domestic situation involving newborn

[helen7]

I cannot believe some of the discussions I am reading on this post! Her priorities are of her child. This issue goes much deeper than a dog. Sounds like this man is a control freak with anger issues. He needs to grow up and obviously cannot take care of his DOG....how do you think he will ever take care of his child? I have been in a marriage with a man like this, and eventually turned into physical, and mental abuse. I finally wised up and got out. You need to stop it now before it gets any worse. A man should respect your wishes no matter what the request and at the very least, be willing to meet you halfway. He is not willing to do that. You need to have him removed from your home, get custody issues dealt with in court, and move on with you life. Trust me....a man like this will only hurt you AND your child.
Best of Luck!

 

[scarabear21]

I love animals but my child is my number one concern. If anyone has anything helpful to contribute besides lynching me for wanting the dog outside it is much appreciated

 

[stealth2]

Well, I was gonna chew you out for opting to house your own dog outside instead of like, I dunno, training the beast to not chew ('cause you know that can be done, right?). But you don't want to hear it.

 

[scarabear21]

when I got my dog I was working 60 hours a week at a place that was one hour away and living alone I never could even get her housebroken but she has a house of her own with hay to lie on and a space heater for the winter and a fan for the summer, she is loved and well taken care of.

 

[stealth2]

when I got my dog I was working 60 hours a week at a place that was one hour away and living alone I never could even get her housebroken but she has a house of her own with hay to lie on and a space heater for the winter and a fan for the summer, she is loved and well taken care of.

Poor dog. Sorry, but someone who was working those kinds of hours should not have taken on that responsibility. If you can't be bothered to housebreak it - don't get it. It's that simple.

BTW - toilet training takes some work, too.

 

[Let the DJ try]

I Love My Dog

I love my dog as much as I love you
But you may fade, my dog will always come through.

All he asks from me is the food to give him strength
All he ever needs is love and that he knows he'll get

So, I love my dog as much as I love you
But you may fade, my dog will always come through.

All the pay I need comes shining through his eyes
I don't need no cold water to make me realize that

I love my dog as much as I love you
But you may fade, my dog will always come through.

Na, na, na, na, na, na, nana...

I love my dog as much as I love you
But you may fade, my dog will always come through.

Na, na, na, na, na, na, nana...

I love my dog, Baby, I love my dog. Na, na, na...
I love my dog, Baby, I love my dog. Na, na, na...


Cat Stevens

 

[nextwife]

Poor dog. Sorry, but someone who was working those kinds of hours should not have taken on that responsibility. If you can't be bothered to housebreak it - don't get it. It's that simple.

Amen, Stealth. Good grief.

What are some people thinking when they take on a dog? If you are not prepared to do right by it, don't get it - let it go to the home of someone who is! If you "love" your dog you would not want it to suffer like that. Dogs are SOCIAL creatures- pack animals. They NEED socialization with their "pack".

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Amen, Stealth. Good grief.

What are some people thinking when they take on a dog? If you are not prepared to do right by it, don't get it - let it go to the home of someone who is! If you "love" your dog you would not want it to suffer like that. Dogs are SOCIAL creatures- pack animals. They NEED socialization with their "pack".

Well we know who doesn't play well with others! Or take responsibility for her actions and now they want to be the only caretaker for their new toy, I mean new baby?

 

[scarabear21]

You know what you all are immature and petty. I worked those hours because I had to. Thats right some of us aren't overly fortunate and have to work to pay the bills. My dog was a gift and she is well loved and cared for, I was just unable to give the time to train her so that I could provide her with food and warmth but if you ever met my dog she would run to you and lick you to death because she loves everyone and as far as my child goes I love him more than life itself and if it takes it I will care for him alone but I hope his father will be just that and then we will both care for him. Also I am only going to return to work part time because being a mom is far more important. I just can't believe the attitudes some of you have, you don't even know me or my capacity for being a caretaker and until you do I would appreciate your not commenting on my character. Let he who is without sin cast the first stone, I come to you for help and you spit in my face what if your child or your parent was in this situation what advice would you give then or are you just so cold you would put them down as well.

 

[AHA]

What is the name of your state?North Carolina.
I am buying my own home and my boyfriend moved in with me last February to "help me with my bills", we have a child that was born 2/19/05, he is now 17 days old. I made the choice to breastfeed my son and he was having difficulty latching on but from the advice of a lactation expert and his doctor I was not feeding him by bottle in order not to cause nipple confusion. My son became fussy at feedings and his father could not handle this therefore he began yelling at me to give my son a bottle and it upset my son very much. To remedy the situation my son and I went to stay with my father so that while he was adjusting to breastfeeding his father would not upset the situation further. Upon leaving my son at the time 7 days old had flea bites from my boyfriends dog. I asked my boyfriend to have the dog outside by February 1st so my son would not get bitten by fleas and choke on the dogs hair. His father did not and so when he called me to ask me to come home I told him that when he put his dog outside we would come home. He refused and I asked him to leave. He says I have to give him 30 days to leave and I will go to jail if I have the humane society come get his dog out of my house. He has never paid one single bill in my house. Of course I can not prove this except for the fact that before my short term disability started I was 2 months behind on my house payment and my car payment something I had never been before. He also says he can take my son from me. He was told that if he wanted to see his son he could come everyday and see him, my father only lives 10 minutes from my house, but he has not come once, I have taken my son 3 times to see his father who says he can not come because his car is uninsured, the inspection is out of date, the tag expired and the brake lights don't work but he has driven this car daily to work 20+ minutes away and goes to the store for beer daily. The last time I went by my house to get more clothes for my son I found rolling papers and a smoke pipe in my home also when he knows I will not tolerate these things in my home. Last May his then 11 year old nephew accused him of giving him marijuana and I then told him I have no tolerance for drugs and will not have them in my home. He also has a history of CDV against his ex-wife. What can I do?

So give the dog a bath, keep the baby away from it (you are not even staying the same house right now anyway are you, so staying away from each other should be easy) and wait out the 30 days( I am assuming you gave him the 30 days notice in writing, for legal proof) and then boot the guy's and the dog's @sses out on the street. What's the problem?

 

[Grace_Adler]

Well first of all, I think all the stuff on here going into such detail about the dog is kind of silly and besides the point. JMO And I don't see the big deal about her agreeing to taking care of it temporarily. There was an agreement made that the dog would be gone at a certain time. I don't see the difference in agreeing to let a relative stay temporarily and a dog. But you know, it is all OPINION anyway. Damn, sounds like everyone cares more about the dog than the kid anyway. Hardly any advice has even been given about that.

Oh and as for keeping a dog inside all the time, well that is just an opinion. If people came down here and saw that most people do keep their dogs outside 90% of the time, everyone would flip out. Hunters especially keep their dogs out year round. And hell, we don't even have an SPCA in my county and they don't care anyway in the other counties, it's not a big deal here as long as the animal is not abused and is being taken care of. And we are talking about NC, so this is relevant.

Anyway, go to the hardware store and get yourself some 7 dust. I promise the fleas will disappear. I had sand fleas once (no pets) and they were awful but it got rid of them. You might want to treat the yard too.

If you want the dog gone, take the dog right down to where he is staying and give it to your boyfriend or his father.

As for eviction. Pheonix is right. If he isn't on the lease, you can kick him out. If he gives you any trouble, call the cops.

If he IS on the lease, it's going to be harder. Then that's going to be up to the landlord unless abuse is going on or something. But if he is on the lease, and he stays gone for a long time.. not sure how long and not paying rent, then it may be possible to get him off the lease. That may be up to the landlord tho.

As for your child. Just want to clarify, he didn't sign the birth certificate, he signed an Affadavit of Parentage but either way, it means he still legally acknowledged the child is his and he now has legal rights to the child and is also responsible for the child financially.

Yes, he can take your child if he wants and there won't be anything you can do except go to court and fight it out. So, I suggest until then, you let him have supervised visits when he wants to visit until you can get a court order for custody, visitation and support.

You have a couple of options..

1. Go to CSE and file for support. Then go to a family law attorney and file for a custody and visitation court order. If you do it this way, if he fails to pay support, CSE will go after him for you.

2. Go to a family law attorney and file for a support, visitation and custody order. If you do it this way, if he fails to pay support, you will have to keep going after him yourself or have an attorney do it.

Hope that helps.

 

[scarabear21]

Yes finally someone is seeing the big picture, thank you for you help

 

[Grace_Adler]

No problem. LOL Good luck and I hope all of you are able to work things out somehow.

Oh, you can file for the support, custody and visitation orders yourself but that can be messy and difficult. I would at least get a consultation with an attorney first.

You can call the bar association referral at 1-800-662-7660. They can give you the name of a family law attorney in your area, if there is one that is registered with them for the referrals. If there is, they will refer you to one and the maximum cost for the consultaion will be $30 or $35. You can also call around, maybe you'll get lucky and find one who will do it for free. I am going to warn you though, the cost for filing for custody, visitation and support starts around $2000-$3000 and goes up from there depending on what's involved and the attorney. At least that's what most charge in Eastern NC.

These links might be helpful too.

http://www.ncchildsupport.com/

http://www.dhhs.state.nc.us/dss/cse/index.htm

http://www.ncga.state.nc.us/gascripts/Statutes/StatutesTOC.pl

 

[CJane]

I aree. MIssed that statement! Whats up with that?

My friend had a border colllie mix when they had their baby - plenty of dog hair, and I never saw "seizable" wads of fur in the environment. I agree- a dog fur choking risk is not due to the dog, it's due to those who are failing to vaccuum often enough!

Heh. We had a german shepard, a greyhound, and a terrier cross, as well as 2 cats in the house when my kids were born. We never had fleas in the house, and my kids certainly never 'choked on hair'. It's called a vacuum, people!

Question: Why is it that people choose to have children with someone, knowing that, if nothing else, the child is going to connect them for LIFE, and then decide they don't want the other parent around?

Oh, and this is the warning that's pretty standard on Sevin Dust, since another poster suggested the product.

PRECAUTIONS: KEEP OUT OF REACH OF CHILDREN. Avoid inhalation and skin contact. Wash hands after use and before eating and drinking. Avoid contamination of feed and food.

ENVIRONMENTAL HAZARDS: This product is highly toxic to bees. Do not use where bees are foraging.

FIRST AID:
IF SWALLOWED, induce vomiting. To do so give 2 glasses of warm water to drink and insert finger or blunt object into mouth and touch back of victim's throat. Contact a doctor or poison control centre at once. Never give anything by mouth to an unconscious person.
IF IN EYES, flush with water for 15 minutes and get medical attention.
IF ON SKIN, wash with soap and water.
IF INHALED, seek medical attention at a hospital.
Take container, label or product name and Pest Control Product Registration Number with you when seeking medical attention.

Not something I'd consider safer than a little dog hair.

 

[stealth2]

Oh man, I didn't connect "7 dust" with SEVIN! I would NOT use it around an infant/toddler/small child.