Avoiding communications

[StampGirl]

ROFL! I guess he showed you!

Of course he did. He also lied under oath (perjury as a police officer is grounds for dismissal) which he was caught. It was so bad his attorney approached mine with an offer to give me what I wanted just to stop the depo. Didn't work. I was just too mad oh and sooo pregnant!!! Never make a pregnant woman mad.

He tried to call me to yell at me and I just didn't answer!! Dorkboy.

 

[escape2paradise]

Of course he did. He also lied under oath (perjury as a police officer is grounds for dismissal) which he was caught. It was so bad his attorney approached mine with an offer to give me what I wanted just to stop the depo. Didn't work. I was just too mad oh and sooo pregnant!!! Never make a pregnant woman mad.

He tried to call me to yell at me and I just didn't answer!! Dorkboy.

I'm still wondering if mine will show. I'm thinking he will come up with some other equally lame excuse. I know my X will lie in the deposition and on the stand. He can't help himself. He'd lie about the color of the sky and bold face tell you it is pink. He lies all the time for seemingly no reason. Just like the whole deal telling me he drove all the way here. Yeah right! Why did he need to tell me that? I guess he thought it would make it more dramatic. Sighhh!

The X already has zero credibility, I'm sure the lies under oath, at least the ones we can show are lies, will just make it worse.

 

[IndyDad1on1]

I'm still wondering if mine will show. I'm thinking he will come up with some other equally lame excuse.

He probably will give another lame excuse, but then again it probably won't be on the correct day then either.

 

[onebreath]

I have heard of court cases like this being 'continued' if his attorney is present, and I have heard of cases where if you have a reasonable custody order drawn up, and presented to the court in his absence, then you get your court order by default. Make sure you have everything written up well and prepared for court in advance.

A lame but poignent request at this point would to be father should have contact information provided to mom before any visitation, home number and address, and if gone with the child longer than ___ days (our CO says 5 days) then the other parent contacted in advance with contact information.

 

[escape2paradise]

Update

Well today was deposition day and X didn't show.

It looks like we are going to motion the court to strike his pleadings. My attorney is not certain it will happen, like everything else in court "it depends". He says it is uncommon for parties not to participate at this late stage and it is even more uncommon that the petitioner not participate. Thus there is no certainty how the judge will rule.

He says that if the judge strikes the pleadings that he may not enter my parenting plan. The judge could rule the case is closed and we are back to square one. I do not want this, I don't want the X to be able to do this again and have to spend another $30K to get to where I am now. My attorney suggests we file a plan giving X supervised visits, with X's mom doing the supervising. I thought we could enter a more detailed plan. One that gives X the oppurtunity to fulfill some counseling and drug treatment requirements to work up to normal visitation. My attorney does not think the judge would implement this type of plan and I don't understand his reasoning as to why.

I am really uncertain as to how I feel about all this. I am EXHAUSTED. There are just so many hurdles and instead of finding relief on the other side there is only more uncertainty!


If the judge were to implement a plan with supervised visits only wouldn't I just be waiting for X to petition for modification and then we start all over again? As I understand it he wouldn't need a change in circumstances to petition for a modification in visitation, only for a change in custody. Is that correct?

 

[LdiJ]

Well today was deposition day and X didn't show.

It looks like we are going to motion the court to strike his pleadings. My attorney is not certain it will happen, like everything else in court "it depends". He says it is uncommon for parties not to participate at this late stage and it is even more uncommon that the petitioner not participate. Thus there is no certainty how the judge will rule.

He says that if the judge strikes the pleadings that he may not enter my parenting plan. The judge could rule the case is closed and we are back to square one. I do not want this, I don't want the X to be able to do this again and have to spend another $30K to get to where I am now. My attorney suggests we file a plan giving X supervised visits, with X's mom doing the supervising. I thought we could enter a more detailed plan. One that gives X the oppurtunity to fulfill some counseling and drug treatment requirements to work up to normal visitation. My attorney does not think the judge would implement this type of plan and I don't understand his reasoning as to why.

I am really uncertain as to how I feel about all this. I am EXHAUSTED. There are just so many hurdles and instead of finding relief on the other side there is only more uncertainty!


If the judge were to implement a plan with supervised visits only wouldn't I just be waiting for X to petition for modification and then we start all over again? As I understand it he wouldn't need a change in circumstances to petition for a modification in visitation, only for a change in custody. Is that correct?

Whether you implement a supervised only plan or another type of plan your ex can petition to modify it again. So it really makes no difference either way. I would say that you should go with your attorney's advice and submit a plan that the judge is more likely to sign off on.

If he files again and goes pro se, then you could try going pro se yourself as well, so that you don't have to deal with legal fees again.

If his mom is assigned as the supervisor, you need to have a gentle talk with her about what that means. She wasn't supposed to allow dad the opportunity to have a whispered conversation with the child like what happened at Christmas.

 

[casa]

Whether you implement a supervised only plan or another type of plan your ex can petition to modify it again. So it really makes no difference either way. I would say that you should go with your attorney's advice and submit a plan that the judge is more likely to sign off on.

If he files again and goes pro se, then you could try going pro se yourself as well, so that you don't have to deal with legal fees again.

If his mom is assigned as the supervisor, you need to have a gentle talk with her about what that means. She wasn't supposed to allow dad the opportunity to have a whispered conversation with the child like what happened at Christmas.

I agree LdiJ. But, I also disagree with the attorney...failing to appear for depositions & hearings looks TERRIBLE to the Court. I can't imagine a Judge just 'skipping' the fact that your X is wasting your & your attorney (& the Court's) time.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

I agree LdiJ. But, I also disagree with the attorney...failing to appear for depositions & hearings looks TERRIBLE to the Court. I can't imagine a Judge just 'skipping' the fact that your X is wasting your & your attorney (& the Court's) time.

If my memory serves me right, isn't it the X that filed the motion to increase his time. When you go into court, can you request attorney fees?

 

[casa]

If my memory serves me right, isn't it the X that filed the motion to increase his time. When you go into court, can you request attorney fees?

Yes & No. Yes, but only if you request those attorney fees in the original filing. You can't request them towards the end of the process like it was an afterthought. If the filings don't include the request for attorney fees, then it's unlikely they'll be awarded.

However, in this case, due to X being the Petitioner & failing to appear, etc. this is a situation where the Judge's discretion could go in OPs favor.

 

[escape2paradise]

If his mom is assigned as the supervisor, you need to have a gentle talk with her about what that means. She wasn't supposed to allow dad the opportunity to have a whispered conversation with the child like what happened at Christmas.

Yes, I wi9ll have a talk with Grandma and I think the only reason she didn't stop it before was she didn't want to create a scene in front of everybody else visiting at Christmas. She is going to need to make it clear to the X before hand that it will not be tolerated.

 

[escape2paradise]

If my memory serves me right, isn't it the X that filed the motion to increase his time. When you go into court, can you request attorney fees?

His motion was for custody, not just an increase in time. We have never had a legal parenting plan we only had personal agreements and he still is not legally dad. The paperwork has gone back and forth for paternity but nothing has been signed off by the judge.

I wish I could get my attorney fees back, but I'm not holding my breath. It probably wouldn't matter anyway, he would never pay. He doesn't work and all the assets are conveniently in his girlfriends/fake wife's name.

 

[casa]

Yes, I wi9ll have a talk with Grandma and I think the only reason she didn't stop it before was she didn't want to create a scene in front of everybody else visiting at Christmas. She is going to need to make it clear to the X before hand that it will not be tolerated.

I just want to say that I'm glad you can have an ongoing relationship with the X MIL, despite her son being a tool. That's a good sign

 

[escape2paradise]

I just want to say that I'm glad you can have an ongoing relationship with the X MIL, despite her son being a tool. That's a good sign

Yes, she is a good lady. I feel sorry for her having to be in the middle of this stuff! I just hope she has the spine to stand up to her son. I really believe she does, I've seen her do it before. I really think the Christmas thing was trying to avoid a huge scene. X is known for causing ordeals at family functions and his mom goes out of her way trying to prep everybody for his visits, won't allow any alcohol etc...

I hope to hear from the attorney today. He said he thought it would take about 10-14 days to get the motion heard. X will have to be notified of the proceedings. I can't imagine him not showing in court, but who knows. I really can't fathom why he started all this if he isn't going to see it through.

 

[casa]

Yes, she is a good lady. I feel sorry for her having to be in the middle of this stuff! I just hope she has the spine to stand up to her son. I really believe she does, I've seen her do it before. I really think the Christmas thing was trying to avoid a huge scene. X is known for causing ordeals at family functions and his mom goes out of her way trying to prep everybody for his visits, won't allow any alcohol etc...

I hope to hear from the attorney today. He said he thought it would take about 10-14 days to get the motion heard. X will have to be notified of the proceedings. I can't imagine him not showing in court, but who knows. I really can't fathom why he started all this if he isn't going to see it through.

He may have bitten off more than he can chew.

 

[escape2paradise]

He may have bitten off more than he can chew.

He definitely did that!