Indiana Parenting Guidelines - Transportation to sporting events

[jonben123]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? IN

I am the CP, my daughter visits with her mother every other weekend approximately 1 hour from our home. My daughter will be starting volleyball in a few days and of course games are on Saturdays.

What can I do if she fails to transport her to the games on her visitation weekends?

 

[Zigner]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? IN

I am the CP, my daughter visits with her mother every other weekend approximately 1 hour from our home. My daughter will be starting volleyball in a few days and of course games are on Saturdays.

What can I do if she fails to transport her to the games on her visitation weekends?

Why do you think you should be able to force mom to transport kiddo to a volleyball game on her time?

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? IN

I am the CP, my daughter visits with her mother every other weekend approximately 1 hour from our home. My daughter will be starting volleyball in a few days and of course games are on Saturdays.

What can I do if she fails to transport her to the games on her visitation weekends?

Did you get mom's approval to enroll your child in an activity that interferes with mom's parenting time? The guidelines encourage non-custodial parents to cooperate as much as is reasonable with a teenager's activities but also talk about the need for parents to agree to those activities in advance.

If you didn't get mom's agreement, then bad on you. You might want to discuss with the child's coach that you cannot guarantee her presence every other weekend, the coach probably has other children on the team with similar schedules.

 

[jonben123]

Why do you think you should be able to force mom to transport kiddo to a volleyball game on her time?

Because the daughter wants to play and should be up to her to ensure she makes it to the games. Unfortunately my 8 year old is unable to drive herself. The time is about the best interest of the child and not the adult, correct?

 

[LdiJ]

Because the daughter wants to play and should be up to her to ensure she makes it to the games. Unfortunately my 8 year old is unable to drive herself. The time is about the best interest of the child and not the adult, correct?

It is also in the best interest of the child to have uninterrupted, quality time with both parents. Sorry dad, but you are in the wrong on this one.

 

[Zigner]

Because the daughter wants to play and should be up to her to ensure she makes it to the games. Unfortunately my 8 year old is unable to drive herself. The time is about the best interest of the child and not the adult, correct?

I'll wait for your response to LdiJ's post.

 

[jonben123]

Mom is very confrontational and will likely do things simply out of spite. Any sort of organized sport will have games on weekends, quite often. Why does the child not get to fully participate in those activities because mom deems it a waste of her time? Mom would never approve due to the timing. Not because she is unable to attend, but because she doesn't want to drive or wake up early.

 

[jonben123]

The child will never get to participate in those events? Being able to see your child do something they enjoy is quality time, in my opinion. Why take that away so mom can selfishly have the time all to herself?

 

[Zigner]

Mom is very confrontational and will likely do things simply out of spite. Any sort of organized sport will have games on weekends, quite often. Why does the child not get to fully participate in those activities because mom deems it a waste of her time? Mom would never approve due to the timing. Not because she is unable to attend, but because she doesn't want to drive or wake up early.

Ok, then you are definitely in the wrong. You do not get to schedule activities for the child on mom's time, expecting that you'll be able to force her to be involved. In fact, you are the one who is coming across as spiteful in this thread.

 

[Zigner]

The child will never get to participate in those events? Being able to see your child do something they enjoy is quality time, in my opinion. Why take that away so mom can selfishly have the time all to herself?

In fact, I can see the spite oozing out of my monitor.

 

[jonben123]

In fact, I can see the spite oozing out of my monitor.

I want my child to enjoy sports as she has expressed interest in doing. The teams schedule the practices which happen to be on weekends, after we signed her up, unknowing when they would be. How do I allow her to play sports, which will likely have practices/games/obligations during moms time? Is the child simply to never be fully involved?

 

[LdiJ]

Mom is very confrontational and will likely do things simply out of spite. Any sort of organized sport will have games on weekends, quite often. Why does the child not get to fully participate in those activities because mom deems it a waste of her time? Mom would never approve due to the timing. Not because she is unable to attend, but because she doesn't want to drive or wake up early.

I am not a spiteful person and I would never have agreed to an activity for an 8 year old that interfered with my parenting time. The one hour distance between the two of you means at least 2 hours of travel, plus the game and pre and post game, so basically taking up pretty much the whole day Saturday, which is the only interrupted time that mom gets with the child as Friday and Sundays are only partial days.

However, bottom line is that you needed mom's agreement to the activity and clearly you did not get that agreement ahead of time. There is nothing you can do to force mom to take the child to the activity on her time.

If she were a talented teenager who had been participating in an activity before the divorce, and that activity was going to lead to a potential college scholarship then in that case you might get a judge to order that the child gets to participate in the activity after the divorce, but we are not talking about a teenager we are talking about an 8 year old.

 

[Zigner]

I want my child to enjoy sports as she has expressed interest in doing. The teams schedule the practices which happen to be on weekends, after we signed her up, unknowing when they would be. How do I allow her to play sports, which will likely have practices/games/obligations during moms time? Is the child simply to never be fully involved?

You will need to learn to work with mom on coparenting the child. You could also go back to court and get it ordered, but c'mon. The court doesn't want to babysit minutia.

As you've been told more than once, speak to the coach about this matter. I'm sure you're child isn't the first one to be stuck in this situation.

 

[jonben123]

I am not a spiteful person and I would never have agreed to an activity for an 8 year old that interfered with my parenting time. The one hour distance between the two of you means at least 2 hours of travel, plus the game and pre and post game, so basically taking up pretty much the whole day Saturday, which is the only interrupted time that mom gets with the child as Friday and Sundays are only partial days.

However, bottom line is that you needed mom's agreement to the activity and clearly you did not get that agreement ahead of time. There is nothing you can do to force mom to take the child to the activity on her time.

If she were a talented teenager who had been participating in an activity before the divorce, and that activity was going to lead to a potential college scholarship then in that case you might get a judge to order that the child gets to participate in the activity after the divorce, but we are not talking about a teenager we are talking about an 8 year old.

I understand your stance, however, I guess the line for me is very blurred in terms of "my parenting time" and the best interest of the child. Mom would never agree, for a laundry list of reasons, depending on her mood. She will never have the chance to be a talented athlete, if she so desires, as she can only participate half the time. She has no control over her transportation.

Moms time, in my opinion, needs to be spent doing things not only she wants to do but things the child wants to do. My child wants to go to the park, well it is my parenting time so we are going to watch tv. I guess that seems selfish in a sense to me.

 

[Zigner]

Moms time, in my opinion, needs to be spent doing ...

Stop right there.

Your opinion means naught.