Avoiding communications

[escape2paradise]

Fill out Instructions for Service and have the court clerk actually serve him by regular mail. If it does not come back he is deemed served three days after mailing. If he does not show up even though deemed served, you win.

My attorney is serving him via regular mail. He had the gal that handles that stuff in his office fill out an affadavit of service. Neither he or the paralegal mentioned the option of the court clerk serving him via mail. I will ask him about it. He essentially said the same as you as far as winning. He said if he doesn't show we will motion to have his pleadings stricken and by default the court will adopt my plan. Here's to hoping the X doesn't show!

 

[casa]

I don't know if my X will show, it is not "court" so he may not take it as seriously as he is supposed to. When it comes time to go to court I imagine my X will show up. I do hope the judge reams him. Thus far he has avoided being reamed as he doesn't attend personally, just sends his attorney to take the lashings. Now that he is without an attorney he will have to take his own punishments.

Even if he Does show? Your attorney should 'mention' it. He WLL take his punishments....eventually

 

[escape2paradise]

Even if he Does show? Your attorney should 'mention' it. He WLL take his punishments....eventually

One can surely hope!

I will update with the low down. The deposition isn't scheduled until 2/7 so I have a little while to stew. I won't bet on it, but I will surely pray he is too stubborn to make an appearance!

Thanks for all the help guys! It is much appreciated!

 

[casa]

One can surely hope!

I will update with the low down. The deposition isn't scheduled until 2/7 so I have a little while to stew. I won't bet on it, but I will surely pray he is too stubborn to make an appearance!

Thanks for all the help guys! It is much appreciated!

You have ALL your docs./declarations/affidavits filed Right?

What are you worried about? ANYthing you think you overlooked?

 

[escape2paradise]

You have ALL your docs./declarations/affidavits filed Right?

What are you worried about? ANYthing you think you overlooked?

Ya know, I think so.

The X started all this. He filed the parentage, temporary parenting plan and child support stuff and had me served. Before we went to court for the hearing we filed a responsive declaration, financial declaration, and our own temporary parenting plan.

We ended up filing an agreed order at the hearing. That order had the basics outlined with specific visitation dates listed up to summer. We only outlined visitation until then as we expected the GAL to have her report done by then and figured we would see what she suggested. We knew some of the stuff the X was pulling, but didn't yet have proof and the courts therefore were not aware. In the meantime X kept pulling his "abusive use of conflict" and hung himself. The GAL came out with her report and a request for X to do the folicle test. I believe you know what happened there.

Since June X has had no visits and things have gone from bad to worse for him. His attorney got sick of X sabbotaging his own case and quit on him. Now he is supposedly Pro Se though he hasn't filed an official notice to the court, which as I understand it is required. He has yet to fulfill any of the requirements of the court. No parenting class, no drug tests, no release signed for GAL to investigate his records, no counseling.

Anyway, the temp PP we proposed is not what I want given the circumstances since then and all the shenanigans of the X have been revealed. I want to ask for supervised visits until he will get treatment and agree to the counseling the GAL has demanded he seek to "learn proper parent child boundaries" etc....I just don't trust him and given what he did on X mas I have no reason to believe he won't stop with bull.

So I think we still need to file a proposed Permanent plan and I don't know what else. I've got quite a few questions for my attorney that is one of them. As I understand things, if X doesn't show we can file the motion to have the pleading stricken and a default entered. I don't believe we have to serve him this motion though I could be misunderstanding that. We will have to serve him with any amended pleadings, so the Perm plan we are seeking he would have to be informed about.

 

[casa]

Ya know, I think so.

The X started all this. He filed the parentage, temporary parenting plan and child support stuff and had me served. Before we went to court for the hearing we filed a responsive declaration, financial declaration, and our own temporary parenting plan.

OK, all that's normal.

We ended up filing an agreed order at the hearing. That order had the basics outlined with specific visitation dates listed up to summer. We only outlined visitation until then as we expected the GAL to have her report done by then and figured we would see what she suggested. We knew some of the stuff the X was pulling, but didn't yet have proof and the courts therefore were not aware. In the meantime X kept pulling his "abusive use of conflict" and hung himself. The GAL came out with her report and a request for X to do the folicle test. I believe you know what happened there.

The 'agreed order' you refer to is what we commonly refer to on the site as a 'Stipulation' ie; both parties agree.

Did X do the follicle test?? If No...ANY visit subsequent to that is Free from Contempt. IMO

Since June X has had no visits and things have gone from bad to worse for him. His attorney got sick of X sabbotaging his own case and quit on him. Now he is supposedly Pro Se though he hasn't filed an official notice to the court, which as I understand it is required. He has yet to fulfill any of the requirements of the court. No parenting class, no drug tests, no release signed for GAL to investigate his records, no counseling.

Good. He no longer has an attorney. That benefits you.

Anyway, the temp PP we proposed is not what I want given the circumstances since then and all the shenanigans of the X have been revealed. I want to ask for supervised visits until he will get treatment and agree to the counseling the GAL has demanded he seek to "learn proper parent child boundaries" etc....I just don't trust him and given what he did on X mas I have no reason to believe he won't stop with bull.

Cite Christmas as your reason for requesting the court's intervention/supervision re; visitation.

So I think we still need to file a proposed Permanent plan and I don't know what else. I've got quite a few questions for my attorney that is one of them. As I understand things, if X doesn't show we can file the motion to have the pleading stricken and a default entered. I don't believe we have to serve him this motion though I could be misunderstanding that. We will have to serve him with any amended pleadings, so the Perm plan we are seeking he would have to be informed about.

OK, What IS your PP? Do you know Who/Where/How Much Supervised visitation will cost? Is there a family member or facility near you? Come to court with a plan...it'll help.

 

[escape2paradise]

OK, What IS your PP? Do you know Who/Where/How Much Supervised visitation will cost? Is there a family member or facility near you? Come to court with a plan...it'll help.

X has still not had a follicle test, not one he has submitted anyway.

As far as the supervised, I don't mind his mother doing it. She and I get along great, I trust her.

The problem is, on Christmas he had a supervised visit w/ DD at grandma's and he did his thing right in front of his family. Whispering and working on DD while everybody could only catch bits and pieces of what he said. He also made derogatory remarks about me and my family and was asking all kinds of questions about us. Not sure exactly what but was told that he was clearly trying to elicit info about what we are up to as far as the case goes. DD doesn't have a clue, we don't share info or involve her in any of this. He tells her everything, so I guess he assumes we are feeding her our side.

Grandma saw DD becoming extremely upset, DD started crying while X was whispering and grandma asked her if she was ready to leave. She said yes and her grandma brought her home early.

DD was still crying when she came home. She told me she was in pain (she had a tonsillectomy a few days prior), but I found out the next day she was upset due to the X and his shennanigans.

Before the visit, I told X's mom to watch him as I knew he wanted badly to speak to DD alone. Right now he is only allowed to call/talk to her on our home phone. He doesn't like this evidently he is afraid we are recording, which he has told the GAL. I don't care what he "thinks" if it keeps him from talking inappropriately w/ DD. Evidently he keeps asking DD to call him from anywhere else she can, her friends house, cell phone or even a pay phone when she is at the movies or something. DD makes excuses why she can't, she knows what he wants and tries to avoid having to deal with it.

So now I don't know what to do about supervised visits. If he is brazen enough to forge right ahead in front of his family, I don't know if it is even okay for her to visit with him there. I honestly believe he just doesn't get it. He does not see that his behavior is damaging or inappropriate. That is why he keeps getting in trouble. He doesn't know what he is doing is wrong and hangs it out for the GAL and I guess now his family to see.

I don't know what he was trying to cook up with DD as only bits and pieces were heard and DD isn't telling me anything about that. I hope she is talking to her counselor about it. I did call the counselor and tell her what happened. Whatever it is, I am trying to keep my eyes peeled. I imagine if he has something worked out it will be going down pretty darn soon.

 

[IndyDad1on1]

Just two suggestions I have used in the past that might work for you. You can ask your attorney about them. I don't know how important the deposition is to you or your case, but if these are not options that are currently necessary, there good to know about for future references.

1) Have him served at work (if this is possible)

This next one is great, I love it when I have to use it.
2) Pay a company who has "Process Serving" services (your attorney will know more about this). Usually PI companies do this.

 

[escape2paradise]

Just two suggestions I have used in the past that might work for you. You can ask your attorney about them. I don't know how important the deposition is to you or your case, but if these are not options that are currently necessary, there good to know about for future references.

1) Have him served at work (if this is possible)

He doesn't have a job!
This next one is great, I love it when I have to use it.
2) Pay a company who has "Process Serving" services (your attorney will know more about this). Usually PI companies do this.

We were trying to avoid that as it would be extremely expensive given it would be hard for them to serve him.

 

[IndyDad1on1]

Ohh bummer

 

[escape2paradise]

Minor Update

I got a call from X this morning @ 10:30 am. I was more than a little surprised, we haven't spoken since June, if I remember right. Anyway, he was cursing me up one side and down the other. Telling me what a loser my attorney is and I should get another one, that I am a stupid B, you get the idea. I remained calmed and asked him what he was talking about, as I had no clue. He proceeds to tell me he is in town (3 hr. drive for him) at my attorney's office ready to take his deposition and my "stupid" attorney is not even present.

I so wanted to laugh at this point. I explained very calmly to him that the deposition had been rescheduled to 2/7. That he didn't pick up the first notice (evidently he did finally) so we sent another via regular mail with a rescheduled date. The most hilarious part is the deposition in the first notice was scheduled for the 24th, which is tomorrow. So I got to tell the X that he shouldn't have been there anyway, as today was only the 23rd and besides that he was way early since it wasn't even scheduled until 1:30 pm. He fell silent and then proceeded to say he didn't get the second notice along with a few choice expletives. I tried to tell him the date had to be changed so we could give him proper time to prepare etc...He hung up on me.

I then got an email from my attorney's assistant. She told me X called with some lame excuse that he wasn't going to be able to make it because he had car problems. She then told him that the attorney wasn't there and there was no deposition scheduled for today. He hung up on her.

Appears that his ranting about driving all the way here was a lie and just an excuse to escalate things. Still, after he called the attorney's office, he hadn't figured out he that he had the date wrong so had to call and show me his a$$.

Anyway, I am sure he is fuming after making himself look like a complete idiot. Not to mention, he will now have to come up with another excuse to get out of the rescheduled date.

 

[casa]

I got a call from X this morning @ 10:30 am. I was more than a little surprised, we haven't spoken since June, if I remember right. Anyway, he was cursing me up one side and down the other. Telling me what a loser my attorney is and I should get another one, that I am a stupid B, you get the idea. I remained calmed and asked him what he was talking about, as I had no clue. He proceeds to tell me he is in town (3 hr. drive for him) at my attorney's office ready to take his deposition and my "stupid" attorney is not even present.

I so wanted to laugh at this point. I explained very calmly to him that the deposition had been rescheduled to 2/7. That he didn't pick up the first notice (evidently he did finally) so we sent another via regular mail with a rescheduled date. The most hilarious part is the deposition in the first notice was scheduled for the 24th, which is tomorrow. So I got to tell the X that he shouldn't have been there anyway, as today was only the 23rd and besides that he was way early since it wasn't even scheduled until 1:30 pm. He fell silent and then proceeded to say he didn't get the second notice along with a few choice expletives. I tried to tell him the date had to be changed so we could give him proper time to prepare etc...He hung up on me.

I then got an email from my attorney's assistant. She told me X called with some lame excuse that he wasn't going to be able to make it because he had car problems. She then told him that the attorney wasn't there and there was no deposition scheduled for today. He hung up on her.

Appears that his ranting about driving all the way here was a lie and just an excuse to escalate things. Still, after he called the attorney's office, he hadn't figured out he that he had the date wrong so had to call and show me his a$$.

Anyway, I am sure he is fuming after making himself look like a complete idiot. Not to mention, he will now have to come up with another excuse to get out of the rescheduled date.

Like I always say ~ Stay the course & give 'em enough rope.....

 

[escape2paradise]

Like I always say ~ Stay the course & give 'em enough rope.....

I have to say that in the beginning it was oh soooo hard to be patient, but alas my patience is paying off! I've even gotten a few good laughs along the way. Who would have thought!

 

[StampGirl]

Classic!!! I love it!!!

When my Ex had to go to his deposition (he decided to KEEP our joint tax return the year we seperated and not give me my half), boy was he mad!!!

My attorney's office is located in Century City. For those of you outside of California, its just outside of Beverly Hills. My Ex and I both live about 1.5 hrs away from there without traffic. So just to tick off my Ex, my attorney schedules his depo at 8:30am in the morning during the week!!! He had to drive there (his attorney also) in traffic mind you HORRID traffic (imagine leaving your house at 5am just to barely make it in time).

I tried to talk to my Ex the day before to warn him about the parking structure fees (as my attorney would not validate for him) being extremely high (about $20 per 15 minutes up to $60 per car). Its a high rise attorney building. Attorney was actually a friend of my dad's so hence my using him. However, my Ex hung up on me as he knew better!!!

So I parked in the structure across the street ($5.00 entire day). The depo lasted about 3hrs and when my Ex went to leave he pushed his and his attorney's parking tickets across the table for my attorney to validate. My attorney said "No validating for non-clients"!!!!

Ex had to pay for HIS and his attorney's parking fees!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just laughed!!!!

Ok there is my silly depo story!!!

 

[escape2paradise]

Classic!!! I love it!!!

When my Ex had to go to his deposition (he decided to KEEP our joint tax return the year we seperated and not give me my half), boy was he mad!!!

My attorney's office is located in Century City. For those of you outside of California, its just outside of Beverly Hills. My Ex and I both live about 1.5 hrs away from there without traffic. So just to tick off my Ex, my attorney schedules his depo at 8:30am in the morning during the week!!! He had to drive there (his attorney also) in traffic mind you HORRID traffic (imagine leaving your house at 5am just to barely make it in time).

I tried to talk to my Ex the day before to warn him about the parking structure fees (as my attorney would not validate for him) being extremely high (about $20 per 15 minutes up to $60 per car). Its a high rise attorney building. Attorney was actually a friend of my dad's so hence my using him. However, my Ex hung up on me as he knew better!!!

So I parked in the structure across the street ($5.00 entire day). The depo lasted about 3hrs and when my Ex went to leave he pushed his and his attorney's parking tickets across the table for my attorney to validate. My attorney said "No validating for non-clients"!!!!

Ex had to pay for HIS and his attorney's parking fees!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just laughed!!!!

Ok there is my silly depo story!!!

ROFL! I guess he showed you!