Child support increases

[gidgetgirl1]

What is the name of your state?Washington

I have two kids 11 and 17 that their father pays 873.00/mo support for. The 17 year old is beginning her senior year of high school and is poised for a four year college. Although she has won some scholarships so far, the brunt will fall on her and us financially - we make too much for Federal Aid and not enough to afford the bills. Her father and I do not speak but I have written him several times regarding his intentions of helping 50/50 with college for her with no response. Do I need to take him to court to get him to commit to sharing these bills or is he automatically obligated?

 

[splcstr2001]

You should read your paperwork, most paperwork states that support ends for that child when they reach 18 years of age or graduate High school.
I have heard that some states factor in a higher education, but I believe that it is rare.
Try your state statutes, they should be online.
If he is not ordered to, and the law states that he doesn't have to, don't count on his help.

 

[MindyT]

Damn, $873 a month for 2 kids? How did you manage that? He must make a hell of a lot of money. And you want MORE??? Figures.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Get thee to court and seek modification here is the information on Washington post secondary education support:
Washington The Washington State Supreme Court ruled in Childers v. Childers, 89 Wn.2d 592, 575 P.2d 201 (1978), held that judges have the discretion to require a parent to support a child beyond the age of 18 if the child remains dependent on his/her parents for support. In 1990, the Legislature enacted RCW 26.19.090 governing post secondary educational support awards. Under the statute, the court will determine whether the adult child is in fact dependent and is relying upon the parents for the reasonable necessities of life. The court will exercise its discretion when determining whether and for how long to award post secondary educational support based upon consideration of factors that include but are not limited to the following: (a) Age of the child; (b) Child's needs; (c) Parent’s expectations for their children when they were together; (d) Child's prospects, desires, aptitudes, abilities or disabilities; (e) Nature of the post secondary education sought; and (f) Parents' level of education, standard of living, and resources.

 

[snodderly]

Yes, you need to contact your attorney and ask him to file a motion for post minority support. I have a cousin who lives in Washington State and went through this last year.

Her ex ended up being responsible for 50% of all expenses that were not covered by federal aid, scholarships or loans. The university set up an account for the child and the father was ordered to pay his 50% directly to the university by a certain date each semester.

If your daughter demonstrates the ability then the courts will require him to help with the expense. Good luck!
snodderly

 

[gidgetgirl1]

Thank you so much for that information on Washington State laws - you were a big help!

As for MindyT's comments - My Ex makes 75,000/year plus a $400.00/mo car allowance. I was a stay at home mom at the time of the divorce and my first job out was for $10.00/hr. Perhaps you need to do some math...how much do you think it takes to raise two kids (housing, groceries, day care, school, sports, braces (both), health insurance, etc.)...?

Further, the State figures the support based on parents incomes combined. Our split is 60/40.

Finally, my daughter would have had help for college from him before the divorce - why should that change?

 

[nextwife]

Perhaps you need to do some math...how much do you think it takes to raise two kids (housing, groceries, day care, school, sports, braces (both), health insurance, etc.)...?

Well, some of what you listed are costs we have for ourselves-whether we have kids or not. My mortgage payment and property taxes didn't INCREASE when my daughter got here, I had those costs before husband and kid came along. They were not DUE to having a child. Nor was the cost of phone service, heat, sewer and water, etc. I was paying for school (via my $5000/yr property taxes) before I ever had a kid, so that was not an added cost either. Their clothes, their food, etc are costs of raising the child.

Our housing, our transportantion, our taxes, etc. are costs we have for our OWN living, child or no child.

 

[jsumpter]

gidgetgirl1

I feel your pain and I totally agree with you 100%. The father should have to contribute 50% of a child's college education. Like you said, if you were still married, he would be contributing so why should a divorce change that?

As to MindyT's response, $873/month is not all that much for 2 kids. I live in TN, have 2 kids and my ex pays $795/month. Here the noncustodial parent has to pay 21% of gross income for one child, 32% for 2 children and it increases by the number of children up to a max of 50% for 5 or more kids. Plus, they factor in any additional visitation the noncustodial parent receives and subtract that from the monthly support.

As to nextwife comments, I don't understand how you can have this point of view. Yes, we may all have the usual expenses of daily living whether or not we have children but the child support is just that, money paid to support the child and believe your expenses increase dramatically if you have children. Now whether that money is spent for mortgage payments, car payments, utility or grocery expenses, it doesn't matter. Children have to have a roof over their heads, reliable transportation, food on the table, etc. Children can't support themselves and these are all things that the child support is provided for. Otherwise, a lot of children may have suffer drastically because of a lack of being able to have these things. So, that's just part of it, like it or not.

jsumpter

 

[MindyT]

Thank you nextwife.....

As far as what it takes to raise 2 kids? My husband and I were raising 4 on a LOT LESS than what you stated; try about $1600 a month, and they still have everything that you listed that children need. I'm not sure how the cost of living there is, but if he can afford it, OK, whatever. But I'm sure there is a way to downsize some of those costs. I will get nowhere NEAR that amount to raise our FOUR children and they will still have all they need. But I also understand that my husband does not make much (doesn't have the ability either) and HE has to live also. If I offended you I'm sorry, I just see too many women who depend way too much on what they can drain out of the children's father in child support, and a lot of times they STILL complain when they get a pretty decent share already. I lived with that and I know.

 

[LdiJ]

As far as what it takes to raise 2 kids? My husband and I were raising 4 on a LOT LESS than what you stated; try about $1600 a month, and they still have everything that you listed that children need. I'm not sure how the cost of living there is, but if he can afford it, OK, whatever. But I'm sure there is a way to downsize some of those costs. I will get nowhere NEAR that amount to raise our FOUR children and they will still have all they need. But I also understand that my husband does not make much (doesn't have the ability either) and HE has to live also. If I offended you I'm sorry, I just see too many women who depend way too much on what they can drain out of the children's father in child support, and a lot of times they STILL complain when they get a pretty decent share already. I lived with that and I know.

There are many parts of the country where it would not be possible to raise 4 kids on a family income of 1600.00 a month. Particularly teenagers. You need to keep that in mind.

 

[MindyT]

Actually, smart ass, we don't get ANY government assistance. And we can afford our kids as well as you. And YOU are passing judgment as well, on someone who is less fortunate than you are (actually, I'm twice as fortunate, I have four beautiful children to love). That speaks a lot about your character. And even if I collected government money, or if anyone else does, what's it to you? You rake in big bucks obviously, so as long as you're living in luxury, it's none of your business what anyone "below poverty level" does. People "below poverty level" pay taxes that create government assistance as well as rich people like yourself do. And if you could afford children, then why are you wanting more money to raise them? You're now on my ignore list so any future posts won't be read. Good luck in your endeavor to get even more money.

 

[strider5]

What is the name of your state?Washington

I have two kids 11 and 17 that their father pays 873.00/mo support for. The 17 year old is beginning her senior year of high school and is poised for a four year college. Although she has won some scholarships so far, the brunt will fall on her and us financially - we make too much for Federal Aid and not enough to afford the bills. Her father and I do not speak but I have written him several times regarding his intentions of helping 50/50 with college for her with no response. Do I need to take him to court to get him to commit to sharing these bills or is he automatically obligated?

this just pisses me off. nobody owes you a college education, married, divorced, or otherwise. I worked 3 concurrent jobs through 6 years of college so I could get a good job and make a decent living. Tell your daughter it's time to grow up and accept some responsibility.

I now pay $1400 per month for my 4-year-old (never married the leech, luckily) and if she cannot manage to put some of that towards a college growth fund, then I guess my daughter's gonna have to pull some scholarships or do the community college thing. I'll move out of the country before I let anyone leech from me like that.

 

[nextwife]

I grew up in an intact family, affluent suburb, dad was an attorney, and I didn't get my college paid for either. My dad worked for his and felt it grows character and responsibilty for us to do the same. I had peers from intact families, they didn't necessarily get their college educations paid by their folks, either. Some did, some didn't but it was up to the parents to decide.

My husband had a living mom still married to his adoptive dad, and he, too, paid his own college costs.

All three of us sibs went to college on our own. One is a successful attorney with their own firm, and another one is a published expert in their field, with a post grad decree from Yale (and single- no spouse or BF helped with that either).

 

[gidgetgirl1]

Rich and Affluent?? Where did you get that? We didnt have enough money for a home - so we built one ground up - to earn the sweat equity - I drive a ten year old Jeep with 180,000 miles on it, my ex is in construction and works his butt off - I am an administrative assistant - we agreed that our kids would have better. She will be the first in either of our families to attend school.

My daughter got a full time job as an engineering intern for Hewlett Packard this summer and all of that money is for school. She has also won two scholarships worth $11,000 and has not even started her senior year yet. My daughter has Holt Oram Syndrome and life has not been and will not be easy for her. She has plans to get in to genetics/cell biology and it will be a lot of school. The colleges have an expected family contribution. Period. It is an amount not covered by student loans (I wouldnt consider taking out a loan for her - nor has she asked) It figures to be about $5000./yr. $2500.00 per parent - $200.00/month. His child support for her will drop off in June before she enters school and it will be reduced by over $500.00 - asking him to put $200.00/mo for her schooling should not be asking too much.

Living with being disfigured has given her enough "character".

I cant figure out the venom assosciated with a mom just wanting her kid to have a better chance in life.

 

[MindyT]

Strider and nextwife, EXACTLY. Child support is supposed to be used for that kind of thing, it's called a BUDGET. You learn to live on what you have and don't expect the other parent to go above and beyond what the law requires (most of the time they won't, and a lot of the time they shouldn't anyway); and anyone who gets over $800 a month in child support, for only 2 kids, whether or not the NCP makes enough money, is damned lucky and should count their blessings instead of their gripes. And to strider, i have no idea how you do that. And I know the feeling, trust me. Leech is probably the perfect word. (Most of the time in these cases, it is.)