in a healthy relationship. No, the kids are not adopted. No, she has not had that type of relationship with them, she sees them maybe once every 6 weeks, and when we were living closer, it was maybe once a week. However, couldn't she just lie about that? (my mother is a special kind of crazy...) And if she does, what can I do? I want to be prepared for the worst, she might not do anything, but it would not surprise me if she did this.

If you're served, do NOT agree to anything in mediation. Make the grandparent/s prove their case in front of the judge. Be strong, and be determined.

Honestly, with an intact marriage and seeing the kids very infrequently (and yep, I'd call every 6 weeks very infrequently) they shouldn't be able to win a GPV suit. Grandma obviously doesn't realize that suing your own child for visitation with the grandchild is an incredibly hostile act.

Take a look at other GPV threads on this forum - particularly in your State. Read Troxel (the landmark case). Come back if you have any other questions. While most of us appreciate the idea that "a child can't have too much love", there's a very strong feeling that while this is all well and good it should NEVER be over the wishes of the actual parents.

 

[Ninariki]

If you're served, do NOT agree to anything in mediation. Make the grandparent/s prove their case in front of the judge. Be strong, and be determined.

Honestly, with an intact marriage and seeing the kids very infrequently (and yep, I'd call every 6 weeks very infrequently) they shouldn't be able to win a GPV suit. Grandma obviously doesn't realize that suing your own child for visitation with the grandchild is an incredibly hostile act.

Take a look at other GPV threads on this forum - particularly in your State. Read Troxel (the landmark case). Come back if you have any other questions. While most of us appreciate the idea that "a child can't have too much love", there's a very strong feeling that while this is all well and good it should NEVER be over the wishes of the actual parents.

Good to go

And my mother...like I said, a special kind of crazy...

In this case, the issue is lack of love from this particular woman. The kids can only benefit from having no contact with her. She's already chosen a favorite and my darling 3 year old little girl was able to notice this.

 

[ecmst12]

Does she also have an unlimited supply of cash and nothing better to do with it? The lawyer she would need to bring a GPV suit would be very expensive.

 

[Ninariki]

Does she also have an unlimited supply of cash and nothing better to do with it? The lawyer she would need to bring a GPV suit would be very expensive.

hmmm... point taken. I really don't think she would be dumb enough to do this particular thing anyhow, but personality wise...yes. I can see her making anonymous calls to CPS and such.

 

[Ninariki]

Take a look at other GPV threads on this forum - particularly in your State. Read Troxel (the landmark case). Come back if you have any other questions. While most of us appreciate the idea that "a child can't have too much love", there's a very strong feeling that while this is all well and good it should NEVER be over the wishes of the actual parents.

I'n not sure if I'm just not doing the search correctly, but I can't find any thread mentioning troxel ><

 

[ecmst12]

Search on google, not this site.

 

[Ninariki]

Search on google, not this site.

*facepalm* lol, thanks

 

[single317dad]

Helpful hint:

If you want to use Google to search only a particular site, type the following in the google.com search box:

thingyouwanttosearchfor site:siteyouwanttosearch

e.g., Troxel site:freeadvice.com

This has limitations. It will only work on sites that Google indexes. So, if Google didn't index secretsite.com, then searching secretsite.com wouldn't return any results. Also, many sites have a more powerful site-specific search engine, which will return more relevant results, but Google might find results that the site's search didn't return for whatever reason.

Google is an incredibly powerful search engine and general interface that has tons of functions. It's contains an advanced calculator, dictionary, thesaurus, unit and currency conversion, flight checking system, package tracking, sports scores, stock quotes, and more other features than you can shake a stick at. See http://www.google.com/help/features.html

Google Scholar is particularly useful for finding legal opinions and medical/legal journals.

 

[ecmst12]

But she does not WANT to search only this site. She wants to search the whole web to find info on the case.

 

[Ninariki]

thanks and sorry for posting in the wrong category. >< I did find the case and read everything. I can't find any grandparents rights posts for Wisconsin. I did read quite a few threads though and feel a little better if we should need to cross this road.

 

[ecmst12]

This thread is fine. Don't post duplicates.

 

[Proserpina]

thanks and sorry for posting in the wrong category. >< I did find the case and read everything. I can't find any grandparents rights posts for Wisconsin. I did read quite a few threads though and feel a little better if we should need to cross this road.

Here you go!

http://docs.legis.wisconsin.gov/statutes/statutes/767/V/43