Help to do this correctly

[mommyanme]

Update

All right I'm going to do a modification and file it hopefully after work tomorrow or first thing Monday.

It's dad's visitation weekend from 8:30am tomorrow morning till Monday at 8:30

Told dad baby had been running a temp of 100 at daycare but I didn't get off work in time to take him to the doctor tonight and he had an appt at 845 am and he needed to take him to be seen, my exact words copied from text.

Dad would not answer if he would or would not take baby, instead he gives me this bit about I will not demand him to do anything and I needed to ask him in this manner and to see if he had appointments before I made the baby one. I asked 4 times and 1 time I got you ask me like "this and this" you talk to me like "this and this" another answer was "I didn't say if I was or wasn't" another answer was (So and so) can't take him to the doctor because she's not the legal parent and the final answer was "you won't demand I do anything, if it's not in the court order I don't have to do it". I told him we can modify that problem, he states Judge said there's be no more changes to the order.
Now it's I'll have the sheriff's department with me to pick him up, because I told him that baby was going to the doctor and he would be at the office at the appt time and he could pick him up after they see him or be at the appointment. Either way he needed to be seen cause he sounds like he did the first case of RSV and Broncholitis

So my question is, I do have grounds to request a modification based on everything including tonight's episode right? But I don't really know what to ask for the judge to do. I don't want to take his visits but he's easily showing the baby is his pawn and his way to keep turmoil going. I want to ask for sole medical authority and the ability to keep him home when a doctor says he is sick and give dad make up visits. I don't know how to word it, I do know the baby's best interests is for this to stop.

 

[mistoffolees]

All right I'm going to do a modification and file it hopefully after work tomorrow or first thing Monday.

It's dad's visitation weekend from 8:30am tomorrow morning till Monday at 8:30

Told dad baby had been running a temp of 100 at daycare but I didn't get off work in time to take him to the doctor tonight and he had an appt at 845 am and he needed to take him to be seen, my exact words copied from text.

Dad would not answer if he would or would not take baby, instead he gives me this bit about I will not demand him to do anything and I needed to ask him in this manner and to see if he had appointments before I made the baby one. I asked 4 times and 1 time I got you ask me like "this and this" you talk to me like "this and this" another answer was "I didn't say if I was or wasn't" another answer was (So and so) can't take him to the doctor because she's not the legal parent and the final answer was "you won't demand I do anything, if it's not in the court order I don't have to do it". I told him we can modify that problem, he states Judge said there's be no more changes to the order.
Now it's I'll have the sheriff's department with me to pick him up, because I told him that baby was going to the doctor and he would be at the office at the appt time and he could pick him up after they see him or be at the appointment. Either way he needed to be seen cause he sounds like he did the first case of RSV and Broncholitis

So my question is, I do have grounds to request a modification based on everything including tonight's episode right? But I don't really know what to ask for the judge to do. I don't want to take his visits but he's easily showing the baby is his pawn and his way to keep turmoil going. I want to ask for sole medical authority and the ability to keep him home when a doctor says he is sick and give dad make up visits. I don't know how to word it, I do know the baby's best interests is for this to stop.

OK, Mom, you need to chill out. You sound like someone who's going to panic over every little thing - and then try to attack your ex for every little thing.

A temperature of 100 isn't something to panic over. In fact, in my house, we don't even take little Mist to the doctor unless she's over about 102 (depends on how she's feeling and acting). If you keep interfering with Dad's parenting time (and by any reasonable standard, a temperature of 100 is not a sufficient emergency to justify it), you could lose custody entirely.

Back off. A lot.

 

[Proserpina]

OK, Mom, you need to chill out. You sound like someone who's going to panic over every little thing - and then try to attack your ex for every little thing.

A temperature of 100 isn't something to panic over. In fact, in my house, we don't even take little Mist to the doctor unless she's over about 102 (depends on how she's feeling and acting). If you keep interfering with Dad's parenting time (and by any reasonable standard, a temperature of 100 is not a sufficient emergency to justify it), you could lose custody entirely.

Back off. A lot.

I can't agree more.

 

[gam]

OK, Mom, you need to chill out. You sound like someone who's going to panic over every little thing - and then try to attack your ex for every little thing.

A temperature of 100 isn't something to panic over. In fact, in my house, we don't even take little Mist to the doctor unless she's over about 102 (depends on how she's feeling and acting). If you keep interfering with Dad's parenting time (and by any reasonable standard, a temperature of 100 is not a sufficient emergency to justify it), you could lose custody entirely.

Back off. A lot.

I normally would agree with you, but because of OP's childs past illnesses, a temperature of 100 should not be overlooked. The child has had several months of illnesses, now has been diagnosed with asthma, is on breathing treatments and dad has refused to do treatments.

If you do some research on these illnesses this child has had, a high fever is not needed for the child to be having some issues that need treatment now.

Now with that being said, mom does need to be careful here. What I would do if I was mom and dad is not willing to do this appt tomorrow, not willing to delay his time because of the Dr appt, is take the child in tonight, either to an urgent care facility or the ER. Yep that is gonna cost some extra $'s but worth it IMO based on this childs history.

OP you don't want this battle yet, you have nothing but dad saying he is not giving treatments, you can't prove at this time he has not. If you take his time, he can file comtempt. You can't do anything, cause all you have is him saying he is not taking him to that appt in the morning. It's his time, maybe he won't take him, but that does not mean he won't seek medical care all weekend.

 

[LdiJ]

I normally would agree with you, but because of OP's childs past illnesses, a temperature of 100 should not be overlooked. The child has had several months of illnesses, now has been diagnosed with asthma, is on breathing treatments and dad has refused to do treatments.

If you do some research on these illnesses this child has had, a high fever is not needed for the child to be having some issues that need treatment now.

Now with that being said, mom does need to be careful here. What I would do if I was mom and dad is not willing to do this appt tomorrow, not willing to delay his time because of the Dr appt, is take the child in tonight, either to an urgent care facility or the ER. Yep that is gonna cost some extra $'s but worth it IMO based on this childs history.

OP you don't want this battle yet, you have nothing but dad saying he is not giving treatments, you can't prove at this time he has not. If you take his time, he can file comtempt. You can't do anything, cause all you have is him saying he is not taking him to that appt in the morning. It's his time, maybe he won't take him, but that does not mean he won't seek medical care all weekend.

I agree as well that in this instance the child needs to be seen due to the ongoing medical issues. I also don't think it should be delayed either. However I am not so sure that mom is in much risk for actually being held in contempt.

Think about it? Dad takes mom to court for contempt because she gave him the child an hour late. When mom explains WHY she gave dad the child an hour late, and that she invited dad to the appointment, who is the judge going to think is acting in the best interests of the child?

Its going to come out that dad was refusing to take the child for the appointment if he does that, because of course if dad was going to take the child to the appointment mom had every right to be there also.

 

[mistoffolees]

I normally would agree with you, but because of OP's childs past illnesses, a temperature of 100 should not be overlooked. The child has had several months of illnesses, now has been diagnosed with asthma, is on breathing treatments and dad has refused to do treatments.

If you do some research on these illnesses this child has had, a high fever is not needed for the child to be having some issues that need treatment now.

Now with that being said, mom does need to be careful here. What I would do if I was mom and dad is not willing to do this appt tomorrow, not willing to delay his time because of the Dr appt, is take the child in tonight, either to an urgent care facility or the ER. Yep that is gonna cost some extra $'s but worth it IMO based on this childs history.

OP you don't want this battle yet, you have nothing but dad saying he is not giving treatments, you can't prove at this time he has not. If you take his time, he can file comtempt. You can't do anything, cause all you have is him saying he is not taking him to that appt in the morning. It's his time, maybe he won't take him, but that does not mean he won't seek medical care all weekend.

I didn't say that you needed a fever of 100 to see the doctor. I said that if it was the ONLY symptom (which it appears to be from OP's latest complaint) then it's not an emergency.

Obviously, if there are other symptoms (difficulty breathing, significant lethargy, etc), then it could indicate that immediate attention is needed. But in that case, Mom's scheduling of an appointment for the next day isn't appropriate, either. But a fever of 100 with no other symptoms? Absolutely not an emergency.

 

[Ohiogal]

And if it is such an emergency? The ER is open 24/7. OP, you need to chill a bit. Because quite frankly if you jump to the "court can modify that then" argument, you are NOT coparenting or even attempting to have a better than mediocre relationship with dad.

 

[LdiJ]

And if it is such an emergency? The ER is open 24/7. OP, you need to chill a bit. Because quite frankly if you jump to the "court can modify that then" argument, you are NOT coparenting or even attempting to have a better than mediocre relationship with dad.

You might want to review the whole thread. The child is dealing with some pretty serious medical issues and dad is refusing to give the child his treatments. The child has been sick for several months.

 

[Ohiogal]

You might want to review the whole thread. The child is dealing with some pretty serious medical issues and dad is refusing to give the child his treatments. The child has been sick for several months.

Again, the ER is open 24 hours if it is an emergency.

 

[mariasusa]

OP,

This is my thinking/opinion - you may want to run it by your attorney.

When/if this ever goes to court...I would want some kind of request to the court that, since the child has had significant medical issues, that dad be required to attend, or set up his own appt with the doctor. Say in the case of dad refusing to give treatments (if that happens).

I am with you in that I wouldn't know exactly what to ask for. You want your child to have free access with dad, and you want your child cared for. The thing that keeps glaring at me is dads threat to not cooperate with the doctors orders...and he hasn't been to one appt. I can't imagine having a child have so many med appts., and I don't make it to ONE. Maybe if dad were required to go (might be against his rights constitutionally) he would be more cooperative on his own. Just a thought.

 

[gam]

I didn't say that you needed a fever of 100 to see the doctor. I said that if it was the ONLY symptom (which it appears to be from OP's latest complaint) then it's not an emergency.

Obviously, if there are other symptoms (difficulty breathing, significant lethargy, etc), then it could indicate that immediate attention is needed. But in that case, Mom's scheduling of an appointment for the next day isn't appropriate, either. But a fever of 100 with no other symptoms? Absolutely not an emergency.

I never said you did. What I said was I disagreed with you that a fever of 100, based on the childs recent past illnesses, should not be overlooked. No other symptom is needed to see the Dr for a child with a recent past medical history like this child has.

I didn't say it was an emergency either, but mom couldn't take him in yesterday, and mom then schedules appt for today on dads time. I clearly said she should not do that. I did say though she should take him in either to urgent care or the ER prior to going to dads.

Mom had 2 choices, send the child sick and hope dad does what he should, however dad has been refusing to this point. Or get the child in before dads time. Based on this child's past history, I would opt for getting child checked out prior to sending the child to dads.

If this child did not have this recent past medical history, I would have told mom what you did, fever of 100, no other symptom, chill out. But it is a big issue when the child has this past med history, that is the only symptom needed to take the child in.

The object to treat this child is now on catching new issues quickly. So the child does not end up with more breathing troubles, and other complications. The child's system in this area is already compromised. Big difference with a child like this, then another child who has no other past history and just has a 100 fever with no other symptoms.

 

[mommyanme]

OP,

This is my thinking/opinion - you may want to run it by your attorney.

When/if this ever goes to court...I would want some kind of request to the court that, since the child has had significant medical issues, that dad be required to attend, or set up his own appt with the doctor. Say in the case of dad refusing to give treatments (if that happens).

I am with you in that I wouldn't know exactly what to ask for. You want your child to have free access with dad, and you want your child cared for. The thing that keeps glaring at me is dads threat to not cooperate with the doctors orders...and he hasn't been to one appt. I can't imagine having a child have so many med appts., and I don't make it to ONE. Maybe if dad were required to go (might be against his rights constitutionally) he would be more cooperative on his own. Just a thought.

I thought about that

But here's what happened, Dad asked me 10 times where to pick our son up at 8:30, I told Dad the doctors office, baby was there waiting for dad at 8:30am. Dad sat in my driveway waiting on the Sheriff's department after telling them I said the baby was not going and he demanded the deputy to take the baby from me. Deputy read the note I left on the door and talked to me on the phone. I told the deputy I was not denying him the visit and I had told him where to meet for the baby.

Dad got to doctors office with the deputy was told the diagnosis and given the prescriptions and doctors instructions. Dad went in the doctors office saying "I'll talk to them myself" and everyone else left. By 10 am I was called by the office manager and she told me she had placed a call to CPS. I didn't get into specifics with her about what Dad did and said, she plainly stated she was fed up with his refusals, it was not for my benefit but for my son's and she was very nice to me. She did tell me however that Dad signed a release for transfer and said he was transferring doctors. I told her if he wants his own and she's willing to confer with them fine, but I do not agree with him changing doctors all together. Dad told her he was removing him from their care.

Dad did go a further distance and attempted to inform my employer and drag them into and he was quickly cut off. (I'm a federal employee) but this is a civil issue not a work issue.

A deputy I know spoke to me and let me know that they were being demanded to abide by the court order and to arrest me and take our son. They tried to explain to him what assist meant and he took all their names and badge numbers.

I didn't trust my own emotions or judgement because of those emotions after reading a few replies. So I called my old attorney and he said due to the circumstances, let him, the doctors office and now CPS handle it. So I am.

 

[LdiJ]

I thought about that

But here's what happened, Dad asked me 10 times where to pick our son up at 8:30, I told Dad the doctors office, baby was there waiting for dad at 8:30am. Dad sat in my driveway waiting on the Sheriff's department after telling them I said the baby was not going and he demanded the deputy to take the baby from me. Deputy read the note I left on the door and talked to me on the phone. I told the deputy I was not denying him the visit and I had told him where to meet for the baby.

Dad got to doctors office with the deputy was told the diagnosis and given the prescriptions and doctors instructions. Dad went in the doctors office saying "I'll talk to them myself" and everyone else left. By 10 am I was called by the office manager and she told me she had placed a call to CPS. I didn't get into specifics with her about what Dad did and said, she plainly stated she was fed up with his refusals, it was not for my benefit but for my son's and she was very nice to me. She did tell me however that Dad signed a release for transfer and said he was transferring doctors. I told her if he wants his own and she's willing to confer with them fine, but I do not agree with him changing doctors all together. Dad told her he was removing him from their care.

Dad did go a further distance and attempted to inform my employer and drag them into and he was quickly cut off. (I'm a federal employee) but this is a civil issue not a work issue.

A deputy I know spoke to me and let me know that they were being demanded to abide by the court order and to arrest me and take our son. They tried to explain to him what assist meant and he took all their names and badge numbers.

I didn't trust my own emotions or judgement because of those emotions after reading a few replies. So I called my old attorney and he said due to the circumstances, let him, the doctors office and now CPS handle it. So I am.

Wow...what a serious mess. Dad is behaving in an absurd manner. He does not have the right to change the child's doctor without your agreement. He was nuts to argue with the doctor to the point that CPS was called. He was nuts to try to drag your employer into it, and he was nuts to think that you could actually be arrested.

He was also nuts to sit in your driveway and call the cops when you told him the child was available for him at 8:30 at the doctor's office.

 

[gam]

Wow...what a serious mess. Dad is behaving in an absurd manner. He does not have the right to change the child's doctor without your agreement. He was nuts to argue with the doctor to the point that CPS was called. He was nuts to try to drag your employer into it, and he was nuts to think that you could actually be arrested.

He was also nuts to sit in your driveway and call the cops when you told him the child was available for him at 8:30 at the doctor's office.

Yep a serious mess. One mom had a choice in not making, yep I said mom. She had choices last night, she chose the choice she knew dad disagreed with.

Oh yeah though CPS to the rescue! Rolling my eyes, shaking my head, CPS is just so great, they save the children from the evil parents. Oh please, there is nothing really here that CPS can even get dad for at this point. Mom jumped the gun.

Drama, he said/she said, unfounded CPS cases, no medical harm to child at this point. Where is that going to get in Court? What is a Judge going to do on this?

 

[mistoffolees]

Yep a serious mess. One mom had a choice in not making, yep I said mom. She had choices last night, she chose the choice she knew dad disagreed with.

Oh yeah though CPS to the rescue! Rolling my eyes, shaking my head, CPS is just so great, they save the children from the evil parents. Oh please, there is nothing really here that CPS can even get dad for at this point. Mom jumped the gun.

Drama, he said/she said, unfounded CPS cases, no medical harm to child at this point. Where is that going to get in Court? What is a Judge going to do on this?

Exactly. Both Mom and Dad need to be taken out behind the woodshed for some serious re-education.