FLA I need legal advice but I need support from other fathers also.

[Just Blue]

She had violated our court order by refusing my parenting time she didn't bring him on that friday and never called and ended up not bringing him for the whole weekend. She did that 7 times. He did not hold her in contempt for that but instead give me an extra day permanently saying that we had agreed on that as a modification which she did not shes never agreed to anything in court except for me to have supervised visitation which I did for 6 months because I didn't know what I was doing and had agreed to it then when I asked for every weekend the judge went from one hour a month supervised visits to every weekend in one status hearing I had requested that was the best day of my life. I take everything very seriously my sons mother is the opposite she doesn't take it serious but she doesn't live a happy life either she always looks upset whenever someone talks to me about her it is something about how mad she looks at all times. I have tried and tried for us to work things out outside of court she wouldn't do it and after 4 years she now seems like she wants to try and keep things out of court but we still don't agree she just wants things to stay the things (I think it's because she is realizing that the things she is doing are wrong) One recent thing is her refusing to give me the asthma inhaler and allergy pills. I don't mind going back to court now because I think me promising to keep her informed of school and putting her down as an emergency contact and doing these things quickly If he was supposed to start his new school on the 5th I would have him in on the 4th I can promise these things at all costs. I'm a college student and I work a job 3 days a week and I also own my own company (it's a small company that I use when I'm not working to get me by on my bills). I think he is better off with me either way I REALLY think he is better off with both of us the same but with me being responsible for school and doctor decisions. I won't keep her in the dark about everything. That is my big reason forget the drugs and assault from her and her boyfriend. I am planning on using this for court now. I will keep her informed and do these same things she is doing but not a month later I will do them right then. Is it a big deal for a father to get not physical custody whats the other type? I can promise you this here and now. If I was court ordered to keep my son from his mother *I would not!* I know how it feels I never got to spend much time with my father and recently got in contact with him again and had a good time speaking with him he loved me I could feel it. I was going to bring my son to see him after I got permission from the courts to leave the state with my son. My step mother died a month ago and then my father died last week.

Paragraphs are your friend.

 

[djmastr111]

This is about the school thing again

The school board of this county said that they want him in there school for these special needs classes. They think he is mentally exceptional in some way. My sons mother won't tell me everything but the school told me most of the deal. The school board removed him from head start to take him into a real school to get him caught up. This is the same school board that controlls all of the schools in my county in Florida. That is a big deal I had a meeting with them there were 8 people asking me questions about him and his mother. A doctor, physichiatrist, counselors and the school board supervisor and I don't even know it was pretty serious with 8 people asking questions about my son it was scary because it seemed like an interrogation by the FBI or something. I do have anxiety problems and just found out I have ADHD. They made headstart drop him so that she would have to put him into the school. Maybe he doesn't have to go but if he does not he will still be hitting other students and cussing and still not know what he needs to know to start kindergarden. I don't know how to work with him he won't sit down long enough to watch a cartoon. The only thing I can do to get him to sit down is give him the laptop and put on angry birds or modern warfare 3. If you don't think the court will side with me that he needs this help what can I do to try and convince them? I have his test scores which were all below every other student but the funny thing is that everyone notices about my son is that he remembers EVERYTHING I he knows every childs first and last name which isn't that big of a deal the big deal to me is that he knows their parents names. He knows the cars that those kids and parents go into. He remembered a little girls name that we hadent seen for a year and I didn't even remember her name. He knows his numbers but refuses to recite them when asked which is why I think he scores low but they say that the evaluators know these things and don't mark off for that I don't even know how to explain this. What is wrong with me? Does it seem to you too that I'm more worried here about defending what I believe than to move forward?

 

[djmastr111]

I am sorry I am typing too fast. This is a very tough subject for me.

I am scared that I'm not doing a good enough job as a parent to guarantee I will not lose time with my son when I go to court for this modification I had filed. I decided to file it after he was supposed to start this new school and had not yet started.
This is on top of 3 contempts for refusing me my time on my weekends without letting me know and refusing to tell me where his school was and not sending his asthma inhaler with him when he is with me. I did take him to the doctor to get a 2nd inhaler for my house she picked it up first and won't send it now. She also got mad at me for bringing him to the doctors in the first place.

 

[Just Blue]

This is about the school thing again

The school board of this county said that they want him in there school for these special needs classes. They think he is mentally exceptional in some way. My sons mother won't tell me everything but the school told me most of the deal. The school board removed him from head start to take him into a real school to get him caught up. This is the same school board that controlls all of the schools in my county in Florida. That is a big deal I had a meeting with them there were 8 people asking me questions about him and his mother. A doctor, physichiatrist, counselors and the school board supervisor and I don't even know it was pretty serious with 8 people asking questions about my son it was scary because it seemed like an interrogation by the FBI or something. I do have anxiety problems and just found out I have ADHD. They made headstart drop him so that she would have to put him into the school. Maybe he doesn't have to go but if he does not he will still be hitting other students and cussing and still not know what he needs to know to start kindergarden. I don't know how to work with him he won't sit down long enough to watch a cartoon. The only thing I can do to get him to sit down is give him the laptop and put on angry birds or modern warfare 3. If you don't think the court will side with me that he needs this help what can I do to try and convince them? I have his test scores which were all below every other student but the funny thing is that everyone notices about my son is that he remembers EVERYTHING I he knows every childs first and last name which isn't that big of a deal the big deal to me is that he knows their parents names. He knows the cars that those kids and parents go into. He remembered a little girls name that we hadent seen for a year and I didn't even remember her name. He knows his numbers but refuses to recite them when asked which is why I think he scores low but they say that the evaluators know these things and don't mark off for that I don't even know how to explain this. What is wrong with me? Does it seem to you too that I'm more worried here about defending what I believe than to move forward?

sigh....

Block-o-text is difficult to read.

Please utilize the space bar and paragraphs.

Thanks!!

 

[Ohiogal]

This is about the school thing again

The school board of this county said that they want him in there school for these special needs classes. They think he is mentally exceptional in some way. My sons mother won't tell me everything but the school told me most of the deal. The school board removed him from head start to take him into a real school to get him caught up. This is the same school board that controlls all of the schools in my county in Florida. That is a big deal I had a meeting with them there were 8 people asking me questions about him and his mother. A doctor, physichiatrist, counselors and the school board supervisor and I don't even know it was pretty serious with 8 people asking questions about my son it was scary because it seemed like an interrogation by the FBI or something. I do have anxiety problems and just found out I have ADHD. They made headstart drop him so that she would have to put him into the school. Maybe he doesn't have to go but if he does not he will still be hitting other students and cussing and still not know what he needs to know to start kindergarden. I don't know how to work with him he won't sit down long enough to watch a cartoon. The only thing I can do to get him to sit down is give him the laptop and put on angry birds or modern warfare 3. If you don't think the court will side with me that he needs this help what can I do to try and convince them? I have his test scores which were all below every other student but the funny thing is that everyone notices about my son is that he remembers EVERYTHING I he knows every childs first and last name which isn't that big of a deal the big deal to me is that he knows their parents names. He knows the cars that those kids and parents go into. He remembered a little girls name that we hadent seen for a year and I didn't even remember her name. He knows his numbers but refuses to recite them when asked which is why I think he scores low but they say that the evaluators know these things and don't mark off for that I don't even know how to explain this. What is wrong with me? Does it seem to you too that I'm more worried here about defending what I believe than to move forward?

Cool. But he is FOUR. He is not required to be in school at all. NOT enrolling him in something -- parenting difference. YOu can try to get a court order to enroll him but it is NOT required and NOT a sign that mom is unfit.

 

[djmastr111]

I don't want to prove mom unfit. I want my son to be ready for kindergarden. I want my son to like going to school.
I don't want my son hitting other students anymore.

I don't want my son swearing anymore. His mother and her boyfriend don't want him to start because they don't want other people in their business.

Before my son started comming to my house on weekends he was terrified of everything. He never left the home. He never went outside. He was 2 and could barely walk. He did not talk. He started to talk and learn about these things he was scared of almost immediately. I don't know if I'm looking for legal help. I think I just want someone to tell me I'm not wrong for feeling how I feel.

Is all joint custody this hard? The head start teacher told me they will now take my side since she refused to get him started in school. She will write me a letter to the courts saying her boyfriend was comming to the school making threats and talking bad about me in front of our son. I didn't want details. I had asked for a neutral letter. I wanted the courts to know the real deal both parents pros and cons.

 

[djmastr111]

I see it now it's a bunch of moms teaming up on the dad lol I'm just kidding. I am not able to see this from your side. I'm a worker I like to work fast. If things are not moving fast I'm not satisfied. Just like it takes 3 months to get into court that is too slow for me it should be within the week just like my old judge used to do for me.
I would file with the judges assistant and he would have me in within the next 2 weeks. We were there for 10 minutes and problem solved. This new judge well old criminal case judge is just wanting to do hearings one day a month and get 100 hearings done and go home. The old judge cared about feelings he let us talk and had always took care of us as soon as possible.
I wanted (I will refer to my son as J from now on if that is alright) J to be ahead. I don't want him to be like me. I want him to do better than just getting by in school. I think that him getting straight A's is very possible if I teach him to like learning. I got straight d's in high school near the end and now in college it's all A's. I think it is because I now like to learn. I think I can teach him to like to learn.
And for the backgrounds for my friends no I don't hang with criminals anymore because I have been in trouble before and am worried that I might get those same feelings to do wrong again if I hang out with people who still do those things. I have five friends my best friend his girlfriend and their children. Other than them I hang with J.

 

[CJane]

You've been clean for 3 years? Your son is 4? What is YOUR history?

 

[Just Blue]

I see it now it's a bunch of moms teaming up on the dad lol I'm just kidding. I am not able to see this from your side. I'm a worker I like to work fast. If things are not moving fast I'm not satisfied. Just like it takes 3 months to get into court that is too slow for me it should be within the week just like my old judge used to do for me.
I would file with the judges assistant and he would have me in within the next 2 weeks. We were there for 10 minutes and problem solved. This new judge well old criminal case judge is just wanting to do hearings one day a month and get 100 hearings done and go home. The old judge cared about feelings he let us talk and had always took care of us as soon as possible.
I wanted (I will refer to my son as J from now on if that is alright) J to be ahead. I don't want him to be like me. I want him to do better than just getting by in school. I think that him getting straight A's is very possible if I teach him to like learning. I got straight d's in high school near the end and now in college it's all A's. I think it is because I now like to learn. I think I can teach him to like to learn.
And for the backgrounds for my friends no I don't hang with criminals anymore because I have been in trouble before and am worried that I might get those same feelings to do wrong again if I hang out with people who still do those things. I have five friends my best friend his girlfriend and their children. Other than them I hang with J.

Allrighty then.

 

[djmastr111]

Why the sad face? I really need this. I need to talk about this I don't have anyone who understands what I'm going through to talk to. Please don't leave. You have heard a lot of what I have to say. Can you tell me what you would do? Is me going to court for the modification a bad idea? It's hard to leave it alone I want my son in school.

 

[Isis1]

Why the sad face? I really need this. I need to talk about this I don't have anyone who understands what I'm going through to talk to. Please don't leave. You have heard a lot of what I have to say. Can you tell me what you would do? Is me going to court for the modification a bad idea? It's hard to leave it alone I want my son in school.

you need to relax. seriously. let us help you with the legal situation.

i have a few errands to run. i'll be back and read through, think it over and respond.

now, i would like you to step away from the computer and relax. we will not solve this problem overnight. and the more anxious you get about it, the less likely you are to be clear headed okay?

 

[djmastr111]

My history is this. I was the bad guy. Very bad terrible person. I hated myself and my life. I was about to have a baby and I was 18 I was terrified. I did a lot of drugs. My ex gave me money for drugs. I don't know why she did she said she hated it. My ex used to help me find houses to rob. My ex knew everything I did. I went to jail and got out she was with someone else in bed at 2am when I came home 3 weeks later. We broke up and got together again a month before our son was born.
I was there when my son was born and we lived in the ghetto. I moved us out of there and into a nice home. I supported all of us for the first 4 months and lost my job went to jail for stealing and stayed there for 7 months. My ex stayed with me about half way through it all. She met this guy and moved in with him I told her I hated her.
I got out of jail but this time instead of begging her to come back I went to rehab and got some help. I started fighting for visitation rights when he was a year and a half old. I started out with one hour a month supervised then a few months later went back and got every weekend overnights with joint decision making.
I was the worst person in the world. I did a lot of bad things. I feel now that I owe the whole world and I do something to help another person every day. I feel that I owe my son 2 years of extra time that I lost while I was going to rehab and jail and so I spend every second possible with him which is why I work 3 days a week and on those same days go to college. The other 4 days in the week my son is with me so I don't work we just hang out at the park most of the weekends. We go to the park at least once a day but usually an hour at a time 3 times a day.
I hear it all of time from a lot of people how much I've turned my life around. I don't need to hear it though not that I see it but because if I mess up I don't want to disappoint. I have issues now with abandonment, anxiety and other things but nobody knows except my doctor who says I've improved a lot in the last 2 years. My doctor has met my son and says he could tell from the minute he saw my son that something is wrong and gave me the name of a child neurological doctor.
I am scared to take my son to that doctor because his mother yells at me every time I take him to a doctor or hospital. I shouldn't have to feel that way I should be able to comfortably take my son anywhere. If there is nothing wrong with my son then his mother should say "go ahead take him so that the doctor can tell you how stupid you are for thinking *such and such* is wrong with him". But her boyfriend is on disability and knows the system. I want if anything to get them to diagnose him with whatever is wrong so we can get him help but with a possible diagnosis that wont allow for disability checks because I don't want his mother to fight for him only for the money which is what is seems to me has been the problem the whole time here.

 

[DownTime]

Mom's boyfriend is a legal stranger in the situation. Legally, all he does wrong matters not. All he does right, matters not.

So let's try again without the interferance of a legal stranger who is not a party to this case, and see what we come up with?

 

[djmastr111]

That was one thing I wanted to try and figure out in court. He cusses at me in front of our son. The court order says neither parent shall speak badly about the other parent or allow anyone else to do so in the presence of the child. I was thinking of asking the court to order that this man mind his own business in some way.

Besides that when her boyfriend isn't involved (which is not very often) she is somewhat reasonable.

 

[gr8rn]

My history is this. I was the bad guy. Very bad terrible person. I hated myself and my life.
I was the worst person in the world. I did a lot of bad things.e.

I find it quite interesting that you admit to all these horrible things, robbery, drugs, going to jail, all this is RECENT, and you copy and paste this old guys record of, not wearing his seatbelt, and criminal charges from 20+ years ago!!! You put his name on a public forum and trash HIM by name, and you hide behind your anonymous username!

Pot, meet kettle. And all that.