Does she have enough to change custody?

[LdiJ]

Good evening. I'm back again with some related questions. I apologize in advance if this gets long. I will use white space and bullet point as much as possible.

When I posted originally it was only about our 11 year old son. We also have a 17 year old daughter. I didn't mention her before bc my ex was only asking for custody of our son. That has now changed. She has not filed at this point but is apparently talking to an attorney. And she sent me a 6 page document that she apparently sent to him about why custody should be changed. I'm guessing she sent it to me to scare me. In my opinion it's 6 pages of toilet paper, but I would like seasoned opinions. I won't subject you to 6 pages of crap. I'll just hit the high points. She is saying that she wants custody of both children. The 17 year old does not want to move to TX. She is a junior in high school and wants to finish high school here and go to college here.

My exwife claims that my wife and I have told the 17 year old that we will be kicking her out when she finishes high school because my wife is pregnant and we need the room for the baby. This is not true. We've never said any such thing. Now onto her reasons.

Just as an FYI, your 17 year old is really not a factor at all in this situation. There is virtually no way that a judge would force a 17 year old into a custody change that they don't want, unless massively serious issues were in play.

1.. Son's grades. We've talked about this before. He is most likely not going to fail this year. He's been working with a private tutor and has improved his failing subject from a 63 to an 81 average. As long as he gets a 74 for this final term he will pass this year.

That is the strongest issue that mom has, but since you have done such a good job of getting your son help, its very unlikely to fly.

2. My wife.
A. Exwife claims that my wife is bipolar and should be on medication. This is not true. Not even sure where this came from.

Judge won't take that one seriously at all.

B. Exwife claims that my wife and I fight all the time. We've had arguments, yes, same as any other married couple. Exwife claims that my wife and I seperated for 6 months last year. We did seperate, but only for about 2 months. And the point of that seperation was never to get divorced, but only to gain some space and perspective. Which we did.

No proof.

C. Exwife also claims that my wife's 12 year old has mental problems and has been hospitalized for them and is autistic and bipolar. Yes, my step-daughter is autistic and does suffer from emotional problems. She is in special ed classes in school and is on medication. Are my step-daughter's emotional disabilities even relevant?

Unlikely that a judge would be interested in that one unless there was hard evidence that your step-daughter's problems were negatively impacting your children.

D. She claims that my wife is a crazy driver and she would love to see my wife's driving record. My wife is a home hospice nurse and drives about 90% of the day. Her driving record is checked by her employer every 6 months. She has 1 ticket in the last 5 years. For speeding in 2013. It was actually work-related and the kids were not with her. She also claims that my wife texts and drives, which is not true. How do I prove a negative?

Its not up to you to prove the negative, its up to her to prove her allegation. However, if it ends up in a motion, simply say what you said here.

E. She claims that my wife has set up a program on the 17 year old's cell phone in order to read all texts and emails between my exwife and the kids. Again not true. About 3 years ago I asked my wife to put a monitoring app on the 17 year old's phone because she was hanging out with questionable people and got caught sneaking out in the middle of the night and I wanted to monitor her communications. Once she gained my trust back it was removed and has not been on her phone for about a year and half.

Again, up to her to prove it...but you can also simply respond with what you stated here.

F. She claims that my wife grounds the kids if her name is even mentioned in our house. This has never happened. Ever.

Up to her to prove it.

G. She claims that my wife bought the 11 year old the video game Grand Theft Auto. She didn't. I did. Yes, I let him play it as well as Call of Duty, but only with me. Isn't this my right as a parent?

Say that...

The rest is just random things thrown in. I'll try to be brief.

- We don't take the kids to get haircuts. Not true. The boy was shaggy for awhile. He always had a buzz cut and wanted to grow it out. I didn't like it but I allowed him to do it. It wasn't hurting anything.

- The kids supposedly always tell her that we have no food in the house. Complete lie. We spend roughly $900-1000 per month on groceries. There is always plenty of food in this house. It may not be what they want, but it's here.

- That we never cook for the kids and make them cook for themselves 3-4 nights per week. Not true. Some weeks my wife or I cook every night. There are weeks that we both have to work a little later or take the 11 year old to tutoring and dont get home until almost 8:00 that yes we tell them to fix something for themselves.

There are additional stories about how my step-daughter tried to get my son to steal a phone charger that someone had left in a doctor waiting room...never happened. Also a story about when she came into town at the last minute one time and wanted the kids. I told her she could have them for a few hours but I needed them back by 5:30 as we already had family dinner plans that had been in place for well over 3 weeks. Blah blah blah. After we had picked them up, those plans fell through because of a death.

That's pretty much the gist of why she wants custody. Opinions please? Thank you for reading all of that!

Most of that is petty BS. The judge simply won't care, but it ends up in a motion, you can say the same things you said here.

First and foremost, its not up to you to disprove her allegations, its up to her to prove them if you say that they are not true.

What is likely to end up happening is that a GAL will get assigned to your case to delve deeper into the issues than a judge could. The GAL will speak to your children to determine the truth of some of mom's allegations. The GAL would also speak to other people connected with the children (teachers, doctors perhaps family members etc).

I think that this is going to go nowhere for mom in the end, but it might be a bitter battle to get to that point. A lot will depend on the attorney mom hires...whether the attorney is the type to talk sense to her, or whether the attorney is the type to do whatever she wants no matter how unlikely it is that she would prevail.

 

[dadinMS]

Thank you for your reply!

Another question has come up. She emailed me that she has retained an attorney and that all communication between us must go through him and sent me his name and email address. I haven't been served with anything at this point.

Do I really have to email this guy for everything related to the kids? For example I was going to email her an update on our son's grades and progress in tutoring along with the lesson review his tutor emails after each session. I was also going to discuss with her travel arrangements for the kids for spring break. She is supposed to pick them up and drop them off at a specified spot in the town next to mine. But the day i get them back from her I'm returning from a vacation and flying into an airport that is 2 hours closer to her so if she meets me there when I fly in to drop the kids off it will save her 4 hours of driving. Seems kind of stupid for me to email some stranger about all this.

So I guess my question is am I bound to talking to him because she has retained him? Shouldn't I still be able to email her about the kids and if she feels to need to talk to him she can? Obviously anything about the impending litigation will need to go through the attorneys and I get that.

Thanks again for answering my questions!

 

[LdiJ]

Thank you for your reply!

Another question has come up. She emailed me that she has retained an attorney and that all communication between us must go through him and sent me his name and email address. I haven't been served with anything at this point.

Do I really have to email this guy for everything related to the kids? For example I was going to email her an update on our son's grades and progress in tutoring along with the lesson review his tutor emails after each session. I was also going to discuss with her travel arrangements for the kids for spring break. She is supposed to pick them up and drop them off at a specified spot in the town next to mine. But the day i get them back from her I'm returning from a vacation and flying into an airport that is 2 hours closer to her so if she meets me there when I fly in to drop the kids off it will save her 4 hours of driving. Seems kind of stupid for me to email some stranger about all this.

So I guess my question is am I bound to talking to him because she has retained him? Shouldn't I still be able to email her about the kids and if she feels to need to talk to him she can? Obviously anything about the impending litigation will need to go through the attorneys and I get that.

Thanks again for answering my questions!

No, you ARE NOT required to talk to him about ordinary parenting issues. You aren't actually required to talk to him at all...even about impending litigation. However you absolutely do not have to go through him for ordinary parenting issues.

 

[Proserpina]

Once counsel is retained though, Mom has absolutely no obligation to speak with Dad except through her attorney. At all. Ever.

If anything though, this often protects both parties. Sure, the fees go up. But it's a lot harder to have an email piddling match when one of the players is the attorney.

Then again, Family Wizard would be a lot cheaper and would amount to just about the same thing.

 

[dadinMS]

I guess I just don't feel comfortable co-parenting our kids through some stranger who doesn't even know our kids and therefor doesn't have their best interests at heart.

I guess I'll just email her the update about our son. It doesn't require a response. It's really just an fyi.

And I'll ask her if she wants to meet 2 hours closer to drop the kids off. If she wants to run it by her attorney that's up to her. Or she can just ignore it and drive an unnecessary 4 hours. It doesn't really matter to me one way or another on that part.

 

[dadinMS]

Hello all. I have a few more questions. First an update. As of today she hasn't filed anything. But I'm waiting for it to be any day. Now onto my questions.

1. I'm trying to prepare as much in advance as I can. When she does file and I have to defend, would the fact that she hasn't utilized but a fraction of her visitation matter? I mean she's asking for custody and to move them 8 hours away and yet since 2010 she has only seen them on average twice a year. For example, we are supposed to split their Christmas break. Last year she didn't get them for any of their break. There have been a few spring breaks that were hers that she didn't get them. She's supposed to have them 6 weeks of the summer. The last 2 summers she got then for 1 week and 2 weeks respectively. I also have emails from her in 2008 and 2009 where she admits that she would go 6 or 7 months without seeing them bc she was too busy. Would the judge find it relevant? I don't want to waste time making a pretty calendar to highlight all the time she hasn't spent with them if it isn't going to matter. And what about phone records? She has court ordered phone visitation 2 times per week on set days and times. Over the last 5 or 6 years she calls roughly once a month. Will that be relevant?

2. In our order mother's day weekend is hers. But since 2006 she has not once gotten them for mother's day. Ever. I've emailed her twice and asked her if she's getting them this mother's day weekend. I know that she has opened the emails because I use readnotify. She won't answer me. The reason I want to know if bc if she's not getting them, my wife and I would like to take them on a weekend trip to the beach out of town. I understand that it's her weekend and I'm perfectly fine with her getting them bc it is her weekend. But if she's not going to utilize it then we'd like to make plans and book lodging bc where we would go books up fast. Anyways our 17 year old texted her today and asked if they were going to be with her for mother's day. Her response was "not that I know of." Not exactly a no. But kinda like a no? Would we be safe going ahead and making plans for that weekend based on that?

Thanks a bunch!

 

[Proserpina]

Hello all. I have a few more questions. First an update. As of today she hasn't filed anything. But I'm waiting for it to be any day. Now onto my questions.

1. I'm trying to prepare as much in advance as I can. When she does file and I have to defend, would the fact that she hasn't utilized but a fraction of her visitation matter? I mean she's asking for custody and to move them 8 hours away and yet since 2010 she has only seen them on average twice a year. For example, we are supposed to split their Christmas break. Last year she didn't get them for any of their break. There have been a few spring breaks that were hers that she didn't get them. She's supposed to have them 6 weeks of the summer. The last 2 summers she got then for 1 week and 2 weeks respectively. I also have emails from her in 2008 and 2009 where she admits that she would go 6 or 7 months without seeing them bc she was too busy. Would the judge find it relevant? I don't want to waste time making a pretty calendar to highlight all the time she hasn't spent with them if it isn't going to matter. And what about phone records? She has court ordered phone visitation 2 times per week on set days and times. Over the last 5 or 6 years she calls roughly once a month. Will that be relevant?

That is ABSOLUTELY relevant.

2. In our order mother's day weekend is hers. But since 2006 she has not once gotten them for mother's day. Ever. I've emailed her twice and asked her if she's getting them this mother's day weekend. I know that she has opened the emails because I use readnotify. She won't answer me. The reason I want to know if bc if she's not getting them, my wife and I would like to take them on a weekend trip to the beach out of town. I understand that it's her weekend and I'm perfectly fine with her getting them bc it is her weekend. But if she's not going to utilize it then we'd like to make plans and book lodging bc where we would go books up fast. Anyways our 17 year old texted her today and asked if they were going to be with her for mother's day. Her response was "not that I know of." Not exactly a no. But kinda like a no? Would we be safe going ahead and making plans for that weekend based on that?

Thanks a bunch!

This year? I'd wait for the weekend before or after. Mom hasn't got much to begin with - don't give her even the chance of throwing it back in your face.

 

[dadinMS]

I can't quote from my phone so please bear with me.

As far as the mothers day thing I kinda figured the same as you. It sucks but it is what it is.

On a positive note, our son is now passing with flying colors.

Now for the part about her not utilizing her visitation....what would be the best way to present that? My initial thought was calendars but I can't necessarily pinpoint each and every instance of when she did or didn't. Most of the times the arrangements were made by email so it was easy to pin down those visits. But there were times that it was done by text that I don't have anymore or by phone. I just don't want to present inaccurate info in court and then her say I got them this time and this time and have proof that she did like photos with dates or something and make it look like I was trying to lie. Because I'm definitely not trying out lie. Would it be better to ask her in discovery to list the times she either had or missed her visits with the kids? I hope that makes sense.

 

[Proserpina]

I can't quote from my phone so please bear with me.

As far as the mothers day thing I kinda figured the same as you. It sucks but it is what it is.

On a positive note, our son is now passing with flying colors.

Now for the part about her not utilizing her visitation....what would be the best way to present that? My initial thought was calendars but I can't necessarily pinpoint each and every instance of when she did or didn't. Most of the times the arrangements were made by email so it was easy to pin down those visits. But there were times that it was done by text that I don't have anymore or by phone. I just don't want to present inaccurate info in court and then her say I got them this time and this time and have proof that she did like photos with dates or something and make it look like I was trying to lie. Because I'm definitely not trying out lie. Would it be better to ask her in discovery to list the times she either had or missed her visits with the kids? I hope that makes sense.

It's difficult to prove a negative, though how much that will matter I don't know. Logically, it should be up to Mom to prove you wrong...but I get the distinct feeling you're going to be the one under the spotlight.

(I'd rather it wasn't you - so we can hope, right?)

Stand by for others to respond, too.

This is my personal opinion, k? I've just re-read the post about things Mom is claiming are important. Now I realize this is a leading question but...IS SHE OUT OF HER MIND?! That amounts to little more than "My child is 13 and Dad let her watch Saw VIII". In other worse...nonsense.

 

[dadinMS]

To answer your question...yes she is out of her mind. But I'm far from.perfect so I won't throw stones. Lol. Glass houses and all that jazz.

My honest hope is that it will get dismissed for lack of change of circumstances right out of the gate. The only real fear I had was if our son failed this year that might be a change of circumstances. But he's worked hard with me and my wife and his tutor and is doing great.. so the rest of it is just crap in my opinion.

 

[Proserpina]

To answer your question...yes she is out of her mind. But I'm far from.perfect so I won't throw stones. Lol. Glass houses and all that jazz.

My honest hope is that it will get dismissed for lack of change of circumstances right out of the gate. The only real fear I had was if our son failed this year that might be a change of circumstances. But he's worked hard with me and my wife and his tutor and is doing great.. so the rest of it is just crap in my opinion.

I know, I know...you're being completely nice about this. I was snarky enough for the both of us.

If this does go in Mom's favor, you really need to come back and let us know.

(I hear padded rooms don't have any glass... )

 

[dadinMS]

Got served today....

Well I knew it was coming. I got served today. I'll leave out the non-important stuff but I'll type word for word what the petition says. Opinions please?

It starts off with the standard language blah blah blah and says that "The Petitioner (ex wife) is an adult resident citizen of My County, MS"....ummmm she lives in Texas 8 hours away and has for over 5 years. And has a TX driver's license. Do I just deny that in my answer? Then it goes on to say where I live (spelled wrong) and lists the kids.

Now onto the heart of it. This is all word for word, with my defense in bold under each point.

"Since the time of the agreed judgement modifying child support and visitation, material changes in circumstances have occurred which adversely affect the best interests of the minor children. Said material changes include the following:

a. SON is currently in jeopardy if failing the 3rd grade. He already failed the 2nd grade and Respondent (Me) does not help with any school work until it is too late in the evenings.
First of all, he's in 5th grade, not 3rd grade. But yes he is on the cusp of not passing, as previously discussed in this thread. Also, he didn't fail 2nd grade. He failed 1st grade. As far as not helping until late in the evening...my wife gets home from work anywhere between 2pm and 5 pm just depending on how many patients she has to see that day. She gets the kids started on homework and starts helping them, then starts cooking dinner. I get home from work at 7 pm and also help with any homework left to do.

b. SON and DAUGHTER are punished if the petiitioner's (ex wife) name is mentioned or if the children talk about visitations they have with the petitioner (ex wife.)
Completely untrue. I don't even know where this came from. They've never been punished for that.

c. SON and DAUGHTER are unable to talk on the phone or text message with the Petitioner without being monitored by their step-mother. Further the children are not allowed to discuss their home life with the petitioner (exwife) without threat of repercussions from the respondent (me) and their step-mother.
As I stated before, at one point there was a text monitoring app on my daughter's phone as she was 15 and had snuck out. But as far as when they talk to her, they do so in their bedrooms and most of the time I don't even know they talked to her. About 8 years ago they were being little parrots and literally repeating every word they heard in this house to their mom and yes they were told that some things weren't her business. Example they overheard my wife and I discussing finances and our income and went and told their mom. Not her business. There were no "threats" but they were told that not everything that is said and done in this house is their mom's business.

d. Further, the children aver that their step-mother has removed the petitioner's (ex wife) name and number from the chidren's phone so they are unable to contact her as well as removing the petitioner's name from the children's Facebook and listed herself as the children's mother.
Again a complete lie. My wife has never done either of these things. I just checked facebook and the kids don't have any familial relations listed.

e. SON is not supervised and is bought games like Grand Theft Auto that promotes stealing and beating up prostitutes. The game is recommended for teenagers 17 or older. He is also not supervised while watching Netflix or watching television. The children have stated the only time they are supervised is when they speak with the petitioner over the phone.
Yes, he has GTA. Yes he and I play it together. He is supervised while watching netflix and tv. But I can't watch him 24/7 so I'm sure there are times when he watches stuff he shouldn't. He's a curious kid. And I will admit I'm pretty lenient in this department. Is that going to cause me to lose custody?

f. The Children are not reasonably cared for while with the respondent (me). The children aver that they are not given haircuts or personal products on a regular basis.
I cut the boy's hair myself with clippers. Does it get a little shaggy sometimes? Yeah. So what? The 17 year old has a car and is given spending money. If she wants a haircut she can go get one.

g. DAUGHTER is not having her dental care she needs taken care of in the custody of the respondent (me).
I'm assuming this is in regards to her retainer. I got her braces. She had retainers. She lost the retainer at her mom's house last summer. During that time her front teeth grew back apart a bit in the 2 months here mom had them. Also during that time my wife, who provides the insurance for the family, changed employers and orthodontia is no longer covered at all. At this point daughter would need braces again and I can't afford it at this time.

h. SON and DAUGHTER aver that there is never any food in the house for them to eat. The petitioner has been told on several occasions there are only crackers to eat.
This one literally makes me LOL. Would receipts for about $1000 a month for food and pics of the full pantry, full fridge, and 2 full freezers refute this?

i. The children's step-mother is a bad influence for SON and DAUGHTER as she smokes in the presence of the children as well as brags that she only eats junk food.
Yes, my wife smokes. But never in the house or any vehicle. I smoke too outside so I'm not sure why she's singling out only my wife. Oh and my exwife smokes too. As far as the junk food thing...my wife is a nurse. She used to work nights on the floor at the hospital and used to joke that night shift floor nurses lived on coffee and junk food to get through the shift. It was a JOKE.

j. SON and DAUGHTER are not in a healthy environment while in the presence of the respondent (me) and stepmother as they fight in front of the children often. The children aver that respondent and their stepmother may take their fighting into their bedroom but they yell so loudly the children hear every word.
Have we had arguments during our 10 years of marriage? Yeah. Have the kids heard them? Probably. There has never been any violence. No cops called etc.

k. The children are afraid to drive with their step mother as she is constantly texting and driving. The children say she drives like a crazy person.
Untrue. As a matter of fact my wife is a home hospice nurse who drives 200+ miles per week for work. Her driving record is checked every 6 months. The most recent time it was pulled was last month. It is a 7 year report. In the last 7 years she has had 1 speeding ticket (kids not with her she was working) and zero accidents. She's never had an accident.

The petitioner avers that having SON and DAUGHTER in her paramount care would be in the best interests of the children for the following reasons:
1. The children would be able to attend a charter school right next to the Petitioner's place of employment.

2. SON would be able to have tutoring on a constant basis to help with any current curricular difficulties so he will not fall behind any longer and all school issues would be addressed immediately.

3. The school SON would attend has several different extra-curricular activities in which the child may participate. The school he attends now has activities. But the activities he wants to do aren't available until he gets to 6th grade.

4. The children would be exposed to fresh food on a daily basis. SON has also shown an interest in cooking with the petitioner and petitioner would allow him to explore that hobby further. All I can say to this is BAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Sorry. Is this valid?

5. The children will have less stress in the paramount care of the petitioner.

Then it repeats who the kids are and what their address is. Then says Wherefore premises considered, petitioner prays that this motion for modification be heard and that the court grant the relief sought herein as follows:
A. Awarding petitioner paramount care, custody and control of the minor children;

B. Awarding respondent reasonable visitation with the minor children;

C. Ordering the respondent to pay unto the petitioner a reasonable sum to be determined by the court pursuant to the guidelines as support for the minor children;

D. Ordering the respondent to pay petitioner's reasonable attonrey's fees and costs for bringing this motion

Whew! My fingers hurt. I know it's a lot but hopefully I've posted it in a way that is easy to read because I really want some advice and opinions here on how to respond to this. I would like to get an attorney but I just don't think it's going to be financially possible right now. So for the moment I want help as though I'm handling this thing byself til the end.

HELP PLEASE. I'm freaking out a little.

 

[ksh5670]

Enough to change custody?

I don't think I'll be able to afford an attorney so I'll have to represent myself. Looking for any advice I can find.

And rrevack as far as her not getting enough time....she's getting exactly what she asked for when she moved. 6 weeks in the summer, every other christmas, every other thanksgiving, every other spring break. And on the rare occasions she's in town she gets him. I'm willing to give up some of my summer and school break time so she can have more time with him. I'm NOT willing to agree to let him move 8 hours away.

There is no way she will get custody changed. First of all there has to be a SIGNIFICANT Change in Circumstance that warrants change of custody. And unless you are abusive or neglectful, it's very difficult to prove. I am going thru this right now with my ex. He is abusive (emotionally) to my kids and in contempt of court, and still my attorney doubts I can change custody because of the length of time they have been with him. I live out of state. They will not let her request custody if she lives out of state. That is seriously uprooting his stability. Been there. Done that. Relax. You won't need an attorney. You hired a tutor, and that is in your favor. You can offer to take him to counseling if necessary, the judges look for that type of resolution before they look to the parent who wants to just move them away from the parent who has been most present in their life.

 

[Proserpina]

Well I knew it was coming. I got served today.

Let's take a look!

It starts off with the standard language blah blah blah and says that "The Petitioner (ex wife) is an adult resident citizen of My County, MS"....ummmm she lives in Texas 8 hours away and has for over 5 years. And has a TX driver's license. Do I just deny that in my answer? Then it goes on to say where I live (spelled wrong) and lists the kids.

Inform them, yep.

Now onto the heart of it. This is all word for word, with my defense in bold under each point.

"Since the time of the agreed judgement modifying child support and visitation, material changes in circumstances have occurred which adversely affect the best interests of the minor children. Said material changes include the following:

a. SON is currently in jeopardy if failing the 3rd grade. He already failed the 2nd grade and Respondent (Me) does not help with any school work until it is too late in the evenings.
First of all, he's in 5th grade, not 3rd grade. But yes he is on the cusp of not passing, as previously discussed in this thread. Also, he didn't fail 2nd grade. He failed 1st grade. As far as not helping until late in the evening...my wife gets home from work anywhere between 2pm and 5 pm just depending on how many patients she has to see that day. She gets the kids started on homework and starts helping them, then starts cooking dinner. I get home from work at 7 pm and also help with any homework left to do.

Has he been tested for learning disabilities?

b. SON and DAUGHTER are punished if the petiitioner's (ex wife) name is mentioned or if the children talk about visitations they have with the petitioner (ex wife.)
Completely untrue. I don't even know where this came from. They've never been punished for that.

Easy one to allege, difficult to prove (or disprove).

c. SON and DAUGHTER are unable to talk on the phone or text message with the Petitioner without being monitored by their step-mother. Further the children are not allowed to discuss their home life with the petitioner (exwife) without threat of repercussions from the respondent (me) and their step-mother.
As I stated before, at one point there was a text monitoring app on my daughter's phone as she was 15 and had snuck out. But as far as when they talk to her, they do so in their bedrooms and most of the time I don't even know they talked to her. About 8 years ago they were being little parrots and literally repeating every word they heard in this house to their mom and yes they were told that some things weren't her business. Example they overheard my wife and I discussing finances and our income and went and told their mom. Not her business. There were no "threats" but they were told that not everything that is said and done in this house is their mom's business.

Trivial.

d. Further, the children aver that their step-mother has removed the petitioner's (ex wife) name and number from the chidren's phone so they are unable to contact her as well as removing the petitioner's name from the children's Facebook and listed herself as the children's mother.
Again a complete lie. My wife has never done either of these things. I just checked facebook and the kids don't have any familial relations listed.

Oh come ON. This one is pathetic. ^^^

e. SON is not supervised and is bought games like Grand Theft Auto that promotes stealing and beating up prostitutes. The game is recommended for teenagers 17 or older. He is also not supervised while watching Netflix or watching television. The children have stated the only time they are supervised is when they speak with the petitioner over the phone.
Yes, he has GTA. Yes he and I play it together. He is supervised while watching netflix and tv. But I can't watch him 24/7 so I'm sure there are times when he watches stuff he shouldn't. He's a curious kid. And I will admit I'm pretty lenient in this department. Is that going to cause me to lose custody?

I see where she's going with this unfortunately.

f. The Children are not reasonably cared for while with the respondent (me). The children aver that they are not given haircuts or personal products on a regular basis.
I cut the boy's hair myself with clippers. Does it get a little shaggy sometimes? Yeah. So what? The 17 year old has a car and is given spending money. If she wants a haircut she can go get one.

Twaddle. Complete twaddle.

g. DAUGHTER is not having her dental care she needs taken care of in the custody of the respondent (me).
I'm assuming this is in regards to her retainer. I got her braces. She had retainers. She lost the retainer at her mom's house last summer. During that time her front teeth grew back apart a bit in the 2 months here mom had them. Also during that time my wife, who provides the insurance for the family, changed employers and orthodontia is no longer covered at all. At this point daughter would need braces again and I can't afford it at this time.

So...it's while she was with Mom that this happened? That's not really in Mom's favor...

h. SON and DAUGHTER aver that there is never any food in the house for them to eat. The petitioner has been told on several occasions there are only crackers to eat.
This one literally makes me LOL. Would receipts for about $1000 a month for food and pics of the full pantry, full fridge, and 2 full freezers refute this?

Tell me, how many times has Mom requested a welfare check on these starving mites? She hasn't, has she?

i. The children's step-mother is a bad influence for SON and DAUGHTER as she smokes in the presence of the children as well as brags that she only eats junk food.
Yes, my wife smokes. But never in the house or any vehicle. I smoke too outside so I'm not sure why she's singling out only my wife. Oh and my exwife smokes too. As far as the junk food thing...my wife is a nurse. She used to work nights on the floor at the hospital and used to joke that night shift floor nurses lived on coffee and junk food to get through the shift. It was a JOKE.

So lemme get this straight - Mom smokes, you and Stepmom smoke...but it's only okay when Mom has the kids?

j. SON and DAUGHTER are not in a healthy environment while in the presence of the respondent (me) and stepmother as they fight in front of the children often. The children aver that respondent and their stepmother may take their fighting into their bedroom but they yell so loudly the children hear every word.
Have we had arguments during our 10 years of marriage? Yeah. Have the kids heard them? Probably. There has never been any violence. No cops called etc.

Of course you have arguments. I'd be more worried if you didn't, actually.

k. The children are afraid to drive with their step mother as she is constantly texting and driving. The children say she drives like a crazy person.
Untrue. As a matter of fact my wife is a home hospice nurse who drives 200+ miles per week for work. Her driving record is checked every 6 months. The most recent time it was pulled was last month. It is a 7 year report. In the last 7 years she has had 1 speeding ticket (kids not with her she was working) and zero accidents. She's never had an accident.

At this point Dad, I'm not sure whether to slap her myself or let the judge do it. But let's see what else is coming.

The petitioner avers that having SON and DAUGHTER in her paramount care would be in the best interests of the children for the following reasons:
1. The children would be able to attend a charter school right next to the Petitioner's place of employment.

And if Mom moves? She's going to have to do better than that.

2. SON would be able to have tutoring on a constant basis to help with any current curricular difficulties so he will not fall behind any longer and all school issues would be addressed immediately.

Those difficulties DO need to be addressed.

3. The school SON would attend has several different extra-curricular activities in which the child may participate. The school he attends now has activities. But the activities he wants to do aren't available until he gets to 6th grade.

And when he decides that he liked his other school better...? What's Mom going to do?

4. The children would be exposed to fresh food on a daily basis. SON has also shown an interest in cooking with the petitioner and petitioner would allow him to explore that hobby further. All I can say to this is BAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Sorry. Is this valid?

You. Have. Got. To. Be. Kidding. Me.

Wave a banana at him every morning. That should satisfy the "exposing" part, yeah?

5. The children will have less stress in the paramount care of the petitioner.

Right.

The ONLY issue I can see is with your son's grades. But him almost failing is not all there is to it. Have his grades suddenly dropped? No? Over what period of time? Can you provide tutoring yourself?

The rest of it? Unless your judge is a few syllables short of an imbecile, this is NOT going to work for Mom. And nor should it. I will concede that to some people there might be just enough piddly little things to make a judge roll his eyes and let Mom have a shot at custody. But all else being equal, I cannot see any reasonable person switching custody.

Standby for others too.

 

[dadinMS]

I really hope you're right, ksh5670.

Our daughter is 17. She will be finishing her junior year next month and start senior year in august. She'll turn 18 in Sept.

Son is 11 and will turn 12 in june.

Mom has talked to the kids about this so they know she was planning to do this.

Daughter does not want to move and told me that she will tell the judge that if she needs to.

Son wants to move because "he is curious about living with his mom and thinks it would be fun." His words.

Would a judge be likely to split them up and give her custody of our son and have me keep custody of our daughter? I don't want the kids split up.