Avoiding communications

[escape2paradise]

What is the name of your state? WA

Some of you know the situation with my X. So far the X has not gotten a new attorney, thus he is either going to do this Pro Se or ignore the rest of the litigation process. I haven't figured out which yet.

The problem is he won't accept or pickup certified notices. I sent a communication back in November via certified mail, he was unavailable for delivery and though the PO left a few notices he never picked it up. It was returned to me. It was nothing critical so I didn't sweat it and have just kept it for my records.

Last week my attorney sent him a Notice of Deposition and a Subpoena for docs via certified mail. Again, he wasn't "available" when the PO tried to deliver and a week later has not gone to the PO to pick it up. What now? Will I have to have a process server deliver the docs? BTW, I don't know what the requirements are elsewhere, but here only the initial action has to be personal service. All other comms. are fine via certified mail.

I am not opposed to a process server, but that of course is much more expensive than mail. I am worried that his strategy here is to bury his head in the sand and stall until it's too late for us to properly prepare for trial which is in a little over 2 mos. Also I am worried that it will be very difficult to have him served personally since he lives out in the country, his property is gated and locked. Not to mention he has four big dogs. He doesn't work, so he doesn't ever have to leave if he doesn't want to.

If he manages to evade these notices and future notices, where will that leave me? Is the judge likely to be pissed at him or is he likely to tell me tough luck, get him served?

 

[Bloopy]

How long is he going to be out of the country?

I say good riddance but wish I had actual help.

 

[escape2paradise]

How long is he going to be out of the country?

I say good riddance but wish I had actual help.

He is not "out" of the country. He lives in the country on acreage.

I wish he was out of the country and gone for a long time!!

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? WA

Some of you know the situation with my X. So far the X has not gotten a new attorney, thus he is either going to do this Pro Se or ignore the rest of the litigation process. I haven't figured out which yet.

The problem is he won't accept or pickup certified notices. I sent a communication back in November via certified mail, he was unavailable for delivery and though the PO left a few notices he never picked it up. It was returned to me. It was nothing critical so I didn't sweat it and have just kept it for my records.

Last week my attorney sent him a Notice of Deposition and a Subpoena for docs via certified mail. Again, he wasn't "available" when the PO tried to deliver and a week later has not gone to the PO to pick it up. What now? Will I have to have a process server deliver the docs? BTW, I don't know what the requirements are elsewhere, but here only the initial action has to be personal service. All other comms. are fine via certified mail.

I am not opposed to a process server, but that of course is much more expensive than mail. I am worried that his strategy here is to bury his head in the sand and stall until it's too late for us to properly prepare for trial which is in a little over 2 mos. Also I am worried that it will be very difficult to have him served personally since he lives out in the country, his property is gated and locked. Not to mention he has four big dogs. He doesn't work, so he doesn't ever have to leave if he doesn't want to.

If he manages to evade these notices and future notices, where will that leave me? Is the judge likely to be pissed at him or is he likely to tell me tough luck, get him served?

Your attorney is honestly the best person to answer those questions. That is an issue that not only varies state by state, but can also vary county by county......and as far as what a judge will do, that can even vary judge by judge.

 

[Bloopy]

He is not "out" of the country. He lives in the country on acreage.

I wish he was out of the country and gone for a long time!!

in... of... How those little words change everything.

Could you serve him at his Mom's?

 

[Ohiogal]

Most times if certified mail is unclaimed you can serve by regular mail.

 

[escape2paradise]

Most times if certified mail is unclaimed you can serve by regular mail.

That would be awesome! I assume Delivery Confirm would be a must.

What happens if the X just decides not to respond, show up etc... ? Do I get to go to court in March and get everything I am asking for or are we still expected to be prepared when we get no cooperation with discovery?

 

[LdiJ]

That would be awesome! I assume Delivery Confirm would be a must.

What happens if the X just decides not to respond, show up etc... ? Do I get to go to court in March and get everything I am asking for or are we still expected to be prepared when we get no cooperation with discovery?

If you can prove proper service and he is a no show, then odds are you will get what you want by default.

 

[escape2paradise]

If you can prove proper service and he is a no show, then odds are you will get what you want by default.

What happens if he doesn't cooperate, so we can't fully prepare, and then he does show? I don't want to show up to trial without being fully prepared and then have the judge scold him and expect us to continue at a disadvantage.

I've heard from very reliable sources that he thinks he has some sort of ace up his sleeve and that he still really feels that he has a shot at custody. I know he is delusional and that he is prone to lying, but I just can't imagine that he won't show up to trial.

Knowing him like I do, he thinks he can break all the rules and come out ahead. He operates this way all the time and I have to say that it has worked well for him most of his life. It worked for him the first six months of this case and then slowly, reality surfaced and most involved have come to realize what he is about. What is troublesome with the court is we have a different commissioner for every hearing. The X gets to start fresh everytime, no chance for any one judge to get to know him and his antics.

I don't want to borrow trouble, I just want to be prepared and to know what I can do to help ensure that my side is as prepared as possible.

I just heard from my attorney's office. The attorney will have to get back to me later this week. He has had a death in the family and is gone for a few days.

 

[Bloopy]

What is troublesome with the court is we have a different commissioner for every hearing. The X gets to start fresh everytime, no chance for any one judge to get to know him and his antics.

That stinks. At least you have the GAL as a constant.

I guess you prepare as if he’s been served. If he presents something new, your lawyer can object. I’m sorry he’s d*cking you around.

 

[escape2paradise]

That stinks. At least you have the GAL as a constant.

I guess you prepare as if he’s been served. If he presents something new, your lawyer can object. I’m sorry he’s d*cking you around.

Thanks Bloopy, I am used to him and his antics. I just want to try and stay a step ahead!

Yes, the GAL is a constant. For the most part she does have the situation pegged. The problem with her is she is very wishy washy.

 

[escape2paradise]

Attorney was back on the scene Thurs. and decided to do just as OG said. We are sending it regular mail. Evidently that is all that is required anyway. The attorney sent it certified just as an extra measure. After three days we can assume service. After having sent it certified with no pick up and regular mail, it will be hard for the X to deny that he didn't get either. The deposition did get rescheduled which makes me a little nervous. We will only have 6 wks afterward until trial. Now it's just a wait and see if X shows or not.

 

[casa]

Attorney was back on the scene Thurs. and decided to do just as OG said. We are sending it regular mail. Evidently that is all that is required anyway. The attorney sent it certified just as an extra measure. After three days we can assume service. After having sent it certified with no pick up and regular mail, it will be hard for the X to deny that he didn't get either. The deposition did get rescheduled which makes me a little nervous. We will only have 6 wks afterward until trial. Now it's just a wait and see if X shows or not.

How in the heck did I miss this thread??

I'm glad your attorney is on top of it. I went through this A LOT over the 4 YEARS of Custody Battles with nuttyX...Many, MANY times we had to serve all possible ways & then 'assume' service. My nuttyX did show up tho. And, got REAMED for 'avoiding service'. I can only hope the same happens to your X.

 

[escape2paradise]

How in the heck did I miss this thread??

I'm glad your attorney is on top of it. I went through this A LOT over the 4 YEARS of Custody Battles with nuttyX...Many, MANY times we had to serve all possible ways & then 'assume' service. My nuttyX did show up tho. And, got REAMED for 'avoiding service'. I can only hope the same happens to your X.

I don't know if my X will show, it is not "court" so he may not take it as seriously as he is supposed to. When it comes time to go to court I imagine my X will show up. I do hope the judge reams him. Thus far he has avoided being reamed as he doesn't attend personally, just sends his attorney to take the lashings. Now that he is without an attorney he will have to take his own punishments.

 

[Ohiogal]

That would be awesome! I assume Delivery Confirm would be a must.

What happens if the X just decides not to respond, show up etc... ? Do I get to go to court in March and get everything I am asking for or are we still expected to be prepared when we get no cooperation with discovery?

Fill out Instructions for Service and have the court clerk actually serve him by regular mail. If it does not come back he is deemed served three days after mailing. If he does not show up even though deemed served, you win.